Wondering through a misty dream, P-Chan walked and felt the fog flowing around them, in a wide open void. Barely able to see anything more than an arms length away, they began to hear something. Their head whips around, widening their stance. It was crying. Familiar crying. Their eyes shot open wide.
Ame!
Stumbling over their own feet, P-Chan ran into the unknown in a blind panic. "Ame!" The crying grew softer, and their heart ached and sank further and further into their stomach. Ame needed them, especially in these situations. "Where are you?! AME!" The sobs and hiccups spun around them, coming from a different direction every second. It didn't help than P-Chan's legs moved as if they were being pushed backward by a strong tide, as they barely moved at all. It was agonizing, hearing the suffering of their beloved like nails on a chalkboard. The fog began to rise, and P-Chan's movement grew increasingly difficult. The painful sounds were barely audible now.
"A-.." The fog grew past their shoulders.
"..-me..!" Brushing past their lips, the silence and fog grew in tandem and darkness invaded P-Chan's mind.
Eyes bursting open, P-Chan took a sharp inhale to quench the aching in their lungs. The familiar dark sight of P-chan and Ame's room greeted them, with all light but a small set of LEDs around the perimeter of the bedframe. The multicolored night-light gave to rainbows across their bed's already colorful bedding.
Wait...Ame!
Sitting up and straining their knuckles with their grasp on the sheets, P-Chan's eyes dart toward a small, curled up Ame at the foot of their shared bed. Though grateful for her presence, their was something very wrong. With her knees curled toward her chest, she turned her shriveled body to face them. Colors of every hue shone and warped through streaks of tears running down her scrunched up cheeks, leaving pitiful snail-trails. Her top teeth bit down on her bottom lip as to contain her sobs looked as if they were so forceful it was about to give way to blood. This must have been the perpetrator for the previously impending silence.
"I woke you up?" She says between hiccups, sending her body into a small jump. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I know you wanted to get some good sleep tonight." For every word she says, it pauses and wobbles in pain as the words barely squeeze through Ame's throat, barely making it's way past the flurry of sobs. "God.. I'm so sorry. I'm..." Laying her face in her shaking hands, and craning her neck, she coughs up more, tears flowing out of her as she no longer has the fear of waking her precious P-Chan up.
But so much shame also flowed, spilling out of her. The massive pile of worries and thoughts banging around the inside of her skull grew, spinning as it were about to burst. They've had to deal with me for so long. It would only be better if I gave them the vaccine for the plague that I spread through them. All I do is cause the people I love to suffer. I'd do anything for P-Chan...God, why do I have to be so annoying? Can I so something -- ANYTHING-- of use? Why was I born so useless? My joy, my god, my world, my everything...Why do i just make everything worse? Am I even real?Am I just a useless ornament? Will I ever be a real person?
"Ame..." P-Chan says with sympathy dripping from every word. Looking at the strands of dark hair weaved between her chipped nails, they make their way closer to Ame, raising an arm feebly toward her.
I have to help her. I have to be there for her. No matter what, she's worthy of happiness like everyone else. I know I'm important to her...so I can make a change. I can and will be there for her as much as possible! I-
Slashing through those thoughts, the contact of Ame's hair upon P-Chan's chest brushing swiftly as her head plunges into the blankets that lay on their lap. She shudders painfully, weeping and shaking as her fingers desperately slither around P-Chan's torso for comfort, just wanting to disappear into them. Tears and spit of violent crying form puddles that she could barely breathe through. The damp misery drips and smears onto the legs of P-Chan. Though Ame didn't care. All she wanted was to be held in P-Chan's arms. For them to save her. To just take all of it away. "Please.." She begs into the sheets, begging for them to make it come true.
"Oh, my angel.." P-Chan whispers comfortingly, sweeping up Ame and placing her under the sheets, arms around her as her tears' staining moved into their shirt. Ame took this as an affirmation to release more sobs, arms curled around P-Chan and hands grasped at their back. Her eyes were clenched shut, with her entire face aching from the strain of sobbing in such a way. Her chest heaved and stuttered as she gasps and cries for air after the heaving of the uncontrollable hiccups and sobs run her lungs dry. Her pain was soon graced with P-Chan's voice.
"Hush, my darling. I'm here for you. Cry as much as you need, its okay. You'll be okay.."
Though in her ugly, vulnerable state, the love of her partner felt like a warm blanket. She squeezes them tighter. Right now, she was so happy someone was here. So happy to be in their arms. So happy to be loved
Cradling and stroking Ame's hair, P-Chan whispers a flurry of comforting phrases. Assured her they are there, assured her they wont leave, and expressed just how much they love her.
Lifting her head and wiping her glistening cheeks, her breathing was calmed by the dimly lit face of P-Chan. They smile at her, holding the weight of her raised head affectionately. A few stray tears dribble down Ame's cheeks as she forms a sad smile.
"Why do you still put up with me? After all of this?" She looks away, but is stopped by P-Chan, who leant down to place a kiss on her forehead.
"Do I need a reason? Well...Besides that you're the love of my life, of course." They smile, looking down at Ame, quick to start welling up again. She buried her face into their chest once more.
The shadows in their room came and went, as the sun followed it's usual scenic routine of peeking over the horizon.
"Good morning, love." The ceramic base of a bowl calmly pattered on the bedside table, Ame's fluttering eyes being greeted by the sight of another angel laying breakfast before her. "Did you sleep okay?" P-Chan asked. Mumbling and sitting up, Ame rubbed her eyes. "...Yeah." she croaks, as the weight of memories from last night pulled her downward. God, that's embarrassing.
Smiling and repeating a light kiss on her forehead, P-Chan smiles. "It's okay." They recognize her shame. "I'm here. Is it okay if you tell me what was wrong?" Smiling, Ame answered softly.
"I thought you'd never ask."
Expressing her struggles, Ame and P-Chan's day was a productive one. Their conversation spanned into their trip to the park, where she confessed her struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder. Encouraging her, P-Chan holds her hand through it all. Coping became easier, with the help of therapy and medicine. Though not having a perfect life from here on, with many struggles still to come, Ame is always comforted with the knowledge of P-Chan's support. Oh, and she streams too, I guess.
