“Steve! Bucky! Let’s go!” Y/N shouts over the playground and gets at least Steve to look up. Bucky races around with a few boys which seem to be in his age. He doesn’t look at her and just tackles on of his new friends down, both laughing. She sees Steve looking around for Bucky and back to his little castle he had made. As so often he sits alone in the sandpit, kids playing around him but never with him. Bucky often plays with him but on some occasions the older boy wants to have kids in his own age to play with. Each time Y/N sees it her heart brakes a little. Steve is a sweet boy, caring and even as kid a bit charming. He protects his friends although he’s sometimes a bit careless of his own safety. But Steve is small and frail and Y/N often hears even the parents asking themselves if he even can play with others or should be playing outside. She gets angry more often than she wants to admit but never says a word. She watches Steve for a second as he carefully stands up, looks around and then runs up to her, falling once as he does. “Hey, sweetie.” Y/N crouches down and catches him as he runs up to her. She presses a big kiss on his cheek. Steve hugs her but then he looks back at the sandpit. “Mommy, did you see my castle?”
“Yes, I did. Your covered in sand, Stevie.” She smiles down at him and claps the remaining sand from his new, thick winter jacket. “Can I show Cloudy?”
“Okay. But be quick and careful, so he doesn’t get dirty. We want to go out to eat dinner today.” Steve nods and smiles as he takes his sheep from Y/N. He runs off again and Y/N sees him stumble at the same spot he fell before. Again, she takes a look around and finds Bucky, still chasing his friends. “Bucky! Come on, we want to get dinner!” This time the brunette looks up to her. He waves at her before turning to his new friends. A few seconds later he comes running to her. “Mommy! Mommy!” His breathing is quick and his face is really red. His hair is wet from sweat and clings to his forehead. “I won this time. Terry and Lucas weren’t fast enough this time. Did you see how fast I was? I was like whoosh.” Buck lays his hand horizontal in the air and turns himself in a circle while making a noise. Y/N laughs and stops him before her. “I see. You’re really fast. Here.” She passes him his new beanie and watches as he eyes it suspiciously before placing it on top of his head. “Where is Steve?”
“He shows Cloudy his sandcastle. There he comes. Oh, no.” Just as she points in his direction Steve falls a second time and lands flat on his face. For a second, he lays there and looks up at Y/N, face full of dirt. Then he sits up and his eyes water. Y/N clasps Bucky’s shoulder and leans down to him. “Wait here. I go get him, and we go to get dinner.” She rushes of and runs up to Steve. Carefully she sits the crying boy on his feet, claps away the dirt and checks him for injuries. She carefully cleans up his face with a tissue and picks him up in her arms, the now dirty sheep pressed between her and him. “It’s okay Stevie. It gets better in a second.” She soothes him and steps up to Bucky again. “Stevie. Don’t cry.” Bucky pats as high as he can reach which happens to be more of Steve’s calf than anything else. Steve reaches down so Y/N lowers him, places him back on the ground and watches as Bucky takes Steve’s hand. Together they walk in front of Y/N, off of the playground and into the direction Y/N sends them.
* * *
“Come on boys. Let’s go to the restroom, and then we can leave.” Y/N stands up and takes Steve’s hand while Bucky runs ahead in the directions of the toilets. Tony stays at their table. He had called Y/N about two hours ago and after she had told him they would eat outside of the compound today, he shorthanded invited himself in and joined the three. He pays the bill as they walk away and helps them in their coats as they return. He straps Bucky into his car seat and Y/N helps Steve. She smiles at the sight. A brand-new Lamborghini with two child seats is a sight Y/N finds amusing but Tony argues that he doesn’t mind. At least not as long as the seats are for his two favorite nephews. “Tony you do know that were not related, do you? They aren’t your nephews.”
“They are my nephews when they are little.” Tony shrugs and looks at her. “They live in my building and so are you. That makes us sort of family. A big, happy family, of course, which leads for them to be my nephews.” Y/N smiles at him and slips on the passenger seat. She doesn’t mind, because she feels the same. They all are like a family. They share much of their free time together and help each other. That’s something that she barely manages to do with her brothers. Neither Bucky nor Steve know their uncles, so she mentally starts planning vacation to Germany to at least visit one of her brothers. “What are you thinking about?” Y/N turns her face away from the window and the streetlights to look at Tony. “I was thinking about visiting my brother and his wife in Germany. His daughter was born a few weeks ago. And I thought that Steve and Bucky never got to know him or my other brother.” Tony nods. “They might like the vacation and after what happened last time, we were in Germany it might get the country to look better for them if they are big.” He throws a look into the rear back mirror. Y/N turns around and smiles. Both Steve and Bucky had their heads at an unusual angle. They are fast asleep but still holding hands. She takes her phone out and snaps a picture. “Why are you always doing this?”
“What? Taking pictures?” She looks at her mobile as Tony nods. Then she snaps a quick picture of him, too. Looking at it he laughs at his expression. “Because I like it. I want to make an album for them to look at later. Just in case something happens.” Her voice turns a bit serious as she looks at the picture of Tony. “Why are you thinking that something happens? We would never let that happen.” Tony drives a bit slower and looks at her with a frown. “You never know that. I got captured before. And Steve and Bucky always get in danger. Nobody of you can promise protection as long as you go out and fight whatever is coming. I mean, sometimes you all leave and I’m left alone. Not to talk of the people running around on the compound, of course. But things can happen. It did twice now, and we got lucky that nothing serious happened beside me dropping once or this power thing.”
“Y/N. Listen, I know you’re worried. But I promise you, neither of us would EVER let anything happen to you or to anybody else. We’re always coming and always saving each other.” Y/N looks at Tony’s serious face. A small smile slips on her face. “I know you’ll always try your best. The album is just in case. Besides, they’re cute like this.” She shows him the picture she took of her boys and looks back once more. Bucky yawns and his head roll to the other side, hair covering his face now. He clutches his bear to his chest. Steve makes a little pleased sound as Bucky’s hand tightens on his own. Y/N smiles and looks out of her window again.
Twenty minutes later she’s carrying Bucky into the building and up onto their floor. Tony carries Steve and lays him down in bed, carefully changing him in his sleepwear. As Y/N lowers Bucky the boy yawns and rubs his eyes. “Mommy?”
“Hey, sweetie. We’re home. Go back to sleep.” She kisses his forehead and strokes his hair. The brunette closes his eyes and is out again as she carefully changes him, too. Y/N walks over to Steve and leans down to give him a kiss, too, before she stops and frowns. “What?” Tony whispers and scrutinizes her. “Did Steve have his sheep in your car?” Her eyes remain on Steve as she tuns her head in Tony’s direction before she looks at Tony. “Don’t think so.” He shrugs his shoulders and makes a questioning face. “Shit. Then he forgot it in the restaurant.”
“Should I go back and get it?”
“No…” Y/N thinks for a second before she shakes her head. “No. I hope he sleeps through the night. I’ll go and pick it up tomorrow. They probably have closed when you arrive, anyway.”
“I don’t mind. I’m sure they open up again if I tun up on their doorsteps.”
“No, thank you. Tomorrow will do.”
“OK. It's up to you. Then I’ll go down to my lab.”
“Thank you, Tony. Good night.” Y/N gets Tony to the door and hugs him a last time. “Y/N.” She looks at him. Tony’s hands frame her face, and he takes a firm look at her. “I promise you; I’ll do everything I can, I get anybody who is needed to keep you and the boys safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I know.” She smiles at him and hugs him once more, kissing his cheek before breaking the hug. “Good night, Tony.”
“Night.” She watches as he leaves before, she retreats back to the kids’ room and gives Steve a kiss once again. Back in the living room she grabs her laptop and connects her phone with it. It takes her about an hour and a half to sort the pictures she had made of her boys until now and put them into a file and drag and drop them on a stick to print out the next time she goes into the city. “Mom? Mommy.” She looks up from the screen to see a sleepy, eyes rubbing Steve next to the coffee table. His hair is messy and he sniffles. “I can’t find Cloudy.” He sniffles again. Y/N looks at him and sighs. I knew he wouldn’t sleep through the night. She looks him over and notices his wet pants. “I’m sorry, honey.” She stands up and takes Steve’s hand. Together they walk into their bathroom. She lets him climb up the stairs of the changing table. “We forgot Cloudy in the restaurant. I’ll go and pick him up tomorrow afternoon.” Steve’s eyes water as he strips out of his pants and underpants. “No. He’s scared. He doesn’t like the dark.”
“I know, sweetie. But I can’t pick him up earlier. I’m sorry. I’m sure Cloudy can be brave for one night. Okay?” Steve shakes his head and sobs. Y/N passes him his new pants and hugs him as he slips into them. She carries him back into his and Bucky’s room and sets him on the floor. She makes quick work of changing his sheets but Steve is already climbing in into Bucky’s bed. So; she walks over to them and crouches down in front of the smaller boy. “I know you miss him. But do you think Bucky will be enough tonight? Can you be brave for Cloudy?” Slowly Steve nods before reaching for her. She leans down and gives him at least a dozen kisses before Steve chooses that it’s enough. The boy cuddles closer to Bucky, slipping under his metal arm and hides his face in the sleeping boy’s chest. Y/N sits there for a while, rubbing his back and stroking his hair until Steve falls back asleep. She goes back to the sofa, places the laptop back on her lap and stares at the now dark screen. She curses shortly before starting the device again. She goes through her mails, looks at some sites for toys and clothe and checks the prices for tickets to Germany. Then she shuts down the laptop again. She walks into her bathroom, brushes her teeth and changes into her nightshirt before she climbs in her own bed. She’s just about to drift off as her door opens and a crying Steve comes back in. “Mommy!” He runs up to her side. She turns on her bedside lamp and sits up. She reaches for him and lifts him up into her lap. Steve clutches to her, cries and talks about Cloudy in an unintelligible voice. Trying to shush and calm him down she rubs his back. Eventually she stands up and rocks him a little, which normally helps to calm him down faster but today nothings seem to work. He just can’t fall back asleep without his best, stuffed friend. It takes a few minutes for her to register that she and Steve get wet again. She looks at him and sighs. With the crying boy she walks back into the kids’ bathroom and changes his pants and her shirt once more. This time she gives Steve a diaper and decides to try sleeping without one another time. At some point Bucky comes in and joins them, holding Steve’s hand the whole time. By the time of four in the morning Steve finally falls asleep. He has been crying himself to sleep this night.
* * *
Y/N peeks into the playroom. Bucky sits beside Steve and looks at him. The blonde sits at his table, a pencil in his hand and draws random patterns over the paper in front of him. He hasn’t said a word the whole morning and declined each offer to play with Bucky or doing anything else. Instead, he snaps at his brother each time he speaks with him which makes Bucky frustrated. Y/N can tell because he’s growing less enthusiastic to get his brother to play with him. Steve is just sitting on the same spot the whole day and does what he is doing right now. “Stevie, wanna play with my cars? I’ve got a new one from uncle Sam.” Bucky reaches out his new car for his brother to take but Steve slaps it out of his hand and stands up. “I don’t want a stupid car!” He runs out of the room and into his adult bedroom. He rarely enters it as a kid, finding it boring, but when he does it’s always a bed sign. Y/N knows that when she follows him, she will probably find him under the bed, rolled into a tight ball and crying again. She looks back at Bucky who draws his knees to his chest and lies his forehead on them. Slowly crouching down beside him she pushes his hair back behind his ear. “He’s really sad, Bucky. Please don’t be mad at him.”
“Why won’t he play with me? Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” She kisses his head as the boy looks up to her. Bucky climbs on her lap as she sits down into a crossed leg seat beside him. “Steve lost Cloudy last night. He is sleeping all alone in the restaurant we went yesterday. You remember it?”
“With the pretty fish tank?”
“Yes, right. And because he forgot Cloudy, he couldn’t sleep well last night. You saw that. Now he’s really sad. He misses him. But I’m sure he doesn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Can’t we get Cloudy?” Bucky looks at her questioning, but Y/N shakes her head. “It takes a while until they open up again.” Disappointed, Bucky looks down and leans his head against her shoulder. The rest of the morning Bucky is playing alone in the playroom. Y/N tries three times to get Steve out from under the bed, but he refuses each time, not really saying a word and instead cries again. Eventually he comes out as his stomach grumbles. The whole time at lunch he doesn’t talk either and eats even less than he does on good days. Half of his two breads remain on his plate as Y/N takes his hand and gets him back into the kids’ room. “Stevie come here. I want you to slip this on.” She pulls out a package of pull up diapers from a drawer. Steve backs down a bit and shakes his head violently. “No! I don’t want them!”
“Come on, sweetie. Just for your nap. I don’t want you to get the bed wet again. You don’t need them when we get Cloudy back. I promise.”
“No!” Steve runs behind his bed and crouches down as Y/N stands up from her own crouching position. “Steve, please.”
“NO!” Suddenly a pillow flies in her direction. Y/N manages to dug away and watches as it collides with a lamp on the drawer and knocks it to the ground. It brakes loudly and shard’s spread all over the floor. “Steven Grant Rogers! Stop right now!”
“NO!” A second pillow flies to her, landing right at her feet. “You will come here and put this on! I am getting really angry now.” She puts her hands on her hips angrily. Bucky steps into the door frame and looks as Steve throws himself on the ground. “Noo!” He screams and new tears fill his eyes as he cries again. This time it sounds desperate, sad and a bit angry. Y/N closes her eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath to prevent herself from shouting at the boy. It wouldn’t be fair. She knows he’s only doing it because of a bad night and missing his friend. “Mommy? Can I have one?” She opens her eyes and looks at Bucky. The boy comes over to her. “Bucky, stop. It’s full of shards here. You’re only wearing socks.” Bucky stops, looks at the ground and runs out only to return with a dustpan and a hand brush from the kitchen. He passes it to Y/N and watches her as she cleans up the mess in a quickly. “Can I?”
“Why do you want pull ups?” Steve’s crying gets a bit louder again as she says it. “Please?” Bucky stretches out his hand, so Y/N sighs. “Fine.” She takes one out of her package and passes it to Bucky. The brunette slips out of his pants and boxers and pulls on the diaper. He eyes himself for a second before he nods. Silently he tiptoes over to Steve. Y/N watches her boy curiously. Bucky crouches down next to Steve and reaches out. Carefully he touches his shoulder but Steve throws his hands around frantically and screams. Y/N makes a step to them to help Bucky just as Bucky grabs both of Steve’s hands. She stops and looks further. The smaller boy tries to kick but fails to hit Bucky. He quickly manages to turn Steve on his back, which by his weight isn’t a challenge at all, not even for Bucky, and sits on his tights. “Look, Stevie. I have one too.” First Steve doesn’t look but tries to get free, but as Bucky says it once again Steve looks up. He stops crying almost instantly and eyes his brother with wonder. “W-why?” The blonde sniffles and rubs his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his shirt. “Because I want to.” Bucky sits next to Steve with a proud smile. “They look cool. Look there’s a dinosaur on it.” Bucky stands up again and points on his butt. Steve looks at the dinosaur with big eyes before he smiles at Bucky. Slowly Y/N takes a second one out of the package, this one with another dinosaur on it, and crouches down beside Steve. “Do you want one, too, now?” She holds it out for him to take, the picture of the long dead animal showing. Steve eyes the pull up diaper with a look of disgust but takes it without arguing. He places it beside him and carefully pulls his shirt over his head. Then he takes off his socks and his pants. Bucky helps him to step into the pull ups and holds him upright as he nearly falls. Together they climb into Bucky’s bed. The older pushes his bear into Steve’s arms. “James wants to cuddle you.” Grateful for the toy to fill his arms, he presses it against his chest and gives his brother a big, wet looking kiss on the cheek. Bucky rubs at the spot but lies down beside Steve without saying anything. “Good, Steve.” Y/N leans down and kisses his cheek. She does the same to Bucky and thanks him. Then she grabs the fairy tale book and opens it. She starts to read ‘Snow white’ to them. As they both fell asleep, Steve nearly needed the whole story to do so, she closes the book. She watches them both, cuddled up together, before she leaves the room. FRIDAY automatically had darkened the room, and she switches on the nightlight before she silently closes the door. Back in the living room she picks up her mobile and dials Tony’s number. It rings a few times and Y/N almost hangs up as a tired voice answers. “Yeah?”
“Sorry Tony. I need a favor.”
* * *
Y/N walks up and down in the kitchen. Now and then she sips on her tea. It’s almost time for Steve and Bucky to wake up, so she gets nervous. Finally, there’s a knock on the door. She sprints to it, almost missing the counter she places her mug on and just yet manages to place it properly before it clatters to the ground. At the door, she rips it open. “Did you get it?”
“Hello to you, too.” Tony smirks at her and she rolls her eyes. “Hello. Did you get it?” Tony sighs and shakes his head. “Yes, I did. They even washed it. The girl I talked to told me, after she was finished gaping and fangirling at me, that she found it yesterday and thought it looked sad so all alone and dirty. So, she took it home and cleaned it up for the kid to pick up today.”
“Thank you. I owe you one.” Y/N smiles at the man and takes the, now, white and dirt-free sheep from his hands. “You can thank me next time if you let get me the thing the time, I propose it to you.” He yawns and doesn’t bother to hide it behind his hand. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go back to bed now. Pepper’s coming home tonight and I want to pick her up.”
“Sure. Thank you again, Tony. Greetings to Pepper.” The man nods, already on his way down the floor. Y/N looks after him before closing the door. She looks at the stuffed animal in her hands and strokes through his woolly belly and smiles. She walks straight into the kids’ room and kneels beside Steve’s side. Carefully she nudges the sheep’s nose against Steve’s cheek. Nothing happens. She does it once more and as again nothing happens, she does it a third time and speaks in a higher voice. “Steeeeve. Wake up.” The boy stirs and turns around. A loud snore slips through his lips and Y/N smiles. On the other side of the bed Bucky opens his eyes sleepily and looks at Y/N. He sees the sheep and smiles before sluggishly slipping out of bed and walking into the bathroom. Y/N nudges Steve again, this time right onto his nose which leads to the boys’ nose to twitch and his breath to hitch. With a start he wakes up as he sneezes. Confused he looks around and is met with the sight of a fluffy face. “Bless you.” Y/N practically sees his eyes sparkle and light up as he sees his plushie. “Cloudy!” He takes it from Y/N and presses his friend to his face, giving the sheep many kisses on its face. They hear the flush and Bucky steps out of the room, back in his pants and out of the pull ups. As soon as he looks up, he has Steve already in his arms. “Bucky! Look! Cloudy is back. I don’t need James anymore.” With a big smile he passes the bear into Bucky arms and hugs his brother. Bucky just pats his head and yawns again. “Okay, Stevie. Let Bucky wake up. We can change your pull ups to pants.”
“No!” Y/N stops, and she looks confused and a bit afraid at him. She doesn’t want a repeat of earlier. “No?”
“No. I like it.” Y/N smiles but shakes her head. “We change it nevertheless, Stevie. I have a whole package you can have after that.” Steve pouts and takes Bucky’s hand. His voice is a bit smaller than before as he looks into the brunettes’ face. “Buck?”
“Hm?” Bucky looks down at him. “I’m sorry. I was mean.” He presses his face in Bucky’s chest again. Bucky looks at Y/N, as if to ask what to do, but Y/N shrugs and sits down on Steve’s bed. Bucky decides to go with patting Steve’s head. “It’s okay.”
The rest of the day Steve clings to Bucky. He won’t leave his side for more than a few minutes. They walk to the common room, to Sam’s place and to Natasha. Each time Steve holds onto his sheep and onto Bucky’s hand. He apologizes to Bucky at least five more times until the older gets so annoyed by it, that he tells Steve that he gets mad if he says the word ‘sorry’ once more today. As Y/N finishes dinner and places everything on the table, she walks to get her boys. “Look, he fits Stevie.”
“But James…” Steve’s voice is a little sad. Curious Y/N opens the door. Both boys sit on the ground of the play room. They stare at a brown block house, made of wooden blocks. Bucky eyes it for a second before he takes some Lego stones and quickly builds a red house, placing it right beside the brown one. Steve pushes the bear into it and claps his hands together while he laughs, before throwing himself at Bucky. “What are you doing?” Y/N walks into the room and sits down beside her boys. Bucky sits up carefully. “Cloudy and James have their own homes to sleep in now.” He points at the two houses. “Cloudy doesn’t get scared anymore.” Steve takes out his sheep of the brown house and shows it to Y/N. She pats the sheep’s head and smiles. “That’s good. Do they want to join us? Dinner is ready.”
“Yep.” Bucky stands up, takes his bear and runs out of the room. “Wash your hands!” Y/N shouts after him. Then she looks at Steve as she stands up. She takes his hand, leans down and kisses his cheek. “Come on, big boy. Let’s look if your brother does what I told him.” Steve smiles at her and presses his sheep to his chest as he excitedly tells her what Cloudy had experienced in the night, he wasn’t home.