Spoils

Erik inhaled sharply. 

Pregnant. 

He really hadn’t expected it to happen, especially not on T’Challa’s first heat. The chances of that happening weren't supposed to be very high. After the medical checkup, the doctor had informed Erik privately that because T'Challa wasn't a natural-born omega, there was a possibility that his body wouldn't be able to bear children, even though his reproductive organs appeared to be functioning normally.  

He hadn't gotten around to telling T'Challa about it yet. It was a conversation that he had been putting off because he had still been contemplating the best way to tell T'Challa without making him too upset, given that this was such a sensitive subject for an omega. But now it seemed that he had one less thing to worry about. 

Erik blinked rapidly several times, still trying to wrap his head around the revelation that he was really going to become a father.

They were going to become parents.

Unbidden, an image rose in his mind - T'Challa  his belly growing round with their cub. A chubby, happy baby with both of their features - his facial structure mixed with T'Challa's. T'Challa's pretty dark eyes looking out at him from the cherubic face of an infant. A warm, living symbol of how far they'd come together. How they would be tied to each other, forever, now, no matter what happened.

The image was so profound, the wave of longing that suddenly swept over him was so overwhelming, that it almost took his breath away. All Erik could do was remind himself to continue taking one breath after the other as he stroked his fingers reverently over T'Challa skin, marvelling at the knowledge that his mate was carrying his child. 

Erik could feel T'Challa's happiness across their mating bond - happiness, mixed with a growing sense of panic. Though, calling it "panic" was being somewhat charitable. It was more akin to a growing sense of impending doom. 

"I - well, I might not be pregnant for certain. Maybe the heat just stopped because Shuri's serum wore off. She did tell me that it was an experimental formula," T'Challa said worriedly. He looked terrified. 

Erik's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong, baby? Don't you want to be pregnant?"

He only just managed to keep the alarm out of his voice. If T'Challa didn't want their cub… if he did anything to - to get rid of it… 

T'Challa shook his head, his eyes widening in surprise. "What? No, of course I do. It's just - I thought you didn't want a baby. You were so firmly against it in the beginning, and you didn't seem happy when I told you just now - " 

Erik's anger melted away all at once. He wrapped his arms around T'Challa, drawing him close and nuzzling his face. "Aww, is that what you're worried about? Of course I want the baby! I was just too surprised to say anything just now. I want it, I promise."

T'Challa still didn't look totally convinced. Erik rushed to reassure him, tightening his arms around T'Challa and punctuating each sentence with a light kiss against T'Challa's cheek. 

"Really, I was just surprised that it happened so quickly, that's all. Of course I'm happy about this! You're going to be such a great father, I know it." 

Erik reached forward and placed his palm against T'Challa's stomach. It was still taut and flat now, but thinking about how it would soon be swelling with child caused a surge of joy to well up within him - joy which T'Challa would definitely have felt too. T'Challa began to relax and lean back against Erik, a small smile spreading across his face. 

Erik continued, "I'm going to give our baby everything. I'm going to spoil you both so much." Any kid of his would be a perfect little hellion. Erik knew it. Visions rose in his mind of a little prince or princess - his little prince or princess - sassing them both. Raising hell. Erik couldn't stifle his grin. He couldn't wait to spoil his kid rotten. "They're going to have everything I never had. I'll give them the whole world. An empire on which the sun never sets -" 

T'Challa stiffened in his arms. "What did you say?" 

Shit. 

Erik winced internally. That had just slipped out, and at the worst possible time, too. He hadn't meant to let T'Challa find out about his plans so soon. 

"It was a metaphor. I didn't mean it literally," Erik said quickly, keeping his voice smooth and placating, hoping that T'Challa wouldn't ask any further questions.

But of course T'Challa wasn't just going to be put off so easily. Erik's heart sank as T'Challa narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.

"I think you did," T'Challa said firmly. He placed an arm protectively over his belly, turning away from Erik. Growing anger was creeping into his voice. “You told me you weren’t going to proceed with your original plan! You said that you would work with me! If you think for a single second that I'm going to let my baby become some sort of warlord -”

"Calm down, babe!" Erik said, alarmed. "Don't get so worked up. It's not good for the baby." 

He tried to move closer to T'Challa to soothe him, but T’Challa recoiled away from him, placing his arms protectively over his belly and glaring at Erik with fire in his eyes. 

Erik’s heart wrenched. He couldn’t recall the last time T’Challa had recoiled away from his touch like this or looked at him with such hostility. He knew this confrontation had been coming, but it hurt a lot more than he had expected. 

"The baby!" T'Challa exclaimed. "Is that really all you care about? Getting an heir to your empire?" 

"Of course not!" Erik snapped. He couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice this time. T'Challa seemed determined to jump to the worst possible conclusion. Why couldn't he see that Erik was doing all of this for them? "I'm doing this for all of us." 

T'Challa shook his head rapidly. "You know knew that I would never condone anything like this. You've been using me. You've been lying to me all this time! Shuri was right. I should've realised it from the beginning, but I let myself get sweet-talked by you." Tears were welling up in his eyes, clinging to his dark lashes. 

Erik's resolve weakened. He had always been very susceptible to T'Challa's tears - and he knew that T'Challa knew it. The sight of T'Challa struggling not to cry was starting to get to him, especially now that he knew T'Challa was pregnant with his baby. Seeing his mate in tears when he was in such a delicate state made him feel like the worst alpha on the planet. 

It was hard to stay properly angry with T'Challa when he was looking like this. Erik tried one more time to placate him. "Baby -" he began. 

T'Challa cut him off, still looking heartbroken and furious. "Do you really think you can fool me the same way again?”

“I’m not lying,” Erik insisted as he approached T’Challa. T’Challa tried to back away, practically hissing like an angry cat. But Erik was faster, and he moved in close to T’Challa until T’Challa’s back was up against the wall.

Trapped and with nowhere else to go, T’Challa glared defiantly up at Erik, his eyes still shiny with tears. He remained stiff and unyielding even as Erik leaned in close to him, so close that he could see every single one of T’Challa’s dark eyelashes. 

Impulsively, Erik raised a hand to brush away the tears clinging to T’Challa’s long lashes. T’Challa blinked rapidly and his breathing went shallow as he instinctively relaxed into his alpha's touch. 

Then his scowl was back, and he batted Erik's hand away, the corners of his mouth twisting downwards into a frown. 

“You'll be able to tell if I’m lying, right?” Erik said. Their newly renewed bond glowed warm and bright in his mind, shining incandescent with light. Through the bond, he could sense T’Challa’s indignation - along with his wavering resolve. As much as T'Challa wanted to remain angry at Erik, Erik suspected that deep down, T'Challa still wanted to believe in the best of him. And it wasn't as if Erik was lying right now.

"I admit, I haven't been completely upfront with you," Erik said. T'Challa immediately began to try to squirm away, looking furious, but Erik simply made a small shushing noise and tightened his grip on T'Challa's hands, still pleasantly warm from the fading throes of his heat. "But never doubt that I - that I love you. You and our baby - our family -" 

Erik's voice cracked again on the last word, and he had to take a sharp inhale of breath to compose himself. T'Challa had stopped struggling to get away, and now he was simply holding himself still, listening to Erik's words with bated breath. His hands were trembling in Erik's own. Or perhaps it was Erik's own hands that were shaking? It was impossible to tell. All Erik knew was that it took him all the courage to say these words, to admit how much T’Challa mattered to him - more than anything else had ever mattered to Erik in his life.

Erik's voice was raw as he continued, “It's all I ever wanted, ever since I lost my parents. Back then, I felt like the world had taken everything from me, and I just wanted to make everyone else hurt like I had been hurt. I'd seen so much pain and suffering that I knew without a doubt the world was a hellish place, and that I had to look out for myself. The world was hell, but I would become the king of hell, and then no one else would be able to take advantage of me and our people ever again. 

"But when I bonded with you, I slowly started to see a different path. Before that, my life had been filled with nothing but hatred and anger. But then, I started feeling…" 

Erik's voice broke off, and he had to swallow past the lump forming in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to say the next few words out loud, but he knew that T'Challa would understand. T'Challa's angry expression had gradually softened throughout Erik's speech, and the misty sheen of tears in his eyes were no longer tears of anger. Erik could sense the trust and hope filtering through the mating bond. 

T'Challa's hands tightened around Erik's, their fingers entwining and pressing against each other. For several heartbeats, they stood looking into each other's eyes, and Erik felt as if he were falling, falling in love all over again. 

He blinked away the tears that were suddenly pricking at the corners of his eyes. Where had they come from? The weight of T'Challa gaze suddenly felt overwhelming, and to reduce the weight of T'Challa's attention, Erik knelt down quickly so that his face was level with the lower half of T'Challa's stomach. 

As he placed his hands on T'Challa's belly, Erik imagined that he could feel his baby behind it, reaching back out to him. Of course it was too early for that to happen - it was probably no moment than a clump of cells at the moment. But the thought of it still brought a flush of pleasure to Erik’s cheeks, and a small smile tugged up the corners of his lips, completely heartfelt and genuine as he basked in the warmth of the connection.

T'Challa placed his hands on top of Erik's head, running his fingers lightly over Erik's locs. 

"And your plans?" T'Challa asked quietly, after a pause. 

"I said earlier that I'd work together with you," Erik said. He couldn't resist adding, "Of course I wouldn't mind being king of the world -" 

T'Challa's fingers tightened in his hair in warning, and the sudden sharp sting made Erik gasp, then snort with laughter. It faded quickly enough that Erik knew T'Challa wasn't truly angry with him.

"- but honestly, as long as our people are taken care of, I'd put up with just being the king of Wakanda," Erik finished. (He was being magnanimous and reasonable, and T'Challa had better appreciate it.) 

"We'll find a different path together," T'Challa promised, leaning down to kiss the top of Erik's head. 

It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off Erik's shoulders. Until now, he hadn’t admitted to himself how much he had been suffering under the weight of his seemingly insurmountable goal, and the stress of hiding his secrets from his mate. 

Erik let the tension drain out of his body, resting his forehead gently against T’Challa’s lower belly, secure in the knowledge that he had finally found his family at last.