Chapter 12
Whatever it was that woke her, she is grateful for it. Sweat lets her clothes cling to her skin and her breathing is ragged. She feels dizzy and frightened, but she can’t recall what it was she dreamed about. She stands up on shaking legs and slips out of her room. She takes a peek into the kids’ room and feels her heart speed up once again as she sees the beds empty. It’s a week since Steve dropped small and it became a habit for her to look into the room when she wakes up at night. Running up and looking in both of the rooms for the men she feels more panic add to her already frightened mind. In a blur she’s gasping for air, her lungs burning and pushes the door open to the common room. Her eyes quickly dart through the room. Somewhere in her mind she’s confused why everyone is in the common room in the middle of the night. Then again, it’s not that unusual for all of them to have a sit-in at three in the morning. “Doll?” Her eyes dart back to a spot on the couch and find Bucky’s gray eyes. He stands up slowly and walks over to her. “Y/N? You’re okay? You look shaken.” It takes her some seconds to process that she’s not seeing a kid but an actual grown man. Then a picture flashes through her mind. Bucky with blood all over himself a knife in his hand and her. Under him. His eyes are cold. She never has seen them like this.
A touch startles her, and she reaches out to get the hand off of her shoulder. A chocked scream rings in her ears. She feels the eyes of the others on her, but she doesn’t care. He should stop! It hurts!
“Y/N!” Steve springs up, his self again, too and Tony jumps up to follow him. Bucky is on his knees still choking on screams and tears on his cheek. He tries to get Y/N’s hand from his flesh arms but her grip is tight. He feels like he boils from the inside out. “Y/N, let go!”
“What’s happening?”
“Tony? What is she doing?”
“What’s up with Barnes?” Y/N hears all this, but she feels herself slip. Her mind is far away, still captured in the picture in front of her eyes. Bucky. Hurting her. Suddenly hands are on hers. The hand holding the arms gets ripped away and with a gasp the other hand lets go of her again. She looks down slowly, seeing everything like in a fog. Bucky is lying on the floor. He’s really pale. Nat holds him against her chest and helps him breath. Why is he on the floor? Wasn’t he on the couch? Slowly her eyes look around. Steve hold his hand and shakes it a bit but the others. The others stare at her in confusion. Everyone. Except Tony. “Y/N.” He comes up to her and carefully places a hand on her shoulder, prepared to extract it in a matter of a second. Everything clears a bit more, and she looks back down at Bucky. Her eyes widen and she looks at Steve. The blonde kneels down next to Bucky to check him over before his eyes meet hers. He looks confused, kind of hurt, too. “Oh, god. I did it.” She gasps and slaps a hand over her mouth. She takes a few steps back from all the people, letting Tony’s hand slip from her shoulder. “Y/N?” Steve calls her name, but she shakes her head and takes another step back just to hit another person. She looks around and sees Bruce behind her. He smiles kindly at her before he directs his gaze to Steve. “That’s it Y/N. I tell them, okay?” Tears spring in Y/N’s eyes, and she shakes her head but Bruce smiles sadly at her. “It has to be done now. I’m sorry.”
“Bruce. What the hell is going on?” Clint looks at him and many emotions play on his face. She can’t really tell which one she can see, but she knows that they all don’t mean anything good. She takes a few steps back again after, Bruce walks over to Bucky and checks him over. “It’s Y/N’s power.” Tony answers for the scientist. “Y/N’s power?” Steve looks to her and then to Tony, confusion written all over his face. “Yeah, well, HYDRA wasn’t as unsuccessful as we at first thought. It just took some time to… appear.”
“Explain.” Sam leans back against the bar and crosses his arms. His attention is fully directed at Tony. “Y/N came to me saying she manipulated the water in her tub. We made some test and it tuned out that she can actually heat or freeze any liquid she wants to.” Bruce says as he pat Bucky on the shoulder and watches as Steve and Nat lift him up on shaky legs. “That means blood as well, how it seems now.” Everybody raises an eyebrow and their eyes dart to her. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Nat asks and takes a step forward but stops as Bucky sways without her support. “I-I… I thought…”
“She asked us not to because we were pretty sure it will vanish in a few days.” Tony says and shrugs as the others gape at him. “So, you choose not to tell us?” Steve asks in more confusion than even possible. He looks understanding though. Tony just nods and shrugs again.
Y/N feels her breathing get faster again as Steve takes a few long steps to her and stretches out his hand. He looks concerned. A bubble of fear flies up in her gut. Fear of hurting him, too, so she takes a step back again as he comes too close and almost touches her. Steve stops immediately “Y/N?” He sighs and the concern that just showed on his face drops from just the one word that he said. She shakes her head more vehemently and looks in horror as Bucky takes a few shaky steps until he’s right next to Steve and uses him as a walker. She turns around quickly as they come closer to her as fast as her feet can carry her, she’s out of the door. She misses how Steve’s and Bucky’s expressions fall and how they exchange a sad look. Y/N doesn’t run to her room, well knowing, that the boys easily find her there. Instead, she runs out. Out of the common room, out of the living quarters. Out of the compound, over the grass outside, the whole way to the main gate. She’s still in her sleep wear, but she doesn’t care. She just runs and runs and runs until her feet hurt and her lungs burn. The moment she looks around she finds herself far away from the compound, somewhere on the street in the middle of the forest. She gasps for air and lets the tears fall. I did it. I ruined everything. How am I supposed to go back now?
She falls down to her knees and sobs. She wants so badly to call her friend but her phone is in her room. The life like she knows it is over for her now. She can’t go back. And she can’t talk about it.
She’s so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t hear the quick footsteps that pound into her direction. Just as they slow down and get louder, she registers them. She looks up and is met with Steve’s worried and Bucky’s pale faces a few feet away from her. She scrambles up, almost stumbles but catches herself and backs away again. New tears burn in her already red eyes. “Please. Don’t run off again.” Steve calls just as she turns around to run once again but this time she doesn’t come far. A hand grabs her shoulder a bit firmly but softer than usual, and she’s pulled against a board chest. A cold hand covers her eyes while the other hand drapes itself around her waist. She sobs as Bucky lays his forehead against the back of her head. “It’s okay, doll. I know you didn’t mean to. I’m fine now. Okay? It’s fine.” She shakes her head against his, carefully, just as another pair of hands lay on her shoulders. “Y/N. It’s okay. You’re fine and so is Buck. We’re not mad. I think everybody understands the fact that you rather take it as a secret then tell us all. And it’s okay.”
They whisper to her for a few more minutes, and she feels herself relax just a bit but the fear still clings to her mind. What she doesn’t registers is that they guide her down to the ground. She just registers it as her back hits a tree. Just then Bucky steps away from her and releases her. But he sits down on one side of her while Steve covers the other side. She shivers but both men press themselves against her and warm her sides. “Y/N? Are you okay? Talk to us.” She looks up from her lap and meets Bucky’s eyes once again. Then she shakes her head. “Y/N, you can tell us.” Steve’s calm voice talks to her as he takes one of her hand in his big ones. She murmurs it in a silent whisper, but she knows that Steve and Bucky can hear her nonetheless. “Nightmare.”
“You want to talk about it?” She shakes her head at Steve and it grows silent for a moment longer. But soon she starts shuffling. Suddenly, light blinds them and a car comes up, followed by a second one, only to stop on the side of the road, not far from them. Tony, Wanda, Nat and Sam step out and slowly approach them. They don’t say anything. Instead, they sit down silently and Sam passes a blanket to Steve who drapes it around Y/N. After a while she shuffles around nervously again. A questing nagging her mind. “What is it. Just let it out, Y/N.” Wanda says softly and smiles at her kindly. For a second, she matches it before she frowns and looks at the boys beside her. “Why… How did you get big again?”
“Ah...” Steve gets red instantly and looks down while Bucky just laughs. “Steve?”
“Don’t worry, doll. He just got teased for running around naked a few minutes before you showed up.” She smiles at Bucky’s words and even giggles for a moment. “Anyway. I woke up and was naked in a small bed and when I looked over Stevie was also very naked in a very small bed. We got dressed and got up to the common room and surprisingly everybody was there as well. Then you came up.” Bucky grins at her and rubs her arms. “I see. And so, you… remember anything?”
“Everything.” Y/N feels herself blush but Steve starts laughing. “Don’t worry. I rather have you changing my diapers than one of them.” He points mostly at Tony and earns himself a glare from the man. “Okay.”
“Ice-cream?” Suddenly a box of chocolate ice-cream flies into her sight and three spoons follow. Y/N looks up and sees Sam holing it out to her. She smiles at him, grateful for the distraction and is quick to dig in. She gives Steve and Bucky a spoon, and they share her box. “Why did you bring ice-cream with you?” Nat frowns at Sam but he shrugs. “Ice-cream always helps.”
“I can’t believe I sit here, at four in the morning in the middle of the forest, to eat ice-cream with you.”
“Then you should start to because it’s what we do, Y/N.” Steve nudges her and shares a smile with her while he shoves a mouthful of ice-cream into his mouth. Y/N fells relaxed. She already has forgotten about the incident from half an hour prior. At least for the moment.
* * *
“So, how are you feeling?”
“Good. I mean, when I consider what I did this morning I’m pretty good.”
“Y/N, that wasn’t your fault.” Bruce looks up from her arm where he takes some blood samples and frowns at her expression. “You weren’t yourself and Bucky doesn’t judge you. He’s fine, Helen checked him over.” Y/N nods and looks down at her hands. “I still could have killed him. Bruce, to be honest, I don’t know if I want this power. Yes, you said it will be gone in a few days and yes, it is useful as long as I have it but… The damage I can do is intense. I don’t want that. I’m just glad that everybody dropped the fact that fast and no one brought it back up since then.”
“Y/N.” Bruce takes her hand after he draws out the needle from her arm. “Everything is fine. We’re all friends and we will stay friends. No matter if someone will get powers or just has a tough time. And, I don’t feel like I should have to tell you that, because I’m sure you already know that.” Y/N nods and smiles shyly at the scientist. “Okay. So. I will look at this and you tell me when you feel any changes. Until then go out and do some things that distract you. Go to town or something. And take Steve and Bucky with you. I don’t like it when they eavesdrop me.” He walks over to the door and rips it open, revealing Steve and Bucky with red faces. Y/N laughs and hops down from Bruce table. She shakes her head at the two soldiers and waves her goodbye to Bruce as she drags the men with her to the garage. Maybe a day at town isn’t that bad of an idea.