As with all of the other holidays, it had taken some time for Loki to understand Christmas. At first, he couldn’t quite grasp the concept of gift-giving, and he thought he was supposed to return all of the random items he had pilfered from the people living in the tower. Although he hadn’t bought any real gifts, he had quite a bit of wrapping to do that year, and the rest of the team was shocked at the vast number of items he’d acquired without their knowledge. He was inordinately confused when he unwrapped his own gifts though, and he had received several brand new items.
“These aren’t mine…there must be some mistake,” he’d mumbled grumpily.
Thor shook his head with barely contained amusement.
“Brother, the rest of us didn’t steal from each other, so your gifts are actually new .”
Thor had given him a book- one that Loki was surprised to see he hadn’t read before. Tony had given him a pair of blue jeans, which Loki immediately scoffed at.
“I thought you could use something besides leather,” he laughed. Everyone else laughed too, and Loki scowled.
Bruce had given Loki a watch, but Loki honestly didn’t know what it was. He held it up, inspecting it gently and thoroughly, but couldn’t understand its function.
“It’s like a small clock, Loki… you wear it on your wrist. So you can make it to our appointments on time,” Bruce smiled kindly, and Loki gazed at the object with far less disdain.
Natasha’s gift was a dark green sweater.
“I made that myself...I hope it fits,” she said without emotion.
Loki’s eyebrows knit together. He couldn’t imagine why she would bother spending her time doing something for him .
“It’s my color,” he commented, unable to say much else.
The next gift was from Steve. Loki had barely spoken to him over the course of the year, so he was surprised to see that the soldier had wanted to give him anything. When he opened the box, he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. It was a teapot. His very own teapot. And it was green with gold trim. Tony had mocked him relentlessly for drinking hot tea instead of the coffee everyone else seemed to prefer, but now he had his own pot.
He didn’t know what to say. He knew that the others didn’t particularly care for him, and he knew why, but they had included him.
The following year, Loki decided to do a bit more research. He discovered that most people tried to give their friends and loved ones gifts based on things they enjoyed, or things that they needed. Thanks to Tony, none of them needed anything. They had everything provided for them. So Loki set out to give the others things they actually wanted . He knew he wasn’t easy to live with, but aside from a few squabbles here and there, the last year had been quite pleasant.
Bruce had spent countless hours in their sessions helping Loki to “open up,” as he called it. At first, Loki thought the strategies were ridiculous but he found himself telling Banner stories from his childhood, little pieces of memories that had stuck with him for over a thousand years, and Banner had listened. He wasn’t a professional psychologist- or whatever they called their brain doctors on Midgard- but Loki discovered he had a soft soothing voice and calming demeanor; two qualities he missed in his mother.
Spending all of that time with Banner made Loki wonder what kinds of secrets he was hiding. He knew Banner would never open up to him, and he didn’t want him to. But he also knew that Bruce liked to write. So the next Christmas, Loki made him a leather bound journal. He didn’t have access to stores or shops, so he had to rely on Thor to gather materials for him. Nonetheless, he managed to use his Seidr to produce a very handsome book; one he thought Bruce would be proud to own.
It was quite a bit more difficult to find something for Tony- the man who had everything. But Loki managed to locate a few elements on Asgard that he thought Tony could use in his work. He didn’t know what the metal man would do with such things, but he knew that the stones and plants could not be found on Midgard. Any scientist would be happy to have them.
For Clint, Loki used his considerable intelligence and weapons skills to construct a few brand new arrows. He wanted them to be different; something that the archer hadn’t used before, so he cast enchantments on them. Regardless of where they were sent or what happened to them, they would always return to his quiver.
Natasha’s gift was a bit more difficult. Loki knew what she wanted, but he didn’t know how to get it for her. She wanted a clean slate. A fresh start. A ledger, free of red stains. Loki couldn’t erase the things she’d done. If he could, he would start with the things he’d done. He could show her that he understood though, so his gift to her was a ledger. In the inside, he wrote a note:
Everyone deserves a second chance. You deserve it more than most. There’s no red in this ledger.
Then, he’d written a list of the good deeds Natasha had done since he had met her. It was quite a long list. He hoped it would help her see herself differently.
Loki knew that Steve was from a different time, and sometimes modern Midgardian life was difficult for him. He missed the way things used to be. Loki could only think of one thing he could do for the soldier. He spent many hours researching what life was like on Midgard when Steve was young, and he gave the soldier a box of things from that time period: records, old movies, photographs of famous actresses. He knew it wasn’t much, but he hoped it would make Steve feel a little less lonely. Loki knew what it was like to be out of place.
Thor’s gift was much more subtle than the others. It had been a very long time since Loki had shown his brother how much he truly cared for him, but he knew that Christmas was the perfect time to do so. Unbeknownst to Thor, throughout the last few hundred years, Loki had saved many little trinkets during their journeys together. Some of them were hidden in magical pockets on his person while others were stowed under his bed. He wasn’t entirely sure if Thor would care for any of them, but he knew his brother would at least recognize them. So, he made Thor a stocking full of memories to show his brother how much he still cared. Even if he wasn’t able to tell him, he could show him.
When Christmas morning came, Loki was nervous. He hoped the others liked their gifts, but most of all, he hoped they didn’t mock him for what he’d decided to give them. It had been very difficult for him to allow himself to be vulnerable enough to do something so... human .
“Brother? Is this stocking for me ?” Thor asked, a confused expression on his face.
Loki cleared his throat before speaking. “Yes. I… hope you find some use for it.”
As Loki watched the others open their gifts, he saw Tony’s eyes light up with excitement. Steve opened his box, then looked up at Loki with a smile. Gently pulling out each item, Steve began to show everyone the relics of his past with a bittersweet expression Loki had never seen before. Natasha’s eyes filled with tears as she read the inscription Loki had written for her, and she surprised everyone by jumping up and running to give him a big bear hug.
Letting him go, she scowled slightly. “Okay, that was weird.”
Loki smirked. “A bit.”
Everyone laughed.
Bruce was astounded that Loki had actually made his gift, and Clint couldn’t wait to try out his new arrows.
When Loki looked at his brother, he couldn’t understand the expression on Thor’s face. All of the items from the stocking were laid out in front of him, and he was staring at each of them in turn.
“Loki, where… where did you… when?”
“I saved them. From all of our--- adventures ,” Loki laughed.
Thor said nothing. He simply stood up from the couch where he’d been lounging and wrapped his arms tightly around Loki.
“I can’t believe you saved all of these, brother. This means the world to me. I thought--”
“I know what you thought, and it’s my fault you thought so, but…” Loki shook his head to finish.
“Aren’t you going to open your gifts, Loki? I’m mostly looking forward to this one,” Tony interrupted, handing him a small box wrapped in green satin.
Thor smiled as if he already knew what was inside. Loki looked around the room, noting that everyone had gone quiet. Unwrapping the box, he found a tiny black gizmo that he couldn’t identify even if he tried.
“I… love it?” Loki said, still thoroughly confused.
Tony laughed. “It’s a tracking device. It means we’re going to let you out. You wear this, and you can leave the tower for a while. Loki, this means you’ve earned our trust.”
The very next day, Loki walked up the street alone for the first time since his arrival at the tower. He didn't feel the need to find anything to do. He only needed to feel the sunlight on his face and the wind in his hair.