All These Years

ALL THESE YEARS

“Just do it you idiot.”

Even at the tender age of thirteen, Michelle Jones added a touch of sarcasm and dash of lighthearted degradation to every sentence she formed. For the most part, everyone knew not to take her insults to heart because--as hurtful as it might have been--it’s just the way that she was and, most likely, how she’ll always be. But in this instance, Peter Parker wasn’t so sure. And to be quite frank, he was a little terrified of her. It wasn’t because of her quick comebacks nor was it the fact that she towered over him like a skyscraper (thanks a lot, puberty,) although those were on the list. But he was terrified because she was a girl and, despite their adolescence, she was just so…chill. It was like no matter what they did, she was always ten steps ahead of their eighth grade class and five steps ahead of some of their teachers. Honestly, Peter didn’t even know that much about Michelle but by the way she carried herself he was sure she knew how the world worked better than anyone else and, God, how intimidating that was.

“Are-are you s-sure you’re okay with this?” Peter stumbled over his words as he watched Michelle’s silhouette inch closer and closer towards him. He so badly wanted her to say she wasn’t okay with this, that she’d rather wait it out. That way he’d have a scapegoat without hearing Flash’s big mouth call him a coward or a loser for the rest of eternity.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kiss her, he did. Well, to be honest, he was fourteen years old and wanted to kiss any girl, really. He just couldn’t help but overthink it.

‘Is this her first kiss?’

‘What if it’s not and I sucks?’

‘What if it IS and I sucks?’

‘Will this be one of those first kiss horror

stories that she’ll tell years later from now?’

‘Is she really OKAY with this?’

‘What if I do something wrong?’

His heart was racing and even in this dark closet Michelle could tell his face was flushed. He tried to move backwards, but when you’re stuck in a cramped closet there’s only so far you can go.;

“Jesus Christ, Parker.” Michelle unraveled her arms that were crossed over her chest and put her hands on Peter’s shoulders. “You have fifteen seconds to tell me no or I’m going to do it myself.” Michelle said firmly.

Peter didn’t know it was possible, but somehow his mouth became drier than it ever was. He used about twelve of his fifteen seconds wisely and thought about if he was ready to do this. His eyes searched around the room, not looking for anything in particular, before they fell back to Michelle.  He took a deep breath and didn’t say a word.

‘You got this, Peter,’ His self-conscious reassured him. That was until, of course, Michelle started inching closer towards his. It felt like a scene off of a movie, like time had somehow slowed down.

‘No you don’t, not you don’t, no you don’t,

no you don’t no you don’t, not you do-”

He repeated his mantra until Michelle pressed her lips against his.

For some reason, despite him knowing what was about to happen, it took him by surprise. He stood there for a moment in utter shock at what was happening, but soon he closed his eyes. Deep down he was still freaking out, he had no idea what he was doing, but he couldn’t help but feel comfortable.

“Okay, your seven minutes are over.” Flash said from the other-side of the door, but neither one of them parted ways until the door swung open. Flash’s mouth dropped, Peter looked down at the ground shyly, and Michelle’s usual confidence somehow seemed to disappear.

Without a word, Michelle pushed passed Flash and made her way to whatever room that was the farthest from Peter Parker.

***

“Michelle?” Michelle heard her name being called, but she refused to answer. “Michelle are you alright?” The person persisted once more despite Michelle’s attempt to ignore them. She just wanted to be alone, but clearly the person couldn’t read the very intense social cues, so she (mistakenly) ignored her better judgement and turned around. “Are you going home?” Liz Allan tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and stepped closer towards Michelle. Even though it was dark outside Michelle could still see the soft sparkle in Liz’s eyes that she always seemed to have no matter who she was talking to. It was as if her eyes and the stars were constantly at war to see who could shine the brightest. She put her hand on Michelle’s arm and gave it a gentle a squeeze causing Michelle to flinch. “Hey, are you okay? Did anything happen? Should I call my parents?” Her mind suddenly wandering to the worst possible scenario. Michelle just shook her head in response, but it wasn’t particularly reassuring considering Michelle seemed to be avoiding eye contact.

“No,” Michelle cleared her throat and self-consciously ran her hand through her wild, frizzy curls while focusing on Liz’s looser, but neater ones. “I just have to go home. I’m not feeling too well.” She rubbed her stomach as Liz rose one of her eyebrows while crossing her arms over her chest.

“Are you sure? Because my parents are literally right across the street watching. I could shut the party down if you’d like.” Liz said nonchalantly. Her parents were cool, but she was only fifteen and there was no way they were letting a bunch of high school students in their house unsupervised.  

“I’m fine.”  She said in her usual dry tone. She noticed Liz parting her lips to say something else, but thankfully she was saved by her mother’s nearly blinding headlights. Quickly, Michelle leaped off the front porch, completely disregarding the 3 steps that were in front of her, and sped-walked to her mother’s car.

“Hey,” her mother greeted while watching her daughter frantically fastening her seatbelt. “Is everything alright?”

“Yep, everything’s fine. You know me though, can’t be around my peers for more than an hour without feeling both physically and mentally exhausted.” Michelle made an attempt at a self-deprecating joke only to get a sigh from her mother as she pulled away from Liz’s property. As much as she loved her daughter she couldn’t deny the fact that her social skills sucked and while most parents wanted to keep their newly freshman kid away from a high school party she hoped that this one would give a slight nudge in the right social direction. Plus it didn’t hurt that she watched Liz grow up and she’s always been a great kid.

“Oh. Well, I’m glad you went and if you didn’t like it then you don’t have to go to another. You know that right?” Yes, Mrs. Jones was disappointed that her daughter didn’t open up socially the way she wanted her to, but she also didn’t want to pressure her.

“Yes, I know.”

***

“Chelley!!” Michelle’s father greeted her with the nickname that he (so graciously) carried out through her entire adolescence. “How was the..party?” He trailed off, almost forgetting what he was talking about, as his eyes followed his daughter who raced by him.

“MEH,” She responded but she was already taking the stairs two by two before he could ask why it was just ‘meh.’

“Madison,” Michelle spoke softly to the door that stood between the hallway and her older sister’s room while struggling to catch her breath. You see, she had the physical appearance of someone who could easily be mistaken as “in shape,” but looks can be deceiving.

“What?” Madison yelled from the other end which Michelle took as an invitation to come into the room.

“Um,” Michelle ran her hands down the sides of her jeans while allowing her eyes to roam around the room. She looked down at her feet and watched her right shoe frantically brush against her left one. God, her mom was gonna kill her for wearing them inside the house. “I need you to, uh, straighten... my hair…” She cleared her throat and silently watched as her sister side eyed her.

“Whyyy?” Madison asked in a sing-song tone. She was extremely into cosmetology, especially with the increasing popularity of the beauty guru community on YouTube, but something felt off. Especially since she’s been trying to get Michelle to be her test subject for years now, but Michelle never really cared enough about her appearance to actually go through with it.

“You know,” Michelle touched the ends of her hair. “I start high school tomorrow. New school, new me.” She let out an awkward, breathy chuckle and shrugged before taking a seat on the edge of Madison’s bed.

“Huh,” Madison squinted her eyes and sat in silence for a minute or so. She definitely wasn’t buying what her sister was trying to sell, but she also wasn’t stupid enough to pass up this opportunity. So she went along with it, but she was sure to ask questions later.