Broken
Dex moved the window of his apartment upward and crawled inside.
He had taken the fire escape stairs outside to prevent anyone seeing him in the suit.
The whispers were battling inside of him, all trying to find their way to him in the fog of his mind.
The screaming of people echoed through it, chasing him in the darkness.
Who are you ? The man who had tried to stop him, asked him. He knew who it was.
Felix Manning had warned him Daredevil could show up at the bulletin. It hadn’t stopped him from going, in fact he had wanted Daredevil to show, to make him suffer as he had and Fisk had a plan to cause just that.
The sound of the gunshot, deafening him as it past through his mind again.
He took the helmet off and placed it on his kitchen counter, his hands were shaking.
Dex knew there was a chance he would show up. What Dex didn’t expected was that you would be there.
Dex ..?
When he had heard your voice the air was punched out of his chest as he realised who he was aiming at.
The memory of your face when you turned around to face him, your head bleeding. The way you were trembling as you looked at him.
The feeling of your fingers, warm, against his face. You had reached for him when he was aiming his gun at you.
Why? Why did you do that ? He meant nothing to you, he was Daredevil’s enemy, why would you reach for him?
When you had stepped closer, he noticed the small golden star dangling around your neck, it was then that he had lowered his gun.
My Dex..
Your words echoed through his mind, drowning all the other voices that were trying to reach him.
Dex’s mind was racing, racing to outrun the fog in his mind. Desperatly trying to find clarity and his grasp on reality.
He moved his hands to his head as the humming in his ears had become deafening. He sunk to his knees as the sound continued, sinking away in the mist that was floating through his mind. The mist that prevented him to think clearly.
When he saw you at the New York Bulletin, your were a beacon of light that was guiding him through the mist that had taken over his mind and senses. Only for a moment he was able to take hold of his thoughts after feeling detached from himself. You were his lighthouse in a sea of darkness.
His northstar.
He sat with his back against his kichen counter, trembling as he found it hard to breath right.
Fisk had said you would never accept him.
That you would abandon him.
But you didn’t run from him, instead he saw how you moved closer to him and how your fingers softly touched him the way they always had.
He had beaten Daredevil, he had killed while you were there so close to him and you still looked at him with the same kindness in your eyes that you had always shown him.
Dex was a grenade ready to explode, you were his lost safety pin.
My Dex.. your words played around in the fog, leaving a trail of light.
He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
———— ————— ——————– —————— ———– ————-
You and Matt were able to reach the church unnoticed, his clothes were covered in blood. Cuts and bruises were all over him.
He was clearly upset while he was explaining what had happened to Sister Maggie at the bulletin.
You hadn’t stopped shaking, not for a moment.
This was the last thing you expected that would happen. It all clicked into place. They stole your phone so Dex could not reach you. The way Fisk suddenly decided you were better off dead.
He had found someone else for the job, Dex. Fisk had pulled the strings on Dex, he took away his job and he made him believe you were gone.
Fisk had used your connection to Matt to turn Dex into his weapon.
You were hugging yourself, as a way to keep yourself from falling apart, like you were on the inside.
Matt was pressing a cloth, Sister Maggie had given him, against the wound the scissors had left in his shoulder “You’re missing the point. He didn’t just find someone to wear my suit. He found someone as fast and skilled as I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t take him.”
You blinked your eyes faster, trying to prevent a tear from falling.
Matt had lost his composure as he spoke to Sister Maggie, he was in shock “He found someone to kill me.”
You covered your mouth with your hand, hiding your lips as they quivered.
Sister Maggie tried to remain calm as she spoke to him “Matthew…”
Matt wiped some blood of his nose “I was stupid enough to think that I had Fisk cornered. He knew i’d find the witness, and I just brought the sheep to slaughter. Jasper Evans is dead. He’s dead and he leaves a son behind, and that’s on me!”
“Matt…” you wanted to tell him to let Sister Maggie stitch him up before he loses more blood.
“I was so sure that I finally was out in front of this bastard. And Fisk, he knew I thought that. He was waiting for me.”
“Matthew-” she wanted to interupt him.
He ignored her attempts “Foggy and Karen, both of them could’ve been killed.” he exhaled “(y/n) could have been killed and there would have been nothing I could have done to stop it. Nothing.”
“You’re losing blood, I need to stitch you up.” she pleaded with him.
“I listened to you. I listened to you, and they almost died. God damn it. I’m such an idiot.”
You shook your head “No, this wasn’t her fault.” your voice was quiet.
He leaned against the wall and sighed in defeat “You’re right, it was mine.”
“No! It’s mine!” it came out louder then you intended and Matt fell silent. "I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have told him the truth.”
“What do you mean? Told who the truth? what truth, (y/n)? ”
“I know him, Matt.” you were holding your head with your hands as you started to break down “I know him..”
Matt stepped to you and Sister Maggie looked at you questioning “(y/n), Know who?”
It took a lot to form words at this point “The one who attacked the bulletin. The man in your suit. His name is Dex. We worked together in the FBI.”
Matt nodded “You mentioned him on the phone once. I still don’t understand why what happened at the bulletin is your fault.”
You took a deep breath between your sobs “Fisk is using him, Matt. And it’s all my fault, if I had been honest to him, just told him everything, this would have never happened. Fisk must have told him about you. About me knowing you. That’s why he took my phone so Dex couldn’t reach me. He made him believe I abandoned him or even used him. I have to help him, Matt, I have to get him out of Fisk’s grasp.” you pleaded.
“Help him?! (y/n), he’s a killer. He almost killed me !”
You exhaled shortly “He’s my friend.”
“He’s a murderer !” Matt raised his voice, his anger clear now.
“So was Elektra, Matt ! I didn’t stop you from loving her !” You said it harsher than you wanted.
Silence fell between you, Matt only shook his head.
“You love him..” he wasn’t asking, it was a statement. “The guy.. the one you were seeing, that’s him?”
Your hand covered your mouth, there was no denying it.
Matt scoffed as he took a step away from you “How can you be sure he hasn’t been working for Fisk all this time?” both pain and anger in his voice.
“I just know. I know Dex, Matt. He hated Fisk. Fisk wanted me killed so he could turn Dex into his weapon, none of this would have hapened if I had been there for Dex. Fisk broke him, Matt. He took everything away from him and then he threw a lifeline.”
“Perhaps you didn’t want to see that he works for Fisk.” Matt snapped at you.
You glared at him wishing he could see it
“Oh yeah, of course. I must have been blinded by love, like I have been before. Remember, Matt?”
Matt was quiet after he heard you say that.
You sighed “I’m sorry..”
He shook his hand “No. I am. I’m sorry.”
"I know him, Matt. I know that Fisk wanted to replace me as his North Star. That’s why he took my phone and that’s why he tried to have me killed. Dex would have never done any of this if Fisk hadn’t done all those things.” A tear fell done your cheek again “I promised him I would be there for him and I was not. I have to help him, Matt, please. I can’t lose him. Not him. You gave me a chance once, I only want to give Dex the same chance.”
Matt didn’t say anything for a while and Sister Maggie walked over to him to treat his wounds.
You sat down, waiting for him to say something.
“How do you know he will even listen to you, Fisk could have turned him against you as well.” he broke the silence.
“He could have killed me at the bulletin, he didn’t. I was right in front of him, Matt.” you stated.
He sighed “Do you know someone who might have his number?”
“Only some people in the FBI have it I believe.” you thought for a moment “Nadeem.. he has to have Dex’s number.”
“Great.” Matt winced when Sister Maggie desinfected the wound. “I guess I’ll be making a house call to Nadeem then.”
Your eyes shot up to look at him “You would do that ?”
He nodded to you “I’ll ask Nadeem. But you stay here, I don’t want you anywhere near the FBI right now. Deal?”
You stood as you looked at him hopeful “Deal."