On Top Of The World (or off of it in any case)
Anti looked up as Dark and Patton of all people appeared in the living room.
“Y̷o̶.̸”
|I need you to get a hit out on someone as soon as they get to Earth.|
He blinked a few times before giving a mental shrug as he set aside his coca cola zero sugar same great taste now with a bit of added vanilla. “A̵l̷r̵i̴g̴h̷t̶.̷ ̵D̶e̷t̶a̵i̶l̸s̵?̴”
“You know the chitauri attack in 2012? He was basically the one behind that. And Loki for round two- he’s meaning to destroy half of the universe, basically.”
|He’s on his way.|
“W̵a̴s̸ ̸t̷h̶a̵t̶ ̷w̸h̸a̶t̵ ̵t̵h̷o̷s̷e̴ ̵d̸o̴n̸u̶t̴ ̷t̴h̸i̸n̵g̴s̶ ̶w̵e̶r̵e̵?̶ ̵A̸l̸r̵i̴g̵h̶t̴-̶ ̸h̶e̴y̵ ̶R̷o̸b̶,̷ ̸c̸a̴n̴ ̴y̷o̴u̶ ̴g̵i̷v̴e̵ ̸m̶e̸ ̴a̸ ̸c̴o̸m̴ ̸l̶i̴n̷e̴ ̵t̷o̷ ̸t̴h̶e̸ ̵G̸o̶o̷g̸l̶e̸s̸?̷”
The zombie in question barely paused in his scooping of Jello to toss one at him.
“T̴h̸a̴n̷k̴s̸ ̸b̴u̵d̸.̸ ̴O̴k̷a̵y̶…̸ ̷N̸e̸w̴ ̸Y̸o̴r̴k̸.̸ ̶S̵w̶e̴e̸t̴.̷ ̸I̶ ̷c̶a̴n̶ ̷b̶u̴g̵ ̸D̷u̴m̵b̷l̷e̵d̸o̵r̵e̵ ̶o̷n̸ ̵m̸y̸ ̸w̶a̸y̶.̸ ̴C̴a̷n̴ ̴I̸ ̶g̷e̶t̴ ̶a̵ ̵n̶a̷m̴e̵ ̸f̸o̸r̶ ̸G̴o̵o̶g̵s̷ ̴o̸r̶-̷?̴”
“|Thanos.|”
A few blinks before a nod. “A̵l̶r̶i̷g̴h̷t̴.̷ ̷O̷l̷i̴v̴e̴r̴,̵ ̶y̵o̴u̵ ̵h̷e̶a̵r̵d̵ ̷t̶h̵e̴ ̵p̶e̴a̷n̷u̴t̷ ̵g̶a̴l̶l̸e̷r̶y̸.̶ ̵L̶e̷m̴m̴e̶ ̷j̵u̴s̴t̶ ̵g̸e̸t̶ ̵m̸y̴ ̸k̵n̶i̷v̴e̶s̵…̸”
With a flicker of pixels he disappeared into his room to get his bag.
A few minutes he appeared just long enough to grab a water bottle and salute before disappearing again, this time to New York.
Marvin suddenly let out a groan from the corner.
|What?|
“He was going to make lasagna for dinner… damn it.”
-----------
Anti was very, very glad that Schneep had thrown a thing of jerky into his bag.
With a muffled curse he glitched towards the ship, watching Sorcerer Dude and Squidward float in. Damn.
Guess he’d be going on a bit of a ride.
----------
“Anti’s gone off-planet. Just wanted to let you know that things went to hell but he should be fine.”
Groans from every part of the room.
“You have to be kidding me.”
“He did VHAT?!” Schneep looked pissed. Nobody could really blame him.
“He also says thanks for the jerky, Henrik.” Chase let out a half-laugh half-groan as he set his phone back on the table and picked up his fork to dig into the oven-lasagna.
Anti’s was better.
----------
“F̶u̵c̷k̷ ̶t̴h̶i̷s̵ ̵s̴h̵i̷t̶.̶ ̶F̶u̸c̸k̵ ̷i̸t̵ ̵s̵o̵ ̷M̷U̶U̷C̴H̵-̸”
He stopped in the vents face-to-face with a superhero.
One that he recognized. Inner fanboy: activated. No- wait- you’re gonna make a fool of yourself stop it-
“Y̵o̴.̸” On thank god.
“Who are you?!”
“I̶n̸t̵e̶r̴e̵s̴t̴e̵d̵ ̷t̸h̷i̶r̸d̴ ̶p̷a̵r̵t̵y̷.̸ ̴S̴t̴o̵w̶a̷w̷a̶y̷ ̵I̷ ̶t̸a̵k̵e̶ ̷i̴t̷?̸”
“Please don’t tell Mr. Stark! If he knows I’m here he’d kill me!”
“N̸a̷h̸,̶ ̶t̷h̵a̷t̴’̸d̶ ̴b̷e̵ ̵h̷y̴p̶o̵c̴r̴i̷t̷i̴c̷a̸l̶.̵” Then he heard a scream and sighed. “L̴e̷t̶’̵s̸ ̴g̴o̴ ̷s̴a̸v̶e̵ ̷u̵s̸ ̶a̶ ̴w̸i̵z̶a̷r̴d̸.̵”
----------
A single knife managed to take care of the problem pretty well. Well, that and an airlock.
“Oh this is bullshit. You’re here too? And you brought the kid?!”
“A̵)̷ ̸Y̵o̷.̷ ̶B̵)̸ ̵N̶o̸.̵ ̷C̶)̸ ̴I̵’̶m̴ ̴h̶e̵r̵e̸ ̵t̸o̶ ̷k̷i̷l̵l̵ ̵T̵h̴a̶n̷o̷s̴,̴ ̷n̴o̷t̵ ̸p̴l̴a̶y̴ ̶n̸i̶c̷e̵.̸”
“How did you even get here?”
Strange sighed obnoxiously. “Can you not be here?”
“N̸o̴p̵e̷.̵ ̵G̵o̸t̵ ̷a̴ ̶j̷o̸b̸.̸ ̵I̴f̶ ̵I̷ ̶d̶o̶ ̵i̷t̵ ̵I̵’̷l̶l̵ ̸s̴a̶v̶e̸ ̵h̴a̶l̶f̵ ̷t̵h̶e̷ ̸w̸o̵r̶l̷d̵ ̸a̵n̵d̶ ̷g̶e̸t̴ ̸c̶o̵o̸k̶i̶e̶s̷.̷ ̶A̸s̵ ̶f̴o̸r̵ ̴h̴o̶w̴ ̶I̵ ̵g̸o̷t̷ ̶h̴e̸r̶e̷,̷ ̸t̶h̵a̷t̶’̵l̵l̷ ̸b̵e̸ ̴a̸ ̸s̷u̸r̴p̶r̵i̷s̶e̵.̴”
“Wait, are you a hitman?!”
“I̴t̵’̶s̴ ̶c̷o̵m̴p̵l̵i̷c̷a̷t̸e̵d̵.̸ ̶W̶e̶’̶v̸e̸ ̵g̴o̷t̶ ̵c̵o̶m̴p̵a̶n̸y̵.̴”
Lovely. More people.
----------
“I have a plan.”
Oh really?
“Like… 12 percent of a plan.”
God dammit.
So he was crouched behind a rock waiting for Thanos to show. Lovely.
Hmm. Cut off the arm and then the head-
Hey, wait a minute.
“̶W̷h̶y̵ ̵h̴a̷v̸e̷n̴’̷t̶ ̴y̵o̷u̷ ̷j̶u̷s̴t̸ ̴p̷o̷r̶t̶a̴l̴e̶d̶ ̴t̷h̵e̵ ̷g̴l̸o̶v̶e̸ ̸o̸f̴f̸ ̸h̷i̵s̷ ̴w̴r̸i̵s̶t̵?̷”
“Shh. He’s coming.”
Idiots, the lot of them.
Alright. A carving knife might get through that arm...
Hey, could he get JJ’s axe? It was pretty far away, but he could at least use it as a distraction if he needed it.
Or even better-
He disappeared and reappeared at home, grabbing the axe off it’s pegs above the doorway.
“B̴o̴r̷r̶o̶w̶i̴n̶g̶ ̷t̶h̶i̸s̵,̶ ̵I̸’̷l̵l̸ ̶b̷r̸i̴n̵g̸ ̸i̸t̵ ̶b̶a̵c̵k̷.̵”
He was gone before JJ could do anything but look up.
---------
He reappeared just as Thanos and Strange were talking.
A single throw of the axe-
Bye-bye arm.
He glitched behind and cut off his head before he could scream.
Everyone else looked mildly shock and/or disgusted.
He gave the body a little nudge with his foot, resisting the urge to t-bag it. That was unprofessional.
“D̶o̸ ̴y̸o̵u̸ ̸w̷a̷n̴t̸ ̴a̶ ̷r̴i̸d̴e̴ ̴h̸o̴m̵e̶?̶”
“What.”
“WHAT?!”
“WhaaaaaaaT?! That was awesome! I mean- killing, bad- noooo, but AWESOME!”
He smirked and gave a little bow. “T̵h̵a̵n̷k̸ ̵y̵o̸u̴.̷ ̴N̵o̵w̸-̴ ̸d̵o̵ ̵y̴o̴u̴ ̶w̴a̷n̸t̴ ̸a̸ ̸r̷i̸d̶e̵ ̸h̸o̸m̴e̸?̵”
Strange answered by opening a portal. Tony looked between the two before stepping through the portal. The guardians followed.
He sighed and shrugged, shouldering the axe.
That was fine.
At least he get home in time to make lasagna for tomorrow.
He disappeared in a swirl of pixels and glitches.
----------
“H̴e̷’̸s̵ ̵d̵e̵a̵d̸.̸”
JJ took the axe from him and stared cleaning it off.
“Already? Nice.”
“O̸n̸l̵y̷ ̸t̸o̸o̶k̴ ̵l̷i̸k̷e̷ ̶t̸w̴o̵ ̷m̷i̷n̶u̶t̶e̶s̶.̴ ̸A̷n̷y̴ ̸l̵a̷s̵a̴g̴n̵a̶ ̴l̵e̵f̸t̸?̸”
“Yeah. Not as good as yours though.”
“Eh, I’ll suck it up and deal. Dark’ll want me to debrief him, so I’ll eat it when I get back.”
“Say hi for us!”
“C̸a̵n̶ ̶d̴o̶.̴”
With a flash of his usual pixels he was gone.
Maybe he could convince someone to make him a sandwich again...
------Two Weeks Later-------
They clutched their tickets in their hands as they shuffled through the aisles of the small theatre.
As small as it was it was surprisingly packed.
It made sense though. Family, friends, interested third parties…
Well, that wasn’t important.
The play was about to start.
A very familiar voice came through the speakers asking them to silence their phones lest they get a plague upon their houses as the lights dimmed.
Nice.
-----------
Virgil was glad running lights wasn’t all that hard. At least he didn’t have to run sound too, and most of it had been cued for days.
He stuck an earbud into one ear on low volume so he could still hear, with just enough noise to keep him from retreating into his thoughts.
Being backstage was fun.
He should see if he could convince Dee or Remy to run makeup sometime…
-----------
The end of the show was filled with flowers and congratulations.
Roman grinned the whole time.
Even Logan was impressed and he didn’t really understand theatre.
They went out to get waffles and pancakes for a celebratory dinner.
It was nice.
Things were nice.
Everyone was happy, things were going well, and nothing seemed to be looming over their heads for once other than normal life stuff.
Everyone let out a final breath of relief as the sword swinging over their heads seemed to finally, finally, disappear.
It was time to live.
After all, they had all the time in the world.