Chapter 5
If you told Buck three years ago he'd be in a two-year-long relationship by the time he was twenty-nine, he would've laughed in your face. four years ago, Buck met his future soulmate, even if they weren't dating. The man he knew he wanted to marry, the man he wanted to grow old with, the man he wanted to raise their son together and watch him grow older. Edmundo Diaz was his past, present, and future. Three times he was sure he met his actual soulmate: Abby Clark, Ali Martin, and Taylor Kelly. All three times he had been wrong. Abby Clark had gone to Europe, wanting the Eat, Pray, Love experience; almost three years later, she comes back to L.A, engaged. Ali Martin, a business woman he met while saving her from the eleventh floor of a hotel after an earthquake; she broke up with him because she didn't like the risks of him being a firefighter. And Taylor Kelly, a news reporter he had saved from her helicopter after it crashed; Buck breaks up with her after realizing he's not happy. Three heartbreaks that hurt him, one love that healed him. Through thick and thin, Eddie has been there for him.
1. Abby Clark
Mixed emotions swirled in Buck's stomach, and then the words Abby said swung at him, reality punching him in the face, hard. My fiance! Almost three years with no contact, no proper break-up, and pain - so much pain -, when she shows back up, she's engaged. Buck took a quick glance at Eddie, who was standing still, a look of guilt plastered on his face. "He fell asleep, and I went to the bar," she sobbed. Buck was frozen in his spot, mouth open, and everything tuned out. Eddie asked her something, something he couldn't make out. Abby replied, new tears streaming down her face as she pointed to a train car. Eddie turned and walked away, most likely going to find him.
Buck licked his lip nervously, before saying, "We'll find him." he turned and took a step forward before turning around. "Uh." he paused, his tongue running across his lips again. "what's his name?" the question was simple, so why did it still hurt?
"Sam" Abby responded, mascara running down her face. She gave Buck the last name and all Buck can do is promise her he would find him. He turned around and ran to the train car they were in
Later that night - early morning - Buck spent his off time sobbing in Eddie's arms. He wasn't upset that Abby was engaged, in fact, he didn't know why he was crying. The following day, Buck decided it was due to pent up emotions that were let free when he and his former girlfriend met again.
2. Ali Martin
"I'm saying I don't know if I can be with you anymore," Ali shouts. Buck could feel his heart shatter, the tiny shards dropping to the floor covered in blood.
"What?" he whispered.
"You were crushed by a ladder truck, and you still want to go back! You could be seriously injured again. I know you thought about how you felt, obviously, but did you think about how I felt?" This sent the anger that was pooling in his stomach to the surface. Her words sent his mind spiraling in flashbacks. The pain, the lights, the feeling of giving up...
"It's my job!" he snarled, setting everything quiet, and he saw Ali flinch slightly. "It's the one thing that's keeping me going - fighting. And you obviously can't respect that," Buck crossed his arms over his chest and stepped back until he was at the fridge. "I'm not going to change the one thing I like because somebody asked me to. I hope you can respect that. Please leave, I'll gather your items and you can come by tomorrow and pick them up. Have a nice life, Ali. It was fun while it lasted," Buck's tone had gone back to calm, but his heart was still shattered. Something that would go away, right? Ali gathered her coat, keys, and phone, and with one last glance, she left.
This was how all relationships ended. Nothing was new. Except for his crush on his best friend. Buck's been in the closet since he was thirteen. He didn't know if his parents were homophobic, but he was sure they hated him enough, so he didn't risk it. Even now at almost twenty-seven, he was still scared. Still, he asked Eddie to come over for beers, knowing that Chris was at his Abuela's house. Eddie agreed and ten minutes later, Eddie was standing in Buck's living room, watching the latter with soft eyes.
3. Taylor Kelly
Buck wasn't sure what had happened with Taylor, but it wasn't what he was expecting. Their date night had been going great, then they got home, and something switched inside Taylor. She dropped their linked hands with a sound of disgust, but Buck was used to it. And he was ninety-nine percent sure she secretly hated him, that their entire 'relationship' was just sex and lies. Buck knew they weren't going to last very long - he gave it six months at most. Taylor wasn't willing to put herself out there, and Buck was looking for a real relationship, someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Taylor walked into his kitchen and grabbed a cup.
"I don't get why you agreed to be in this relationship if the whole thing was going to be fake," said Buck. Taylor spun around from where she was about to fill her glass with water.
"Excuse me?" she said, her voice sharp. There's a certain glint in her eyes that has Buck knowing this isn't going to end well and that things were about to get loud.
Buck pauses and searches for the right thing to say. Of course there's a lot of things he'd like to say to her, but Maddie raised him better than that. "Why do you stay 'with me' if you can't stand to even look at me for too long?" Buck knows he said it a bit harsher than he meant to.
Taylor set down the cup and glared at Buck. "You knew I'm not ready for a serious relationship, Buck. I thought you respected that." Taylor's plump pink lips set in a slight frown. Buck was aware that she was going to turn this on him, and he wasn't going to feel guilty. "Am I not enough for you?"
Buck took a deep breath. "You're enough for someone, and you were enough for me, but I'm ready for an actual relationship. I'm sorry, Taylor...I'm just not happy in whatever this is." By now, Taylor had somehow managed to get tears to gather in her eyes, and Buck is surprised. He knows that if he didn't know her better, he would instantly feel guilty and pull back from his decision, but he holds his ground and crosses his arms over his broad chest.
"So you're breaking up with me?" Taylor's voice cracked and a few tears ran down her cheeks, messing up her perfectly applied mascara. And, of course, she pulls the classic "I thought you loved me," act and Buck snaps.
"I did!" he growled. "Stop making me seem like I'm the bad guy. You don't even like me. Why the fuck are you so hellbent on staying together?" Taylor's face dropped to her normal face, a smile forming on her mouth.
"I'll go," she said, gathering the items she brought. Taylor turned toward him again and said, "It was cool while it lasted," and then she left. Buck sighed, his tense posture relaxing. Their entire relationship had felt fake - it was fake, unreal. Because Taylor never loved him. And he never loved her. Maybe that's a shitty thing to admit, sure, but he was an honest person, one to always speak his mind.
Buck called Eddie over that night, the events of earlier forgotten. That's how it was with Eddie. Just him being there made Buck instantly feel better. Alcohol and major crushes together in a room was never a good idea. One thing led to another and the night fell into morning with the two men sweaty and plastered to each other, foreheads met together with wide, genuine smiles on both faces.
+1. Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz
Buck was laying on the couch with Eddie sprawled out on top of him when he realized. This, right here, was what love feels like. When you can't ever take your eyes off them, when your heart jumps every time you see them. When you feel a part of you break when the other gets hurt. When you could have entire conversations and never get bored; when a simple glance to the other means so little to the rest of the world, but so much to you guys.
The day Buck and Eddie got together officially, the day was filled with every emotion. And they expressed those feelings. Because that's how you survive: showing and feeling emotion. Every day since then has felt like a dream, like Eddie isn't real and Buck's going to wake up alone in his bed. But her never has. Eddie's the piece he had been looking for.
Eddie shifted slightly on top of Buck, bringing the man out of his mind. "I can hear you thinking, baby. What's up?" Eddie asked, bringing a hand up to comb through his lover's hair. Buck leaned into the gentle touch, his brain going hazy as Eddie placed soft kisses along his jaw.
"Just thinking about how love is supposed to feel like," Buck responded, the hand on Eddie's back scratching lightly at the clothed skin.
"How's it supposed to feel like?" Buck could hear uncertainty in Eddie's voice.
"This. Me and you, what we're doing. That's how love feels like. You're my soulmate, Eddie. The person I want to marry and raise kids with, the one I want to grow old with together. You, Edmundo Diaz, are my lifeline." Buck whispered, planting a small kiss to Eddie's head. Buck felt Eddie nuzzle his face in his neck and Buck couldn't help but smile. "I love you so much,"
"I love you too," Eddie responded, voice muffled in Buck's neck. Buck brought both his hands to Eddie's sides and flipped them over, Buck straddling Eddie's upper thighs. Eddie let out sweet sounds of laughter as Buck began kissing him all over, soon opting for tickling mercilessly. Eddie curled himself up as his boyfriend moved down from his waist to the back of his knees. Buck finally stopped and let himself and Eddie calm down from the laughter. "What?" Eddie choked out after a laugh.
"Marry me," Buck said. Eddie gasped, his hand flying to his mouth. "I'm being serious, Eddie. I-I have a ring in the dresser. I want to be your husband." Tears were flowing from both men's eyes. Eddie slipped his arms around Buck's neck and pulled them flush against each other. "I know I thought that some other people were my soulmate, but they're not. Not one thought was even close. You have owned my heart since the moment you arrived, and-and you were pulling on that stupid shirt, showing off your body-"
"I was not!"
"-Eddie, it doesn't have to be a huge wedding - inflation and all - just-" Eddie cut him off with a kiss.
"Stop talking, my love, you're ruining the moment. Yes, Evan, I will marry you!" says Eddie, a tear rolling down his cheek and landing on Buck's temple. The smile on Buck's face grew, hot tears of his own rolling down his cheek, leaving a streak along with it."God, Evan, I love you so much!"
Buck laughed and kissed Eddie. "I love you too."