Nine shots down and Bucky’s metal arm was the only thing keeping you upright. You were standing by the balcony and enjoying the light breeze. Bucky still held a glass of Thor’s Premium Asgardian™ liquor and you were tempted to steal it from him.
“Buckyyyy gimme it” you giggled, making grabby hands at him.
Bucky looks at you sideways and gulps all of it down, while maintaining eye contact, smirking slightly.
“Bucky nOO i wanTED that” you whine, your voice becoming shrill with every syllable.
“Babe no, you’ve had enough” he giggles midway, his eyes glassing over.
“It just hit you didn’t it” you also start giggling at this point, you’d never seen Bucky get drunk before.
You didn’t realize how loud you were both being until Tony looked at you both, looked at Steve who had just entered and shouted acorss the room,
“Cap, your popsicle is having a brain freeze.”
Natasha sniggered and Clint literally couldn’t care any less.
Steve looked around flabbergasted until he sees you pawing at Bucky’s face drunkenly babbling, “Bunkyyyy is drunkyyy”. Bucky boops your nose with his index finger babbling back at you, “You drunkyy TOO”.
Steve looks around helplessly around the room as Tony and Natasha shrug, dismissing themselves of any possible responsibility Steve could impose on them.
At this point you turn around and see your second favourite supersoldier and you grab Bucky’s hand and run at him. Steve doesn’t know what to do so he just stands there looking mildly terrified as he sees the both of you approaching him like a drunken frieght car. You both crash into him latching onto him like a pair of monkeys. Steve stumbles back a little, trying to hold your weight while Bucky still tries his best to scale him. Your hands were around Steve’s neck, legs tangled around his waist and your face buried in his neck.
“Stevie you’re so WARM you’re like bread.” You take a pause to make up your mind, you look up at him and say decidedly, “like toasty bread.” Content with your declaration, you nuzzle your face back into his neck, you decide he makes a very good pillow. And also a tree. Because you’ve climbed him. So like a pillow tree. Or a tree pillow.
You hear Bucky grumble and you open your eyes to peer down at him, he was still struggling to mount him. He looks up at you with a frowny pout, “Y/N you’re hogging my Stevie :(”
You stick your tongue out at him, “asnxnskw bYE Bucky ur being a MEANIE leave me alone on my Stevie tree”.
Bucky places his head on Steve’s chest and looks up, whsipering in awe, “Stevie you’re so pweetttyy” and then keeps softly whispering to himself while rubbing Steve’s left pec,
“so pwetty” “my littul bb8 stevie-8”
At this moment Sam walks in and stares at you three before guffawing at the drunkes mess before him.
“Wow this is a threesome I definitely want to see again.”
“Shut up Sam”, Steve grumbles. “Can’t you help me out?”
“Man, I really wish I could help but I don’t want to. You’re on your own with this one, Cap.” Sam can’t stop laughing on his way out and decides to go call the rest of the team so that everybody could collectively enjoy Steve’s plight.
“Guys, we’re going to go sit now okay?” Steve baby talks you both. You nod into his shoulder while Bucky pats his cheek happily, “Ok!!”. Steve sighs as he makes his way to the couch, dragging one(1) Bucky along and carrying one(1) Y/N on his right side, wondering how he got himself into this mess. He finally lowers himself onto the couch and Bucky promptly plonks onto his lap, shoving you away to make more room for him on Steve.
“MY Stevie go AWAY Y/N nobody likes you”
“You don’t wike me Bcksjs??” You start sniffling, your eyes watering.
“Y/N noooooo come baaack i didn’t mean that” Bucky makes grabby hands at you but you back away from his touch.
“NO you’re not my favourite super soldier anymore i only love STEVIE now bye borky”
You kiss Steve on his right cheek trying to make a point. Bucky uses this distraction to awkwardly lean over Steve and tries to kiss your cheek, failing and falling face first into your lap. You squint down at him and he looks up at you with puppy eyes, pouting sadly. You bend down and lick his nose, giggling as he scrunches his face up.
“Nooo, that tickles” Bucky cracks up, trying to shield himself as you cup his cheeks, leaning down to kiss him.
Steve panics, frantically trying to push both of you off of him. “No no no no no please don’t do this on me.”
It is at this moment that the rest of the team, consisting of Tony, Natasha, Sam, Pietro, Clint and Bruce, walks in and sees the blonde man desperately trying to extricate himself from the two inebriated adults™ who are nesting on him.
“Help me, you guys!” He pleads, eyes darting wildly among the group.
“Don’t look at us,” Tony snickers. “We didn’t get you into this mess.”
“Nooo, that tickles” Bucky cracks up, wriggling to shield himself from your embrace as you cup his cheeks, leaning down to kiss him.
Steve panics, frantically trying to push both of you off of him. “No no no no no please don’t do this on me.”
It is right then that Tony, Natasha, Sam, Pietro, Clint and Bruce, walk in, intrigued by Sam’s description of “something hilarious happening in the living room you don’t wanna miss this” and sees Captain America™ desperately failing trying to extricate himself from the two inebriated adults™ who are nestling on him.
“Help me, you guys!” He pleads, eyes darting wildly among the group.
“Don’t look at us,” Tony snickers. “We didn’t get you into this mess.”
Alerted by Tony’s voice, you look up to see the rest of your friends, hurriedly pushing Bucky off Steve’s lap and making him land on the floor with a thud.
“Guuuuuuyyyyssss” you squeal as you run towards them at full speed and try to wrap your arms around all of them at once. Sadly you could only fit Natasha and Sam in your arms, you attempted to fit Pietro or Bruce but you hand just wouldn’t reach that far. You resignatedly gave up and stuck to hugging Natasha and Sam as hard as you could, with one hand around either of them. Natasha and Sam hug you back affectionately, unable to deny how cute you are when you’re drunk. When you feel satisfied with the duration of your hug you take a step back and look at Natasha in wonder, your eyes widening as you stretch your right hand out to touch her face ever so gently, as if you’re worried if you touched her too much she would somehow cease to exist. Your mouth opens in amazement as you lightly stroke Natasha’s cheek, “Natasha so hot, how?”. You keep staring at her in amazement as Sam mumbles next to her, “We’ve all been trying to figure that one out since the beginning of time buddy.”
“Shut up Sam.” Natasha rolls her eyes at him and Sam promptly does so. Your hand slowly trails down to Natasha’s chest. You’d always wondered how she was so hot and your fingers were lightly tracing the leather on the curve of her breasts when you turned around at the sound of Bucky.
Bucky scrambled up off the floor, stumbling over the carpet and making his way towards the team and stopping in front of Tony, his head bowed downwards, fidgeting with his hands and fingers. Even while drunk Bucky couldn’t bring himself to look into Tony’s eyes. He began softly, but the emotions poured in almost instantaneously,
“I’m sorry Tony I never meant to kill your parents Tony I really didn’t I swear Hydra made me do it Tony they stuck all those machines on me and it hurt so bad and I tried to resist it Tony I swear I tried I really tried Steve knows I tried Tony but I couldn’t I’m sorry I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to make you and Steve fight Tony please don’t hate Steve because of me Tony? He loves you a lot and I’m really sorry I did it and Steve loves you so much Tony he misses you a lot and he never tells you how much he misses you I’m really sorry Tony please don’t hate me I hate myself already please don’t hate me please please please” Tony sees Bucky’s tears spilling onto the ground and all the anger that Tony had had pent up against Bucky, almost all of it melts away and Tony awkwardly draws Bucky in for a hug. Bucky rests his head on Tony’s chest, Tony’s hands around Bucky’s back, as he takes his glasses off with his left hand to wipe off a tear with the back of his hand. Tony didn’t think he could ever be capable of such emotion but once again, he had been proven wrong.
While this was happening the rest of the team, including Steve and you looked at them, the atmosphere in the room suddenly dropping a few degrees, worried about how Tony would react, their hearts heavy and anticipation flickering in their eyes as none of them were expecting this and yet how could they bring himself to hate someone who already hated himself more than anybody else in the room for something he didn’t even know he was doing?
You decided to step away from Natasha and shyly walk towards Tony as well, seeing your Bucky so upset made you upset as well. “Please don’t hate my Blunky, Tony, it makes him so sad that you hate him him so much and sometimes he wakes up at night crying about it. He won’t admit it but I know he does. He didn’t mean to do it Tony he really didn’t, please don’t hate him Tony? Please?” You speak softly and your lips are quivering by the end of it too, tears threatening to spill over. Tony looks at you, smiles and extends his left arm towards you, you smile and rush over to embrace Tony as well, your head resting on his shoulder while one hand settles on Bucky’s waist and the other one wraps around Tony’s neck.
“I don’t hate you, Barnes. Not anymore. But we’ll talk about this when you’re sober, okay?” Tony speaks softly into Bucky’s hair because how could anyone be mad at the sweet bean that he was right now. “Will you let me go now?”
Bucky releases Tony, nodding happily while he wipes his tears away. “Thank you Tony”
“Yaaay Tony and Booky are friends now,” you clap your hands, jumping in joy. There was a perceptible change in the atmosphere, like everyone was suddenly relieved of a huge burden. You looked over to see that Stevie also had a smile on his face. His smile looked a little sad you thought but it was a smile nonetheless and that would do for now. All your friends were happy and that made you very happy.
“Guys let’s go get pizza?” Tony asks the group, not wanting to deal with the emotional interaction that had just taken place.
Steve perks up immediately, “Can I come too?” He asks expectantly.
“Only once you put the two children to bed.” Tony begins to walk out of the room but pauses for a second. “FRIDAY please tell me you’ve been recording everything that happened tonight.” He calls out to the AI whose voice rings out softly.
“Yes of course, Mr. Stark. I always record everything for security purposes.”
Steve huffs in frustration and the team breaks out in fits of laughter and leave.
Steve pushes himself off the sofa while you and Bucky stand wrapped in each others arms, your faces pressed close together.
“Have I ever told you that you look like Luke Skywalker?” You squish Bucky’s face, kissing him on his pouty lips.
Bucky grazes his lips against yours in a little kiss and Steve can’t help but smile at the two of you, feeling happy that his friend finally has some peace.
“Time to go to bed.” Steve tries to gently nudge you towards the door.
His eyes widen as reflex as you suddenly squeal excitedly, “Stevie can you carry me again?”
“No.” Bucky interrupts you, grumbling unhappily. “Steve carried you last time, it’s my turn now Y/N.”
You narrow your eyes at Bucky till a grin stretches across your lip. “No Stevie has to carry us both then!” You exclaim.
Steve shakes his head in resignation, knowing that there was no way he could escape from this. “Climb on, then.” He sighs.
Both of you immediately jump onto him, Bucky on his front, legs wrapped around his waist and you on his back, your arms reaching past him and circling around Bucky’s neck, effectively sandwiching him between the two of you.
“Y/N Stevie is the patty to our burger” Bucky laughs at his own joke while you wriggle against Steve’s back trying to get closer to Bucky.
You two almost kiss over Steve’s shoulder, both of you shuffling to inch closer before Steve screams in terror, “DO NOT DO THIS ON ME!”
“Sorry Stevie,” you and Bucky giggle in unison, both planting kisses on his cheek from either directions.
Steve starts walking out of the room. “Bucky put your arms around Y/N so that she doesn’t fall off.”
“Yes, I will protecc my precious cupcake” Bucky nods with determination, pulling you further into Steve’s back.
Steve can’t help the small laugh that escapes his mouth. He groans when he realises that the rest of the Avengers are standing beside them, clicking away on their phone.
“Oh shit, Steve, this is kinky.” Sam chortles, winking.
“Shut up, Sam.” Steve hurriedly walks past them.
“You’re the best tree pillow ever, Stevie.” You tighten your arms around him, pressing your cheek against the back of his neck. You swore he had the nicest and warmest neck ever. You promised to remember this to tell him when you were sober the next day.
Steve pushes the buttons of the elevator, confused at your words but nodding, too tired to ask you what you mean. “Thanks, I guess.”
He walks into the elevator, his eyes widening in horror as it dawns on him that Bucky’s erection in pressed against his stomach.
“Oh no no no no no Bucky please get off I don’t want-I can’t-please get off Buck.” He tries to push Bucky off but that only results in Bucky holding onto him with more conviction.
“Shut up Steve it’s not for you anyway it’s for Y/N.” Bucky objects.
You look up from nestling in Steve’s neck with renewed interest when you hear your name. “What’s for Y/N?” You ask.
“I got a bonnnerrrr.” Bucky grins at you, his eyes full of mischief as Steve restlessly attempts to put some distance between himself and his best friend.
Your eyes light up at the confession as you lift your face from Steve’s neck, whispering animatedly into his ear, “Did you know that Bucky’s dick is really really biiiiiiig? It’s so big Stevie it’s sooooooo big.”
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” Steve closes his eyes, praying for the elevator to move faster.
“You’re the best friend ever Stevie I love you so much you have no idea how much I love you I will love you forever” Bucky looks right into Steve’s eyes as he confesses his undying love for him before he presses his lips against Steve’s forehead before resting his head against Steve’s chest in satisfaction.
“I love you too, Buck” Steve rubs Bucky’s back, a smile spreading on his face, his heart warming in joy at his oldest friend’s alcohol induced words.
“AND I LOVE YOU BOTH” you tighten your arms around the two super soldiers, squealing. You were convinced this was the happiest you had ever been and ever will be.
The doors of the elevator open, relief coursing through Steve’s veins as he quickly walks to the bedroom the two intoxcitaed wrecks share.
“Can you get the door for me, FRIDAY?” Steve asks, realising his hands are literally full.
“Of course, Captain Rogers.” And the blonde super soldier is almost sure that he can hear a smirk in the AI’s voice.
He walks into their room, standing sideways by the bed.
“Okay, get off, guys.”
They let go immediately, falling onto the bed together, laughing when Steve curses.
“Fuck, you morons, you could have gotten hurt.”
“Stevie said a bad word, Y/N.” Bucky giggles, pulling you closer.
“Language, Steve!” You snort, along with Bucky.
Steve just exhales deeply, beyond exhausted to deal with you both at this point, reaching forward to help Bucky take off his shoes and socks.
“Are you trying to get me nakey, Stevie?” Bucky giggles as Steve pushes his jacket off him, followed by his shirt and pants, not saying anything.
“I wanna be nakey too, Stevie” you coo at him as he looks away embarrassed.
But you raise your arms in the air, saying, “Please help me Stevie.”
He looks at Bucky, his cheeks red. “Buck, I…” he trails off.
“It’s okay Stevie, you’re my bestest friend.” Bucky lies back down the bed.
“You sure?”
Bucky and you nod in determination, your demeanor so childlike that Steve can’t help but chuckle shyly.
He gingerly lifts the dress off you, his fingers never straying from the garment, eyes fixed on the wall behind you.
Your sudden giggle makes him freeze in horror.
“Y/N did I-are you-I’m sorry-”
You cut him off, shaking your head. “It’s okay Stevie, Bucky’s just trying to grab my butt”
Steve grunts. “Control yourself Bucky.”
When he’s removed your dress, he turns around immediately, neatly folding it on a chair while you crawl under the sheets with Bucky.
“Stevie kiss us good night” You extend your hands out towards him, your voice soft with sleep and exhaustion.
He leans down, brushing his lips against your forehead. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“I want a kiss too.” Bucky grumbles from beside you, turning towards Steve who obliges him, any awkwardness that he had before now replaced with acceptance of his fate.
He pulls away, tucking you two in and then walks over to the door.
“Please inform me if either of them wake up in the middle of the night, FRIDAY.”
“Okay, Captain Rogers.” FRIDAY’s voice startles you.
“Hi, FRIDAY! Buckster and I are drunk.” You wrap your arms around your boyfriend who pushes himself closer to you, his erection brushing against you.
“I know, Miss Y/L/N.” FRIDAY sounds like your mom you decide.
Steve turns towards the two of you one last time and regrets it immediately as he realises that Bucky is kissing your neck, his hand on your breast.
“Ew Bucky, get off!” You squeak. “Your boner’s poking me!”
“But I’m turned on!” Bucky groans, his hands reaching out for you.
“At least wait till I’ve left the room, you jerks!” Steve fails to hide the humor that laces his voice.
“No Bonky I wanna sleep” You huff, suddenly sitting up to take your bra off. Steve takes the cue to leave your room, blushing scarlet at your lack of propriety.
“Good night bb8 Stevie-8. We love you.” Bucky’s sleep heavy voice is met by a small chuckle as Steve wishes both of you good night, his head poking back into the room, eyes averted to the floor.
“I love you both as well.” He locks the door, walking away.
You finally manage to remove your god forsaken bra and fall back into the bed beside Bucky.
His lips meet yours in a gentle, sleepy kiss.
“I love you so much, Y/N.” He whispers, sighing against your cheek.
“I love you too, James.” You run your hand along his side, pressing your nose against his.
“Can I be the little spoon tonight?” Bucky turns away from you, his words punctuated with a yawn.
You nod into his back, throwing your leg over his waist as you drift off to sleep, adding drunk Bucky to your list of favourite Bucky’s.