Chapter 2
Carina was lying on the sofa reading the latest publication on the topic she was currently researching. She was so engrossed in the article that she didn't notice anyone sneaking up on her or the sofa.
A small blond person with the cutest pigtails and a lightblue overall, to be more precise.
The girl climbed up the back of the sofa and then leaned over. It was a little bit too far and she fell into her mother's lap.
"Ciao, Mama," she smiled.
"Bambina, how many times have I told you not to climb on the furniture?" Carina sighed at her four-year-old daughter, but at the same time hugged her with so much love, it could hardly be understood as scolding.
"But Mama, it's so much fun. And Mommy always says: I just have too much energy. And energy can be reduced. Through exercise. But it's important that it's exercise that I like. And I like climbing sooooo much Mama. You know?"
"I love you." was the only thing Carina could say back as the big blue eyes beamed at her.
And she meant it with all her heart.
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After Maya's breakdown and the almost three-month separation - Maya insisted on speaking of spatial separation - a heartbreaking letter led to Carina returning home to her wife.
It was far from over. All was not well yet. But at least she knew that the first step had been taken.
She temporarily moved into the guest room - spatial separation , she was not ready to share a bed with Maya again. She had discussed this with her own therapist and told Maya, who accepted it without discussion.
But they watched movies at home and ate together again, and Carina was always surprised when she came home from long shifts at the hospital to find that Maya had cooked for both of them.
Maya used recipes for Italian dishes from the internet. From a Sicilian website, which she translated with the help of Google.
Carina couldn't help but smile when she saw Maya sitting on the sofa with her tiny notebook with all the vocabulary in it. Her tongue between her lips, trying to read and remember the words and repeating them quietly.
Carina was in love with this woman.
Maya was able to cook dinner because she wasn't ready to go back to work. In general, work didn't seem to be an issue for Maya at the moment. She told Carina that she was evaluating certain things in her therapy sessions with Diane, but she wasn't prioritising her job at the moment. At the top of Maya's mental clipboard was: Get better: for me, Carina and our family.
Carina could still see the marks on the blackboard in the kitchen, where this sentence had probably once been written as well. Maya must have wiped it away when Carina returned.
After some time, Maya asked Carina to come with her her to one of her sessions. In tears, she told bits of her childhood, her sports and professional career and drew conclusions about her behavior in recent years. Carina cried throughout the whole session. She cried for Maya. She cried for Maya's childhood and for her own.
None of these things were excuses, but they were explanations. Carina was a doctor with a scientific background. And explanations were important to her. Explanations helped to understand and ultimately provided solutions.
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A little more time passed before Maya and Carina were physically close again. Maya had asked Carina out on a date. She had planned everything through. Joe's bar opened just for the two of them and candles placed at the bar. The bar where their love had begun. They had just toasted for the first time when, of course, something must have happened. Maya, who was now working part time again, was called into action and Carina had to help with an emergency c-section. In the end, both met exhausted in the living room of their appartment. The candles were lit again and in the end Maya asked if Carina wouldn't like to come back to their bedroom and their bed. That night they held hands and never lost physical contact.
Careful kisses, gentle touches and the first sex.
They were reunited. Maya and Carina. Inseparable.
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Maya continued to work hard on herself. For herfelf and Carina, she overcame self-imposed limits, which in retrospect turned out to be self-protection that she didn't need with her wife. And Carina embraced this change. She always loved Maya. Always. There was no time in their relationship and later marriage when she had doubted her love. But she had doubted being able to pass on all her love. She doubted whether Maya would ever be able to accept all her love.
She no longer had these doubts.
After much discussion, they were both ready to work on their dream of a child again. They went to a sperm bank to find a donor with Maya's characteristics. Blond, blue eyes, athletic. It was also important to both of them that the donor was willing to be contacted if the child should have this wish later in life.
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They didn't want to know the gender of the child until it was born. They were so grateful that Carina did eventually become pregnant that everything else seemed secondary. They were becoming mothers. That was all that mattered to them at that moment.
Carina could not explain it, but she had firmly believed that her genes would prevail.
Their daughter had other plans.
Fiona Mason was not born with full and dark hair, but with blonde downy hair and her blue eyes would remain blue. But Carina had inherited her beauty mark, her daughter carried her freckle, as Maya called it, in the same spot as she did. And she had also passed on her smile.
Maya and Carina loved their daughter from the first second. Their sunshine. Their happiness.
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Often Carina could not believe her happiness. A happiness she had fought so long and hard for. Together with Maya. Her Maya.
Their happiness, which grew even greater four years ago. All because of that little person in her arms.
Maya, Carina and Fiona.
Forever.