Giving blood, keeping faith

After they mated, Steve would always suit up for missions in Tony’s workshop. One part was because that’s where the his suit would be, after missions and after battles, for repairs and for Tony to add more improvements and changes to it. Another part, a larger part, was that Tony liked to see him suit up. According to Tony, it was second sexiest things he had ever seen in his life. The first was of course Steve taking off the suit, insert Tony’s dorky wink here.

Steve was more than happy to oblige. There were times when he would put on a show for Tony. And on those times, the suit up duration would always be exponentially longer because they would get sidetracked with making out. Most times, it was Tony helping him suiting up, handing him the body armor or one of his gloves, eyes hooded with desire the whole time. Steve would only be able to barely resist and the rest was history.

“I’m telling you, me redesigning your entire catalogue of suits was the best thing that ever happened to you. That nightmare Coulson made you wear the first time we met was a travesty. I’m sure I wasn’t the only who thought so.” Tony said from his position on his work desk, Ulysses on his lap with a pencil and drafting paper in his hand.

“Funny, I thought you would say that it was you, Tony Stark, that was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Steve donned his body armor over the undersuit, a lightweight fabric that allows for efficient body heat exchange and cooling.

“Well, obviously. We don’t need to state the obvious here, babe. Okay, fine, second best thing.” Tony conceded. God, how was Steve so handsome? All these years and he was still the best thing Tony had ever seen.

Steve winked at Tony and proceeded to complete suiting up. With the body armor on, he proceeded to stepped into the trousers. That done, he slid on the fingerless leather gloves he preferred for better handling of the shield. Steve was wearing the stealth suit, admittedly, his favorite version of the suits Tony made for him. It happened to be Tony’s favorite too. According to Tony, it brought out the blue in his eyes and made his hair shine even brighter than usual. 

“Now repeat to Babbo, what was the first law of thermodynamics again?” Tony asked Ulysses. He had been teaching Ulysses thermodynamics for the past week ever since discovering that Ulysses easily mastered the calculus and physics problems Tony and Bruce mock up for him. In an effort to keep the boy from getting bored, Tony thought maybe some classical thermodynamics, something simple that would keep him entertained.

“The internal energy of an isolated system is constant.”

“Very good.” Tony pinched his chubby cheek,  “And the first law of thermodynamics is basically a paraphrasing of what other law?”

Ulysses thought for awhile, brow scrunching up cutely, “Um, um...I know this one, Babbo.”

“I know you do, tesoro . I just told you this morning. What was it?”

“I know! Conservation energy!”

“Ideal gas law?”

“Pee vee equals n ar tee!”

“Very good! Good job, Uly!”

Ulysses giggled and clapped happily at a job well done, causing his little brother, Joe, to clap along with him from his spot in the play pen. The little boy looked amused by what his big brother and Babbo was doing.

"Oh, you want to join us too, Joey Bug?” Tony cooed at his son and was rewarded with a high pitched giggle and bright blue eyes, identical to Steve’s, fixed at his own brown ones followed by a squeal and the boy throwing up his arms to be lifted up.

Steve chuckled at the sight of his family. His heart bursting with love and affection for his mate and their children. He plucked Joe out of the playpen and settled the baby on his hips, pressing a kiss to his head. “You want to learn thermodynamics with Ulysses and Babbo too, sweetheart?”

“Maybe we’ll start with derivatives for Joey Bug over here.” Tony said, smiling at the two most important blondes in his life.

“I’m sure he’ll have mastered it by the time I get back from this mission.”

Tony smiled deprecatingly. At the reminder of Steve’s eminent departure he sobered up. Steve, Natasha, and Clint were leaving soon to hunt down some remnants of the decimated AIM organization that Tony, Rhodey and Pepper took down a long time ago. There were chatter going around about how some employees that survived took what was left behind of Maya Hansen’s Extremis formula and was now aiming to resurrect their organization from the ashes.

Of course the Avengers would not stand for that. Tony had wanted to go, take care of the problem himself. As the one who brought down Killian and his brigade of angry, fire breathing demented soldiers. But his current situation aka third pregnancy disqualified him from the job immediately. Steve instead said he would go, along with Natasha and Clint, to dismantle their operation.

It was planned to be a subtle and clandestine mission, hence the use of the stealth suit. And they didn’t expect it to be a long mission. Steve loathed to be away from Tony’s side on any normal day, but when Tony was pregnant with their third child, it felt wrong to be away from him for any reason at all. It was taking all of his will and conviction not to just leave the mission in Maria’s capable hand. Steve knew how important taking care of AIM and their twisted philosophy in scientific research and making sure they never experimented on anyone ever again was to Tony. And he was doing on behalf of his mate. If they had to separate for a little while, that was a price both of them were willing to pay no matter how much it grated on their instincts to stay close together.

“Hmm, I see your derivatives and raise it to differential equations.” Tony said, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“I’m sure you will,” Steve murmured, kissing Tony again, enjoying the closeness of his mate, the scent of their bond in his nose and the feel of Tony’s body against his. Steve deepened the kiss, wrapping his free hand around Tony’s waist, pulling Tony closer. He felt Tony’s lips opened under his, so pliant and receptive to his touches. His mate, his life, the reason for Steve’s existence.

Their moment of intimacy was interrupted by a squeal and Joe grabbing both of their cheeks and Ulysses running over to them, crashing into Steve’s legs, and demanding, “Kisses fo’ me too!”

Steve laughed then scooped Ulysses up with his other arm, so now he has two boys, one in each arm and kissed Ulysses’ cheek then Joe’s. The boy giggled then kissed his little brother's cheek much to Joe’s delight.

Tony looked at his boys, his heart swelling up in size with the love he felt for them. Tony still couldn’t believe he got to have it. A family, a mate who loved him unconditionally, two boys he adored and who adored him in return, and another child on the way. If he went back in time and told his younger self that in the future he would be mated to their childhood hero/crush, Captain America, and bore three children for said Captain, his younger self would laughed himself to death and told him to fuck off.

For awhile, Tony didn’t believe it either. His previous life was all about SI, parties and inventing new weaponry or equipments for SI’s bottom line. That shrapnel to the chest was a massive wake up call to him. It showed him just how he didn’t want his legacy to be. It showed him that he was meant more than creating something destructive. Though late, Tony did turn his life around. Then Steve and the Avengers entered his life, and any chances of him going back to his old life after these weird, loud, obnoxious but amazing people became his family became nonexistent.

Well, everything worked out in the end.

“I love you,” Tony whispered to Steve. He moved closer to his family, wrapping his arms around Steve and the boys, he kissed Steve once more. Then for his boys’ benefits kissed each of them on the cheek, “And I love you, my boys.”

Steve laid his forehead against his, eyes closed and solemn, as if he was committing Tony, Ulysses and Joe’s scent to his brain. As if sensing the gravity of the situation, the boys laid their heads on Steve’s shoulder, their nose tucked into Steve’s neck where his scent was strongest. Tony closed his eyes, reveling in the closeness and intimacy of his little family.

------

They stood on the helipad where the quinjet was waiting for Steve, Clint and Natasha to board. Ulysses looked sullen and upset once he realized that his Papa was leaving soon. Joe was a little bit more unaffected because he didn’t completely understand what was going on. He fell asleep on Steve’s shoulder on their way up, and Steve transferred him to Tony’s arms after one last kiss to his boy’s forehead.

Ulysses clutched at his boot and looked up at Steve with blue eyes brimming with tears, “How long will you be gone, Papa?” Tony had loosened his regulation on talking Italian only at home, ever since Ulysses started kindergarten and he became more exposed to speaking English. He would still talk in Italian to Ulysses and Ulysses had to answer back in Italian, but to everyone else he could now speak English.

“Maybe a week, buddy. I’ll try to be back sooner, though. I’d miss you too much.” Steve knelt down and stroke his fingers through Ulysses’ messy brown curls.

“‘Kay. Will you bring me back a souvenir?” Ulysses grinned, excited at the prospect of getting a present from his Papa.

Steve chuckled, “I’ll try, buddy. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to get you something good.”

“Yay!” Ulysses cheered, and moved to give a sloppy smooch on Steve’s lips, “Love you, Papa!” then ran over to where his Aunty Natasha and Uncle Clint were waiting.

“That was golden. Look at Stevie’s eyes!” Bucky grinned, looking at the picture he took of Steve and Ulysses. He tilted his phone to the side for Tony to see. Bucky managed to capture the moment Ulysses planted one on Steve, lips puckering up cutely and Steve was wide eyed and surprised.  

“Nice.” Tony snickered, “send that to the family group chat.”

“Done.”

Steve rolled his eyes at the two of them, standing back up and walking over to Tony. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t blow anything up while I’m away.” He kissed Tony and caressed his stomach, the bump was barely visible under the loose Iron Maiden shirt Tony was wearing.

“Not gonna blow up anything too big,” Tony teased.

“That’s as good as it’s gonna get.” Steve conceded, and with one last glance at Joe’s slumbering form he walked towards the Quinjet. Natasha and Clint were hugging Ulysses, promising him to bring back souvenirs too. Ulysses ran back to stand with Bucky and Tony, while the Quinjet prepared for take off.

They were gone in a flash, leaving their family behind for duty’s sake.

“Come on, little James.” Bucky said, “you want me to teach you how to play poker?”

Tony snorted, “Oh please, like you know how to play poker. You lose to Natasha all the time.”

“Well, she ain’t here, is she? This time I’ll win. What do you say, little James? You wanna learn how to lie and cheat?”

“Yeah! Wanna know how to lie and cheat!”

Tony face palmed, “Steve’s gonna have your hide for this.”

“Please. He cheats at poker more than any one of us ever do in a single game.”

“Hmm, yeah that’s true.” Tony conceded. Steve was competitive like no one Tony had ever met before and was a surprisingly sore loser when it came to stupid, meaningless competitions like Mario kart or Wii fit. It was amusing to say the least.

------

One Week Later

Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She’s got to love nobody)

P p p poker face, p p p poker face
(Muh muh muh muh)
P p p poker face, p p poker face
(Muh muh muh muh)

“Hey! Hey, guys!” Tony tried in vain to shout over the sound of Sam’s singing. Bucky was playing the guitar and Thor the drums. The three of them were playing Rock Band , Tony blamed Clint for this. First was Guitar Hero, now this. By now, The Avengers were basically just a bunch of overgrown teenage boys. And one badass girl who ruled over them all. These are the people tasked with protecting Earth from alien invasions. How reassuring. “This is very upsetting, you guys!”

Sam paused the game, causing the three of them to look Tony’s way. “Sam’s singing? I agree. But he insisted on singing.” Sam shot Bucky a dirty look and punched him on his fleshed arm.

“I’d like to see you try singing a Gaga song, grandpa. You wouldn’t last a chord.”

“Psh. Bring it, Bird brain.”

“No, not the singing. Although that’s upsetting too. No, I’m talking about Steve and the Wonder Twins. Has anyone heard anything from them? They haven’t given anyone a mission update in three days.”

The three Alphas shrugged, “You know how it is, Tony. Sometimes you just get caught up in the stakeout or something. I’m sure they’ll radio in soon. ‘Sides they’re supposed to be going in all sneaky and shit, right? Make sense for them to go dark for a bit.” Bucky told him.

“Hmm, I guess.” Tony conceded, still feeling unsure and worried because somehow something didn’t feel right this time.

“Don’t worry about it, Tony. It’s Steve. With Natasha and Clint, at that.” Thor tried to reassure him. The drum set looked comically small in his hands. It was a wonder the thing hasn’t been smashed to pieces by now. “They’re as indestructible as an infinity stone. They’ll be fine.”  

“Yeah, man. They’ll turn up, mission all done and demanding pizza and a Bacall movie marathon when they got home.” Sam added. “On that note,” Sam resumed the game and the music started again.

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me (I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love, if its not rough it isn't fun, fun

Tony fled to the workshop.

------

Tony didn’t think he was worrying too much. He was worrying the perfect amount, and it wasn’t because his instincts was going haywire with being pregnant and not having his mate beside him to calm down those instincts to nest and just huddle up with Steve in their bedroom.

It was also a critical moment in the pregnancy. They haven’t passed the 10 week mark so the chances of miscarriage was still high. They haven’t told anyone yet, not wanting to give anyone false hope or unnecessary excitement if everything fell through. Tony placed his hand on his stomach, rubbing it gently just like how Steve did when he was pregnant with the boys, but somehow it didn’t quite have the same comforting effect as it did when Steve was the one who gave him the rub. Tony tried to shake off his unease and focused on his boys who are here with him.  

Joe cooed from his high chair next to his work desk, the banana puree Tony gave him as his morning snack smeared all over his face. Joe seemed to not mind the mess though, he was having fun after Tony gave him free reign with the spoon while he did a bit of coding for the new StarkPhone operating system. Tony grinned at the adorable sight of his baby, banana mush covering his chubby cheeks.

“ You’re just the cutest little thing, aren’t you? ” Tony cooed at him, prompting Joe to squeal and bang his plastic spoon on the table. His bright smile reminded Tony so much of Steve. The blue eyes and the wispy blond hair were the least of their similarities. His nose was just like Steve’s, unlike Ulysses’ nose which was all Tony’s. The shape of his eyes and that jawline would someday be as sharp and regal as Steve’s. Ulysses would look like a brown haired Steve, but Joe would look like a mini Steve. Tony couldn’t wait.

“ Come on, little bug. Let’s go upstairs and clean up so we can go pick up Ulysses, yeah?” Tony pulled him up from the chair and settled him on his hip. They went back up to the common room where it was blessedly quiet, for once, the guys have stopped playing Rock Band and was now off at God knew where. Tony cleaned up Joe then went downstairs to the garage and load Joe up in the minivan. Once done, Tony hopped in to the driver’s seat and head off to Ulysses’ kindergarten.

His baby boy was waiting on the sidewalk with the chaperone and his fellow classmates, all waiting to be picked up by their own parents. Ulysses was holding a pile of papers, looking very adorable in his Hulk t-shirt and baby jeans. His face brightened up as he spotted his Babbo’s car. Ulysses bounded up to the passenger door and waited obediently for Tony to open the sliding door.

“ Hi, Uly. How was school today? ” Tony asked him, getting out of the car to take Ulysses’ backpack and buckle him up in the carseat.

“ It was fun, Babbo! We drew pictures and made macaroni art. I told Ms. Hawkins that we eat a lot of macaroni at home because we’re I-talians and Iwish.”

Tony laughed and buckled the boy in and he sat cutely in his carseat, “ To be fair, nowadays Italians aren’t the only ones who eat pasta, Uly bear.”

“Oh okay. But we can still eat pasghetti for dinner?”

“Of course, darling.” Tony smiled at him, “ you wanna go play in the park before we go home?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright, munchkin. Here we go.”

Tony set off to drive to Prospect Park in Brooklyn, where he and Steve usually took the boys to. It was located in a quiet neighborhood, not too far from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan but so far no paparazzi has managed to get a photo of him and Steve bringing the boys there. The boys also loved it there because there was a Captain America monument erected to commemorate the 100th year anniversary of Steve’s final mission, the one that caused him to remain in suspended animation for 70 years, much to Steve’s embarrassment. The team liked to go to the statue (incognito) and take silly pictures with it. They had a running competition on who could take the silliest, most outrageous picture with the statue. So far it’s a tie between Bucky and Clint.

When they got there, there were people milling around with their children, jogging, walking their dogs or just walking around the park enjoying the warm Spring weather. There were people, most likely tourists, taking picture with the Captain America monument. Ulysses excitedly ran towards the monument, eager to see his Papa’s statue, Tony following sedately behind pushing Joe’s stroller. Ulysses stopped near the statue, politely waiting until the people taking pictures were finished before bouncing up and greeting the statue.

“Hi, Papa!” the people gathered around them giggled at Ulysses’ antics. Joe started clapping as he saw his father’s likeness on the bronze statue before him and started squirming and whining to be let out of the stroller so he could be closer to the statue.

“ Alright, hold your horses, little bug. I’ll get you out of there .” Tony obligingly unclasped Joe from the stroller and lift him up so he could be closer to eye level with the Captain America statue.

“That’s my Papa!” Ulysses proudly proclaimed to the crowd, before Tony could prevent him from blurting it out. The gathered people clearly thought Ulysses was joking, though, and just laughed at him, dismissing his claims as a joke.

“Hahaha, kids you know? So imaginative.” Tony tried to laugh it off with the crowd, but he felt like the expression on his face was closer to a grimace than a smile. Thank God nobody took Ulysses seriously or their covers might be blown. As it was nobody glanced twice at them as they just looked like an omega and his two children at the park even if the omega in question kinda looked like Tony Stark. But then again, Tony Stark wouldn’t be caught dead going outside in loose sweatpants and a Motorhead t-shirt, right?

Ulysses wanted to go on the jungle gym that was installed on the park much to Tony’s immense relief. He climbed the slide and was having fun with the other kids playing there too. Tony and Joe went to sit on the bench nearby, keeping an eye on Ulysses. Joe seemed to be as hyped up as his older brother, his big blue eyes taking in the park scenery while he gnawed on Tony’s fingers. He’s been seeking for things to chew a lot these days, his teething days might be coming soon.

Once Ulysses was satisfied enough with playing at the park and tired out, Tony ushered him back to the minivan, buckled him up and drove back to the Tower. Since it was time for his afternoon snack, Tony gave Ulysses a bag of Goldfish crackers for him to munch on. On their way home, Tony started to hear cooing sounds from the backseat and saw that Ulysses was trying to share his afternoon snack with his little brother.

“ Here you go, Joe. Goldfish is my favorite and it should be your favorite too.”

Joe looked on curiously at the fish shaped cracker on his hand, then closed his fist around it and gleefully waved it around.

“Noooo, you’re s’pposed to eat it, Joe. ” Ulysses chided his little brother, who was still cluelessly waving around a piece of cheese cracker in his hand. “ Babbooo...Joe won’t eat his snack. ”

“ He’s too young for Goldfish, baby. He doesn’t have teeth yet. He can’t chew it.” Tony explained to him.

“ Oh, okay. ” Ulysses pondered the new information, “ I guess he can play with it then. ”

“ But thank you for sharing your food, Uly. You’re such a good big brother, ” Tony complimented him. His heart feeling like it’s growing in size as he saw how sweet and caring Ulysses was towards his little brother. He glanced down surreptitiously at his still flat stomach, where the boys’ newest sibling was growing at the moment. Tony couldn’t wait to welcome this newest member of their family and how much he was looking forward to see how his boys would react to having a new baby brother or sister.

They reached the Tower soon enough, traffic was blessedly empty. Tony expertly unbuckled both kids and ushered Ulysses to the waiting elevator, courtesy of JARVIS.

“JARVIS, do we have the ingredients to make spaghetti?” Tony asked, bouncing Joe up and down on his hips to entertain the baby.

“Yes, Sir. Although I’m afraid you wouldn’t be too concerned with making dinner tonight, Sir.”

What? “What? What are you saying, J?”

JARVIS’ response was lost when the elevator dinged signaling their arrival at the Penthouse. Sam, Bucky, Bruce and Thor were all gathered in the living room, they look distraught and afraid, something Tony never thought he would see on them what with their default attitude of “laughing in the face of death”. Sam seemed to be in the middle of a striding to the kitchen when he stopped and spotted Tony and the boys exiting the elevator.

“Oh, thank God, you’re back! We tried calling you so many times!”

“What?” Tony patted his hands down his pants, before realizing that he left his phone in the workshop in his haste to pick up Ulysses from school, “I left my phone down at the workshop. Sorry, guys. What is it? Why does everyone looked like they just found out that they have zero chance of being Nat’s mate?” Tony laughed at his own joke. It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.  

“No, Tony.” Bruce replied, his tone solemn, “there’s been an accident.”

“What accident? Whose accident?”

They wouldn’t be eating spaghetti tonight, after all.

------

It turned out that AIM wasn’t performing human experimentations after all. They saw other potential from Extremis, that was they saw the potential to turn their failures into success. If they couldn’t stabilize the Extremis serum then why not just let it destabilize and build a weapon based on what happened when Extremis broke down?

So they created a new type of explosive, able to incinerate and turn solid objects in their blast radius into dust. As destructive as a nuclear weapon but with none of the toxic side effects of radiation. The weapons research and development phase had been going pretty well. At least until Captain America, Black Widow and Hawkeye burst into their facility to shut down their research and stop them from developing enough bombs to be deployed.

In the struggle, one of the scientists activated one of the finished bomb prototypes causing the facility to be blown to smithereens. Clint and Natasha managed to round up most of the scientists and was out of the warehouse before the blast occurred. They only sustained minor injuries, scratches and bruises on their faces and bodies.

The same couldn’t be said for Steve.

Steve didn’t escape fast enough from the warehouse and so he was well within the blast radius when the bomb finally detonated. Natasha and Clint watched in horror and disbelief as the warehouse went up in flames, ashes and dust left in its wake, charred bodies littering the grounds.

“Oh God…” Natasha whispered, calling out for a God she didn’t believe in but helpless not to, “Steve…”

They ran towards ground zero, hoping for something, anything that signalled Steve’s survival. They couldn’t imagine coming back home with Steve in a body bag. That would kill their pack. That would kill Tony.

“Nat! Over here!” Clint called out to her. Natasha ran over to where Clint was kneeling on the ground. In front of him was the unconscious body of their pack leader. Steve lay unconscious on the ground, his shield fastened firmly to his back. His stealth suit covering one side of his body, keeping it protected. The other side, however, was completely decimated in the blast and as a result, Steve suffered burn wounds to the left side of his body. If Natasha had to estimate, it was a third degree burn taking away the skin from his face all the way to his groin.

“Is he--” she couldn’t say the words, couldn’t even bring herself to think it.

“He’s still breathing. Still alive.” Clint whispered, face close to Steve’s nose and mouth, “Fucking superserum did what it’s supposed to do.”

Natasha sighed in relief, “Right. That’s good. We need to radio in. Steve won’t last long even with the serum.”

Clint nodded in assent and reached for the thankfully intact communicator, connecting them to the Avengers facility and calling for a quinjet to airlift them out, telling them to bring an emergency medical crew with them because Captain America was in critical condition.

------

“How the fuck did this happen?!” Tony demanded for the thousandth time as they waited in the medical bay of the Avengers facility for Natasha, Clint and Steve to finally arrive. No one would tell him the extent of Steve’s injuries only that he was in need of emergency medical assistance, which was few and far in between for Steve. His accelerated healing meant that he rarely needed medical assistance, much less an emergency one. And Steve would always want to avoid a visit to Medical, preferring to let his body heal itself as opposed to letting people poke and prod him.  

“We’ll know soon enough, Tony.” Bruce tried to placate him, but his furrowed brow betrayed his conciliatory tone. He was just as anxious and worried as Tony was. “Nat and Clint didn’t specify what type of injury Steve sustained, but they’ll be here soon enough. The tracker estimates 15 minutes.”

Tony sighed and ran his hands through his hair roughly in desperation. He hated not knowing, and most of all he hated not knowing whether Steve was okay or not. He had put the boys down for the night, JARVIS watching over them and rushed to the med bay and for the last two hours had been waiting with Bruce, Thor, Bucky, Sam and Maria for Steve, Clint and Natasha’s arrival.

Bucky was nervously chewing on his cuticles, a nervous habit that he never really let go of from his younger years and Sam sat next to him, arms crossed and leg bouncing up and down in agitation. Only Thor seemed calm, his presence and bulk a source of comfort for the rest of them. He sat next to Bruce, and when he thought no one was looking he would place his hand on Bruce’s shoulder and gently rubbed it in an effort to calm the scientist down.

Tony observed it with minute surprise. Seemed like he and Steve weren’t the only ones with a secret to share.

The sound of the Quinjet approaching startled them all out of their reverie. Tony rushed out of the medbay to the landing pad, eager to see his mate again. He arrived at the landing pad just as the Quinjet landed and had to wait for a couple minutes before the hatch opened. Once it did, however, Tony was puzzled at the sight of a medical crew escorting a gurney, complete with an IV pole attached to it. Was that for Steve? Man, Steve must have been complaining the whole journey back about what he must felt like an unnecessary precaution to his injuries.

Tony rushed to meet the gurney, wanting to see and talk to Steve. Tony opened his mouth to chide and tease Steve only to stop in his tracks when he saw what was laid up on the gurney. If it wasn’t for the silver star on his chest, Tony wouldn’t have recognized him. It was Steve, he was sure of it, but it was only half of Steve. The left side of his face and his body was covered in blood, red, it was red everywhere. There were no more skin covering his body to speak of.  Steve was suffering from third degree burns on his face, his chest, all the way down to his leg. For lack of a better word, he looked like Harvey Dent after the explosion that turned him into Two-Face.

“Steve…” Tony gasped out, helplessly. He could feel a rising wave of panic and anxiety building up inside of him. “Is he--”

“He’s still alive, Mr. Stark. But we have to get him to the operating room stat.” the emergency med crew told him not unkindly.

“But he-- he’s--” Tony felt a lump in his throat, there was something blocking his windpipe. He reached out to touch Steve’s intact hand, needing to ground himself with his mate’s touch, but the med crew stopped him.

“Mr. Stark, please. We have to move now. You can come and wait outside of the operating room.” then they hustled away, carrying Steve’s gurney with them and leaving Tony behind.

As they passed the other Avengers, Tony could trace the exact moment they saw Steve’s disfigured form from the way their eyes blew wide open in shock and mortification. He felt Clint and Natasha stepping out of the Quinjet, solemn and stoic behind him. Tony didn’t want to see them, because he knew if he did then he would falsely blame them for coming home whole and healthy while Steve looked the way he was.

“Steve…” Tony gasped out again. His Steve, his mate looked half dead. He wasn’t responding to any outside stimuli. God knew how long he’d been like that, his insides unprotected from the elements, how much pain he was suffering right now. Tony had to be with him. If he had to break protocol and barge in through the operating room door, he would.

Tony moved to follow the med crew, but a sharp pain in his abdomen stopped him in his tracks. Tony hissed in pain, clutching at his stomach as the pain intensified. Natasha and Clint rushed to him, holding him up and he clutched at them.

“Ah!” Tony cried out.

“Tony, what is it?” Natasha asked him.

“My stomach...hurts…” Tony slurred out. He looked down at the floor and saw that there was a trickle of blood coming out of his pants. “Oh no…”

And darkness swallowed him whole.

------

When Tony woke up again, he was laying down on a hospital bed. The sound of machines beeping, keeping track of his pulse was the only sound in the room. Tony allowed a few moments to collect himself, trying to remember the chain of events that led him to this hospital bed.

Steve. Hurt. Blood. So much blood. Pain. Darkness.

Tony jerked up in his hospital bed as he remembered what happened. Steve. Steve was hurt, badly. They were going to operate on him. And Tony needed to be there. Needed to be with his mate. To comfort him, to hold his hand, to make sure that Steve knew he wasn’t going to go under again. No, not as long as Tony was alive.

“Tony, you need to settle down,” a hand was pushing back, urging him to lay back down on the bed. Tony fought it, batting it away and scooting forward to get off from the bed. “Tony, seriously, stay down. You don’t want to make me angry.”

It was Bruce. Of course, it was Bruce. He was the only one, other than Steve, who could handle his eccentricities and his outlandish behavior when something bad occurred.

“Bruce, no...you don’t understand. I have to go to Steve. I have to be with him…” Tony pleaded. Bruce was pushing him back down to the bed, his eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed like he’d been crying.

“You can’t, Tony. They’re still operating on him, cleaning his wounds then putting on skin grafts on him.”

“What about-- the anesthetics? You have to tell them, Bruce. You have to--” Tony didn’t want Steve to be pulled under again. Not like what happened after the fall of SHIELD.

“I did, Tony, okay? I gave them our calculations. They know better than the doctors at Walter Reed. Besides you’re in no condition to be walking.”

“What are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine, Bruce.”

“You’re not, Tony. You almost had a miscarriage. You’re on bedrest for now.”

What?

“Miscarriage?” Tony deflated at that, all the fight went out of his body and he slumped backwards onto the bed.

“Yeah. There was some internal bleeding, but thankfully the embryo survived.” Bruce sighed. He took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It hasn’t passed the first trimester yet. We were waiting. For the right time.”

Bruce nodded in understanding and placed his hand on Tony’s. “He’ll be okay, Tony. The serum will do its job.”

“You don’t know that, Bruce. What if-- what if this was the one thing the serum can’t fix? You saw him earlier. He--” Tony gasped, “oh God, please Bruce, I have to get out of here. I have to be with him, please. Even if it’s just at the observation room, I have to be there, please.” Tony pleaded again with his friend, “he’s my life.”

“Okay, Tony. I’ll get you a wheelchair. And that’s non-negotiable, okay?”

“You’re the best, Bruce.” Tony smiled tremulously.

“Steve’s the best for you. But I’ll take second place gracefully.” Bruce smiled softly before he went to fetch said wheelchair.

Together, they managed to find their way to the observation room above the operating theatre where their family was gathered. Natasha and Clint stood stoically facing the operating room. Natasha had a bandage wrapped around her head while Clint had one wrapped around his left arm. Sam stood next to him, face stern and arms crossed. Bucky looked like he was praying,  hands clutching a rosary and eyes closed. Thor nervously ran his hand through his hair, it was the only time Tony had ever seen the God of Thunder looked nervous or even fearful. Someone, and Tony thought that it might be Clint, had been kind enough to bring the boys over and set up a sleeping area for them. Ulysses and Joe were likely moved here without ever waking up for a second. They were sleeping soundly on a futon in the corner of the room.

“What are they doing now?” Tony asked as Bruce wheeled him into the room. Everyone’s head whipped around at the sound of his voice and started throwing out questions at him.

“Tony! Are you okay!”

“Oh my God, you scared us, you asshole!”

“You’re pregnant, and you didn’t tell us! How could you! I thought we’re family!”

“Guys, guys, guys,” Tony held up his hand, trying to placate them, “I’m fine. Just a little bit of a scare back there. I’m okay, now. And yes, I’m pregnant. Again. And we didn’t tell you because we haven’t passed the first trimester yet, okay?”

That seemed to calm them down as they settled back down to their original position. Natasha smiled softly at him and squeezed his shoulder. She looked tired and downtrodden, Clint too. His usual mischievous nature was notably absent from his gaze and his demeanour.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Tony started, “it’s nobody’s fault but whoever detonated the bomb. Steve wouldn’t want you to blame yourselves. Let it go.”

Natasha looked at him for a long time, then nodded at him imperceptibly. She then walked over to where the boys were sleeping and scooped up her godson and cuddled him close to her bosom. They fell asleep together like that.  

“I can’t believe you just quoted Frozen.” Clint said. He sounded annoyed, but the mirth in his eyes were back, so Tony counted that as a win.

“I can’t believe you knew that was from Frozen.”

“How can anyone not know?” Sam piped in. Ulysses and Joe were on a Disney phase, which meant they have been forced to watch Disney movies, from the classics all the way to the new ones. They’ve had to watch Frozen more than most because both Uly and Joe were fascinated with the snow, much to Steve’s dismay, although Tony had successfully transitioned them to slowly letting go of Frozen and moving on to Moana. It was the better of the two movies anyway.

“Are they almost done?” Tony gestured to the operating room below them.

“They just finished cleaning the down twenty minutes ago. Starting on the skin grafts now.” Bucky chimed in. “God, Stevie, what have you gotten yourself into that you need skin grafts? This is even worse than the time he picked a fight with a Klan member and got his jaw fucked up.” he shook his head in dismay.

Well, that was new. Tony had to remember to ask Steve to tell him that story sometime soon.

“It’s okay, Bucky. Skin grafts are standard procedure on burn victims. And with Steve’s enhanced healing, he should have an even better prognosis than the usual patients.” Bruce reassured him.

Bucky seemed placated with Bruce’s explanation. Tony kept his gaze trained on the operating room below them. The surgeons have started rolling out a sheet of clear membrane, almost like plastic, and wrapped them around Steve’s rehydrated torso. The blood and sinew that were covering Steve had been flushed away, leaving his flesh exposed to the environment. Someone had shaved his head, his intact blond hair on the other side of his head gone to match the other side where all the hair was burned off in the explosion. Tony watched as they slowly covered Steve’s body with the skin grafts. Little by little, Steve’s exposed flesh was covered by the graft. Tony didn’t know he was holding his breath as he watched the surgeons finalized the graft placement. Only when they declared that the graft has been absorbed and incorporated by the serum as part of foundation to reconstruct Steve’s new skin did they breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Steve would be okay. They would still get to have their fearless, stubborn, irreplaceable pack leader.

------

Steve regained consciousness slowly, like trying to swim to the surface but in a pool of molasses, instead of water. His head felt heavy, he felt like he was in a haze, not unlike when he first woke up from his coma after he first encountered the Winter Soldier and his whole body was sore. What the hell happened?

There was a warm weight on his hand, holding his hand in their own, and Steve took comfort in its presence, tethering him to the real world so he wouldn’t slip back down under again. He couldn’t feel his limbs. Correction: he could feel some of his limbs. He could move his right hand, move them to squeeze the hand that was in his eliciting a gasp from the other person, but he couldn’t do the same with his left hand. What’s going on?

Steve tried to open his eyes, but could only successfully open his right eye. His left eye remained stubbornly closed, no matter what he tried. Steve started to panic. The frantic beeping sounds he heard suited his own erratic heart beats. A beautiful voice, a beloved sound, filtered through his chaotic thoughts, soothing him, trying to settle him down.

“Steve, Steve! Sssh, darling. It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re alright, Steve. I’m here, I’m here with you, beloved.”

Tony. It was Tony. That lovely voice, that beautiful face, that mesmerizing scent. It could be none other than Steve’s mate, the center of his universe.

“T’ny…” he rasped out, “wha’s goin’ on…” why can’t he talk? His throat hurt like a thousand needles were piercing it at the same time.

“You got hurt on the mission, my love. AIM made a new type of bomb and you were caught up in the blast.”

That’s it? He’d been caught up in a blast before, but it never left him feeling like he just got back to the mortal world after fighting Cerberus down in Tartarus. “And?”

Tony paused at his question, he looked up and down at Steve’s body then steeled himself to answer, “You suffered from third degree burns, Steve. The left side of your body, there’s basically no more skin left. The medical team had to graft new skin to your left side. You’re still healing, baby, that’s why you can’t move your arms and your left eye. We didn’t think you would wake up until after the regeneration process was complete. But of course, you always had to prove us wrong, don’t you?” Tony chuckled and pressed a light kiss to his forehead.  

Well, that-- that was not what Steve expected.

“How long…” Steve trailed off, certain Tony knew what he was asking.

“Two weeks now. Your torso and your groin has mostly finished regenerating. We’re waiting on your hand and your face now. It’s a slow process, but we’re getting there, honey. We just have to be patient.”

Steve closed his eyes, resigning himself to a temporary fate of paralysis, counting on Tony for every single thing he would need. It gnawed at him, being helpless again. The serum should have taken care of that, should have spared him the indignity of being an invalid again. Now, he was just a burden on Tony, on their family, when he was supposed to be the Alpha, the pack leader. The one to carry the burden, not being one.

“Hey,” Tony softly stroked his cheekbone, “don’t you be thinking that you’re being a burden on us. We’re a family, Steve, a team. And we support each other, no matter what. You won’t think I was a burden if I were the one who was hurt, would you?”

“No,” Steve gasped out, “never a burden.”

“And that’s how we feel about you, big guy. You’re never a burden to us. We’re here for you. I’m here for you. And the boys are here for you. They’ve missed you so much, Steve.”

“Miss them too. Miss you, Tony.”

“I miss you too, mio caro .” Tony pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips, taking care not to disturb the graft on the other side, “I was so scared. When I saw on the gurney. I-- I’ve never seen you so still and silent before, Steve. I thought you’ve left me.”

“Never...fight death myself…”

Tony chuckled at that, “I’ll take your word for it, soldier.”

Steve clutched tighter at the hand in his grasp, drawing strength from Tony’s presence next to him. Tony was right, he wasn’t a burden. They were a family, a pack. They carry each other’s burden and support each other.

------

To say that Steve was a terrible patient would be an understatement of the century. The serum gave him increased metabolism, which also meant increased energy, and being confined to a bed was not doing him any good, even though it was needed for him to heal from his injuries. Compounded to this was his long held complex of inadequacy and guilt, and you’ve got yourself one grumpy super soldier patient.

So Steve was sullen, snappish and moody for most of his recovery. Most of the Avengers avoided him, or only visited for short intervals. If they did visit, they would be carrying one of the boys in their arms because having the boys around seemed to appease Steve’s moodiness. He wouldn’t snap at them as much if they were holding one of the boys.

Tony seemed to take it all in stride. In a complete reversal to what occurred when Tony was pregnant with Joe, Steve was the one on bedrest now while Tony was allowed to work and go about his days as usual. Other than the miscarriage scare at the beginning of the pregnancy, everything was going swimmingly with the third (and last, Tony told Steve) pregnancy.

They were still at the Avengers facility, because it was still too risky to move and expose Steve to the outside world where pathogens and bacteria were aplenty. So the Avengers moved upstate for the remainder of Steve’s recovery, going to the Tower only to grab the necessities.

It was lunch time and since Steve still couldn’t move his left hand, Tony had been the one feeding him his breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between. Steve vacillated between embarrassed and delighted at how much Tony was catering to his every whim.

“I should be the one taking care of you. Not the other way around,” Steve said sullenly, gesturing at the bump of Tony’s stomach.

“Well, you took care of me for the last two. Time for a change of pace, don’t you think?” Tony spooned some broth to Steve’s mouth, and his mate obediently opened his mouth to accept the food Tony offered.

“I guess. It just feels...weird.” Steve murmured, “it’s going against all of my instincts to just sit here and not, you know, provide for you and the little guy.”

“Steve, hon, we’re not in the paleolithic era anymore. I can totally provide for myself.” Tony countered, “our relationship hasn’t exactly been the conventional relationship society called for. For example, I, as the omega, am older than you, not counting the years you spent as a popsicle,” Steve gave him a look, “also, I have more money than you. I make more money than you or anyone else in our pack and our society always said that the Alpha should be the breadwinner of the pack, yet here we are with the omega breadwinner. None of these things ever bothered you before, so being sick for a little bit and having your pregnant omega take care of you for a change shouldn’t bother you either.”

“I know,” Steve sighed, “you’re right. I guess I just hate feeling useless. You still have to take care of your work with SI and the Avengers, on top of taking care of me and the boys. I usually help you with those stuff and now I can’t.”

“Don’t worry about it, Steve. Just focus on getting better,” Tony kissed him, “I’m good at multitasking. It’ll be fun. It’ll be like college again with all the homeworks and projects I need to do at the same time. Minus the drinking and the parties, of course.”

Steve placed his uninjured hand behind Tony’s neck, pulling him closer and prolonging their kiss. “I love you. I love you so much. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you,”

Tony smiled softly at him and pressed another kiss to his lips, “I know.”

“Did you just Han Solo me? Really, Tony? Here I am, recovering from third degree burns and my own mate Han Solo’d me.”

Tony laughed and giggled helplessly at Steve’s words, Steve pressing kisses all over his face. They’ll be okay, Steve just needed the right words and motivation to keep him out of his self-induced funk. And Tony knew just all the right words to say. He and Steve were two sides of the same coin, after all. 

But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here
Wait it out
Going to wait it out
Be patient