Chapter 7
Everything is unfamiliar and to get settled will take Y/N a lot of time. She had stuffed all her clothes into her closet yesterday and was too tired to do anything else, so she went to bed early, after Steve had set it up properly. This morning Bucky had made breakfast for her, which was surprisingly good. “Y/N?” She looks up from her last box of things she had to pack away to find Steve in her doorway. “Hey. What’s up?” She smiles up at him as she slowly shuffles out of her crouch to sit fully on the ground, stretching her legs out. Steve looks at her for a moment, a dreamy expression on his face before he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. His face switches into one filled with quilt. He shuffles a bit uncomfortable in the doorway until Y/N raises an eyebrow at him and motions for him to come in and sit with her. She watches as he sits down in front of her, peeking into the box with her albums and CD’s before looking at her. “What is it Steve?”
“I have bad news.” He’s silent for a second before he sighs. “I hate this.”
“What is it? You’re scaring me a bit.” She rubs her hands against each other. “Sorry.” Steve rubs the back of his head before his eyes lock on her. “We have to leave.” Y/N opens her mouth to say something but closes it again. She studies his face for a second before speaking up. “With we you mean... you and Bucky, don’t you?” Steve nods. “Tony told us something about a Hydra base establishing not far away from New York. If that are the same people who are responsible for breaking into your old apartment then we have to get rid of it more quickly than if they’re not. Not that we want you to leave of course.” He waves his hands as he sees Y/N’s face fall. “I didn’t mean it like that. But they know of you and if they are nearby there is no possibility for you to be safe if you leave the compound.” She nods and looks down at her hands, legs crossing again. A shadow appears in the doorway, and she sees Bucky come up to them. She hears him huff out a breath as he falls down to sit next to Steve. She even things that she sees him kiss Steve on the cheek for a moment. She nods again before looking directly at Steve. “How long?” As she gets no answer from him, she looks at Bucky. He shrugs under her gaze. “A couple of days probably.”
“It’s just that I don- We don’t like to leave you alone while you’re still new to all of this.” He corrects himself as Bucky nudges him and motions through the room. “A week.” Both pairs of eyes settle on her. “What?” Steve cocks his head to the side while Bucky just stares confused at her. “I give you a week.” Bucky and Steve stare at each other before Steve starts to speak but shuts up immediately as Y/N goes on further. “After that I would appreciate it if at least one of you comes back, so that I don’t have to learn everything by myself. Besides what am I doing with all the cooked things I make if nobody is here to eat it, so that we don’t have leftovers for the next day when I’m too tired to cook and two whiny men sit in the living room?” Bucky nods and let out a laugh. He takes her hand in his flesh one and squeezes it lightly. “Sure thing. A week. But I want apple pie when we get back. Got it, doll?” They both blush a bit at that word but neither of them says anything.
* * *
A week and a half later Y/N stands on the landing platform, waiting for the jet and her best friends to arrive. They couldn’t keep their promise to come back after a week but at this moment she doesn’t care. Nervous marching up and down, she mutters to herself. The familiar sound reaches her ears and she looks up. The black plane comes in eyesight and a smile spreads over her face. “Finally.” She frowns a bit as the back of the jet opens but nobody comes jumping out like they normally do. A bit of a worry starts to climb in her gut. As the plane lands she makes slowly steps to it. First, she sees Nat and Tony, then Sam and Steve. She’s about to call out for them, but then she sees their hurried steps and worried expression. Doors fly open behind her, letting her twitch back. She turns around and watches as a handful of medics run up to the jet. Seconds later they run back inside, Steve hurrying behind them, not noticing her, but with a small glimpse on the stretcher makes her know why. Bucky lies on it, pale, covered in blood and obviously not conscious. Probably for his best.
A hand touches her shoulder and she twitches again. “Sorry.” She tuns around to see Nat standing beside her. “Nat…” Her voice is a bit hoarse, but that’s nothing she worries about. “What-?” She can’t ask more. The words get stuck in her throat. She clears her throat and tries again. “What happened? Is he okay?” Nat eyes her for a second. She lays her arm around Y/N’s shoulders and motions for her to leave the platform to go into the building. “It probably would be better if you ask Steve about it, but if I remember how he was in the jet it could make it worse for him.” Y/N’s eyes dart to Nat, a bit confused but suddenly even more concerned and fly back to the door Steve vanished a few seconds earlier. “There were more agents than we had thought of. Bucky was with Sam on one of the top floors of the building. Sam got thrown out of the window. He’s okay, don’t worry. But that left Bucky with more than eight agents. They managed to get near him and trap him. One stabbed him in his right side, another one dislocated his shoulder. Somehow, he got shot in his leg, too. He fought through it but collapsed as soon as Steve and I managed to come up to him.” Y/N inhales sharply, staring in front of her the whole time. “I know he’s one of your best friends and since you’re with us he’s more a friend to every one of us that he ever was. We’re all worried.” Y/N nods slowly before her gaze meets Natasha’s. “And Steve?” Natasha sighs, taking her arm from Y/N’s shoulder before wringing her hands together. “I need to ask you for a favor.”
“A favor?” Y/N looks at her face as the red head stops her and turns her around so that they stand face to face. “Steve’s really worried. I didn’t saw him like this since he got Bucky back and Peggy died. He didn’t spoke, he didn’t move I almost swore he didn’t breathe at all since we were in the plane. What’s worse is that he’s thinking, which usually lead to blaming himself. And he’s definitely not at fault here. I want you to stay with him. Cheer him up. Get his thoughts to stop. If you can’t do that, then please, at least keep him company.”
“Why me?”
“Because we all know you’re close to him and Bucky. And they both like you. You’re the best choice. You’re living with them and can make sure Steve gets some sleep and takes care of himself as long as Bucky is out.” Y/N nods. It’s true that she’s really close to them but that is to be expected if she reminds herself that she’s living with them. “Okay.” She nods again and before she even remembers the way she finds herself shoved into the med bay. It takes her just one look around before she sees the blonde. Steve sits hunched over on a bench, head in his hands. Slowly she steps up to him. She calls out for him to not startle him. “Steve?” The man looks up briefly before sinking back in his previous position. Just a small “Y/N” leaves his lips. For a moment she thinks about what to do now, but then she throws her thoughts aside and does what her instinct tells her. She walks up closer to him and kneels down in front of him. Her hands softly shove his away before she covers his cheeks with hers. “I’m sorry.” She means it for Bucky getting hurt, for them going out fighting to keep her protected and for her to probably annoy him right now. His eyes are red rimmed but Y/N pays them no mind. Her thumb strokes small circles on his cheek while she makes sure he’s not in shock or something else. Steve closes his eyes at the motion, a watery and defeated sigh leaves his lips. She straightens up a bit and guides his face in her shoulder. One hand resting on his back, the other on the back on his head. “I’m sorry.” She repeats it again. Just for herself but she knows he’s listening. “Don’t be.”
“But I am.” She draws circles on his back and slowly combing her fingers through his hair. She feels her shoulder slowly getting wet as his arms circle around her, and he hugs her back. “He’ll be alright.” Steve nods so she does it, too. They sit like this for a while. They change back to sit on the bench, then again for Steve to lean against a wall while Y/N still sits and so on. They settle back on the bench, Y/N holding a nervous shivering Steve in her arms again as a door flies open. “Captain Rogers.” A man stands in front of them. Y/N shuffles back, standing beside Steve who stands up. She wants to take a step back, give them the space to talk but a clammy hand takes hers. She doesn’t need to look down to know that Steve is nervous about what might come. She studies his face for a second before tightening her grip on his hand as silent support. “Sergeant Barnes is coming out of surgery now. We stitched the stab wound and cleaned up the bullet wounds. The arm is back in its place but all of these injuries will take its time to heal. Even with the serum. He should stay out of fights for at least a week. No training either. We think he makes a full recovery.” Y/N lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She hears Steve doing the same and feels him relax. “Thank you. Can I... see him?”
“Of course. It may take him a while to wake up, though. Please follow me.” The man motions for him to follow him and as Steve takes the first step Y/N lets go of his hand. Steve turns around and frowns at her. “You’re not coming?”
“No. He’s your boyfriend. I don’t want to disturb you two.”
“You’re not. Actually, we would…” Y/N raises an eyebrow as Steve suddenly stops speaking. The older man shakes his head before gently smiling at her, an innocent expression on his face. “You sure? I’m sure he would be happy to see you, too.”
“I’m sure. Go on.” She smiles at him and takes another step back. “Can you wait for me? Please?” He shows his puppy eyes but that’s not the reason why Y/N nods. It’s his voice. He sounds small, younger and broken. Like he would fall apart if he has to be alone for more than a few minutes. “I’ll wait.” She assures him with a nod as he turns around to follow the doctor through the door he came from.
It’s almost an hour later when Steve comes back to the waiting area. His eyes are redder than before and Y/N can clearly see red stripes on his cheeks where the tears must have rolled down. She stands up from her chair and waits for Steve to look at her. “You waited.” He says it as if he didn’t believe in her words earlier. “Of course, I did. I said it, didn’t I?” Steve nods and eyes her before he nods. “Thank you.”
“Okay. Now that you’re back, I have something for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah, well originally, I planned it for you and Bucky but now it seems you need it urgently, so I plan something else for you two. Come on, follow me.”
“Wait. What do you have planned?”
“I’m not telling.” She drags Steve through the halls to the elevator back to their shared apartment. The whole time Steve tries to find out what she had planned, but she keeps it her secret. Secretly she hopes that this little game takes his mind on other thoughts than his injured boyfriend down in the med bay. She shoves him forward until they stop in front of Steve’s bathroom door. “What are we doing here?”
“Strip down, get in and let yourself be surprised.” She looks at Steve proudly, but then she notices what she just said and sees his face getting red. “Oh my god. I’m sorry.” She slaps her hands on her mouth, getting red herself. “I-I didn’t mean… get in there, and... do... whatever you want.” She quickly opens the door and pushes the man inside before slamming it shut again. She lets out a breath before slamming one hand against her forehead. “You’re so stupid.” While Steve soaks in the hot bath she had made earlier she starts to prepare dinner for them. She had planned on doing Bucky’s favorite food she learned he loved if she makes it. But now she decides against it and just makes some spaghetti. She had baked apple pie earlier so that would do for today. Steve always begged for her apple pie if she didn’t make it in a long time. And Bucky had asked for it for their return, anyway. The moment Steve steps into the kitchen, sweatpants and no shirt on, a towel slung around his neck Y/N places the plates on the table. She turns around and gives him a gentle smile as he dries his hair with an edge of the towel. She feels her face get hot at the sight and quickly looks away to not stare at her friend. “What did you make? It smells good.”
“Spaghetti with my secret homemade sauce. And something special for later.” Steve raises both eyebrows, a smile on his face. He sits down and they start to eat. Y/n is sure she hears him moan for a second.
After Y/N had started the dishwasher and packed the remaining food in the fridge she shuffles into the living room. Steve had retired to bed early, claiming he’s exhausted. She didn’t really mind. It often happens that both or one of them retires early after missions. Yes, she’s a bit concerned about Steve and about Bucky, but she knows everything will be alright. Bucky can leave the med bay by tomorrow evening and Steve would be happy to have him around again. She picks out a book from one of the shelves Steve and Bucky had filled with new and old books and sits on the sofa. Soon she’s a bit lost in the story as footsteps come near her. She points at the sentence she stops at and looks up to find Steve nervously stepping from foot to foot next to the sofa. They stare at each other before Steve rubs his neck and looks at his naked feet. “You’re alright?” Y/N eyes him a bit closer. Steve looks kind of pale even if a little blush crosses his cheeks. “I…eh. I can’t sleep. You know that Bucky normally sleeps in there with me, so…”
“I see. You’re lonely.”
“Kind of, yes.”
“You can join me.” She pats at the space beside her, but Steve shakes his head no. “Actually, I wanted to ask you to join me. If it's okay for you, of course.” He peeks up a bit to look at her through his eyelashes. Puppy look, again. Y/N thinks for a moment. It’s a bit of a special ask, but she knows that if he doesn’t sleep, he just worries the whole night. “I can rub your shoulders and read to you until you fall back asleep. Would that help?” She holds up the book she was reading, so that Steve can look at it. “That would be great. Thank you.” She smiles at him as she stands up. “Lead the way, big boy.” She grins at him as a small smile spreads over his lips.
Waiting for him to get comfortable, she sits down beside him on the mattress and places the book on the nightstand. For a while she rubs his shoulders while he lies on his stomach. She can feel the tension in his body. “Steve.” She knows that she sounds sad, but she can’t other than that. “It's okay.” She stops massaging him and crouches on the ground in front of his face. New tears stream out of his eyes. She lays a hand on his cheek. “Come on, big boy. Bucky is going to be alright. You know that do you?” She waits for him to nod. “What will he say if he finds out that you’re blaming yourself for something everybody knows you’re not to blame for?”
“But I am. I’m the leader. I had to-”
“You had to rescue him. And from what I heard you did. So, no blaming Steve. You did what you could and you saved him. Bucky had worse injuries. He gets through this quickly. Probably with a bit of whining and acting like a child.” That makes Steve’s lips twitch up a bit. “See? Now scoot over and let a woman have some space.” The captain does and Y/N gets comfortable beside him, picks up the book and opens it. “Back from the start or should I start where I stopped earlier?”
“Which book is it?”
“The Hunger Games.” She shows him the cover once more. “If you would start at the beginning, it would be good. Bucky was the only one who read it.”
“Okay. Close your eyes.” She places the covers over his body before she starts reading and while doing so, she combs softly through his hair until she hears his breathing even out. Still, she reads another few chapters until she falls asleep herself.
* * *
“You can’t be serious. You just recovered. Stay home. Keep Y/N company.”
“And risk that you get hurt? Steve I’m not dying. I can fight. And someone has to look for your ass to be safe.”
“But you have injuries that aren’t fully healed. Stay home! And it wasn’t my ass that got hurt last time.” Steve clenches his Hand to fists. “I don’t want you running around, claiming to be a hero and risking worsening your injuries.”
“Who’s claiming to be a hero? You know as good as I that I’m not a god-damn hero. I’m a monster. I did things no hero would do. It would be better if-“
“Don’t you dare to end this sentence! Don’t you dare!”
“STOP IT!” Y/N shouts. Both men twitch and turn to look at her, freezing in their spots. “Stop it, both of you.” She shakes her head and stands up from her spot on the armchair where she watched them fight for the last ten minutes with a tired sigh. “I understand both of you and at the same time I think you’re both idiots. I’m going to decide what you do now, because you two obviously can’t.” The men gaping their mouths, but she holds up her hand and shakes her head so that none of them says anything that lies on their tongues. “You two obviously can’t really stay without each other, so you’re going both. I don’t need a babysitter. Yes, I’ll be lonely but Tony told me he’ll stay this time. So, pack up, both of you and at least try not to fight and call if you have the time. No arguments. And no injures this time.” She glares at Bucky for a second than at Steve. “Y/N, are you’re serious?”
“Yes, I am Steve. Look at him. He’s not as fragile as you make him and I’m pretty sure that you would want to do the same. Stop arguing and pouting. And you stop being so proud.” She slaps Bucky on his shoulder which let him wince a bit. They both stroll back to their personal rooms and get dressed and packed up. Y/N goes to her room, changes into some jeans and a top, putting her hair into a ponytail and leaves again to get the boys to the jet. After several promises on each side they finally take off. “So, what are you going to do now?”
“I think I’M going to take a walk in the park nearby.”
“Alone? Take Happy with you.”
“Nah. I’m fine alone. I don’t plan to make it a long walk anyway. And what are you going to do?” Y/N looks at Tony as they walk back inside. “Make some updates. Be awesome. The usual.”
“Don’t blow up your lab again.”
“That wasn’t me. Dum-E is just too stupid to-”
“Stop blaming the poor bot Tony.” The man huffs a breath before shaking his head. They reach the elevator and Y/N watches the brunette step in and waves at her. “Take care and watch yourself. Don’t hesitate to call if something’s up. And take the phone I made for you, so that I can detect you.” She nods and waves back before she leaves in direction of the park. The walk isn’t very long, barely half an hour. She walks around a little lake, watches the children play and dogs running around and listens to the bees flying around. Suddenly there’s a stab at her left side of her neck. She reaches up but feels nothing. “Probably a mosquito or a bee.” She shrugs it off and walks further down the path. She blinks a bit faster as some white dots dance at the corner of her eyes. She feels a little lightheaded. Again, she reaches up to touch the side of her neck which still stings a bit but feels nothing. Clumsily she takes out the mobile Tony had given her and dials his number. She stumbles in direction of a near bank. “That’s not normal.” She starts to feel a bit panicked at the sudden issues. Looking around she notices that there is nobody in sight she could ask for help. The phone rings, so she focuses on that alone. Why did I go alone? I should have taken Happy with me.
“Y/N?” Tony’s voice calls to her ear, loud music playing in the background that he seems to turn down as he answers her. “T-Tony… I…” She feels her breath quickens as she makes her way to the bench, as if she ran a marathon.
“Y/N? You’re alright? Where are you?”
“I… In the Park. I feel… I feel strange. Dizzy.”
“Okay. Sit down somewhere. I send someone to pick you up.” She can hear him speak to FRIDAY in a hushed voice. “T-ony, I…” Everything grows fuzzier and speaking gets more complicated. She barely can make out the bench in front of her. Everything is just a mix of colors. “Stab.”
“Stab? Did you got stabbed? Hold on. I’m on it, I send Happy. Wait a sec…” Y/N stumbles and nearly falls. She wheezes for a moment before catching herself. “Y/N?”
“Help…” She doesn’t mange more as she collapses. The phone clatters to the ground next to her. She hears Tony call her name frantically. There are black silhouettes. And then just blackness.