billion
Tim was clutching at his belly, doubled-over himself, laughing those high-pitched whines he does when he’s actually laughing, not the sarcastic snort or the annoying ‘HA. HA.’ he does when he doesn’t give two shits.
Dick was trying to steady his shaking hand that’s holding up his phone, recording the whole spectacle before his eyes. Ah, correction: he was livestreaming the whole thing.
Damian was trying his best to hide his own chuckles from behind his book, Jason’s copy of the ‘Canon of Sherlock Holmes’ he borrowed for the week. Jason only let people borrow books from his collection if by the end of the week, they’d have prepared a book report on whichever novel or reference book they took.
Speaking of Jason, he was perched on the back of the sofa, wearing one of the plastic Batman masks one can find in practically any leading supermarket or major shopping malls. He was doing impressions of Bale-man, which seemed to irk Bruce.
The old man was at his wits ends, ignoring the random, but hilarious statements Jason was saying in his baritone that he made as gratingly deep as he can; petty attempts at copying the actor’s diction.
But at least he’s got the accent right…
“You’re not my dad, ugly ass fucking noodle head.”
Dick wasn’t as up to date to vines and memes as Tim and Damian were. The youngest of the brood only recently got into it after he got annoyed that one time Jon and Colin were over at the manor, and they were talking to Tim in Vine, which was, regrettably, Damian’s worst language.
“I swear to god, Jason, I will pay you a million dollars, just stop. Please.” Bruce whines from the other end of the couch, where he was trying to ignore his sons, and continue reading a business newspaper.
“Make it a billion, and then we’ll talk. XOXO gossip girl.” Then Jason gives Bruce a Z-snap, eliciting another round of guffaws and wheezing laughs from the other boys.
Still, Bruce was glad his boys were getting along, even if it were at the expense of his own sanity.
(Okay, maybe he wasn’t all too glad once Jason started singing Despacito at the top of his Bale-man impressions lungs)