Bruce stood in the doorway and watched as the broad man sat silently on that bench, deep in thoughts and exhaustion marking his face. His eyes permanently fixed on the window in front of him, from which soon the sunlight would fall into the room. It broke his heart to see the once strongest man he was lucky to call a friend, now barely alive, fighting against his demons from within. Bruce didn’t dare think of all the things Thor had gone through. No pain he ever experienced could be as bad as what the god must feel. And although Bruce didn’t even know what to say or how to cheer him up, besides being far away from happy himself, he felt as if it was his responsibility as a friend to comfort him and just be there for him. That’s why he eventually raised his voice, so soft as if merely the sound could cause the other man to shatter.
“Thor?”
It needed a few seconds but eventually, a miracle happened and Bruce got a response. They have tried to talk to him for hours already, but none of the other have seemed to succeed. It was a little bit like the first time Bruce had turned into the other guy. When he transformed back, no one could get to him. He shut everyone out in his misery, but that shouldn’t happen to Thor. He had always been the sunshine of the group. He kept being positive no matter what happened and now seeing him like that – it broke the whole team. The time came, that not even Thor could stay positive and it scared them.
The scruffy man, lifted his head and eyes, just slowly he turned to look at the doctor in the door frame.
“Bruce”
That was the only thing he could say and it was the only thing he needed to say. In no time Bruce was at his side, embracing him tightly and Thor held onto him as if it was his only chance to survive. Maybe it was.
“Bruce, I am so sorry”, the broad man sobbed eventually. It shouldn’t have surprised the doctor as much as it did, regarding that he expected Thor to be blaming himself for everything. But he didn’t quite expect to be apologized to specifically.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for”, he answered, stroking the crying god’s back.
“There’s everything to apologize for. I had the chance. I had the ultimate best chance to go for the head but I didn’t and now he’s still alive and everybody else is dead. I couldn’t save anyone. Not Asgard, not the Asgardians, not Loki. Loki. And now Midgard as well.” His voice came out in bits and shook terribly.
“That’s not true!”, Bruth protested, pushing Thor softly away from him, just so that he could look him in the face.
“Thor. You have done your best. I couldn’t safe them either. I fought Thanos as the Hulk and it didn’t do a thing. You helped fighting, there’s nothing more you could have done. It’s not anyone’s fault that we lost. That these people died. There’s only Thanos to blame.”
Bruce and Thor locked eyes. It was a precious, fond moment. A moment of calmness, not peace, not happiness, but calmness and safety.
“You’re right. He’s the only one to blame.” Thor nodded and turned his head towards the window again, where the first beams of sunlight entered the room.
“But what worth is it to blame the one that won? He achieved his goal exactly like he wanted to. He knows he’ll be blamed.”
Bruce shook his head.
“No, Thor”, he started again, “don’t start thinking like that. He just won for now. The battle, yes we lost that. And we had to pay a high price, but the war isn’t over yet. We will defeat him eventually.”
“Yeah? Who will? Bruce, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you trying to lift me up, but… who will? There’s no one left. More than half of the avengers have been dusted. As well as the guardians. Who knows what happened to those who flew into space. We don’t know if Stark is still alive, or the other guardians. The king and princess of Wakanda both have turned to dust. And my brother is dead. And those who are still here are devastated, yes broken even. Who’s left to fight, Bruce?”
There was a long pause in which Bruce didn’t know what to say. He felt as if all hope has been sucked out of him. Of course, nothing of the things Thor just told were new to him, but hearing it like that, from him? It felt so deeply wrong, that nothing seemed to have worth anymore.
The sun continued to rise. It was a beautiful sunrise. Pity, that they couldn’t enjoy it.
“I keep remembering it Bruce. What Loki said to me, barely moments before he died”, Thor spoke after a couple of very long minutes filled with terrifying silence. Bruce didn’t answer, just studied the god’s profile as he watched the sun rise.
“The sun will shine on us again. And now I am sitting here. In the sun, alone. And it feels wrong, like he was supposed to be here, was supposed to live but instead it’s me and I wasn’t even strong enough to avenge him. I’m supposed to be a god.”
“You’re not alone.”
It was the only thing Bruce could think of, that could maybe, possibly and hopefully comfort the man next to him. Thor looked at him in confusion. Bruce moved closer and carefully took his strong hand and intertwined their fingers.
“I’m here, Thor”, he whispered just loud enough for his partner to hear.
“I’m here and I won’t leave you. We will go through all of this together.”
For a few seconds Thor only stared at their hands, but eventually he looked into Bruce’s eyes, who didn’t back off or look away. Just held the contact.
“Promise me you won’t die.”
“Thor, you know I can’t promise-”
“I know, it’s just… I want to hear it anyway. Tell me you won’t die, Bruce. Tell me, you will fight as long as you can. I can’t loose anyone else.”
Bruce sighed. They both knew that in this time of war, no one could promise to stay alive. But that wasn’t the meaning of this. It was the promise to fight to stay alive. To not give up. So he nodded and squeezed the god’s hand, who squeezed his right back.
“I promise.”