BONUS
When Peter woke up he had a smile on his face until he realised the space next to him that used to be occupied by his husband was empty and cold which meant his dream of Wade coming back to him was just that: a dream.
He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream or shout or just punch something because why was this still happening? After Wade's death he kept seeing him around the apartment, hearing his voice as if he never left because his brain couldn't process the fact the love of his life was dead, and now it was creating full back stories on how Wade would return and that thought alone made him feel sick. Why couldn't he ever just cut a break? He knew it was too good to be true; escape another universe to come home to his totally undead husband, yeahright.
Peter swung his legs out of bed, he really didn't want to get up because there wasn't really a point, however, he soon realised that if he didn't get up and go to the bathroom now he'll end up pissing the bed and he'd like to think he hadn't stooped that low in life. He could hear the soft whistling coming from the kitchen as he walked out of his bedroom and down the hall, the Spider-Man tune Wade was so fond of clear as day as if Wade was still in the apartment and Peter was half expecting to hear Wade laugh and say it's for you baby-boy! Just like everything I do is for you! Peter felt his stomach twist and he couldn't help but slam the bathroom door hoping that would jerk his brain into stopping and it worked, he listened out for the tune and sighed when he couldn't hear anything anymore. He rested his head against the door, holding back the tears before pushing himself away and going about his business.
He took time in washing his hands, not quite ready to leave just in case his brain hadn't stopped making up lies because he didn't know how much more he could cope with. Peter thought about calling Aunt May but this would just worry her and it's not like he could call Miles plus maybe it was a little weird to call a thirteen year old and cry about marital problems and the fact he keeps hearing and seeing his dead husband around their apartment. Yeah, totally weird. He sighed again, he could always just call up Tony, they've been getting on really well since the whole Spider-Man and by-the-way-I-also-work-for-you thing but he still didn't feel comfortable enough to tell people just how badly he was coping with the whole thing. He moved over to the bathroom door and his hand hovered over the door handle when there was a knock on the door; he stumbled backwards.
"Petey, you okay in there?" Peter groaned.
"Oh for fuck sake." he pulled the door open a bit too hard when he felt the door handle get a little crushed between his fingers, he was just so tired of this bullshit. He wasn't surprised to see Wade stood there, but his dream Wade so not only does he have to be tortured with the 'ghost' of Wade but the dream version of him that was locked up and hurt and left disfigured; thinking of anything bad ever happening to him left a bad taste in Peter's mouth but now he has to be reminded of this horrific backstory his mind created which made his heart hurt even more.
"I'd say good morning but it seems like it's not very good," Wade said, stepping out of the way when Peter rolled his eyes and walked past him, "Baby-boy?"
"Why can't you just fuck off, why are you still here?" Peter didn't turn to look at the hallucination, there's no point, "I'm just so tired."
"I don't understand, you said you were happy I was home?" Wade followed him into the sitting room, "I've been making breakfast, I was hoping we could talk..."
"Talk," Peter scoffed, "Now my hallucinations want to 'talk', I guess I've totally lost the plot now."
"Hallucinations? Huh? What-" Peter stood in his tracks and Wade bumped into him before quickly stepping back. Peter could smell the pancakes from the sitting room, has his brain created a full 4D experience for him? He never smelt anything before and he's only ever felt a fleeting touch of Wade that was a memory not a full body slam like someone had run into him.
"What is going on?" Peter didn't turn around, he was terrified of what he would see... or wouldn't see.
"I don't understand..." Wade still hadn't moved any closer, "I only wanted to make breakfast and surprise you and... and... talk and I'm so sorry."
"Talk..." Peter cast himself back to his dream last night, he told dream-Wade he wanted to talk when he woke up which now makes sense as to why 'talking' keeps coming up, of course his brain had to remember that piece of information and had to keep bringing it up and mocking him because he'll never get that opportunity, "Jesus Christ," Peter pinched the bridge of his nose; tears building behind his eyes, headache forming from all the commotion, "Why couldn't Miles just have left me to die."
"Don't you dare say that," Peter felt something grab his shoulder and pull him around, "Why would you say that?" Peter just stared, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish; this was too real, Wade was too real.
"What the fuck, you're dead, what the fuck."
"No, I'm not?" Wade stepped closer but Peter stumbled backwards, "We went over this last night? I'm not dead, I came back."
"I'm so confused," Peter was panicking now, "You're not real."
"I am, I am real Petey," Wade said, "I promise you."
"No, you're just a dream... I'm just trying to process it all... You're dead and I'm alone," Peter felt his knees buckle and he gripped onto the wall, "Oh god, I'm alone, I miss you so much and I'm so alone without you." Peter couldn't even look at Wade, he used the wall as support as he stumbled through the sitting room and into the kitchen. The breakfast smell was stronger and he wanted to be sick, he just wanted to escape and everything was following him around.
"Peter, you're scaring me now." Wade said, following him in.
"Just shut up," Peter snapped, he just needed silence for five minutes, "This isn't real?" it was coming out more like a question because the breakfast on the dining table seemed pretty darn real to him, Wade's voice sounded real to him, the skin underneath his fingers felt real as he collapsed into the arms of his so-called hallucination that have never caught him before.
"Babe?" Peter looked up into the worried blue eyes of his totallynotdeadonehundredpercentalivewhatthefuck husband, "What is going on?" Peter reached out and softly touched Wade's cheek with his finger tips, the skin was warm and oh so alive that he couldn't hold the sob back this time, "Pete?"
"I'm so sorry," Peter cried, holding Wade close, "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, it's okay shhh..." Wade picked him up and rocked him gently like he used to before everything went to shit, "Calm down, I'm here okay, shhh..."
"Don't leave."
"I'm not planning on it, trust me, I just need you to calm down for me," Wade rubbed his back, "Breathe in, then out, just like that, good boy."
"I thought it was all a dream... I thought..." Peter clenched his eyes shut.
"Oh, that's what you meant about hallucinations... See me often?"
"Only every day, you were everywhere without even being alive," Peter didn't release the hold on Wade at all, "It was the best and the worst because I wanted you back so badly but it was torture knowing you weren't coming back but I could still see you."
"Hey, baby-boy, I understand," Wade said, "You were always with me too, think you were what kept me sane which is crazy."
"You've always been a bit crazy so that's understandable," Wade chuckled softly.
"Yeah, crazy in love with you." Peter couldn't help the laugh that left his mouth, squeezing Wade into more of a hug rather than the death grip from before.
"You loser," he opened his eyes and moved to look at Wade's face, "But you're my loser so that's all okay."
"I wouldn't want to be anyone elses loser but yours." Wade pressed a kiss against his lips before pulling back and resting his forehead against Peters, "Do you want to tell me what happened to you?" Peter sighed, he didn't want to but he knew he was going to have to talk about it sooner rather than later.
"Okay." Wade put him down and they both sat at the dining table, the pancakes lukewarm but Peter still reached out and grabbed one; the taste was so familiar and heartwarming, no pancake could compare to Wade's, "Where should I start?"
"From the beginning?"
"I hadn't really left the house since you 'died' so I was in my natural habitat, ya know the bed, when this weird portal thing opened up in the ceiling and pulled me through," Peter explained, "It hurt, like a lot, and the next thing I was thrown into New York but it wasn't this place and I was dead."
"You were dead?"
"And blond." Wade pulled a face of concentration before shaking his head.
"Don't go blond."
"I'm not panning on it, trust me, plus that me was still in his twenties so he looked hip and trendy and I'd just look a sad chunky man trying to be young." Wade laughed and Peter couldn't help himself from laughing either.
"You're as perfect as you were when you were a hip and trendy in your twenties, even if you are a sad, chunky man."
"Thanks babe, make a man feel special." Peter rolled his eyes and tried to look annoyed but his smile gave him away.
"I hope I do baby-boy... what else happened?"
"I was lost to be honest, everything was the same yet so different so I just followed my Spider-sense despite the fact it's been a little on the blink lately, and I found this kid who ended up knocking me out, dragging me through the air halfway across the city attached to a train, dropping us both off a bridge before finally tying me up on a punching bag."
"What the fuck?"
"My thoughts exactly, it was... weird, but what was weirder was that he was like me."
"Another Spidey?"
"Yeah, he was new, had no idea what he was doing and I was a dick at first, barely had the time of day for him but as we worked together to save all of us, I really found that I came to care for him," Peter smiled, "He was a great kid."
"Is that this Miles you keep mentioning?"
"Yeah, he turned out to be pretty impressive even if he did start out as a dumbass."
"Why were you there?" Wade laced his fingers through Peter's, a gesture that made Peter feel safe.
"Kingpin and Doc Ock working together, Kingpin had a personal vendetta against all Spider-Men since his family caught him trying to kill Blond-Peter and as they left they ended up getting killed... it was a mess and if he wasn't such an asshole I might have felt bad," Peter said, "They built this vortex manipulator thing and instead of bringing his family back he ended up getting us instead."
"Us...?"
"Oh, yeah turns out there are quite a few spiders out there, in this one world there was six of us minus blond-Peter."
"Six versions of you..." Peter laughed at the dreamy look in Wade's eyes, he shoved him gently.
"If you're thinking of some form of orgy I'll let you know the only one that looked like me at all was the dead one; Miles is like thirteen, Gwen..." Wade gasped a little in excitement.
"Female Spidey?"
"Yeah, Gwen was a girl, a fifteen year old girl may I add." Peter shot Wade a knowing look, he just rolled his eyes.
"I'm not thinking anything dirty baby-boy, I have you for those thoughts, I'm just here for the gender equality, ya know? Letting the girls have a chance."
"There was also a young girl who had a robot."
"What?"
"And a version of me straight from the noir films, Spider-Man Noir who was from the 1930's."
"That sounds awesome."
"Oh, and a cartoon pig."
"That sound terrifying."
"He was a little... odd, but he was funny I guess."
"If there are so many versions of you, I wonder if there's any more of me." Peter felt sad again.
"That world I was in... Blond-Peter was married to you."
"Oh..."
"And I doubt his husband was coming back to him like you did me, it was awful... he was the reason I planned on staying."
"...Why? Did you... meet him? I mean, I'd totally understand but..." Peter kissed Wade to stop his nervous rambling.
"No, I didn't fall in love with him if you're wondering, it's because Miles couldn't stop Kingpin by himself and I couldn't survive much longer without you and seeing that Wade being utterly heartbroken... I don't know, I just didn't want to live like that."
"Baby-boy... I'm sorry, I should have told you what I was doing."
"It's okay, you're here now and that's what matters."
"I nearly lost you, when I came home that night and saw the place empty... I was terrified, then I started asking about you in the streets and I knew Mich had been asking which meant May had no idea where you were and I started scoping out the house... I just wanted to go instead and just be in the house we had together but May was always there and I didn't know how to talk to her after the supposed being dead thing and then it wasn't until she finally left that I snuck in and found you."
"More like I found you, bleeding all over our spare room."
"I'm going to get it clean, calm down," Wade's eyes shifted slightly, "How did you nearly die? You said Miles saved your lift, what happened?"
"He saved my life by sending me home, my atoms didn't appreciate me being in another world so they were slowly disintegrating... as soon as I stepped foot in that world I was dying."
"You're okay now though... right?"
"Yeah, no more glitching and I'm glad about that but what about you?"
"What about me?"
"I woke up to you, not dead and bleeding everywhere yet this morning you're walking around as if it never happened."
"I ran into someone's knife, I was asking around like normal and this guy didn't take a liking to you and stabbed me for it, but I'm all better now baby-boy."
"How? Wade, what happened to you?" Wade tensed up.
"They... they called themselves Project X, promoted it by telling people they'll make them better, told me they'd cure my cancer, only it wasn't a happy holiday camp it was an underground torture chamber."
"What did they do to you?" Wade laughed.
"What didn't they do to me? I injected with a serum that activates any mutant genes lurking in my DNA when combined with extreme stress to trigger mutations, I wanna skip the gory details about ice baths and beatings and stuff because I don't want to dredge all that back up right now, but eventually they got sick of me and my mouth and put me in this weird glass coffin thing where there was only just enough oxygen to keep me alive," Wade sighed, "It was there where I went from Beauty to the Beast, unlocked my hidden mutation where my body regenerates and it seems like nothing I can do will kill me, the cells in my body started attacking the cancer as fast as it could form."
"So the cancer..."
"It's still there baby-boy, still living inside me so they didn't cure me, they stopped it from spreading but I guess I'm still sick, although I don't feel sick not like before anyway."
"Do you hurt?"
"All the time, but if I don't focus on it then it's more of a numb ache, a tiny constant reminder that it's there but it's okay."
"I'm so sorry... oh babe..."
"No, don't apologise I'm the one who put you through hell, I should be thankful you want anything to do with me."
"Wade, I was willing to kill myself in a completely different universe just because I couldn't cope without you, of course I was taking you back."
"God, I love you."
"I love you too," Peter cocked his head slightly to one side, "But... who the fuck did we bury?"
"Nobody? Or maybe a John Doe? I... I hadn't thought about it, they gave me this drug to slow my pulse down to practically nothing, it knocked me out cold and I actually thought i was dying, it wasn't until I woke up, strapped to a gurney, did I realise what had happened."
"How are we going to explain this to everyone?"
"Miracle?"
"Could just say there was a mix up? Your stats dropped so low they thought you were dead but later realised their mistake when you woke up but since I had been missing for a month they couldn't get hold of me to let me know."
"How do you explain this face then?" Peter thought for a moment before looking at the copy of the Daily Bugle on the table, he reached over with his spare hand and realised the paper was pretty old; dated around the time Wade had died. He flicked through the news stories until he hit one that made a perfect cover story.
"Fire."
"What?"
"Apparently there was a fire in one of the hospital wings during a fight that involved the Avengers and the weekly villain, we can say you got caught up in that which is why you never told anyone you were alive."
"How are you so smart?" Peter shrugged and dropped the paper, looking back at Wade.
"I just want to be with my husband again, I'm not hiding you."
"You're too good to me." Wade said with a smile.
"I just love you, so much," Peter said, getting up to sit in Wade's lap, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I'll do anything to make that happen."
"Does this mean Spidey and Deadpool can team up?"
"Sure, why not, let's go be a crime fighting duo." Wade laughed and wrapped his arms around Peter's waist.
"Were you... were you serious last night about wanting kids?"
"Yes, I was," Peter wrapped his arms around Wade's neck, pulling himself as close as possible, "Miles... he taught me a lot and I knew I wanted kids with you but he just made it feel concrete, ya know? I was with him a matter of day but... but I don't know, my paternal instincts must have kicked in because all I could think about was if we had a kid like him; how you'd make him laugh and teach him useless facts and how to be a good man, how I could teach him to be the best he can be, how to get up after getting knocked down, May would dote on him and he'd be spoilt rotten by both her and Mich and don't even get me started on how Tony would want to be the 'fun' uncle, because he told me... multiple times."'
"Tony Stark wants to be a cool uncle to our kid?"
"I know, I was shocked too but he insists and I wouldn't want to upset Tony Stark."
"Me neither," Wade smiled, "You seem to have this whole kid thing planned out?"
"Not really, I know it'll be nothing how we plan because raising kids is nothing like how the text book says but I want to learnt how to raise a child with you by my side."
"And I will be right there, beside you," Wade pressed his lips against Peter's, "Should we go practice the baby making side of it?"
"Uh... we can't actually..." Wade moved to bite at Peter's ear lobe, moving down his neck, "Oh."
"Fancy it?" Peter didn't answer, choosing to instead pull Wade from the chair and to the bedroom; there were no room for words then, and when they were both struggling with removing each others clothing Peter felt safe and happy and this time... this time he knew he wasn't dreaming.
When he couldn't get back up, Wade was there to give him a helping hand and helped him stand: together.