Chapter 12
Steve listened anxiously as Natasha attempted to revive Bucky. He’d heard the crash, not knowing what had caused it until he heard Natasha’s panicked voice over the phone. He was praying Bucky would be alright- after all it was his fault for calling Bucky and teasing him. He honestly didn’t mean for this to happen. He thought it was a harmless prank, leading Bucky to believe he was using his own phone. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Steve had to smile. Bucky was actually really adorable when he was drunk. Sort of like an overexcited puppy, but way stupider.
He stopped himself thinking about how cute Bucky was to focus on the situation at hand. Natasha seemed to be rousing Bucky, finally. It couldn’t have been more than two minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Steve scrubbed a hand down his face and contemplated whether it was worth making the journey to see Bucky. Nat seemed to have it covered, but Steve wasn’t really in a position to think logically. He knew him and Bucky were nothing more than friends, but he felt so protective of the other man. It clouded his judgement enough to make him believe going to see Bucky was a fantastic idea.
It wasn’t until he was walking out of his apartment building’s lobby that he realised it might be slightly weird to just turn up in the middle of the night because his friend (who was with his closest friends anyway) had knocked himself out. He shook off that thought, distracted because Jesus Christ it was cold. He’d bundled up, but he could still feel the wind rattling his bones. It was gonna be a long walk to the subway. He always moved slower when he was basically freezing to death.
That thought was almost enough to make Steve turn right back round and bury himself in bed. It was only the image of Bucky, passed out with a substantial head wound that made him brave the cold.
The journey wasn’t as bad as Steve feared. The subway was pretty empty for that late at night, just a few homeless people and a couple of students on their way back from a night out. He made it to Bucky’s house quicker than he expected, walking quickly up the stairs to the apartment. He would’ve run, but his asthma was already aggravated from the cold. He didn’t want Natasha and her husband to have two incapacitated people on their hands.
He reached Bucky's apartment and hesitated before knocking twice on the door. A few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Clint, looking worried but calmer than Steve. He stood to one side and waved an arm to the living room, not even questioning why Steve was there. Steve nodded at him gratefully and rushed in.
He stopped in the doorway, watching as Natasha splashed cold water on Bucky’s face. He winced at Bucky’s sputtering, but breathed a quiet sigh of relief as Bucky’s eyes opened. They were unfocused, looking far into the distance, and he muttered something that made Natasha tense. She said his name sharply, and Bucky’s eyes cleared, his hands shaking as he looked around the room.
Steve stood awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt out of place, like he’d intruded on something he shouldn’t have seen. Bucky looked at him, his face showing confusion. Steve opened his mouth to explain why he was there when Bucky turned to Nat. “Who’s that? And why’s he in our flat?” Steve’s stomach dropped. He’d given Bucky amnesia. It was all his fault. He started to panic, his breaths coming shorter. He needed his inhaler. He reached into his pocket and took a puff, breathing deeply and willing himself not to start panicking for real.
Nat looked at Bucky, “James, this is your apartment. I moved out years ago when me and Clint got married. That’s Steve. He’s here to make sure you’re alright. You hit your head pretty hard. So hard you got amnesia, apparently.” Natasha looked like she was trying to hide a smirk, and she glanced at Steve. Her face immediately dropped when she saw the inhaler Steve was gripping tightly. “James. Stop it now.” Bucky looked at her and followed her gaze to where Steve was trying so hard not to cry. Or scream.
“Hey, hey Stevie, it’s okay. I’m joking. It was a terrible joke, I know, I’m so sorry. Jeez, I didn’t mean to scare you. I remember you, I promise. Oh god, I’m sorry.” Bucky had started to ramble, but all Steve could register was that he was joking. Bucky remembered him. Steve tried not to get angry and it was easier than he thought, especially when Bucky looked so desperately sorry. He shrugged and tried to smile, but it felt wobbly. Bucky’s face got even sadder and he smacked himself in the face with his metal hand. Steve made an aborted move towards him but Natasha sighed and grabbed the hand.
“Buck, it’s okay, but please never do that again. You terrified the shit outta me. I thought- I thought you’d lost your memory and it was all my fault. I’m really sorry I made you knock yourself out.” Steve laughed awkwardly, and Bucky smiled so brightly Steve got whiplash. He smiled back awkwardly and stepped into the room, settling comfortably on the sofa. “I am so sorry.” he blurted, pushing his glasses back up his nose and staring at Bucky earnestly.
“Steve, please don’t worry about it. I am so embarrassed by it all that I’d rather just forget it even happened.” Steve winced at the mention of Bucky forgetting, and Bucky looked suitably ashamed, “I can’t believe I was so stupid!” Bucky rubbed his lips nervously and huffed. Steve absolutely did not stare at his mouth. “Besides, it wasn’t your fault at all. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for my shoddy craftsmanship and big feet.” He gestured at the splintered coffee table. Beside him, Natasha snorted and rolled her eyes. “Okay maybe it was a little bit Nat’s fault as well for winding me up when I was inebriated.”
“Oh no, you do not get to blame me. I didn’t even record it, so I’m the least at fault here.” Steve looked at Nat in confusion. How did her lack of recording make her immediately absolved from blame? To his surprise, Bucky conceded her point and glared at his feet, clearly angry at their betrayal.
“I’m still really sorry. How’s your head feel?” Steve had to physically restrain himself from standing over Bucky and cradling his head. Bad enough he’d turned up for no particular reason, he didn’t want to go full creep on the poor guy.
“Hurts, but I’ve definitely had worse.” Bucky grinned crookedly, flexing his left arm. Steve could feel a smile tugging at his lips. Trust Bucky to crack a joke so soon after being unconscious. “It’s not bleeding, right?”
Against his better judgement, Steve stood in front of Bucky to prod at his head, “nah, you’re fine. Head’s a bit of a weird shape now though. Like you’ve got a golf ball under your skin.” Bucky snorted and Steve grinned, “I mean, I don’t really know. Your head could’ve been like that before. Haven’t really paid much attention.” Steve let the lie roll off his tongue smoothly. He had been paying way too much attention to Bucky’s head. And his face. And everything else.
“You punk. I’ll have you know everything about me is perfect.” Bucky shot a breathtaking smile at Steve, and he couldn’t help but agree with that statement.
“Sure, jerk. If you wanna keep believing that, be my guest.” he laughed at Bucky’s affronted look and ducked out of the way as Bucky swiped at him. “Hey, none of that, you’ve already knocked yourself out, you don’t need to pass on the experience.” Steve smirked as Bucky glared at him.
“Boys, please behave yourselves” came Natasha’s voice from the floor. She was sat cross legged, watching them with interest. Steve’s cheeks heated with embarrassment at the witness to his inept attempt to flirt. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious.
“Steve started it.” Bucky replied petulantly. Sure enough, when Steve looked over at him, he had his arms folded defensively over his chest and a childish pout on his face. It was sort of endearing, despite the fact he’d just thrown Steve to the sharks.
“What’s going on?” Clint walked into the living room with a tray of coffee. He gave the mugs out and flopped next to Natasha on the floor. Bucky immediately started signing to Clint, having passed his mug to Steve. Clint nodded with a barely concealed smile, his eyes flicking to Steve. Wanting to know what Bucky was talking about, Steve watched Bucky’s hands move, wondering if Bucky even remembered that Steve knew ASL.
‘...Oh my god he’s so pretty. Look at him, Clint. His smile makes me want to cry. He’s funny and kind and a bit of a little shit, but he’s so charming. I want…’ Steve turned away, barely hiding the exhilarated smile threatening to take over his face. His cheeks burned with embarrassment and it took all of his strength to not just kiss Bucky’s stupid face. He wanted to play this cool. Or as cool as someone like Steve could get. Bucky didn’t know that Steve knew, and he was going to use this to his full advantage. Yes, he was a little shit, but after the stunt Bucky pulled, he felt it was necessary to have a bit of fun with him. He didn’t want to be rushing into anything, and now that he knew his feelings were reciprocated, it made it easier to relax about the whole thing. Steve smiled as he started to formulate a plan. He cleared his throat, but neither Bucky nor Clint heard him. Natasha, however, looked over at him and smirked as she realised what was going on. Steve held a finger to his lips and Natasha winked at him conspiratorially.