Chapter 8
Hayley groaned as she woke up. Every muscle in her body was sore and she felt like she had been hit by a bus as she forced her eyes open. The first thing she noticed was that she was in the Avengers tower in the medical room. However, when she tried to sit and move, she found that her wrists were handcuffed to the bed. A bracelet was on her right wrist, accompanying the cuffs.
Alarms immediately started to ring in her brain as she tried to break free. The team entered soon after. All of them wore sad and blank expressions. She spotted Loki and Strange in the back, avoiding eye contact and shutting themselves off from her so she couldn’t communicate with them telepathically. This only caused her to become more concerned and alerted.
“What's happening,” Hayley demanded.
“After the attack, Fury believes it is best if you’re confined inside the Tower cells until everything is figured out...The bracelet prevents you from using your powers,” Tony explained in a monotone voice, completely devoid of all emotion, but she could feel his despair that he hid behind that mask.
Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open in complete disbelief.
“You’re kidding right,” she asked, praying that it wasn’t some sick joke they were pulling on her.
“I’m sorry Hayley,” Steve told her.
She shook her head as she protested and pleaded with them when they started to take her off the bed and into the halls.
“Please! Please don’t do this! It wasn’t me! I couldn’t stop it! Please! I would never hurt you,” Hayley tried to tell them.
She fought against them as they neared the cells below. It took Tony, Steve, Thor, and Clint to hold her steady. She screamed for Loki and Strange to help her and to not let them take her and pleaded with Natasha and the rest of the team to stop.
“I’m sorry,” was all Clint said as they entered the dungeon room and put her in a cell.
Hayley grabbed the bars, tears rolling down her face like a waterfall. She looked at Natasha who hadn’t said a word the entire time with wet, pleading eyes.
“Mom please….please don’t leave me alone here alone… You know I wouldn’t do this,” Hayley cried.
Natasha only shut her eyes tight and looked down, clenching her fists as she walked away with the others and left the girl screaming behind them. She looked to Loki and Strange, her lovers, the two men she thought she could trust, just stand there and not even look her in the face.
“Loki, Strange, you know me… Please…. Don’t leave me,” she sobbed.
“I’m sorry little dove,” Loki said, not looking up as he hurried out of the dungeon.
“We’ll get you out,” Stephen told her before leaving just like Loki had with the rest of the team.
“DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE! DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE! IT WASN’T ME! I DIDN’T MEAN TO! PLEASE! COME BACK! LOOOOOOOOKKKKKIIII! STEEEEEPPPPHHHEEEENN! MOOOOM! CLIIIIIINT! THOR! SOMEONE????!!! Please answer me,” Hayley screamed and sobbed.
Memories of being locked up in the Bad Place raided her mind and sent her into a frenzy as she banged against the bars, kicked, punched, shook, pulled, and slammed her body against the metal uselessly before whimpering and curling into a ball. With nothing else she was able to do, Hayley cried herself to sleep on the hard cell bed.
Hayley had shut herself out from everyone and everything. The team had brought her food and tried to tell her that they were working on getting her out, and at first, she would try to talk to them, but the longer she stayed there, the more she began to lose hope. Loki and Strange had told her that they fought like hell for her to not be locked up and to get her out, but it would take time. They tried to keep her company, but she could feel, with the entire team, that seeing her in the cell hurt them all and broke their hearts, some even felt betrayed.
She blamed herself for everything: the destruction of the city, killing people, hurting her family and lovers, even going as far back and blaming herself for the death of Alexis and the other trapped children She was a monster, a killer, a waste of life. It didn’t take long for Hayley to retreat into herself. By day four, she had been reduced to a shell of her former self, laying on the cell bed and facing the wall with blank eyes and not talking to anyone when they came by. She heard a door open before the sound of it closing echoed through the large space along with footsteps. She didn’t bother to turn to see who it was.
“Hey Hayley, I brought you food,” she heard Steve say.
He set the food inside her cell, but Hayley didn’t even stir or move to touch it, even though it had been a while since she last ate.
“Are you alright kid,” he asked.
His words went past her head, even though she knew he was talking. A sliver part of her told her to respond, but the static noise of the rest of her body trumped that thought.
“Alright well, I’ll let you sleep. I promise we’re trying to get you out. We’ll get you out as soon as possible,” he said before leaving her alone.
She had gotten the clarity to look at the food when he was gone, but a girl, nay monster, like her didn’t deserve to eat so she went back to staring at the wall as she had for the entire day.
Hayley didn’t eat at all, in fact, she was forcing herself not to, and she believed it scared the team that she wasn’t eating or moving after the fourth day as they had tried to make her eat or move, but nothing worked. They had shaken her and yelled at her to eat and once, Tony had tried to force the food into her mouth, but she had spit in his face and kicked him away before crying and throwing the food on the ground, which was the most she had moved in days. She refused to eat a single morsel for she had a plan.
On the fifth day, she could feel the effects of not eating or moving as she grew weak and physically tired. Good. She heard a multitude of urgent footsteps approaching her cell and the door opening and shutting gently. She knew the people inside. She knew them once, very well. She could never forget them.
“Hayley, baby,” Stephen called out.
She heard them, and it was so hard not to respond and talk to them, but she didn’t too, she didn’t want to. They betrayed her. Locked her away and left her there. For good reason, but it still hurt and broke her heart.
“Little dove, we brought you food,” Loki said gently.
Silent tears fell down her face as she lay there, staring at the wall and smelling the food and wanting to devour it yet throw up at the same time and cry into their chests. It was a very conflicting feeling.
“Sweetheart, you need to eat,” Stephen said, sitting on the bed and putting his hand on her shoulder.
Finally, she couldn’t stop herself from answering.
“I can’t…,” she told them, her voice cracking and weak from not talking.
They were silent for a while before finally, Loki spoke up.
“What do you mean you can’t? Why can’t you?”
The tears fell faster now and it took her a second to keep her voice level and calm as she curled in on herself more.
“I’m not hungry,” was the only lie she could muster up.
“I am the God of Lies, little dove, you know better than to lie to me,” he said.
Hayley didn’t know why, but his response pulled a small smile from her that lasted less than a second, but it happened all the same, and she couldn’t sit there and deny it. Nonetheless, she couldn’t help but say her plan and words of truth to her once sexy and mischievous lover, well lovers.
“I don’t deserve it…”
Silence again.
“What do you mean you don’t deserve it,” Strange asked.
“I hurt you… All of you… You don’t care about me anymore… I don’t have anything left… I don’t deserve it…I don’t deserve you... I don’t want to be alive… Just let me die,” she muttered.
A plethora of emotions hit her at that moment: rage, sadness, pity, regret, guilt, anger, sympathy, empathy, brokenness, everything. Suddenly, she was turned around to face her lovers before being pulled into a strong hug by the two men. That was when she lost it and started bawling and sobbing as she clung to them for dear life.
“You matter sweetheart. We have never forgotten you. We love you. All of us. Do you understand,” Strange spoke in a gentle voice, but she could feel the strong emotions emitting from him and knew he was telling the truth.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I’m so so so so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! Any of you,” she sobbed.
They held her until she calmed down before they pulled away and looked at her in the face.
“Little dove, we promised to get you out, and we WILL keep that promise. But until then, you need to eat,” Loki cooed, grabbing the food and handing it to her.
“I don’t want to be alone,” she sniffled quietly.
“You’re never alone,” Strange told her.
“You shut me out… You left me alone….”
“We’re so sorry, little dove. We are always with you…Now eat.”
She finally gave in and took a small bite. She had never tasted something so good that she wanted to inhale yet throw up at the same time, but she forced herself to eat it.
“I promise we’ll be back love,” Strange said.
She was quiet as the team came in to comfort her before one by one, they all left as they promised to get her out. For the first time, she since came into the cells, she believed them and felt a small fire inside her begin to start.