Saw V
Noel knew Mischa loved Saw six, even though he thought it was the fifth one.
The movie was in the wrong case, it probably had been for a long time because Mischa had no idea his favourite movie was actually the sixth saw movie and not the fifth. The only reason Noel even knew was because he’d googled it in an attempt to figure out what the hell this movie was supposed to be about. He remembered the way Mischa had described it in the afterlife had made it sound really good, with an interesting philosophy and lesson behind it, but all Noel saw when they’d watched it was gore, and a lot of it. He was usually content enough with cuddling up to Mischa and hiding his face, so like he did with every horror movie, but it was really just a bit much as a film, and Noel really didn’t want to ever have to watch it again.
And he knew Mischa loved it, but he didn’t know WHY.
So when Mischa suggested watching it again for their movie night, Noel decided to say something.
“Can we not watch that horror movie again?” Noel requested. “It’s just… I hate it. It’s so gory and disgusting and it doesn’t even really have a story-“
“Saw five has very important story,” Mischa interrupted, sounding defensive, and Noel immediately felt a little bad. “Is a powerful lesson about fundamental corruption of financially driven medical insurance providers.”
“Actually, that’s Saw six,” Noel stated, nodding at the movie case on Mischa’s desk. “That’s the movie that’s actually in that case. I googled it because I was trying to find out if there was any plot within all the blood and gore.”
“Of course movie has plot!” Mischa stated, raising his voice a little to argue his point. “Is very important message! And how long have you known I have been watching wrong movie? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you liked the stupid movie!” Noel retorted, raising his own voice to match Mischa’s. “And I see absolutely no plot in that thing apart from killing people in increasingly fucked up ways!”
“But all of people in traps did fucked up things, that is POINT of saw movies!” Mischa yelled. “Fucked up things happen to fucked up people!”
“And only fucked up people would want to SEE that!” Noel yelled, not thinking. All he knew in that moment was Mischa was loud and he hated that movie and he hated loud noises.
“THEN I GUESS IM FUCKED UP!” Mischa shouted, loud enough that Noel felt himself flinch. “If you think movie is stupid, do you think I’m stupid too for liking it? Is that what you think Noel?”
“I didn’t say you were fucking stupid!” Noel shouted back, but his voice wasn’t anywhere near as powerful as Mischa’s. “But if you really think that shit has meaning, maybe you’re stupider than I thought Mischa!”
“I AM NOT FUCKING STUPID!” Mischa shouted, and Noel actually jumped. Mischa was his favourite person, his boyfriend, the one he went to whenever something was wrong. He didn’t expect him to shout like that, ever. His voice was powerful and borderline deafening, and it was terrifying. Noel had never heard him like that before, his rage was usually reserved for shitty people and rap videos. And Noel had NEVER seen him get this defensive before.
So, Noel froze and fell silent, and tried to keep tears from filling his eyes.
He shouldn’t have said anything.
He saw Mischa’s face slowly changing from a mask of rage to a look of horror and fear as he seemed to realise what was going on, and he looked at Noel with a look Noel couldn’t quite identify.
“You have to go,” Mischa said. “Upstairs, or out of house, just not here.”
“You’re kicking me out?” Noel questioned, sounding both outraged and upset. He didn’t know how to feel, he needed time.
“Go,” Mischa stated, sitting down on his bed, and Noel saw him put his hand on his chest, like he was trying to control his breathing. His other hand was curled into a fist at his side.
Noel ran up the stairs before Mischa could say anything else. He didn’t have a place to go, so he just rushed upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom while he figured this out.
He was a fucking idiot.
Mischa was just arguing about the plot of his favourite movie, and Noel has called the movie stupid and implied Mischa was fucked up. He was the worst boyfriend in the fucking world.
And who the fuck even was he to call that plot fucked up? Noel’s favourite movies were about whores being horribly mistreated and abused then dying at the end, because that’s what he saw as romantic. And if Mischa had made fun of the plot of his favourite movie, he knew he’d either cry or scream.
If anyone was fucked up, it was him.
Mischa was right to kick him out. He wouldn’t want himself around either.
But before he could get up and leave, or call Constance to pick him up and take him home, his phone buzzed. A message from Mischa.
Mischa: Sorry I kicked you out rage was taking over and I was scared
Mischa: Sometimes it feels out of control and that is terrifying
Mischa: Did not mean to scare you
At least he didn’t seem too angry anymore, so he was probably trying to calm himself down. In the meantime, Noel texted back quickly.
Noel: im sorry i shouldnt have said any of that stuff
Mischa: You do not like movie
Noel: doesnt mean i should call you or it fucked up
Noel: that was shitty
Mischa: I guess I proved point with yelling
Mischa: Was fucked up of me
Noel: if youre fucked up then so am i
Mischa: Like you were fucked up girl in afterlife
Noel: i guess
Noel: all my favourite movies are fucked up
Noel: theyre about fucked up women like monique
Mischa: I know
Mischa: We have watched blue angel eight times
The memory made Noel smile. They’d watched the movie a few times, because Noel adored it, and Mischa liked to see him happy. Plus, he said he liked it, even though Noel was pretty sure he zoned out during it, but he sat with him anyway, and he appreciated it a lot.
Noel: its not enough
Noel: anyway im really sorry
Noel: i shouldnt have called you or your favourite movie stupid
Noel: you love it even if i dont
Noel: and your never do that about something i cared about
Noel: it would break my heart if you did
Mischa: I know
Mischa: Your movie is very important to you
Mischa: And I had overreaction
Mischa: Don’t like getting called stupid
Mischa: People think im stupid all of time
Mischa: I speak four languages am not stupid
Mischa: English just isnt perfect but I would like to see half of school try and hold conversation in Ukrainian or Russian
Mischa: I live in country that speaks my third language it sucks ass
Noel: im sorry mischa
Noel: i know you arent stupid i dont think that
Noel: i never have
Noel: youre one of the smartest people i know
Mischa: That is pushing it
Mischa: Too much
Mischa: Dont feel sorry for me
Mischa: I do not want pity
Noel: it isnt pity i genuinely think youre smart
Mischa: But I am not Ocean smart
Noel: youre smart in your own way
It was odd hearing Mischa voice an insecurity like this. Noel had no idea Mischa was insecure about his intelligence, because honestly, he had no reason to be. His grades weren’t great, but he passed most of his classes with basically no effort, he knew a bunch of random facts, and he spoke FOUR languages. It wasn’t something he should ever have to worry about, and Noel felt completely horrible.
Mischa had raised his voice, but it was defensive. Because Noel’s words had hurt him.
Ocean always said Noel used words like knives, and it seemed he’d slashed the wrong person. Someone who didn’t deserve it.
Mischa: Im sorry I shouted
Mischa: Shouldnt have raised voice at you
Mischa: I scared you
Mischa: Did not deserve that
Noel: i kind of did
Noel: i shouldnt have said what i did
Noel: you have every right to be mad
Mischa: Am not mad
Mischa: Anymore
Mischa: Was just overreacting
Noel: no i was being a dick
Noel: your reaction was valid
Mischa: Ricky would kick you off of Zolar so fast
The joke was a surprise, and Noel actually laughed out loud at it. Maybe Mischa really wasn’t mad. Maybe things would be okay.
Noel: if you want to watch the movie together we can watch it together
Noel: whatever you want
Mischa: But you hate movie
Noel: but you like it
Noel: why do you like it so much
Mischa: Is dumb reason
Noel: no reason is dumb
Mischa: After what happened to my mom is nice to see people who put money before health being punished
Mischa: They did not care about what happened to cleanup workers
Mischa: So even if it is fiction is good to imagine shitty people like them punished
Damn. Noel had never thought of it like that. No wonder Mischa cared about this movie so much. No wonder the gore didn’t bother him. Wanting those people punished was right, they’d taken away the only family Mischa had. And if this movie made him feel a little better, then Noel was shitty for being a dick about it.
Noel: that makes sense
Noel: im sorry for being shitty about it
Mischa: Is fine
Mischa: I can explain movie to you if we watch again
Noel: that sounds good
Mischa: Where did you go
Mischa: Can we watch it today
Noel: yeah im locked in the bathroom
Mischa: That is where you went
Noel: i dont know i panicked
Noel: do you want me to come downstairs
Mischa: Yes
Mischa: And can you grab first aid kit from cabinet under kitchen sink
Noel: WHY ARE YOU OKAY
Mischa: Might have accidentally tapped brick wall
Mischa: With fist
Noel: YOU PUNCHED A WALL
Mischa: Little bit
Noel shook his head as he shoved his phone into his pocket and ran downstairs to get the first aid kit.
When he got to the basement, Mischa was sitting on his bed with a shirt wrapped around his fist.
“I’d call you an idiot, but I feel like that’s badly timed,” Noel smiled awkwardly, offering over the first aid kit. “Still, punching a wall wasn’t the best decision.”
“I wasn’t exactly thinking through decision,” Mischa stated, taking the first aid kit and taking his hand out from the tshirt to try and bandage it. His knuckles were bleeding, but it could’ve been a lot worse. It seemed mostly okay. “And if it helps I regret choice a lot.”
“Obviously,” Noel nodded, watching as Mischa tried to clumsily bandage his hand up. It wasn’t a great attempt, so Noel thought it right to step in. “Here, let me do it.”
He sat down next to Mischa on his bed and took Mischa’s hand in his and gently wound the bandage around it, while Mischa looked at him a little nervously.
“I’m sorry, Poet,” Mischa stated, and Noel nodded.
“Me too,” Noel said, tying up the bandage. “And, that’s done!”
Mischa raised his hand and looked at it, then reached over and took Noel’s hand again.
“Thank you,” Mischa smiled, raising Noel’s hand and kissing it gently. “You would make great nurse.”
“I don’t have the patience for that,” Noel rolled his eyes. “But I’d look after you any day.”
Mischa smiled and tackled Noel in a hug which Noel happily returned.
“Misch?” Noel started, as Mischa rested his head on his chest. Mischa hummed in response. “Let’s not fight again.”
“That is unrealistic standard,” Mischa told him, leaning up to look him in the eyes. “But let’s always do this after. If we fight we say sorry and make each other happy again.”
“Fine by me,” Noel nodded. “A little drama might be good for us anyway.”
“I don’t know,” Mischa shrugged. “Love is better than drama.”
“Why can’t we have both?” Noel asked, before sitting up a little. Mischa moved and sat up next to him, and Noel smiled at him. “I love you dramatically, Mischa Bachinski.”
“I love you dramatically too, Noel Gruber,” Mischa smiled, placing a hand on Noel’s cheek and kissing him gently.
Suddenly, everything really felt okay again.
And Noel knew he could make it through any shitty horror movie as long as it was for Mischa.
But if he tried hard enough, he could probably convince Mischa to make out with him instead.
That would probably be a better option for both of them, and honestly, seemed like the most likely option right now.
And Noel had no complaints.