Kate opens the door to her apartment and throws her keys across the table where they land next to her security badge with practiced precision.
Truth be told, she had most certainly rehearsed the move more times than she dared to admit.
The move had lost its amusement, but not it's sense of achievement. Which is why she could never understand that whenever Lucy had tried to complete the same move and her keys flew off the side of the table, she didn't pick them up and try again until she achieved success. Instead, she would ignore it until the next morning with an inevitable 'Babe, have you seen my keys?'
Kate missed it. For four months, she missed telling Lucy exactly where her keys were.
Today wasn't any different. Keys now on the table, the bittersweet feeling in her chest settles with a mix of achievement and sadness. The sadness diminished over time as new routines became old routines, but it was still there.
She felt selfish whenever there was sadness. She didn’t even cry when saying goodbye on the dock as Lucy kissed her, her last kiss. Maybe one or two slipped down her cheek to be thumbed away by Lucy as she looked into her eyes. It could have been sad, but she wanted Lucy to be filled with excitement and didn’t want any tears to taint the occasion. She hadn't shed a tear since that day on the beach.
Correction, she hadn't shed a tear in front of anyone. After the goodbye, there were tears on the drive home. She even turned the mirror away from reflecting back any of the pity that she felt for herself. Some nights in those few months, there had been tears as she held onto Lucy's pillow, and placed a hand over the space where she should be laying.
Four months is long enough to miss someone, but long enough to get used to missing them. Kate fell into a routine of distraction. Days filled with work, gym, even the grocery runs become smaller so that she could make more trips during the week. All in an attempt to make to long weeks pass quicker.
Today was the same but different. One more day, and Lucy would be home.
Keys on the table after a morning run.
All she can think of is that she needs to hydrate before she can even think about what breakfast was going to look like.
There was something sinful about drinking juice straight from the bottle. It was something she would have never done but since meeting Lucy, there was so much yin to her yang. Traces of Lucy were all over her apartment, her energy was still there even if she wasn't. Sometimes you just gotta go balls to the wall, piss into the wind, bacterial introduction with the risk of multiplication and subsequent ingestion be damned... so you drink the damn juice from the damn bottle.
She takes a swig, but she hears a noise when there shouldn’t be one.
A weapon. Fuck... knives packed away… frying pan is going to have to do.
Announce your presence. Give your command loud and clear.
Check your blind spot… check your blind spots… check your blind spots…
Adrenaline courses through her body as Kate steps cautiously towards the bedroom.
‘Hey whoever's in there, come out right now.’
And she walks out of the room.
Is this a dream?
She's standing there in front of her, thousand-watt smile beaming from her face. She smiles like the sun and Kate feels like she’s staring into her, her eyes unblinking.
‘Hi...’
That laugh.
‘You're home…’ was all Kate managed as her brain fails to comprehend that her girlfriend is standing before her and that she’s still standing there in the same position, frying pan in hand. Kate is standing there stunned, disbelief that Lucy is standing there in the home that they now share, and Lucy is more beautiful than she remembers.
‘Yeah I couldn't wait any longer... And I really wanna hug you but you're still holding this-‘
That laugh again.
‘Oh right! Oh my gosh!!’
Their bodies come together, arms around each other and they’re holding on like there is no more time to lose with frying pans and OJ, the deck phones can be tossed overboard for all they care.
Kate is kissing her, her hand is on Lucy’s neck which then drags softly down its length, her thumb caressing the skin that is softer than she remembers, then her hands are on her shoulders pulling her in. Then she feels Lucy’s hands on her sweaty neck and-
Ew! no I'm so gross!! Kate breaks the kiss and cringes away.
‘Mmm... no! I'm sorry, I'm so gross right now...’
‘You're perfect.’
Lucy means those words. Just like she meant it when she said that she would miss Kate as they sat on the beach four months ago. Or when she stood in the darkness of an almost empty bullpen and told Kate that she loved her with tears in her eyes. All true words, but this one means the most right now. Kate was here in the flesh, and sweat, and touch, smell and taste that was all distinctly Kate. Of course it was perfect. It was everything that Lucy needed to have all at once.
Kate instantly forgets her perspiration and smiles into another kiss. The assurance she needed to remember all those times Lucy had kissed her sweaty body, completely unperturbed, sometimes hungrily. After a run or workout, before, during and after sex.
Lucy can taste the sweetness on Kate’s lips. It’s familiar, but not Kate and she smiles knowingly as the citrus tang tickles her tongue.
‘Except I'm pretty sure you drank that OJ straight from the bottle.’
Their fingers twine and there’s a shyness to getting caught. Kate is coy, breaking her own rule, but she knows that Lucy would never think any less of her and she brings their hands towards her chest. She could lean down and kiss them, each knuckle, they were so close.
Instead she looks off into the distance briefly, then back at the woman before her. ‘In my defence, you weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow.’
‘I moved my travel orders up. It only took three requests, two informal, one formal… uh… eight emails and one very long phone call.’
Kate drops her voice at the effort Lucy put into coming home a day early. Lucy, the woman allergic to red tape. It was everything that Kate represented in the earlier antagonistic phase of their relationship, so to hear that Lucy willingly endured all of that just for one day made her heart skip beats.
‘That is a lot of red tape to cut through…’ Kate’s voice drops with a heat that builds, maybe in the jest of their running joke, maybe it really does do something to her.
Lucy recognises it. ‘Is that turning you on right now?’ She bites her tongue between her teeth, then her lip. The timbre of her voice really does something to her.
‘Just a little bit…’ It’s more than a little bit and Lucy knows. It’s in her voice. It’s in the kiss that follows. It sears, and the intensity is a little too much, too soon. They have to pull back but their eyes remain shut, faces close, their noses almost graze, sharing the same air. The expanse of air that separated them for so long was never necessary to sustain them.
Lucy is comfortable. She’s thinking of her love as she touches Kate’s jaw gently, an unconscious note to be replaced by her lips, soon. She’s so comfortable that her mind wanders.
‘Do you think everyone else will be just as surprised to see me?’
Kate is caught off-guard. ‘Uh, surprised?’
‘I mean, you came at me with cookware…’
Kate remembers as Lucy runs her hands down her shoulders. A momentary panic hides behind the truth. ‘Well yeah. They'll be totally surprised.’
‘Fun! Okay don't tell anyone I'm here, I wanna see their faces when I walk in.’
‘Sure.’ That’s all Kate can manage as she tries to keep calm.
Lucy breaks away leaving Kate standing there on her own in the lounge as she puts the frying pan back in the kitchen.
Kate takes the opportunity to break and let her panic show. She can keep all the secrets from anyone, except Lucy. Keeping secrets from Lucy breaks her heart, even this one.
Fuck. The party... Oh my god what are we going to do about the party? She's back and we don't have anything planned until tomorrow night?! Fuck fuckfuck...
'But first...'
Lucy startles Kate with arms that wrap around her from behind. Her internal monologue instantly dissolves and she feels her racing heart start to calm as she melts in the body behind her.
Lucy rests the side of her head against Kate's back as she feels arms laying on top of hers, tightening her hold. Their bodies are moulded together and despite Kate's taller frame, Lucy's strong enough to hold her as she feels the weight leaning into her body.
Lucy could feel that Kate had drifted away. Her mind wandered somewhere other than now, and that her touch had brought her back. A gentle squeeze and she lets her fingers spread so that she could feel Kate's body relax under the thin fabric of her shirt.
‘Hey...’
She places a kiss between her shoulder blades and lays her head back against Kate's body. The heart rate that thumped against her ear now calmed and she smiles to herself. Four months wasn't long enough to forget.
‘Hi.’ Kate smiles. It’s like they’re starting again. No surprises, just them. Thoughts of the surprise party are forgotten. Kate closes her eyes again, enjoying the feel of the familiar body against her own. Her body tingles with a buzz of recognition but at the same time, it’s like the world slows down. Lucy always knew how to calm her busy thoughts.
‘I missed you.’ Lucy's voice muffles a little as she turns her head for another kiss but it's clear enough for Kate to hear. There’s a softness to it that Kate notices for the first time this morning. It hasn’t been there since the insecurity Lucy felt when deciding whether to take the assignment.
'Yeah?' She questions even though she knows that there is no need to question.
Lucy's voice softens until she sounds almost vulnerable. 'Yeah. So much...' Lucy is resting her head, unable to see Kate’s eyes and she feels like she’s confessing with an emotion that would make her feel uncomfortable with anyone else. With anyone else, she’s fearless. With Kate, she didn’t need to be brave, and she knew she would love her anyway. From the bottom of her endless heart.
Kate matches her softness. 'We spoke almost every day.'
‘It's not the same as being able to hold you and look at you.’ She pauses and breathes her in, letting the air fill her body. ‘Are you saying you didn't miss me? Because that's not what you told me almost every time we talked.’
‘Oh, I missed you. I missed you so very much, my love...’ Kate gently tugs on Lucy’s arms to loosen, allowing her to rotate until she is face to face with Lucy. Lucy tightens her hold again, and Kate wraps her arms around Lucy’s shoulders.
‘Yeah?’
‘Mmhmm...’ Kate kisses Lucy’s forehead and replaces her lips with her cheek.
‘Being able to kiss you...’
‘Even if you do taste like OJ...’ Lucy throws in the jibe and tickles Kate’s lower back. Kate flinches then kisses Lucy’s cheek.
‘And I've just been for a run…’ Kate was still self-conscious even though she knew that Lucy didn’t mind her current state.
Lucy responds again by bringing their lips together. ‘Kate, everything about you is perfect.’
Kate pulls back and looks into Lucy’s eyes as their bodies start to sway. Lucy always loved this part. The slow sway when gravity and all other forces of nature seem to be an afterthought to the connection between them that brings comfort.
‘You've already said that.’
‘Can I keep saying it?’
‘Can I go take a shower?’
‘Can I join you?’ Lucy pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Surely Kate must know that her motive to coming home a day early was to spend some private time with Kate, no disruptions, no expectations. Just them, together and alone to reconnect.
There’s a glint in Kate’s eye and Lucy knows there’s an idea behind that cheeky grin.
‘How about you give me a minute to rinse off, while you turn on the hot tub and then I'll join you there?’ There it was again. She cocks her head to the side and her eyes drop as they darken. Kate’s voice deepens, and her body warms in anticipation.
‘Oh... I like that idea...’
They kiss with an intensity to match their earlier kiss. Lucy’s hands cradle Kate’s face and she lets her thumb caress Kate’s cheek. She remembers her earlier unspoken promise and kisses Kate’s jaw where her finger had touched, leaving her lips to linger. Kate exhales a moan as she turns towards the bathroom but keeps their hands joined, walking Lucy backwards. She switches their positions as they approached the door, one final kiss before the closing of the door separates them.
Lucy groans at the separation and leans against the door before she rushes to complete the preparations before Kate finished.
One quick shower down, Kate emerges from the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around her to find her bikini laid out on the bed. She could hear the familiar low hum of the hot tub, and water bubbling from the balcony.
She puts on the hand-picked bikini and smirks as she notices that it was Lucy’s favourite. She was impressed that Lucy managed to organize attire and the tub in the few minutes that she was gone.
With her towel wrapped around her again, she peers around the corner of the bedroom towards the balcony and sees dark brown curls bunched up on top of a head that was leaning back, barely visible.
She stepped out onto the balcony softly, no footsteps heard over the hum. The sigh that escaped her mouth though… that she couldn't help. Who could blame her when there was a beautiful woman resting in her own bikini, in a pool of water, the surface blurred by gentle waves, eyes closed with a content smile on her face. Peace and love flow through her and she is overwhelmed.
Lucy didn't open her eyes but smiles brighter when she senses that Kate is there. She lifts an arm up and out of the water, open and beckoning.
Kate doesn’t waste any time joining her. She drops the towel and Lucy can’t keep her eyes closed any longer, knowing what awaits her. An eye cracks open, then turns into two eyes wide open, her mouth hangs open slightly and she feels rude to be staring. But this woman is her girlfriend, and permission was given a long time ago to look. To spend time looking and then… well, whatever Kate desires.
Her breath catches and she feels her body ache. The abstinence from her touch was going to end and she struggles to contain the tremble of anticipation.
It has been too long for both of them.
‘At ease sailor.’ Kate winks, knowing exactly what Lucy was thinking. Lucy always had trouble focusing when Kate stood before her in swim wear. Or evening wear. Or work wear. Naked.
She approaches the tub and Lucy can't help but lurch forward, bringing with her a wave of still cool water.
She surges and reaches out, her wet arm snakes around Kate's bare waist and pulls her in for a kiss that's crashing and heated. It’s messy and it’s all lips pressed hard against each other.
The wetness tickles Kate and she jumps having just dried herself.
‘Sorry, not enough time to heat up yet. Also, you know I'm not a sailor.’
‘I know, but it's super cute so I’m gonna keep calling you my sailor.’ Kate laughs and it’s Lucy that melts this time at how adorable she looks with her hands held up in front of her with fists closed just as she feels a drop of cold water run down her spine.
Kate raises an eyebrow. ‘Hey... you never get into the cold water... who are you, you beautiful imposter, and what have you done with my girlfriend?’
Lucy leans back in the hot tub, exactly where she was before and feigns hurt. Her hand raises and the back of it gently rest on her forehead, a rivulet of water trickles down her arm. ‘My my, Miss Whistler. Firstly, I am most definitely your girlfriend and if you couldn't tell by my kisses then I obviously haven't kissed you enough. Secondly, I had to get used to cold water on the ship. Hot water was not always available.’
Kate dips her hand into the water and splashes some up at Lucy which interrupts her playful dramatics. ‘And I remember the story of the snorkelling too.’
Lucy laughs -that laugh- and splashes back although it doesn’t quite reach Kate who sits on the side, ready to enter. ‘Exactly, so cold water and me? We're best buddies.’
Kate doesn’t mind the cold water either and slides into the tub. Lucy pulls Kate's arm towards her and spins her around so that she's leaning her back against her.
She wraps her arms around Kate's middle and holds her close against her, as she settles in between Lucy's legs.
She leans down and leaves a trail of soft kisses on Kate's shoulder from the distal ridge of her collarbone to the sensitive spot under her ear. A quiet reverence descends and all you can hear is the hum of the hot tub.
Kate even cranes her head sideways to expose the flesh even more, inviting Lucy to continue. Lucy can hear Kate’s breathing increase and deepen, and it’s doing things to her.
‘Babe...’
‘I missed you so much, Kate.’ She keeps kissing and nipping at the exposed skin, while her hands widen on her abdomen, cheekily grazing Kate’s breasts with her thumbs.
‘I missed you too. But- ‘Kate’s words want to indicate a pause but her body wants to continue. She brings one of her hands up to cradle the side of Lucy’s head and she leans her own back against her shoulder. She brings one of Lucy’s hands fully onto her breast and holds it there, intention and permission. Lucy gently squeezes her flesh, the soft material barely able to hide Kate’s arousal under her thumb.
‘I missed kissing you.’
‘And I missed you kissing me too... But I have to get to work so I'm not sure we have time for wherever this is leading...’ In one move, Kate switches their positions but pulls Lucy on top of her so that she’s straddling her lap, legs wrapped around her thighs. The display of dominance immediately rewarded with a kiss. Lucy’s mouth opens and her tongue darts out against Kate’s lips. On beckoning, they part and Kate feels Lucy’s tongue against her own. Her hands pull Lucy’s open hips, hard against her abdomen. Lucy’s body involuntarily bucks, before she settles into a slow grind.
‘Work can wait. They don't know I'm here,’ She says as her body moves with familiar surges, just like the sway, it’s natural and beautiful and necessary. She throws her head back as Kate kisses her exposed neck. Peppering kisses against her throat, Kate stops and sucks at her pulse, struggling to control desire from overtaking sensibility.
‘But they know I'm here and they'll wonder if I'm-’
Lucy sighs and slows down the pace. 'Late. Because you're never late.' They've been interrupted more times by work than she'd like to count. She also knows how passionate Kate is about her work and isn't about to be the reason that Kate breaks her impeccable attendance record. Coming home early to surprise Kate, to kiss and hold here one day early was worth all the red tape. She was grateful just for that, and anything else... well that would have been a bonus, not the expectation.
That didn't mean she wasn't going to try.
'But I'm sure you could manage a crafty text message to your boss...'
'You want me to lie?' Kate scrunches up her nose, confused by Lucy's request.
'You could tell Curtis the truth. That you're late because you're in a hot tub with your girlfriend and you're about to make love to her in all kinds of ways to make up for the four months that she was away...’
'All kinds of ways huh? I'm intrigued...' There's that voice again as she pulls Lucy closer with a finger under her chin that tilts her face towards a waiting kiss.
Lucy obliges and leaves kisses across her cheek then whispers into her ear, 'Hopefully still turned on...'
'Definitely,' -Kate nips at the shoulder closest to her, and her eyes gaze along the length of Lucy's neck, watching her own finger leave wet droplets from her ear down to her collarbone- 'very much so turned on... But I don't think Curtis will take kindly to that text. So how about we make the most of the time that I have left before work, and then save all the other ways until tonight?'
'I'll take it.' Lucy accepted the compromise without a second thought. Being able to spend a moment of intimacy with Kate without anyone else knowing that she was here felt secretive but not deceptive. There was an allure in feeling like no one knew where she was, but if anyone was ever looking for her, they should know to look right here. There was nowhere else she would rather be.
'Dinner?'
'Mmm.... home cooked?' Their foreheads rest against each other. Their bodies connected and their hearts beat with anticipation.
'Of course.'
'And then....' Lucy drags a finger slowly down the centre of Kate's neck, down her chest, down between her breasts where the water pools. She dips her finger as her nail rakes along her skin.
Kate's mouth twitches. She has played this game before and she wants to play again. 'And then.'
Lucy bites on her lower lip again. Her trademark when she feels the heat inside her body grow at the promise of being touched. 'Sounds like a plan.'
'I like plans.'
'I like you.'
'Like?' Kate cocks her head to the side playfully.
'Love.'
There's a pause when their eyes meet. Just one word required for Kate's chest to squeeze, for her heart to seize within its confines and for her chest to expand like she had breathed in for the first time in four months.
'I love you too.'
'So... bedroom?' Kate takes that as her cue and she rises from the water, Lucy's legs still around her, her arms firmly around her shoulders. Kate lifts Lucy in her arms as she stands in the hot tub and let's the water cascade down their bodies where it falls into the waterline by her thigh. She takes two steps and perches Lucy in the edge, like a ship that's come to berth in shallow waters.
'Lead the way, sailor.'