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Bucky’s well aware he knows you better than most of your teammates do. And if he knows you half as well as he thinks he does, he knows what you’re doing tonight behind the privacy of your bedroom door.
Worry etches his handsome features as he folds his arms across his chest, leaning a shoulder against his door frame. He stares across the hall at your closed door. If he focuses, his enhanced hearing can pick up the sound of your damp sniffles, making his heart tug painfully in his chest for you.
He knows that you’re curled up all alone in your bed, torturing yourself by scrolling through dozens of old messages, lost in light of a cell phone glow as you silently plead for a new message from that name to appear on the screen. But it hasn’t. Not in weeks.
He doesn’t want to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and he certainly doesn’t want to embarrass you by prying, but there’s something about seeing one of his favorite people, usually so warm and lively, become so suddenly small and broken. It makes the weight in his chest feel heavier, makes him feel a little crazy, a little desperate. It claws at his airway, licking hot flames up the back of his throat. He swallows hard, forcing the feeling down.
He considers his options carefully. He can’t stand by for another night of this, lying awake in bed and feeling your heart break from across the hall.
Maybe this is it, he realizes suddenly - maybe this is the chance he needs. It’s obvious you need a little tender loving care to get back on your feet, someone to make you smile and laugh again. God, how he’s missed that smile.
He’d never considered himself good enough for you, insisting to himself that you deserved better the broken shell of a man with a mind ravaged by a haunting past.
But hell, he thinks with a snort, even I could do better than that asshole.
He sets his shoulders decisively. He can play the knight in shining armor, if that’s what you need. He can kiss your wounds, hold you through lonely nights, make you see how precious you truly are until you can stand on your own two feet again.
An awful thought creeps suddenly into his mind. Maybe when you got back on your feet, you wouldn’t need him anymore. He brushes the thought away quickly, permanence was of no matter to him. He’d rather have you for a fleeting moment than to never have had you at all.
He licks his lips as he considers. He realizes it’s true - if there came a time when you no longer needed his affections, he’d consider himself lucky that you had ever accepted them in the first place.
Summoning his courage, he steps across the hall and knocks softly on your door. He hears the bed springs creak as you rise, your bare feet pad across the floor.
The door opens slightly. You force a smile for him despite your flushed and blotchy cheeks. “Hey Buck. Did you have a nightmare?” Concern knits on your brow as you reach for his hand, curling your fingers between his.
“No Y/N, it’s not that. I… I know you’re hurting doll,” He starts carefully, his voice deep and gentle as his eyes search yours. “I hear you cryin’ at night and it just about kills me.”
Your gaze quickly falls to the floor as you blink back a rush of embarrassment. But with careful fingertips he brushes the hair back from your face and tenderly raises your chin to look in your eyes.
“I know how hard it can be, doll.” He wets his lips with his tongue.
This is it, he thinks. No going back now.
“And I was thinkin’ if you need a little help to move on, someone to tell you they need you, they want you…” He trails off as he cups your face in his hand, swiping his thumb slowly across your bottom lip.
“If you need a little help getting back on your feet again, or someone to come and sweep you off of them, you should know that I can do that.” His husky tone makes it crystal clear what he’s suggesting. His eyes carefully study your face for your reaction. Seeing nothing but stunned surprise, he continues. “If you need somebody holding you right, somebody who can be everything you need… What the hell, it might as well be me.” He says with a carefree shrug and a devilish smirk that makes your panties damp.
Your lips part in surprise as you look up at him with wide eyes, struggling to form a cohesive thought. Bucky chuckles at your tongue-tied expression.
“C’mon doll, I’ve seen you staring at me in the gym.” He flashes you a teasing grin, making your heart flip and flutter despite your heartbreak. “And you know Sam is always razzing me about you.”
The warmth in his eyes makes you flush and the corners of your mouth turn up ever so slightly as you carefully consider him. “Preying on a woman while she’s weak?” You tease softly, raising an eyebrow at him. “That doesn’t seem your style, Barnes.”
He smiles a little, and his eyes say all you need to know. You feel them bearing into your soul. “You know that’s not what this is.” He says softly as he leans in close, nudging the shell of your ear with his nose. “Lemme take care ‘a you a little while, hmm?” His low groan makes your breath catch, and you can’t deny the ease it brings to the ache in your chest. Warmth spreads through your center at his nearness.
“You can get rid ‘a me anytime you want, you won’t hurt me none.” He lied.
What if I never want to? The words died on your lips, fear holding you back. You swallow hard and decide instead on a playful response for now.
“Are you sure you still know how, old man Barnes?” You teased lightly as you reached forward to take his hand.
He chuckled, relieved to see even a small smile on your face. He took it in for a long moment. “Some things you just don’t forget, sugar.” He promised as you pulled him into your room, closing and locking the door behind him.
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