We're No Heroes

Y/N is standing in front of a large window, her arms crossed and shoulder leaning against the wall when she hears the elevator doors open behind her.

She rolls her eyes without turning around, “I don’t want to talk to you, Dean. You’re a raging asshole.”

“I can’t say I disagree with you there, but I just met the guy.” Y/N looks over her shoulder to see Bucky walking towards her and chuckles.

“Oh, sorry.” She looks back out the window and sighs, “He’s not that much of an asshole. Only sometimes, and only when he’s trying to protect people.”

“I understand. Before Steve quit being Steve and became Captain America, I was constantly watching his scrawny ass. He wasn’t a huge fan of it either.” He stands next to her, leaning on the opposite wall in the alcove that they’re standing in, and joins her in staring out the window. “I’ve always loved New York. It’s nice to be back, even if isn’t as excited about having me back.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem all that fair.”

“It’s fair when all they see is the Winter Soldier destroying city property and killing people, doll.” She looks at him, eyebrows raised and he grimaces. “Sorry, force of habit. Curse of being a hundred years old; you keep saying shit like that.”

She snorts, and it’s Bucky’s turn to look at her with raised brows. “Well, you’re pulling off the millenial man bun pretty well, so at least you fit in there, old man.”

He laughs, a genuine laugh from deep in his gut, and Y/N can’t help but appreciate how handsome he is in the fading evening light. “I’m not even totally sure what that means,” he chuckles, then ruffles his pulled back hair. “I thought about cutting it. Something seems weird about it though, like…like it would be too much like old Buck. I’m not that guy anymore. Guess I’m not really the Winter Soldier anymore, either. Still trying to figure out exactly where I belong.”

“I certainly understand that feeling.”

“Oh yea?”

She nods, and suddenly she looks sad, tired. “I haven’t always been with my brothers. It took me a long time to find them, in this business a permanent address is a luxury most people don’t get. We have the same dad, but they lost their mom. I’ve always had mine.” She stops for a moment, lost in thought as she thinks about John and how different her upbringing had been from Sam and Dean’s. “Our dad…he raised them like soldiers. Dean’s always had to look after Sam, always felt like he had to save him. Sometimes I feel bad, like I’ve given him more of a burden. He has enough to worry about, you know?”

“I’m sure he doesn’t feel that way.”

“Oh, he’s never said anything. He never would, even if he did. It’s just…I grew up in the life, just like they did. I watched hunters come through our hotel doors, sit at the bar in the restaurant next door, exchange stories and patch each other up. I’ve seen them leave, and not come back. My mom raised me to take care of those people, make sure they were okay. She had every reason to look for revenge, every reason to be angry. She wanted to save people, but she did it with no malice in her heart, no burden. John would come and go, he loved her as best he could, and she would keep doing what she was doing when he inevitably left again. She taught me that revenge just led down a deeper and deeper hole. For a hunter’s kid, it wasn’t a bad life.” She clears her throat, clearly holding back tears that are threatening to spill, then shakes her head. “Sam and Dean didn’t get that. John didn’t have quite the same point of view as my mother. Their lives were the exact opposite, and, sometimes, I wonder if I’m just…rubbing that in their face by showing up.”

“Dean wouldn’t have been as upset about you staying if he didn’t love you. I’d imagine Sam feels the same way.”

“I’m not saying they don’t…they just try so hard to protect me, when I’ve seen just as much as they have. I’ve loved people and lost them. I run away from my problems, which are a bigger monster sometimes than the actual things we hunt. Sometimes I just don’t feel like I fit. It’s not their fault, they were alone for a very long time. I just kinda…showed up.”

“Then why don’t you go home? What’s keeping you here?”

She gives a wry laugh, the tear finally breaking free, and she hastily wipes it away, “Well, I don’t fit in much at home anymore, either. My mom…she’s sick.”

“Shouldn’t you be with her, then? If I could go back and be there for my mom…” Bucky trails off as he looks from Y/N back to the window.

“It’s…it’s not that easy. It’s her mind that’s sick. She’s losing it all; her personality, her sense of humor, everything. She made me promise before it got too bad that I wouldn’t watch it happen, that I wouldn’t let myself waste away with her. That I would keep helping the world, because it needs everything it can get. I left before her mind got too bad, when she could still tell Sam and Dean that it was okay that I went with them. But now…” she shakes her head.

“She doesn’t remember you?”

“On the good days, yea. Those are the days she talks to me on the phone, answers the emails my brothers send. They don’t know.” She looks at Bucky, almost with relief, “I’ve not talked about it to anyone.”

“Sometimes, you gotta.”

“Yea..sorry you had to be the one, I guess.” She sniffs, and Bucky turns to face her.

“Listen, I get why your brothers are worried. Hell, if I had someone like you to look after, I would worry, too. Don’t hold that against ‘em, huh? From the sound of it, none of you have very much family left, it would be a helluva shame to lose it.” He raises his hand, pausing just before his fingers graze her cheek, moving to swipe away another tear. Before he can give it a second thought and move, she leans into it and closes her eyes.

“Thank you.”

He scoffs quietly, “Why?”

“For listening. Not just assuming I’m some spoiled brat.” She opens her eyes and a smile plays at the corners of her mouth, “And for not hitting on me in the first five minutes you met me.”

He lets his hand drop and shrugs, “You gotta wait at least thirty before it’s not desperate. Steve never could figure that out. And Thor…well, I don’t know much about that, but I’m assuming things go a little differently in Asgard than they do in New York.”

“Ha…you’re probably not wrong.” She looks back out the window, eyes trained on the sunset.

“Think we should head back?” Bucky shoves his hands in his pockets, and Y/N shakes her head gently.

“I think…I think I’m going to stay here a little longer.”

“Okay, well, I’ll leave you to it then-”

“Will you stay?” she interrupts him suddenly, and he stops mid step to look back at her. She looks over her shoulder at him, eyes still shining with unshed tears, “Please?”

“Sure thing, doll. Whatever you want.” He leans against the opposite wall again, and as she watches the sunset, he waits with her, a silent vigil while she mourns what she’s losing and tries to hold on to what she’s gained.

Glass clinks against glass as Tony pours more shots for everyone.

“You grew up like that?” Steve asks with a shake of his head, his fingers wrapping carefully around his shot glass.

Sam nods, “Yea. It’s not that much different than what you guys do, really. Probably sounds less glamorous.”

“But you were children! You…you were four, Dean. You guys never had a chance.” Steve is still in disbelief that the two men in front of him have been fighting things none of them even knew about and have been since they were children.  

“Children as warriors isn’t unheard of, Steve,” Natasha interjects quietly, her eyes trained on her hands as they fiddle with her drink.

Steve ducks his head, “Sorry. It’s just…how have we never heard of this stuff?”

“I think you guys are busy enough fighting aliens,” Sam chuckles. “It’s not an ideal childhood, and we certainly have given up a lot as adults, but someone has to, right? You guys understand that.”

Clint nods, “Yea, I get it. And I think I speak for all of us here when I say y’all are heroes. More so than us, even.”

Dean shoves away from the bar he’s leaning against, “We’re no heroes. We do what’s gotta be done. At the end of the day, we stop monsters and we move on. No one knows what we do, and that’s why we do it. We gotta keep it that way.”

Tony sits down his glass, “I don’t know if you realize this, but that’s pretty much the definition of ‘hero’. It’s not like you can be like ‘Hello, I just saved the world, I’m a hero!’ If you have to say it…”

Dean gives Tony a sideways glance, “Oh, you mean like Earth’s Mightiest Heroes?”

“…well, when you put it that way.”

Sam shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter, heroes or not. Hell is literally coming. We need to figure out what to do.”

“What about this…this Crowley dude?” Falcon asks, leaning forward in his chair, elbows on his knees. “Could you somehow convince him to just…not work with Thanos?”

Dean scoffs, “Sure, we might have like a ten percent chance if we use our sister as bait.”

“The King of Hell has a thing for your sister?”

“Don’t act like you guys haven’t been eyeing her up and down since she walked in here. Hell, I have been,” Natasha says as she rolls her eyes. “Stands to reason that the King of Hell would, too.” She pauses, then gives a small shake of her head, “Not a sentence I thought I would ever say.”

“Can we just…not talk about our sister like that?” Dean practically pleads, his face screwed up in disgust. “It’s just…it’s gross, man.”

“But that doesn’t answer the question. This Crowley guy, he has the hots for your little sister?”

Dean throws his hands in the air and turns to look at Tony, “Why is this important?”

“Because, if he indeed has a little crush on modern day Annie Oakley, we need to use that. How does he know her, anyway?”

Sam stretches his legs out and awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, “He’s the reason Y/N found us.”

“What?” Natasha leans against the arm of her chair and closer to Sam, who looks at her from the corner of his eye, clearing his throat.

“Um…well, we have the same dad, but she stayed with her mom. We didn’t even know she existed.”

“Dad had a habit of that,” Dean grumbles and Sam frowns.

“Yea…he did. But this time was a little different, Y/N grew up like we did. Well, mostly; her mom didn’t drag her all over the country seeking revenge. She’s seen some bad things, but her mom…she taught her it wasn’t about revenge, wasn’t about seeking out violence. It was about helping people. And it was enough for her, for awhile, but then our dad died. I think she’d figured out that she had siblings, and it became an obsession for her. She even changed her last name to Winchester in hopes that someone would connect her to us. She had a hell of a time finding us. We’re…kind of legends in that world, I guess you could say. Half of the hunters don’t even think we’re real.”

“That’s what happens when some dipshit writes books about you and the cover art looks like some rip off romance novel,” Dean practically snarls, and Natasha perks up.

“There are books? Color me intrigued.”

“They aren’t accurate!”

“Accurate or not, she needed help. To this day, I still don’t know how it happened, but she ran into Crowley. Honestly, I think he found her, and he directed her to us. Just another thing he thinks we owe him for. I mean, in this particular instance, I guess we do, but that’s how it always works with him. You don’t just get something from Crowley.”

“So, he doesn’t have it bad for your sister?”

“Quit saying it like that, Jesus! No, he just likes her. She doesn’t put up with shit, and she’s good at her job. Hunting, obviously, but her research skills put Sam to shame. And Sam is good.”

“Then I say we use her! A good woman is hard to come by, especially one that’s handy with weapons and the written word. I would wager she would make an incredible Valkyrie.” Thor smiles, pleased with his input, and Dean shakes his head.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not letting her put herself in that position. It’s too dangerous.”

“Excuse me if I’m speaking out of turn, but is it our decision to make?” Steve asks, looking around the group. “Most of us never got a choice, and now we’re trying to take it away from her? I say we tell her the plan, and let her decide.”

“I’m in.” The group turns to see Y/N and Bucky returning from the elevator, the back of Bucky’s hand barely grazing the back of hers. She looks to him and he nods, then she shifts her gaze back to her brothers. “If I can talk to Crowley, maybe we can get it through his thick skull that this is a terrible plan. As much I don’t like Crowley, he helped me find you, and he can be useful. Thanos will kill him, no question, and then kill the rest of us. I can’t let the rest of my family be taken from me, too. I’ll do it.”

Sam looks to Dean, who nods. “Okay, then. Looks like we’ve got a job to do.”