During his life, T’Challa falls in love three times.
The first time, he’s seven-years-old, and he’s playing hide-and-seek. W’kabi is counting, and T’Challa wanted to hide inside a vase in the gardens, but Zuri told him not to. So T’Challa ran back to where W’kabi is with his eyes closed, and now he just stands around a little confused, while W’kabi rushes through the count, and T’Challa thinks he’s definitely going to be the first one to be found-- when Nakia passes by, fast as the wind, grabs his arm and pulls him to a place behind the nearby stone columns.
T’Challa opens his mouth to say that’s too close, they’re going to be discovered, but Nakia lifts her finger and presses it against her lips in a gesture of silence. Right then, W’kabi finishes counting and starts searching.
He misses them completely, running out of the room to search for everyone in the gardens.
Nakia laughs – her smile is huge, bright, blinding against the shadows around them. T’Challa hadn’t seen her laugh like that before.
Dad does not approve of his friendship with Nakia. The adults, in general, don’t like Nakia much - she’s nosy, always running around and wanting to sneak inside important meetings. Mom seems to be the only one who actually likes her.
Nakia and T’Challa play together all the time. She has a loud laugh and T’Challa likes her a lot.
As they grow, Dad’s disapproval only increases. Nakia dresses differently from the other kids, incorporates clothing T’Challa knows is worn by foreigners. She listens to music of all types in all different languages. She signs up for espionage training as soon as she’s old enough to do it, and Dad sighs at T’Challa’s side, whispering of course.
T’Challa kisses Nakia for the first time when they’re sixteen, right after she comes out of her first exam. He doesn’t plan to do it, but she comes out so happy, glowing. Her beautiful, plump lips are curled in a bright smile that makes T’Challa lean forward and softly press his mouth against hers.
Nakia takes a step back, dark eyes wide in shock, and T’Challa wants to pretend it was nothing, but he can’t really look away from her mouth.
After a few seconds, it curls in a smile, and Nakia moves forward and kisses him again.
They’re in their twenties when they start fighting. Not just playful, poorly-disguised-flirting type of fighting, but actual arguments. It’s silly – it’s mostly because Nakia keeps going away for so long, and T’Challa is overwhelmed with all his responsibilities, and Nakia is stubborn and T’Challa wishes she wasn’t.
Their fights grow, but they keep coming back to each other, year after year. Nakia’s mouth and laugh tastes like home, and as much as it is difficult between them, sometimes, T’Challa can’t imagine being without her.
The second time he falls in love with Nakia is when she breaks up with him.
They’re in T’Challa’s bedroom, and Nakia just got out of the shower. It’s early morning and the sun comes through the window, a few rays touching Nakia’s face. She looks beautiful.
We are friends, she tells him. I don’t want to throw this away because of something we can’t make work.
They had fought the night before, and T’Challa doesn’t even remember why. He runs a hand over his face, looks at Nakia, finds her eyes.
Don’t look at me like that, she says, with a weak smile. But she comes closer, and T’Challa wraps her waist, pulls her into a hug. Holding Nakia is so natural at this point, almost instinctive.
T’Challa doesn’t need to remember why they fought. Whatever it was, it was only a façade for the real problem, the real question that hovers over them like an axe.
I can’t be your queen, Nakia whispers, and T’Challa takes a sharp breath.
If you stayed—
You know I can’t do that. Her voice is pained, and as a reflex T’Challa runs his hands over her slim, silky back, and he feels her body relax against his.
They stay like this for a while. Then Nakia pulls back, her eyes red and firm when they find his.
You’ll be a great king, she says, with such conviction T’Challa feels his chest tighten. He wishes he could be that sure. And you’ll have a queen to stand by your side, to keep our country’s traditions alive. Her voice breaks a little at the end, and she crosses her arms, her lips curling into a sad smile. But it won’t be me. You know that’s not me.
T’Challa opens his mouth, but Nakia is right. She’s right, and she’s so beautiful, and T’Challa wants her so much it’s painful.
I know
Nakia nods, her eyes now bright with tears, and she quickly rubs them off with the back of her hand. When she meets his gaze again, there’s that same conviction, and T’Challa knows there’s nothing he can say to change her mind, because that’s how Nakia works. She wouldn’t change. T’Challa falls in love with her all over again for that, as certain as he is hopeless.
They do remain friends, because of course they do. T’Challa has been friends with Nakia for so long, he doesn’t remember how to do it differently. And neither does she, he thinks, from the way she finds him between her trips, always with a bright smile and a ton of different stories.
They talk, bicker, argue politics, and if sometimes T’Challa’s gaze lingers on Nakia’s lips for a moment, making her cheeks darken, they don’t mention it.
When T’Challa gets back, after, Nakia holds his hand the entire time, in the quinjet. It’s an unusual situation – they don’t touch that much, nowadays – but T’Challa can barely enjoy it, chest tight and heavy with grief. It’s easier to drown himself in work than to think about his father’s body on the floor, cold and alone. Right now, waiting for the quinjet to land, T’Challa’s mind can’t help but see him die all over again, and he shuts his eyes and focuses on the warmth and softness of Nakia’s hand, her firm grip on his. It helps his breath calm down.
On the third time, they’re in the streets, watching people walk by. Nakia is right next to him, and the sun rays hit her face just as they did on that morning in his room so long ago. So much has changed – everything is about to change, forever – but she’s still just as beautiful.
T’Challa thanks her. For saving him, for saving his family. Those brown eyes watch him and he can feel her resolve shake. He wants to tell her it’s not necessary, but then his eyes are on her mouth and he ends up just leaning forward and kissing her.
You can’t blame me, I almost died.
Nakia leans forward immediately, lips chasing his in a soft peck, and she has a smile when she pulls away, soft and small and that T’Challa wants to see growing bigger.
Stay, he says.
Nakia’s smile shakes for a moment, but T’Challa doesn’t let his gaze waver, focused on the way the sun reflects in those dark eyes.
I think I know a way you can still fulfill your calling.
Nakia’s eyes widen for a moment, but then she gets it, and T’Challa can see it, can see the way realization spreads over her face and she leans forward, kissing him again.
The third time happens when T’Challa gets to watch Nakia falling in love with him.
(Deep down, he knows it’s not the first time for her, either. He wonders at which number she’s at.)