Spider-Man: Ned! Lookie at this adorably puppo i sneaked into the tower!
Spider-Man: wait fuck none of you saw that look away DON'T CLICK
IronPopTartMan: there is a WHAT in the tower!
IronPopTartMan: KID NO GET IT OUT-
Mr.Jesus: what the fuck Spider-Man is a kid-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: LOOK AT THAT BABY FACE-
SheBeSneaky: the dog is cute
CaptainRighteous: Jesus christ how old are you kid?
Spider-Man: ... i'm 22
CaptainRighteous: Try again
Spider-Man: fine, i'm 15 years old
MischievousSnek: HAHA, I FUCKING CALLED IT, SUCK IT MORTALS.
PopTartLover: BROTHER, NOT NOW
CaptainRighteous: Kid, your way to young to be doing any of this, Tony, what were you THINKING bringing him in the middle of a CIVIL WAR!?
IronPopTartMan: remember what happened LAST time I took away the suit? we discussed this literally a day ago, nothing stops this kid, might as well prepare him for everything. you should have seen his old suit-
CaptainRighteous: ... I suppose you have a point there
Mr.Jesus: hypocrite
CaptainRighteous: Look, I wasn't 15 YEARS OLD when I joined the war Bucky!
Mr.Jesus: whatever
Spider-Man: look, i know you guys will probably try and stop me from doing this or give me less dangerous jobs or whatever, but no matter what you do i won't stop being spider-man. i have the power to help people, therefor i have the responsibility to do so as well
CaptainRighteous: No one should have that much responsibility weighed on their shoulders kid, especially not a teenager, you need to be out there with your friends, having fun and getting good grades and hanging out with your family
Spider-Man: i already get good grades, and aunt May clearly stated that if my grades slip because of spider-man then i'm grounded. i have straight A's. as for family that's none of your business, and for friends i do my best to spend my free time with them, but it's my life therefore what i do with it is my decision, and just because i'm a teenager doesn't mean you should be taking reigns of it
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: TOLD
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: anyways, kid, i have kids of my own and well, if i learned they were doing this super hero business i wouldn't be that happy either... because in my opinion, no kid should have this burden, or live through the things we've lived through, or that you've lived through. you should just enjoy being a kid
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: but, i also know that i can't stop you, if anything that Tony has told us is enough proof
Mr.Jesus: not only that, but we reassured you that if you were to share your identity with us, it would be safe with us, and it still stands, so i don't think any of us have a right to pull you away from this.
CaptainRighteous: Well, that seems to settle that-
IronPopTartMan: okay now that all of you have come to terms with the fact that Spider-Man is 15 years old *^@%# OPEN THE DOOR
Spider-Man: ONLY IF YOU PROMISE THE DOG CAN STAY
IronPopTartMan: NO
Spider-Man: I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM
IronPopTartMan: NO, JUST COME OUT KID-
Spider-Man: PLEASE LET ME KEEP HIM
IronPopTartMan: ... FINE
Spider-Man: OMGOMGOMG THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Mr.Jesus: one can only be so strong when facing spider-kid
CoolScienceBro: This all escalated quickly-
FalconsAreCool: is no one gonna mention that stark just let a DOG stay in the tower?
FalconsAreCool: Now that I think about it, Bruce, why weren't you surprised by Spider-Man's age?
CoolScienceBro: Because I already knew
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: W H A T
CoolScienceBro: The kid gets injured so often, and Tony trusted me enough to not reveal his identity or his age, so i haven't
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: wait, so you know his name as well?
CoolScienceBro: Yes, and I don't plan on sharing it
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: god dammit
CaptainRighteous: Language
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: teenagers tend to swear more than adults it's fine- even then, we've been swearing in this chat before we knew his age, so it doesn't matter.
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKER: ALSO, IN REAL LIFE YOU SWEAR LIKE A SAILOR WHEN YOU THINK ONE OF US ISN'T AROUND
CaptainRighteous: Point taken
CaptainRighteous: AND DON'T EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS CLINT
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Benedict
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Robert
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Chris
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Tom
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Jeremy
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: come on you have to admit Jeremy is a cool name
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Stan
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Sebastian
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Anthony
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Chris
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: wait i already said that, we don't need 2 Chris's if i already said it once
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Mark
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Don
CAWCAWMOHERFUCKERS: Chadwick
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Andrew
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Tobey
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Tom
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: wait i said that one as well
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Chris, WAIT NO FUCK NOT AGAIN-
IronPopTartMan: WILL YOU STOP IT WITH GUESSING HIS NAME?! YOUR SPAMMING THE NOTIFICATIONS-
IronPopTartMan: I TURN AWAY FOR 1 MINUTE AND I SEE 19+ NOTIFICATIONS ALL FROM YOU-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: NEVER
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Eddie
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: wait are you possibly sharing a name with someone we know?
Spider-Man: i mean, technically? i think?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: hints?
Spider-Man: he lives in space, ish?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Gamora?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Rocket?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: Groot?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: &*@^#
Mr.Jesus: holy fucking shit you figured out his name-
CaptainRighteous: What is it?
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: & * @ # $ !!!!!!!!!
IronPopTartMan: kid in any second he will be running down the corridors screaming your name, so for both our sake just turn off the safety measure-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: P
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: E
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: T
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: E
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: R
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: THANK FUCK FINALLY-
MischievousSnek: congratulations, you have achieved the impossible
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i can FELL the sarcasm in the reply wow-
Spider-Man: fine, gimme a second
Spider-Man: okay so i'll introduce myself once more. i'm peter parker, nice to meet you guys!
SheBeSneaky: Say that when we actually see you face to face later
Spider-Man: ok-
CoolScienceBro: Speaking of names, what are you gonna name the dog?
Spider-Man: i don't know? i have two names in mind right now but i'm hesitating on which one i should choose.
CoolScienceBro: Oh yeah? Mind sharing them with us?
Spider-Man: Gwen is a name i'm considering... Tess also seems like a good name.
Spider-Man: well i guess that answers that- i just called her Tess and her head snapped up so fast i'm surprised she doesn't have whip-lash
Spider-Man: ha... how ironic is that?
Mr.Jesus: What's ironic?
Spider-Man: nothing
IronPopTartMan: so peter, we need to go shopping tomorrow for your new dog, get some food, as leash and toys and stuff
Spider-Man: okay! what will she eat today though?
IronPopTartMan: just like, give her a little bit of left over chicken?
Spider-Man: sure! thank you mr.stark!
IronPopTartMan: your welcome kid
CaptainRighteous: Now that I think about it, Tony, how and why does the kid live here?
IronPopTartMan: can i tell him peter?
Spider-Man: sure!
IronPopTartMan: well, his aunt had to move away for work reasons and asked if we can have shared custody over peter since he wanted to stay at his current high-school, and where his aunt was moving was to far away. the kid already had a room here since he came every other weekend to sleep-over to help around a bit.
CaptainRighteous: Okay then, that explains it- Just making sure you didn't kidnap the kid because you liked him so much
Mr.Jesus: i'd kidnap the kid to
MischievousSnek: count me in as well
CaptainRighteous: Guys no-
CaptainRighteous: Oh my god.
Mr.Jesus: what?
CaptainRighteous: I dropped an airport beam on a 15 year old kid, stared him right in the eye, said he has heart to him, then i asked where he lives and then JOGGED AWAY
CaptainRighteous: Who does that?!
Mr.Jesus: yeah, well a 15 year old kid was able to stop a punch from my metal arm
FalconsAreCool: And was able to tie the both of us to the floor-
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: and he stole your shield-
CaptainRighteous: A 15 YEAR OLD STOLE MY SHIELD
IronPopTartMan: and a 15 year old was able to hack into the multi-million dollar suit i made, join the club.
CoolScienceBro: What club?
IronPopTartMan: the " Peter Is Better Than All Of Us Combined " club
Mr.Jesus: ...
CAWCAWMOTHERFUCKERS: i mean, he has a point-
FalconsAreCool: omg no-