Chapter 2
It turned out that Albus’ parents had been on their way over to Hogwarts when he and his brother had bumped into them in Hogsmeade last week. Albus wasn’t sure why they’d come and he doubted it was so his dad could check up on him; his father had already made that possible through a weekly checkup via Mcgonagall’s fireplace. He’d been on his way back to the common room when he’d crossed his father in the halls, suspiciously following behind Mcgonagall. His dad had played off whatever he was hiding well, ushering Albus to the side and engaging in conversation hastily. Albus still wasn’t sure what he’d really been doing.
It was already the countdown of the last couple of weeks before summer and Albus was so tired of it. He still hadn't done very much of the work Scorpius had been pushing him to do all week. Slughorn had set an unspeakable amount that Albus wasn’t even ready to look at, and the history of magic work was equally as daunting. Several teachers- and Scorpius- had reminded him that the work not completed would need to be done over the summer. It was all work needed for OWLs next year and Albus wasn’t keen on the idea of failing.
That morning they had Transfiguration first with Professor Mcgonagall and he knew she would not be happy with the little work he’d done. She was still infuriated with both the boys and whilst having been reluctant to set a punishment she made sure she wasn’t being lenient around them, unlike other teachers.
Scorpius had awoken at a similar time to Albus and both boys made their way down to the great hall together.
“Have you noticed Mateos speaking to us more?” Scorpius grinned. Mateos Zabini was one of their dorm mates, he had never made any effort to interact with either Albus or Scorpius- he did an overall great job of ignoring the boys. Usually speaking in hushed whispers over the other side of the room and occasionally glancing up at them. Albus had to admit he was a little confused at the sudden interactions.
“Yeah, it’s strange.” Albus shrugged.
“I know, it’s not as if we’re any different, nothing has changed. Anyway, how much of the truth do they even know?” Scorpius said what Albus had been wondering since they’d gotten back.
He wasn’t sure of what anyone knew. He’d heard versions of the truth- however nothing was accurate enough to the frightful actuality. He knew that his Aunt Hermione had ensured nothing hit the prophet and done her best to conceal everything she could. Though of course most people in Hogwarts knew some sort of baseline to what had happened. There’d been an announcement in the great hall regarding Craig’s death- a couple of days after it happened. Professor Mcgonagall hadn’t told the truth, Albus could understand why, she’d informed the school that it had been a medical issue. Not many people knew what had actually happened- but not many people believed what Mcgonagall had said. People knew of Scorpius and Albus’ disappearance, just not exactly what had happened- it didn’t take long for two and two to be put together.
Scorpius and Albus had made it to the great hall at a particularly busy time, and there was a loud chatter of voices in the hall. It was difficult navigating an empty spot at the Slytherin table and decided to make their way towards a vacant space beside Mateos and Elias Higgs (who was another boy in the dorm).
“Albus! Scorpius!” Mateos beamed, surprised.
“Sit here, there’s loads of space.”
Albus squashed next to Mateos and Scorpius sat opposite. “Thanks.” Albus awkwardly scratched his neck. “It’s- er quite busy…isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I guess everyone’s a little more eager to get up at the moment, the last couple of weeks before summer.” Mateos chuckled, running a hand through a mess of silky black hair.
Albus nodded slowly and sat there in silence for a couple of seconds before deciding to reach forwards and grab a croissant.
Mateos still struggled to keep the conversation going. “Transfiguration first.”
“Have you completed the most recent homework?” Scorpius questioned, who was awkwardly playing with the food he’d placed on his plate
“No, Mcgonagall loves me though it’ll be fine.”
Scorpius paused. “I can help you with it now if you’d like?” He also glanced at Albus who he knew hadn’t done it.
“Elias hasn’t done it either. I know that Thea Astel hasn’t, oh and Sam Byrne. It’s okay.” Mateos waved off Scorpius’ suggestion. Elias agreed quietly, his freckled cheeks twisting into a smile.
“How about you Albus?” Scorpius tried again, clearly concerned for him and how behind he was with his workload.
“I’ll be fine.”
“See, another person that’s not done it!” Mateos laughed.
Once seated in Mcgonagall’s class she’d hardly even paused to think before she immediately began to call out names, requesting homework.
“Elias Higgs”
“Sorry, Professor. I haven’t got it with me.” He retorted.
Mcgonagall tutted, and let out a long sigh. “This is probably the fifth person today. Please provide it by tomorrow's lesson or you’ll land yourself in detention.” A crease formed between her eyebrows and she pushed her glasses closer to her face as she squinted down at the next name.
“Albus Potter.” She glanced up at him, eyebrows raised.
“I haven’t got it either, sorry.” He dared to look up at her.
This time the pause was longer and more personal. He assumed this would be where she let out her built up anger he’d created. “Potter, it’s just not good enough. You know that I expect homework for when I've asked. See me at the end.”
Albus had expected it, a few sympathetic glances were shot his way- as well as a couple raised eyebrows. He just sunk down further in his chair, he was used to the unwelcoming glares, not stares of sympathy. He preferred the glares, honestly.
“Yes, professor.”
The lesson continued like normal and Albus tried paying attention, redeeming himself, as Mcgonagall explained the advantages of transfiguration with smaller objects. He was struggling though. Sitting still with your own thoughts was difficult when they weren’t very nice. He needed more distractions, he couldn’t get lost in his own mind like he’d done countless times that week- it never ended well.
To his left Scorpius had been furiously scribbling down notes for the past ten minutes. To his right Mateos was leaning back on his chair- reaching towards Elias; he had a screwed up piece of parchment in his hand. He adjusted the square glasses perched on his nose and tossed it towards Mateos. The sable haired boy unfolded it and let out a clamorous chuckle.
“Mr Zabini, focus please.”
At the end of the lesson, people started to pack up and Albus made his way over the Mcgonagall at the front of the classroom- looking behind at Scorpius who was waiting in the doorway. She was sitting behind her desk jotting messily on a notepad.
“Er, Professor?”
She glanced up at Albus, her stern expression still remained. Albus wondered if the woman had ever smiled: he doubted. “Potter. Sit down.” She indicated toward a stool in the corner that was now flying towards him.
Albus sat down hesitantly and looked back at Mcgonagall who was still staring deeply at him. She had now put down her quill and had both hands placed in front of her on the desk. “How are you finding it?” Albus thought she’d asked a very broad question. He was finding this current situation very uncomfortable, but not as much as his work situation.
“Well. It’s…difficult. I guess.” He couldn’t lie to her, not when she knew he was struggling.
“Yes, I gathered. Is the work too difficult? Because I’m sure we could arrange extra remedial classes to get you up to date with your classmates.”
Albus didn’t like that idea, even more work didn’t seem like a good solution to his problem. “No, the work is fine.”
Mcgonagall faltered for a second. “Then what is the problem, Albus, help me understand.”
Now it was his turn to pause. “I don’t- I don’t know.”
She raised her eyebrows, like she knew he was lying. “I know you’ve dealt with a lot. I just need you to understand how important your work is. You have OWLs next year and if you don’t complete this years work then you will struggle.”
Albus knew this. He’d been reminded countless times. It was the only thing people seemed to be saying to him at the moment. “Sorry Professor. I’m going to try harder, I promise.” He really meant it. He just had to heal first.
“I have contacted your father, as well. Your fireplace session has been cancelled. He will be meeting you in person this evening. Come to my office at normal time.” She finished. Albus hadn’t expected that.
“Why is he meeting me in person?” Albus decided to question.
Mcgonagall sighed, as if she knew it was coming. “He’s worried, Albus. He wants you to get better and I cannot prevent him from visiting- given the circumstances- so he will meet you this evening. Now go to your next lesson, thank you.” With that Albus slowly nodded before making his way to the exit where Scorpius was still standing, reading through a text book.
“What took you so long?” Scorpius questioned, looking up from the book.
“The usual. She’s worried, my dads worried. Everyone’s fucking worried. Oh and my dad is visiting me in person tonight apparently, Merlin knows what that’s about.” Albus ranted, aggressively pacing forward- as they started to make their way to Potions.
“Maybe they are concerned, Al. I mean you have been completely unfocused since...” Scorpius shrugged and trailed off, looking a bit sick.
Albus was so fed up with worrying. He just wanted to get better. He was trying. He needed to get better. He would keep trying. Until he got there. Wherever ‘there’ was.
For now, though, he wasn’t in the mood for Scorpius’ opinion on the way he’d been acting. Whether it was the truth or not. He would much rather fight; fight until he drew blood.
And so he did.
“Look, I’m sorry that what happened fucked me up so badly, okay? I’m sorry that you have to watch it happen and I’m glad that it’s clearly not had the same effect on you!” He stabbed his best friend right in the chest.
Scorpius looked startled. He quickly gained composure. “Who’s to say that?” He fought back.
This time Albus was left with a wound.
“Well, you seem to be getting on fine. You jumped right back into how it was before- better than it was before, even. You’ve caught up with work, you can focus in class, you can sleep. I can’t do any of that. So please, please stop with the “keep trying to get better Albus” or the “it will be okay Al” because right now it’s not okay no matter how much I’m trying.”
He could’ve kept going, but tears had started streaming down his face and it didn’t look good. He didn’t look very intimidating whilst he was crying. Albus sped off in the other direction before Scorpius could respond.
He wasn’t quite sure where he was going but he kept walking. The hallways were empty and all students were currently in class. He could hear voices and rushed past several classrooms. He just kept walking though, until he was certain he was alone. He made it to the end of a lengthy corridor with a window ledge, big enough to sit upon, and he hoisted himself up leaning his back on the wall with a sigh. There were still tears falling down his cheeks, he wiped them away feeling a familiar sting on his skin as he did so.
After a while he began to hear voices in the corridor again. He thought he could hear Mcgonagall, and somebody else. He quietened his sniffles. There was a man with her, he recognised the voice;his dad.
He peered round the ledge at the worst time. He made direct eye contact with his dad. This was the second time in the last week he’d seen his father on the Hogwarts grounds, it seemed somewhat suspicious. His dad looked more tired than he had days before, there were dark rings beneath his eyes and a slight crease between his eyebrows. There was look of slight surprise when he noticed his youngest son before him. He rubbed his eyes and walked faster towards Albus, making sure it was actually him. He was now close enough to be certain.
“Al?”
Albus gave in and slid down from the ledge. He was ready to be lectured for not being in class, he knew it would happen at some point that day- his dad would eventually find out.
“What are you doing out of class…sat on a window?”
Albus wasn’t quite sure what to say. He wasn’t ready to talk about the argument he’d just had with Scorpius, that wound was still too fresh. What else could he say? Though the tears beat his voice, taking over once again. He could feel them sliding down his face, a lot faster now. Mcgonagall had stopped further back, allowing Harry and Albus to have a moment.
His dad immediately took action and began to fret. “Albus? Al. What’s wrong? What happened? Hey, come here.” He enveloped Albus into a tight hug, which he just embraced; too tired to fight off. He continued to sob lightly onto his dads shoulder, soaking through his shirt.
“Albus.” His dad repeated his name, still expecting an answer.
Albus would have to tell him at some point. He hadn’t opened up to his dad much, at least not about the thoughts that still stung. He knew he should probably do so though, he didn’t want it to get worse. He knew better than ever now that bottling up feelings got you absolutely nowhere.
“I’m so sorry, dad.”
Harry squeezed Albus tighter. “It’s not your fault.”
But of course it was his fault; how couldn’t it be.
He stayed silent.
“I need you to speak to me, Albus.”
The corridor was getting louder now and Albus pulled away from his dad, revealing a tear stained face. “Okay.” Students began to file out of classrooms, heading in different directions for break. He needed to get out of this corridor, Albus Potter being seen with Harry Potter was something people enjoyed a little too much. He wasn’t ready to entertain it. His father could sense that too. “Al, let’s go somewhere else. We can talk there now instead of later.”
His dad headed in the direction of the swarm of people and signalled to Mcgonagall, he seemed unbothered by the stares they were both getting and the whispers that followed. He was used to them, even more than Albus was. Though they were usually the good kind, not that kind that dug deep into your soul and nested there forever- Albus was used to those. No one seemed to want to keep walking and Harry grabbed onto Albus’ arm practically dragging him through everyone.
“Students. Move please, for merlin’s sake!” Mcgonagall boomed. “Go outside and enjoy the sun, please don’t congregate in the corridors.”
A squeal, that couldn’t be mistaken for anyone but Lily Potter, sounded from behind Albus. It followed with a forceful yank of his robes and his little sister bounding at him. As he turned around she instantly noticed his face, and the state he was in. She glanced at their dad who had obviously also heard his daughter screaming at his presence.
“Lils, are you okay?”
Lily grinned and immediately enveloped her father into a tight hug. “I’m great, dad! What are you doing here though? Also, is Al okay? Oh and can Scarlet stay over the summer? She’s been begging all week and I really really want her to, so please?”
“Slow down, Lils. I think your mother should be the decipher on whether Scarlet stays or not. And I'm just going to Mcgonagall’s office to talk to Al.”
“Great! Can I come too? I haven’t seen you in ages, well a couple of weeks ago…but you’re my dad so that is ages!” She continued to ramble.
His dad weirdly hesitated at Lily’s question before answering. “Actually, yeah come along, there’s something I need to ask you all.” He looked towards Mcgonagall who had been patiently waiting on the side. “Could you grab James for me? Bring him up to your office and we’ll meet you there.”
Mcgonagall seemed to understand and nodded before turning in the opposite direction towards the staircase.
Albus was extremely confused now. He had no idea what his dad wanted to ask them, he’d never really done that before- asked their opinions on matters. That must mean it's important, or his dad was trying to be better. Either one was equally as frightening.
Once they’d made it up to Mcgonagall’s office, avoiding the stares of passing students, they were welcomed by James and Mcgonagall who had surprisingly made it there before them. On the way Harry had taken the wrong staircase- forgetting the way and diverting their journey quite dramatically. Albus glanced towards James, he looked worriedly at his younger brother and sister. “Is everything okay, dad?”
Harry smiled at James warmly. “Yeah, don’t worry James, everything is fine.”
James didn’t seem convinced- he looked back over at Albus having noticed the mess he was in. “Al doesn’t look fine. Are you okay?”
Albus nodded a slow nod and rubbed his eyes, which stung. He noticed Lily had taken a seat on the sofa behind them, so Albus fell down beside her, James following in suit.
“Right. I have a question to ask you all.” He looked over at Albus, “and it’s important you answer with the truth.”
“Yeah, what is it?” James exasperated, growing inpatient.
Harry avoided eye contact with his youngest son and took a deep breath. “I've been offered the job as the new defence against the dark arts teacher, and I want to accept it, what do you think?”
There it was.
Albus’ worst nightmare.
His father teaching him, his classmates being taught by his father, his father breathing down his neck all day, even more endless taunting. He really didn’t think it was a good idea. He wasn’t sure if he could manage that. Yet.
Lily squealed and jumped up to wrap her arms around her dad. “Yes dad! Yes! Yes! Yes! No more homework!”
“No Lily…”
James whooped loudly, clearly loving the idea of his dad teaching him. “That is the best news ever! I think you should do it dad.”
Harry looked a little more relieved and smiled at his eldest son, then daring to look over at his youngest. Albus was still sitting on the sofa trying to process it all.
“Al?”
They made brief eye contact. “Yeah, dad. I think you should do it.”
Harry looked as if he’d dropped a ton of bricks, relief flooded his face. “Really?”
“Yeah. It would be good, I think.” Albus wasn’t sure how convincing it sounded, he thought he was doing pretty well. Maybe he’d be able to convince himself into the idea if he kept it up long enough, he had until after the summer. For now though, he just wanted to make his dad happy.
His dad looked back at Mcgonagall who smiled eagerly. “So I assume that is a yes, Mr Potter?”
Harry chuckled. “Yes. I will take the job, thank you.”
Albus glanced at both James and Lily who still seemed to be buzzing with excitement. Albus could see how it would benefit them, boost their popularity and status- he wasn’t sure if the same would apply to him. Could it?
“Okay, James and Lily. You can go back to your friends now. I’ll try and say goodbye to you when I leave, if I can.” His dad turned around to say, obviously wanting to have the originally intended conversation with Albus.
“What about Al?” James didn’t miss the fact that their dad hadn’t included Albus.
“I just need to speak to him.”
“About what? You said he was fine. Has something happened?” James began to interrogate Harry.
“James. Leave it please, and go back outside.”
“I will. But first tell me what-“
“James!” Harry hollered, his temper rising rapidly. James left it this time, not wanting to upset his dad anymore, and patted Albus on the shoulder before making his way out the door. Lily shortly followed behind him hugging her dad just before she did so.
Mcgonagall now looked as if she was searching for a reason to leave and looked around. “I think I’ll go and make sure they are actually leaving.” Both Harry and Albus knew James and Lily had definitely followed their dads orders but watched as Mcgonagall exited the room anyway.
Both were now surrounded by silence and Harry stayed out for a moment- unsure of how to start.
“Can I sit?”
Albus realised this was going to be a long excruciating conversation, because Harry Potter really wasn’t good at talking about feelings. And neither was Albus.
“Yeah.”
There was a long held silence between father and son.
“Albus.”
A little more silence.
“Please talk to me.”
Albus didn’t think he’d ever been so conflicted over four words. What did he want him to say, what did he want to talk about. Albus had plenty to say. He just wasn’t sure how to conduct it. Was he meant to talk about how he felt? What just happened with Scorpius? Or even how school was going? Too many answers to four words.
“I don’t know how, dad.”
“Okay…” He waited as his dad thought of what to say next. “What had upset you earlier?”
“Nothing. Just stressed I guess; tired.”
He looked up at his father who was staring down at him, looking very unconvinced. “I don’t believe that’s the only reason.”
“I had an argument with Scorpius.” Albus just decided to get it over and done with.
“Oh?”
“It was stupid, really. We disagreed on something.”
Harry hesitated, seeming unsure whether to push it any further or not. “Did you…want to talk about it?”
Albus shrugged. He really did; it just didn’t feel right. Deep down he didn’t feel comfortable enough, no matter how badly he needed it out.
“Not really.”
“Okay. How’s school?” He said this with a tone of knowing.
“Fine.”
A pause.
“Neville owled me. He seems to think you’re struggling.”
There it was. Of course. “I don’t know. It’s just hard to focus at the moment, there’s too much going on in my head.”
“I get it, Albus.” God he hated it when his dad told him that.
“No you don’t.”
He hated how no matter what had happened his problems would always seem minor compared to Harry Potter. Everyone knew that- how could you complain to someone who single handedly saved the wizarding world. “I’m sorry, you’re right, I don’t.”
Albus sighed, not exactly satisfied. He honestly just needed to sleep more than ever- he was so tired of everyone and everything. “Is it okay if I go up to the dorms? I just sort of need to be on my own for a bit.”
Harry checked his watch. “Well…you still have three more lessons today. I feel I should probably make you go to them.”
“Dad- please.”
Harry looked pitifully at his son. “Fine, I’ll speak to Mcgonagall and convince her. Don’t worry, you can go.”
Albus smiled slightly and thanked his dad before heading towards the door.
“Oh, and Albus. Speak to Scorpius, you need each other. Especially at the moment.”
Albus faltered slightly at the fact that his dad was being so soft, but accepted it with a hug and continued to make his way out of the door towards the common room.