Oops!
Loki’s just about ready to admit to himself that this little prank on his brother has gone too far. Probably because it’s been four days. It is the fourth day of Bruce driving him to the middle school that he now attends, I guess. And Thor’s coming back soon, eventually. Once that happens, everything that Loki has lied about for the past four days will come crashing down. He has no doubt that Thor will recognize him instantly if he sees him. Even just the back of his head when he sees him. He’s actually really surprised that Bruce has no idea, or doesn’t seem to, anyway.
It started with one night on the couch. Bruce was reluctant to let him in at first, except no one but Thor has been able to resist a patented Loki stare. Then, at seven o’clock in the morning, he was awoken by a fully dressed Bruce with keys in hand. They jingle as he struggles to wake Kevin up from his slumber.
“Ok, I’m taking you to school, Kevin.” He prodded Kevin a few times before his hand was swatted away.
“What in the world are you talking about, Banner?” In his groggy state, Kevin forgot that he wasn’t supposed to know exactly who Bruce Banner was. He cursed under his breath.
“Hey, wait a second-” Bruce took a step back towards the umbrella holder near the door.
“I looked at your driver’s license. Sorry, Bruce.” Loki has always been good at quick thinking.
“God damn it, Kevin.” Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed in disappointment, and Kevin almost felt bad for a second there. “Ok, let’s go. I’m taking you to school.”
Kevin sprung out of bed and stepped up to Bruce, who didn’t budge. Damn. That would have worked if he was back to normal. “You don’t even know which school I go to.”
Bruce switched the keys from his right to left hand. “There’s only one school near here that takes elementary and middle school students, and I’m pretty sure you don’t go to the high school. Sorry, kid, I did my research.”
“Ok, well, I’m not going.” Kevin smirked as though he had ended the argument that simply.
“I’ll give you twenty dollars if you go to school right now.”
“I’m going.” Kevin rushed out the door before Bruce could get another word in.
And so this marks the fourth day that he had slept at his brother’s house, lied to his brother’s boyfriend on every mark, and had his brother’s boyfriend drive him to a school he didn’t go to. Bruce has been packing his lunches every day, in a brown paper bag. Today he made ham and cheese. He’s made friends and he’s running for school president. It has only been four days.
Every time Loki has started to realize that he should just stop the charade and run away, he quickly waves it away unconsciously. Because this is the most normal life that he’s maybe ever had, and he’s enjoying it, though he won’t admit it to himself. Or to anyone. He’s started to lie to himself as well, and now no one is in charge of the illusion. Loki just hopes that maybe, somehow, some way, Thor will get back from wherever the fuck and everything can just stay the same as it is now.
The car stopped in front of the drop-off zone and Kevin hurried out, the leather of the car squeaks as he shimmies himself out.
“Have fun, Kevin!” Kevin waves goodbye as Bruce drives away. In his rearview mirror, he can see Kevin run excitedly to class when he thinks that Bruce isn’t looking. The tapping of his shoes echoes off the concrete walls, and some of the kids greet him as he passes by.
This is all very weird, and Bruce knows it. It’s very, very weird. He’s hoping that the kid is lying about being homeless, but the emotion in his voice and the vividness of the details when he talks about his family is just too convincing. Besides, at least he’s going to school every day, even though it costs Bruce a clean ten to twenty each day, depending on how open to negotiation Kevin is feeling at any given time.
Bruce tries not to think about the long-term sustainability of this whole situation. He’s more worried about Thor, who hasn’t contacted him since he left. Probably because Thor doesn’t have a phone or know how to use one. Plus, it’s doubtful he has a signal in space. Still, he coulda sent a….carrier pigeon? Drone? Anything?
So what if the routine of driving this fucking weird kid to school every day is making him feel better? He doesn’t do well with this kind of thing. No contact. And he’s not even sure when Thor will be back from his really interesting outer-space trip that Bruce wasn’t invited to-
The car behind him honks, and he wakes up from his thoughts to see that the light is now green. “Shit.”
-
Thor wakes up from his power nap in the living quarters of the spaceship along with the sudden jolt of the pilot steering away from something unseen. He snaps up into a seated position, bumping his head on the top of the ceiling in the process. The engine hums quietly as the ship continues on its path to Earth uncomplicated. He fell asleep in his cape again, and it’s wrapped itself around him, trapping his arms. It takes him a minute to figure out how to break free. When he does, he stumbled himself into the cockpit. Another jolt rocks the ship again, dodging a small meteor. The lights in the cabin are very dim compared to the light of the Earth in the distance, which turns everything a hazy blue.
“Hey big guy, we’re getting there. Around an hour and we’ll be safe as houses.” Comes the voice from the pilot’s chair.
Thor only nods while he looks around frantically for the coffee pot. He finds nothing. “Where’s the coffee pot, Qu-”
“How many times do I have to tell you that we don’t have a coffee pot? Jesus. I should keep a tally.”
Thor rolls his eyes and drags himself back to the living quarters. “Ok, fine, just speed this up a little bit, alright? I want to go home.” He sneers. The cape rack remains empty as Thor again forgets to take off it off as he goes to lie down. Thor receives no response except a few silent curses and the slight increase in the speed of travel. He falls to sleep within a few minutes of laying down, cape wrapped around him like a cocoon as the ship speeds towards Earth.
-
Loki rocks his feet back and forth while waiting at the drop off center. There are no other children waiting, only him. It’s not the Bruce is late, Bruce is always early. It’s that he’s far too early. He told the math teacher that he had to go to the bathroom and never came back. It must have not seemed suspicious that he packed all of his things up before he left. He couldn’t stand to be in there any longer, the math was boring to him, sure, he learned all the same things thousands of years ago. But that wasn’t the point, his anxiety had been ramping up all day because he knew that every second that ticked by was one second closer to the arrival of his brother. He didn’t have a plan for that. And no matter how hard he thinks, he can’t think of a good one. A plan where no one gets hurt.
He fiddles with his jacket strings and sighs. The wind blows a few leaves across the sidewalk. The second he even said a word to Bruce was the second this all went wrong. It didn’t really matter that he stayed four whole days, it would have been almost as bad if he just left after Bruce drove away. Thor would react almost the same. Almost. And on that note, Loki’s anxiety shifts to anger, as it tends to. Why can’t his brother just chill for two seconds and realize that it’s not even a big deal? So what he lied and then...broke into their...apartment..and lied to Thor’s………...boyfriend. Oops.
The school bell rings, and children rush out of every classroom. Right on time, Bruce pulls up, and Loki suddenly forgets the whole thing and jumps right in.
“Hi, Kevin. How was school?” Bruce smiles at the rearview mirror.
“Ugh. Don’t ask me that, it’s weird.” Kevin blushes. “It was good, I guess.”
Bruce laughs. “Ok, I’ll try not to. What was good about it, though?”
Kevin watches the trees out of the backseat window and smiles. “I’ll tell you if you give me ten dollars.”
“How about I give you the last ice cream sandwich instead?”
“The deal has been made, then. I only hope you honor this pact.” He squints at the back of the driver’s chair.
Bruce turns into the parking lot of their apartment. “We’ll see, we’ll see.” Bruce exits, and at the same time, forgets to lock the car once again. He walks towards the lobby with Kevin coming along close behind. The doorman smiles at both of them as they pass through the door. Kevin takes a lollipop from the bowl at the front counter, which the doorman has only recently placed there, seemingly just for him. And Kevin loves the attention.
“Have any homework?” Bruce says as they go up the stairs, his keys jingle softly as he readies them for the lock on the door. Bruce locks the door now, thanks to The Incident.
“I know a trick when I see one. Let’s honor the deal first.” Kevin skips ahead of Bruce and waits with excitement at the door.
Bruce laughs and unlocks the door. Kevin is the first one to go through it, rushing to the freezer before Bruce can say anything else on the matter. He sits down at the table and takes no time unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth. Just in case Bruce called off the whole thing. You never know.
“I-”
“Yes, I do have homework, but Sandra is doing it for me because I paid her. It helps that she has a crush on Summer and she doesn’t want that to get out.” Bruce only raises his eyebrows. “And my day was good because….” Kevin speaks with his mouth full but stops chewing for a second to think about his answer. His eyes light up. “Because nothing happened.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Yes, very. When something happens, it’s always bad.”
“Kevin, I really don’t think that’s true.” Bruce laughs shortly, with concern.
“Trust me. I know about happenings. They’re not good.” He points his ice cream and Bruce and raises his eyebrows before taking another bite.
Then the room falls to silence while Loki slash Kevin eats his hard-won iced cream. Bruce leans against the wall with crossed arms and stares at the floor, thinking. He scratches his chin. “Thor’s coming home soon, you know. Maybe today.” He looks up at Kevin, who’s made a mess of his face. “Do you want to be here when he comes? I mean, I’m sure he’d love to meet you.”
Kevin wipes his mouth with his jacket sleeve and sighs. “I uh, I don’t know. For once. I don’t know what to do, and I’ve never said that before, but it’s true. I think things are just going to happen, no matter what I do, so...might as well just...I don’t know, have fun while I still...can…” Kevin looks down. “We only have so much time. Bruce. We will require more iced cream.”
Bruce laughs and wipes his face with his hand, and Kevin is offended by this. “Kevin, it’s just my boyfriend, he’s not gonna kill you when he sees you, huh?”
Kevin gives a broken smile. “Yeah, right…”
“Look, when he comes, I’ll go out the door first and tell the whole story, then I’ll let him come in and we’ll watch a movie or something. It’ll be fine.” Bruce moves to the sink and wets a washcloth, which he hands to Kevin and gestures at the chocolate stained on his jacket. And that was that.
Then thirty more minutes pass, thirty minutes in which Loki almost forgets he should be very, very scared. He has fun, Bruce brings out a puzzle and they do it slowly, but it’s always in the back of his mind. Bruce is wholly unaffected, which offends Loki a second time. The thirty minutes pass by very mildly, and they’re almost done with the puzzle before someone jiggles the doorknob a few times.
“Bruce! Tis me!” The voice from behind the door exclaims. “It’s your boyfriend! I’m Thor, it’s me!”
Bruce looks with a smile to Loki, and Loki casts a nervous smile back, except he can’t hide his pure fear from Bruce. Bruce pats him on the shoulder and whispers a few words of reassurance, which do absolutely nothing. He gets up to open the door, carefully pushing Thor back as he does so. They exchange a few greetings and probably kiss (which Loki quickly erases from his mind’s eye.) And after that, all the words become muffled and distorted as he goes into panic mode. He has one minute or less to get the hell out of Dodge before his brother murders him along with everyone else in this apartment complex with a lightning storm the likes of which this realm has never seen.
He jumps up and knocks over the puzzle that he and Bruce had worked so hard to finish. But he doesn’t look back, he only looks around wildly before noticing the open window above the kitchen sink. A light breeze ruffles the curtains. Loki jumps up onto the counter and looks down at the ground below. They are on the second-floor, door twelve, and the drop is suddenly not looking very survivable. Maybe if he just landed with-
“Hey, Kevin? We’re coming in now. C’mon, Thor, he’s right inside.” Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck. Loki promptly runs out of time. He turns around just as Thor enters the apartment, and with horror he watches the scene unfold right before him. Within half a second of laying his eyes upon Loki his happy smile turns to a look of anger on a dime. Time seems to slow down as Thor rushes past Bruce, almost shoving him aside as he walks towards his brother.
Okay, now it’s time for plan B: talking his way out of it. As if that would work in any universe. Loki hops off the counter and backs himself into it at the same time. “Look, Thor, I KNOW that-” Thor grabs him by the collar and lifts him two feet off the ground with ease, and that ends plan B.
Bruce exclaims and covers his mouth. “THOR! STOP, TH-”
“Tell me what you are doing here RIGHT NOW or so help me I will call the heavens down upon you.”
Bruce tries again. “Thor, god damn it, stop, that’s Kevin! Jesus fucking Christ are you ins-”
Loki grunts and struggles to get Thor’s hands off his collar, kicking his feet against the counter. “BANNER, BY THE NINE REALMS, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME HANDLE THIS, ALRIGHT? I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH MY OWN FUCKING BROTHER WITHOUT YOUR INPU-” Loki’s screeching is cut off by Thor’s hand covering his mouth.
“What the fu-” Bruce has reached a new level of confusion.
“Bruce, get some rope, right now.” Thor puts Loki in a headlock with his hand still over his mouth, and Loki tries his best to wriggle himself out in vain. His screeching continues, muffled by Thor’s hand, but still just as vile. Bruce does as he’s told immediately, and his face rests with worry as he helps tie Loki’s hands and feet together. At some point along the way, Thor removes his hand, and Loki says nothing, allowing his fate to happen to him. Loki rests with his back leaned against the cabinet, unable to not look extremely pissed at this whole thing, despite it being all his fault. Thor gets a bottle of water from the fridge and sets it just out of reach, and Loki gives his best glare in return.
“I will allow you to have that when you explain yourself truthfully. Be careful, because I will know when you lie, and you also need that water to live, so...” Thor shrugs as he sits down on the floor to be eye-level with his brother and Loki looks away, saying nothing for once in his life.
Bruce sits on the couch in shock, his hand on his forehead in confusion. Thor glances at him with concern before turning back to Loki with a completely neutral expression, which is scarier than any other emotion that could have been displayed. “You upset Bruce, you ruined his day. His week. Was it worth it?” Thor toys with the water bottle and Loki again says nothing. Thor squints. “What did you want out of him? Money?" Loki winces. Well, he can't be blamed for THAT. It was Banner's idea. "Did you want to get to me? Did yo-”
“Nothing, you idiot.” Loki shifts. “I didn’t want anything. And I didn’t get anything either if that was your next question.”
Thor laughs. “Is that really your answer?”
“Yes, it is, and it’s true.” Loki briefly makes eye contact with his brother and looks away again.
“Brother, you don’t do things for nothing. You’ve never done anything for nothing in your entire life.”
A full minute passes of quiet contemplation for all parties until Loki decides to speak. “I woke up four weeks ago at an abandoned train station in Norway with these clothes on,” He smiles. “And you’ll be honored to know that the first person I thought of….was you. I’m not lying and you know it, so shut up.” Thor continues to play with the water bottle, and Loki, for the third time today and not the last, gets offended by this. “Well, you could say thank you.” Thor does not and Loki rolls his eyes.
“Typical. Anyways, then I found your address from a creepy man in Stockholm, so I stowed away on the next boat to New York. This is impressive, by the way. I’m good.” Loki once again pauses for approval but gets none. “And then I found your apartment and I was just gonna wait around until, uh…” Loki looks at his brother. “Something happened. And then something did. Bruce walked out and I was like ‘oh, where are you going?’ and Bruce was like ‘oh, I don’t know you’ and then I...well, that was four days ago, and since then, I’ve kinda been, like….ssssssssleeping here?” Thor stops his fidgeting, and his expression seems to soften, if only by the smallest amount. Bruce groans from the couch, and Thor goes to comfort him. Loki tries not to look. Is Bruce….crying? Oh, this isn’t good. Not at all.
“And what if I believe you, that you had no bad intentions?” Thor says from his place next to Bruce on the couch.
Loki scoffs. “It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, because it’s true. I’m telling the truth for once, can’t you just believe me?”
“If you were telling the truth you’d have told me why you stayed for four days by now. But I haven’t heard that part yet, and I’m waiting. What possible explanation could you have for worming your way into my life for that long could you have? There is a reason for that, and I will know what it is or else.”
Loki squints at nothing as he thinks about the answer. “You want me to say it, but I’m not going to.”
Thor laughs as he rubs Bruce’s back reassuringly. “You have no choice but to say it, brother, unless you want to be turned into the authorities.”
“You’re just going to do that anyways.”
“How do you know?” Loki has no answer for this one. He sneers at the wall. Bruce seems to have calmed down with Thor beside him, but he still has not mustered the will to speak yet.
Loki sighs. “You’re the worst, and I hate you, Thor.” Thor laughs. “I was lonely, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“That’s not what I wanted to hear and you know it.”
Loki sighs even louder and waits about thirty seconds, giving himself time to work through the shame. Still, he speaks quietly and under his breath. “I missed you.”
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound nothing.”
Loki sneers and speaks slightly louder than before. “I missed you.” He’s still drowned out by the static of the quiet room.
“I can’t hear you.”
“I MISSED YOU, IDIOT!” The change in volume makes Bruce jump a bit. Loki blushes. “And I hate you.”
“Say it again without the last part for me please?” Thor’s voice is smug.
“No!” Loki huffs and Thor stares at him, unbroken, until the pressure forces Loki to say it. “I. Missed. You. Idiot.”
Thor smiles at his brother. “There you go. Hey, Bruce?” The man beside him hums in response. “What do you think we should do with him?”
“What?” Bruce seems shocked that he’s the one who was asked.
“Well, he hurt you the most, you should decide his punishment, right?” Thor pats his back and Bruce sighs. Loki broods in his place near the cabinet.
“Thor, I don’t want to decide anything, I’m sorry. I can’t right now. This is too weird.” Bruce rubs his temples. Thor nods in understanding and turns to Loki.
“I’m going to turn you in, brother. Obviously. But…” Thor pauses for effect. “I’ll try to get you in a better prison than normal. And you are, technically, a child, so there are perks that come with that as well.” Thor smiles. “Maybe I’ll even have them put you in one with some visiting hours. If you’re lucky.” Loki examines his brother closely, and his smile doesn’t waver as he turns to Bruce. “Hey, babe, do you think you could call Stark while I watch this one for a bit?” Bruce takes a while before he nods wordlessly and springs up, grabbing his phone and heading for the other room.
“You know what, Loki?
“What?”
“I missed you too, idiot.” The corner of Loki’s lip twitches as he uses every single muscle in his body to keep from smiling. Except that Thor is well-versed in Loki mannerisms, so he knows what that means. And he smiles back.
Bruce grips the phone in one hand and holds his hair back on his forehead with the other. “Hi, Tony-yeah, yeah….I’m good, I guess, yeah. I mean, there is one thing that I wanted to, uh, talk to you about…”