Never did he think that reconnecting with MJ had ever been a possibility, never did he think that he would ever find that drive again, that spark or passion to not only protect the city but to be... to become a better man —the very one MJ deserved— then the person he had been before. and it was all thanks to a kid from Brooklyn in an alternate dimension. Because of Miles, Peter was able to get his life back together, because of that kid he was able to find what he thought had been long gone.
Three months into this and he still felt that way. As he laid in bed, wide awake at three in the morning, with MJ's head laying contently against his chest. Peter stared that the ceiling, he stared and stared, thinking that maybe if he did it long enough that something would happen, just like last time. But when nothing changed, when everything stayed exactly as it should be, Peter felt something tight form in his throat, a dry, choked feeling that seemed to travel to his chest.
"Peter?" He heard MJ mutter, looking over he saw her lifting her head and rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Are you okay?"
No, he wasn't. He feels like a part of himself is missing and he doesn't know why.
But it was times such as this where Peter thought MJ had Spidey Sense too, cause through the years it didn't matter where they were or what they were doing, if something was bothering him, MJ always knew. And he loved that about her, the fact that she could read him so easily. Giving her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, he gently stroked her arm. "Yeah, I'm just thinking."
"That's dangerous." She murmured teasingly, placing as hand on his cheek.
Peter chuckled, lightly. Tilting just enough to place a peck against her palm with his lips. Then his gaze drifted back up towards the ceiling. After a few moments of silence, switched position and now she was on her back staring at the ceiling. "So what are we watching?" MJ asked as she flopped her arm around his shoulders. Peter, slowly, opened his mouth to reply, but he found that he couldn't say anything. So he merely sighed and tugged her closer to him, her warmth and presence keeping him from breaking.
God, what was wrong with him?
"You miss him." MJ says, her voice calm and sincere. It wasn't a question, more of a fact that Peter couldn't admit to himself.
Hemissedallofthem.
Not trusting his own voice, Peter just nodded, squeezing her that much closer. He didn't think it would happen. When he arrived in Miles' world all he wanted to do was to get back home. And when he met the kid, all Peter wanted to do was get away from him, thinking he was just a nuisance. Muttering how this was why he never had children, how even the thought of a child terrified him because of the responsibilities those would entail. But then he actually spent time with the kid, actually got to know him. And that annoyance turned into amusement and then after the kid ran away when the other gained up on him, after the kid came running to them, fear in his eyes saying that his Uncle was one of the bad guys, only minutes later having to watch him die right in front of him that amusement turned into painful understanding.
Seeing that same pain in Miles eyes, that heart breaking expression on his face, made Peter flash back to when it had been him, with his own Uncle. And he remembered, how much it hurt being so young and having to watch someone you love die. For Peter, what happened to Uncle Ben ate him up inside for weeks until he a handle on his powers. And when Peter looked at Miles, this kid that had a passion for singing and drawing, he saw that it was happening to him too, the dark storm of sadness and anger swirling around those brown eyes.
And dammit if that didn't make his heart clinch, because it did and now that understanding from before had now turned into something else.
He cared.
Peter cared about Miles.
Miles was the kid Peter never thought he'd have, the kid he was too scared to have. Now he knew Miles had his own father, and he isn't and would never tried to replace Jefferson as a father figure in Miles' life, no, he would never do that. Hell, Miles didn't even need to see Peter as anything but a mentor if he wanted. But for Peter, he couldn't deny that he saw the kid in that light, couldn't deny that Miles was family. And dammit if he didn't care about his family with every fiber in his body. It was one of the reasons why he didn't let the kid go with them to stop Kingpin, why when it came time for him to leave, did he not want to go.
Not only was it because Miles wasn't ready but because he knew that even if they all managed to get back home, if Miles tried to take Kingpin down on his own when he was still so filled with rage and heartache, then three things would happen; he would lose, he would die or he would die and lose.
And the thought of something bad happening to Miles, even if the kid could handle himself, was enough to out a permanent pit in his stomach.
"It's silly. I know." Peter stated, his voice low and gruff. "The kid was so annoying and yet..."
"And yet?" MJ pressed, her hand carding through his hair.
"I just wish I could see him again, see them all again, MJ." Peter ripped his gaze away from the ceiling and looked at his wife, into those deep understanding eyes of hers. "Being with Miles, being with all of them, made it better. They gave me something back I thought I lost long ago after I lost you and May; a good person."
"Oh Peter." His beautiful wife soothed out, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer, kissing him on his temple.
He clung to her, desperately as his throat seemed to be wanting to close up. "I once told you that the reason why I didn't want kids was because I thought we weren't ready, but that wasn't it. I wasn't ready. But I am now, I want kids, I'm sorry. I broke your heart and I'm so sorry." MJ said nothing as she continued to stroke his hair, humming, lovingly along as she did so. "I'm sorry."
"There isn't a Miles Morales here?" She inquired softly. Because MJ was smart and she knew that it wasn't just kids her husband wanted, he wanted Miles too. And Peter really wanted to say yes, but the cold truth was no, there wasn't a Miles in his own universe, he'd checked. Both of his parents, instead of marrying each other had found different partners.
But even if there was a Miles here, "It wouldn't be the same."
Three hours later, Peter found himself fighting off the Vulture of all people. As he thwipped his way through the air he couldn't stop himself from saying, "How'd you get out of prison this time, Adrian? Did a flock of bionic pigeons peck through the bars like last time?"
Adrian snarled, "I liked it better when you were retired."
Flipping in the air, he landed on Vulture's back did his best not to fall off as he tried to disassemble the mechanical wings. Usually this always did the trick to taking Adrian down, that or webbing up the wings but there have been several occasions where it didn't work, say he had a back-up power source or the wings were able to cut through his web fluid, Peter prayed that this wasn't the case here.
He hoped, he prayed.
Not like that did anything.
Vulture was able to get a hold of his leg and slam Peter into a building. His head hitting the concrete hard, enough to make his vision blur and for his head to spin, but Adrian wasn't done yet. With Peter's vulnerable state, Vulture used it to his advantage by taking Peter by the ankle and hoisting him up into the air. Peter tried to break free but his head was still so disoriented he couldn't see straight. All the while he was cursing at himself, not only by the situation, but he also realized that he didn't restock on his web-shooters.
Stupid
Idiotic
How could I have made such a rookie mistake?
Then as he felt himself falling, Peter could do nothing but watch as his beloved city came into view, his New York. Maybe if he wished hard enough, it would be forgiven and caught him gently so that he doesn't splat on the ground.
As the ground was getting closer, he faintly heard someone shout in his ear. "PETER!" And then his descendent decreased and then overall stop entirely. Someone had grasped at his waist and was now carrying him. Flying through the air, being carried by someone else, was strange seeing as it has always been the other way around.
Peter must have blacked out for a few moments because he now found himself on the cemented ceilings of one of the many rooftops of the many building in his New York. He lay there, staring up at the deep clue sky above him, that was just now turning a few shades of orange and yellow. "Is this heaven?" He wondered aloud. Was his friend Stan gonna come greet him with a warm hello, like he always did?
"No, but it almost was. You scared me, man."
Peter froze up completely when he heard that voice, Sitting bolt upward he look and saw Miles kneeling down in front of him. And yes, it was Miles. All dressed up in his Spider-Man attire and everything. Short, awkward, lovable Miles, the very kid that looked up to him in no other another kid could, the very kid who changed Peter's life for the better. "Miles?" He breathed out, frozen to the spot.
Even behind his mask, Peter could actually feel Miles smile. "Hey, Pete. How's it going?"
Peter didn't know if it was the obvious concussion he had from the battle with Vulture, whom he now realized is still at large, his emotions or maybe a little bit of both. But Peter found himself, reaching forward, tugging on Miles' thin wrists and yanking him forward.
Miles let out a tiny squeak of surprise when his face hit Peter's shoulder with a light thump as Peter's arms embraced the teens small body. Peter held onto Miles, tightly, as though he was afraid that the second he let go, Miles would be gone. "Miles..." He said, his tone a mixture of a laugh and a choked noise as he felt his eyes sting. "I missed you, kiddo."
God, did he miss him.
Peter wasn't expecting Miles to return the hug, in fact, he was already fixing on letting go, since he knew that Miles was at that stage in his youth where physical affection really wasn't something boys did at his age. Which is why he was shocked when, before Peter could even put his arms down, Miles raised his and clung onto him, not as desperately as Peter had been but enough for Peter to know that Miles missed him just as much.
"Missed you too." The kid said, his voice muffled against Peter's shoulder. And for a while they stayed like that. Both content with the fact that the other was there.
When they finally pulled apart Peter made sure to keep a hand on Miles' shoulder, giving the kid a watery smile. He chuckled, slipping off his mask to wipe at his nose with his sleeve. "How are you here, kiddo? Is it Fisk again?" The thought of Kingpin starting up his Hadron Collider again caused a pit to grow in Peter's stomach.
Miles shook his head, "No, nothing like that. It's just..." The kid trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Just, what?" He pressed, curiously.
"I kinda, maybe was feeling lonely. And I was telling May how I wished I could see you and everyone again. It was just in passing, you know? Just venting, is all. Two days later she calls me and gives me this." Miles then held out his wrist for Peter to examine. Upon expectation, Peter saw that the kid was wearing what looked like an Apple Watch, but bigger and a lot larger in width. "She was able to take Fisk's idea and make it real. The difference is that it's actually safe and no harm to me or anyone else."
"So, your saying that you'll be able to pop into any dimension as you please?"
"That's what May said." Miles stated with a smile.
Peter laughed out loud, almost hysterically— he probably really needed to go to the hospital, but right now he refused to pay that attention. Not when Miles just have him the best news he's received since the day Jameson actually thanked him for saving the city and actually acknowledged that he was wrong about Spider-Man being a menace.
Overcome with joy, he pulled Miles back into another embrace, which the kid happily returned with a small giggle of his own. "I'm glad to hear that, kid." Squeezing the teen to him that much closer.
"Wanna go meet MJ?"
"Yeah! Did you two fix things?"
"Pfft, c'mon buddy, it's me."
"Sooo, no?"
Peter scoffed and nudged Miles playfully at the teasing comment as they made their way back to his apartment, running and thwipping through the vast building of Peter's New York City. "Hey, I'll have you know I'm an expert at fixing relationships!" Miles laughed cheerfully, as he kicked off another building and Peter joined in seconds later.
And there amongst all the building and busy people going about their lives down below them, Peter felt that missing piece, that ache inside him fade away, because now, he... everything felt whole.