Denial
A Month after the snap
A Month After Harley finds Out
Denial
Miles didn’t like donning Peter’s suit.
It just felt… wrong. It was Peter’s suit. And one of the original ones as well! It felt like he was disgracing Peter.
After all, Miles might have been Spider-Man but he wasn’t Spider-Man. He had the powers. He was getting the training. He had been making a name for himself as the newest web slinger, but he wasn’t yet a Spider-Man.
Well he was a Spider-Man he just wasn’t The Spider-Man.
He wasn’t The Spider-Man in his own eyes.
Peter had once told him, that the only way to really be a hero is to realize you could be a hero. That you could save someone. That you could be Spider-Man.
Miles wasn’t really sure he could.
At least, he wasn’t sure he could be as good a Spider-Man as Peter.
He wasn’t sure he could be Peter.
Cause that's what he felt like the world was asking of him. To don Peter’s mask, to be Peter Parker. To be the guy who has helped him grow and know what he has to do. To know how to save everyone.
Spoiler alert, Miles didn’t know how to save anyone.
After all, he couldn’t have saved his family let alone people who were in panic about everything thats has happened. And the more he tried to help them, the more he realized he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t save everyone. But he needed to. He needed to be Spider-Man. He needed to be a hero. He needed to save people.
He slipped into the Stark Tower common room through the window, like he had seen Peter do before. He rested on the huanches of his feet as he took in the scene below him. He understood why Peter liked to rest on the ceiling more than he did the ground.
He still didn’t feel like a hero. Or at least not a hero like peter. He slumped against the roof.
The door opened, and Miles startled, turning around to face a wide eyed Harley.
"Peter?"
It was a soft whisper, but Miles felt like it was piercing the entire world with the volume of it. He turned to Harley, his breath catching as he took in how tired and broken Harley Keener looked. Harley Keener, who Miles had never seen cry, who Miles had never seen look anything other then how he wanted people to see him. Harley, the guy who always had extra food in the fridge incase he swung by. Harley, the guy who volunteered to help him when he didn't know what to do. Harley, who gave him advice on how to talk to people. Harley, who loved his art more than anyone else but his uncle Aaron.
Harley, who was now standing on the floor, looking up at him, his entire body shaking so hard, Miles wouldn't have needed perfect vision to see it. Harley, who's wide eyes were tearing up, his hand covering his mouth in utter shock.
Harley who looked broken.
“Oh my god,” Harley’s voice was still just a whisper, “Peter- Is- is that you.”
Miles dropped to the ground shaking his head, “Oh god! Harley I’m so sorry- you weren’t supposed to see the suit and-”
“You’re,” Harley swallowed, the tears in his eyes about to break over, “You’re not Peter, are you?”
“No,” Miles stuttered, ripping the mask off his head feeling like he was just about to rip Harley’s heart out with the motion, “Harley, no, I’m-”
“Miles,” His eyes studying his features, lingering on the mask in his hands, “Fuck, it's just you…”
Miles pretended those words didn’t sting, “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s,” He swallowed, looking away from the Spider-Man in front of him, “It's not your fault.”
“Still.”
They stood there in a tense and awkward silence, Harley still shaking and Miles fidgeting with his hands. Everything was off. Miles wanted to flee, wanted to leave, just to make sure that Harley- Harley that seemed so so so destroyed and depressed- didn’t have to see him in the suit.
Harley looked back at him, his eyes focusing on his face, obviously trying hard not to look anywhere at Peter’s old costume, “Miles…”
“I’m sorry,” Miles told him, shaking his head, gripping the blue and red mask in his hand even tighter, “You- I didn’t mean to show up in the suit.”
“Kid,” Harley shook his head, looking away again, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It just… startled me.”
“Oh.”
Harley was clearly blinking away tears, “You remind me of him, so much.”
“I’m sorry…”
“That's not a bad thing, Miles,” his voice cracked, and his hand came to smooth at his shirt collar. Miles blinked, remembering the action being something that Harley used to do for Peter whenever Harley or anyone else grabbed him by the collar. Harley’s hands were shaking, “You’re a hero. You’re a Spider-Man.”
“Yeah,” Miles breathed out, feeling like shit.
What kind of Spider-Man couldn’t help his friend?
Probably the same kind of Spider-Man that put on his dead meantors suit just to provide the public with a focal point. Probably the same kind of Spider-Man that couldn’t save anyone in the end. Probably the same Spider-Man who had stayed home instead of fighting the final battle.
And yet here Harley was telling him he was a hero. A Spider-Man.
Miles kind of wanted to cry.
Harley seemingly didn't notice, his focus far far away, his voice portraying more heartbreak than Miles had ever known anyone to be able to feel, “You’re just like him when he first became Spider-Man you know? Trying your best and, and um, just doing your best to help people. That's what he did, you know? He helped people- and um, he’d, he’d be so proud of you-”
Harley cut himself off with a small stifled sob, his eyes catching on the mask that Miles was still clutching in his hand. Miles looked down at the mask and clutched it harder, holding onto it for dear life, “I’m, I’m so sorry for your loss, Harley.”
“Don’t be. He’s not dead yet.”
Miles’s head snapped back to the living part of his mentor duo, eyes wide, “What do you mean?”
“He’s not,” He swallowed, blinking hard, trying to figure out his words, “He- Everyone who disappeared- Matter can’t be created or destroyed. Even with ‘magic’ stones, you can’t ignore the basic principles of the universe right?”
“Right,” Miles said slowly, nodding.
“So, they can’t have all just… disappeared like that. They had to have gone somewhere.”
“Harley,” Miles said slowly again, “They did go somewhere. They turned to ash.”
Harley just blinked, “They have to be somewhere.”
“Okay,” Miles told him, not knowing what to do with Harley’s clear and obvious dismissal of what was happening around them.
“I’m going to save him.”
Miles wasn’t sure that was possible.
A Month after the snap
A Month and A Week After Harley finds Out
Denial
Miles worried about New York.
He worried about Queens.
He worried about Staten Island.
He worried about the Bronx.
He worried about Brooklyn.
Everything about New York worried him. The half empty streets. The dead atmosphere of the city. Nothing was how it was supposed to be, and it hurt Miles to see it like this. This entire event hurt Miles.
His mom was gone. So was his uncle Aaron. And his dad.
They were all gone.
Like the citizens of New York City, he had no one.
He however, was lucky. He at least had Abbie, his best friend, and Tony, a mentor of sorts, and a roof over his head. Sure, Stark Tower wasn’t home, but it was better than his empty apartment.
The one thing bad about Stark Tower was that you could see every part of New York from it. You could see the emptiness that haunted the city completely. It bothered him.
What bothered him more was inside the tower itself though.
The tomb of memory and denial that Harley Keener was living in.
He pressed his face against the glass of the door into Harley’s lab. Harley was sitting at Peter’s desk, staring at it, transfixed on the ring that he wasn’t supposed to know about. The ring that he had never gotten to wear.
Something long forgotten surfaced to the front of his mind. To be honest, the memory hit him like a tidal wave.
“Hey, If you don’t mind telling me, what do you like about this Harley guy, anyway?”
They were sitting on top of the Empire state building, observing New York City at night, on the watch for some sort of crime. Really, they both were just trying to enjoy the still warm nights of summer fading into fall. Masks up and an order of Mickey D’s in between them
Peter raised an eyebrow at him, swallowing a fry, “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Miles shrugged his shoulders sheepishly, “From what I’ve heard in training, he’s kinda energy personified. And Spider Senses… are kind of overwhelming? Like I can’t really spend large amounts of time around people without getting exhausted. So how do you date someone who’s energy personified?”
“Miles,” Peter laughed, his head throwing back, “You heard all of that from people who don’t really know Harley- because you haven’t heard any of that from Tony right?”
“I haven’t really talked to Tony a lot,” He admitted.
“Well, that explains it,” Peter smiled at him, “You’re right about the sensory thing. Spider-Senses put everything on overdrive. But Harley doesn’t affect Spider-Senses.”
Miles blinked, confused at what Peter was saying, “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Peter’s eyes scanned the area, focusing on Stark Tower in the distance, a soft and found smile on his face, “That Harley has always been apart of me. He’s just always there. And I love him for it. He’s incredibly caring, and always searches for ways to help. He’s the one that figured out that Spidey-Senses heightened all the senses and makes the norepinephrine in our brains to go into overdrive, and that we get overwhelmed by sensory, you know? He’s pretty perfect like that.”
“If he’s so perfect why does everyone at the compound talk about him like he might be a threat or something?”
“Harley is,” Peter paused, looking for words, “Harley is very much a protector. The other avengers hurt people he cared about, so when he got his chance, he made sure that they could never hurt them again. And he told them that. He made sure they knew he was gonna come for them if they hurt someone he cares about again.”
“What do you mean?” Miles raised a brow, “Isn’t he just a normal guy?”
Peter laughed, clearly amused, “Yeah, he’s pretty normal- except for you know, the genius intellect, and the costume made armor, and the ability to hack into every network on the face of this earth.”
“So he’s a super genius?”
“Nah,” Peter smiled off into the distance once again, “Just a regular genius.”
“He sounds nicer when you talk about him,” Miles admitted, looking at his mentor with sheepish eyes.
“He is nicer,” Peter sighed, every inch of him screaming in love, “He’s one of the nicest people I know. You just have to know him more than he lets you know him.”
“Would he be nice to me?”
“He’d love you,” Peter grinned at him, attention back on the world around him, “He loves anyone with a sense of humor and a good head on their shoulders.”
“Really?”
Peter huffed out a laugh, the fact that Miles was so clearly just a kid that wanted to impress the adults coming out so clearly in this conversation, “Yeah. Unless your mean to his sister.”
“Abbie?” He raised his brow again, “Isn’t she the one that I met for a brief second when I was meeting with the rest of Avengers? The one who pointed at me?”
“Yeah,” Peter laughed, “She’s a little bit excited to have someone she can pester that's not Lila.”
“Lila is Sparrow, right?” Miles asked, taking a sip from his drink, “I’m still trying to learn everyone’s names.”
“Yeah, Lila is Sparrow,” Peter nodded again, “Abbie is her ‘girl in the chair’ so to speak. She’s very determined to be in the super hero business.”
“I can tell,” Miles grinned at the memory of the girl bounding up to him, pointing directly at him and declaring they would be friends, before bounding after Lila, “So does Harley want to get into the superhero game?”
Peter frowned at the skyline, “He doesn’t.”
“Is that,” Miles felt awkward asking it, but his curiosity won out, “Is that a bad thing?”
“No,” Peter sighed, “It was just hard for him to come to terms with for a long time. The armor that he made for himself is called Redemption Armor Mach Ten, and it’s only seen the light of day five or six times. He recently- like as of may of this year- decided that he’s only gonna use it if Tony dies or it’s a last case scenario.”
“Why?”
“He’s been through some stuff,” Peter looked conflicted, “Maybe he’ll tell you about it one day. But something bad happened and it made him reevaluate if he really wanted the armor.”
“Oh,” Miles nodded, unsatisfied with the answer but understood that what ever had happened was a sensitive topic, “He sounds better when you talk about him- er- Versus what others have told me.” ”
“Yeah,” Peter smiled again, “I really missed him this summer.”
“Hey, at least we got back to civilization,” He joked, “That training was rough!”
“The entire summer at the avengers compound was no joke!”
“I’m still sore!”
“But hey,” Peter snorted, “We’re ‘one step closer to becoming avengers!’ Or something.”
Miles laughed at the bad Captain Marvel impression, “Yeah, yeah, then you can go on and be an actual superhero and I an take over the friendly neighborhood spider-man gig.”
“Mhmm,” Peter hummed, taking another bite of his food, “Then I’ll be an actual superhero. Or something.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Peter looking off in the distance at Stark Tower. He looked discontent, completely different than how light hearted he had been merely a few seconds ago.
“Miles?”
“Yeah?”
“If something ever happens to me,” Peter paused on his words, seemingly thinking of what to say, “If something bad ever happens to me while I’m on duty- or off- I need you to do something for me.”
“What?”
“I need you to make sure Harley is going to be okay,” Peter continued, his voice going small, “He means the entire world to me, and even when I’m dead and gone, I need him to be okay.”
“Yeah,” Miles felt out of place, with all of the emotions Peter’s voice was conveying, “Of course. I promise.”
Miles blinked hard.
He had forgotten about that.
Forgotten about making that promise to Peter. The promise to make sure Harley was going to be okay.
Looking out over his friend and mentor’s boyfriend, Miles felt like he had failed him. Had failed Peter in every way possible.
Because he wasn’t helping Harley. He didn’t know how to help Harley, not in any useful capacity. He couldn’t get Harley to eat, couldn’t get Harley to sleep. From where Miles was standing, it was like Harley was withering away completely.
And that kind of broke Miles.
He was supposed to look out for Harley, and yet here he was unable to get him to focus on anything but his insane theory of a parallel universe created by the reality stone. He couldn’t get Harley to do anything but sit in his lab and brainstorm things.
He couldn’t get Harley to get his head above the waters of grief.
And he felt like a failure.
To Harley.
To Peter.
A Month after the snap
A Month and Two Weeks After Harley finds Out
Denial
“Good god, Peter,” Harley was muttering to himself inside the lab, “I don’t know how to fix this.”
Miles pressed himself against the door of Harley’s lab.
He really didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Harley’s ramblings, but that’s what ended up happening. He was listening to a broken Harley Keener talk to himself in the middle of the lab.
Harley continued on, oblivious to the boy at the door, “I don’t know how to fix this, but I have to. And there’s probably a way to. You’re not really gone, because you’re never really gone. You’re out there. Somewhere. You just have to be. You’re probably in a parallel universe that reminds you of a fever dream.”
“Fever dreams,” Harley chuckled to himself, and Miles felt himself inhale, “That’s what I’ve been having lately, I think. Fever dreams. About the world around me.”
“You know, sometimes I look up and I see you, but it’s not you. It's too picturesque to be you,” Harley looked up at the ceiling, and Miles finally realized what he was playing with. The ring. He was playing with the ring and talking to Peter. Wherever Peter was.
Miles felt himself growing more and more concerned, as Harley glanced back down at the ring, “Hey… Pete.. do you remember our first real fight?”
There was no answer of course, but Miles felt himself filling in the blank in his mind anyway. Peter would have made some sort of joke by now. But Peter wasn’t here. This was just a broken boy, rambling more to himself than to others.
“It was raining,” Harley continued, a small smile on his face and sadness in his eyes, “It was raining and you had just gotten discharged from the hospital. Cause of Doc Ock, remember? You threw me out of the way, and had gotten hurt pretty badly. We had thought you weren’t going to pull through. Me and May spent the entire night pacing up and down the halls of the hospital wing.”
Miles hadn’t ever heard of this. As far as he knew, almost every fight Peter had been in had ended with minor injuries, never something Major. He once again felt like he was intruding. Harley just continued on.
“We were so worried,” His voice broke, but he carried on like he didn’t notice the sadness in his own voice, “We were so so worried. And you came out of there just fine. But I wasn’t fine. I wasn’t fine at all. Aunt May had gone to bed, and I had left your apartment for the roof of the Tower. Nothing to protect me from the rain. And then you swung to it, in your civvies. No matter how many times we told you not too, you always came around without the Spider-Man suit.”
Harley’s laugh was soft and mournful, “Normally I would just find it charming, but I had been so upset. You offered me your jacket and I refused it. I think that's when you realized something was wrong- because I never refuse your jackets. I love wearing them, because they’re just like you. Warm. Dependable. Good. Coffee and Vanilla.”
“And we started to argue,” Harley looked up again, the movement startling Miles a little bit. Something about listening to Harley talk was entrancing. Sad and so reminiscent of everything Peter had been, “Because I thought it was stupid that you pushed me out of the way. I had armor on, and you still pushed me out of the way. I felt like everything was slipping out of my hands, watching you get hurt like that. And we just stood there at two thirty in the morning yelling our heads off, because you were always the hero. Because you wouldn’t let me get hurt even though me getting hurt would stop you for getting hurt.”
Harley laughed again, sniffling at the memory, “It was so stupid in retrospect. Because I would have done the same damn thing. But I was so angry and scared that I stood up, and I started to walk away, screaming that I couldn't do this- I told you to leave me the fuck alone.”
“And you,” Miles felt himself inhale sharply. He was definitely listening to something that meant a lot to Harley, definitely intruding on his moment, “And you just grabbed my hand and told me that you would never leave me alone. You asked me if I remembered that night with the fireworks- the one where we had been dancing on the roof when we should have been indoors. The first time we said I love you properly, without either of us being hurt.”
“I still remember what you said,” Harley smiled at the ring, “You said, ‘Every time I look at you, it's like the first time. God, love, you are the best thing that's ever been mine.’ And I just realized how much I truly needed you. Because you were the best thing that had ever been mine, and I was the best thing that had ever been yours.”
Harley laughed once more, watery smile widening, “We were each others and that was enough. It was always enough for us. No matter what we went through after that, as long as we had each other we were good enough. No matter if I flirted with other boys to get your attention, or if you forgot date night for the sake of science, it didn’t matter. Because at the end of the day, you were mine, and I was yours.”
Harley’s smile was soft and sad, and more than a little sweet. Miles once again got the overwhelming feeling to leave, when Harley whispered out, “I’m going to say yes. When you come back, I’m going to say yes. And we’re not going to wait till after college. I’m tired of playing the waiting game. Because you’re the best thing that's ever been mine, Peter. And I love you, so so much.”
“I’ll get you back,” Harley looked up again, “I’ll fix this.”
Miles slipped away from the door, feeling like a horrible person for listening to all of that. For listening to all of Harley’s love and admiration for Peter Parker to spill out. He sighed at the end of the hallway.
He really hoped Harley could fix this, because if he couldn’t… Miles was sure it would break him.
Two Months after the snap
A Month and Three Weeks After Harley finds Out
Denial
“Miles?”
Miles looked up from his sketchbook, glancing at Abbie’s petite form in the doorway. He sat up straighter at the look on her face, “Yeah?”
“I’m worried,” She stepped into the room, plopping herself on the bed with a furrowed brow and pursed lips, “I’m worried about my brother.”
“I am too,” Miles admitted, “He’s been…”
“In a bad place?”
“In a place worse than bad.”
Abbie ran a hand over her face, pushing her glasses onto the bed next to her, “I don’t know how to help him.”
“I don’t think we can help him,” He said carefully, turning to her, “I mean, we can try but, let's be honest here, Abbie. He doesn’t exactly want our help.”
“Right,” Abbie nodded, before realizing what she had just agreed with and shook her head, “No, not right. It doesn’t matter if he wants our help or not we should help him.”
Miles stood, moving to sit next to her on the bed, “As much as I agree… I think we need to be careful about this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Miles thought back to the ramble he had walked in on a week ago, “That Harley is trying his best to fix this and everything he can. Maybe its just his way of coping.”
Abbie blinked at him, “Right, but coping shouldn’t mean that you are avoiding taking care of yourself.”
“Yeah, thats a big issue,” Miles amended, before sighing again, “I just don’t know how we can help.”
“By being there I guess.”
“But how do we do that without pushing him further away is the real question.”
“I mean,” Abbie raised a brow, “I don’t think that’s a big issue.”
Miles shook his head, not looking her in the eyes, “Abbie, let's be honest here. Neither of us know how to deal with grief. We’re just kids and everything I’ve read has said that you can push someone more into grief if you aren’t helping them in the correct way.”
“That won’t be an issue though.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“No, but Harley’s my brother. I think I would know how to help him.”
“Oh come on,” Miles snorted, shooting her a dry look, “Half the time Peter, his literal soulmate, didn’t know how to help him when he got in this mindset.”
“Peter may be his soulmate,” Abbie grinned at him, “But I’m his little sister.”
“So?”
“Ah yes, you’re an only child,” Abbie sat up, “Basically, me and Harley are the ideal set of kids. Because our mom was busy trying to make sure we could eat when I was younger, Harley really had to step up when our dad left and because of that we got really close. We still fight and bicker and shit, but at the end of the day we’ve always been close. So if anyone can convince him to take care of himself, it's me.”
“I am taking care of myself,” The door opened to reveal Harley, looking tired and sickly, “I’m doing much better than you guys think I am. I’ve almost cracked the truth.”
Abbie stood, her face a mix of confusion and worry, “Oh really now?”
“Yeah,” Harley nodded, looking faint, like he could collapse in any moment, “If I could just get everything in place, then I could fix this.”
Miles and Abbie shared a look. Miles spoke up, “Um, Harley. Are you sure that you’re okay?”
“Of course.”
“Are you just saying that,” Abbie seemed to think on her words, “Are you just saying that so you can go back to not taking care of yourself at all and breaking down at random moments?”
“I’m not just saying that,” Harley ran a hand through his messy hair, and it was only then Miles noticed the ring on his finger. He must have taken to wearing it, maybe to try to feel closer to Peter. Harley continued, “I’m being honest.”
“You look like you’re going to pass out,” Miles stood, stepping towards him, “You should sit down.”
“I’m fine.”
“No you’re not,” Abbie told him, “You’re really not.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re lying.”
Miles watched the back in forth between the siblings. Harley blinked back, “Abbie, I promise I’m fine.”
“Are you sure you’re not lying to me?”
“No, I’m not,” Harley turned back to the door, leaning against the frame for a second, “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
With that Harley walked away. Abbie shot Miles a concerned look, “I think I’m going after him.”
“Yeah,” Miles nodded at her, “That may be a good idea.”
And with that, Miles was left alone with his concern and his thoughts.
Two Months after the snap
Two Months After Harley finds Out
Denial
“...We need to do something,” Tony was talking softly with Abbie when Miles walked in the room.
“About what?” He stationed himself in the chair next to abbie’s, “Anything new?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Abbie shot a glare at her dad, “No, nothings new.”
“Yes, something is new,” Tony responded with a look of his own, “We’re talking about Harley.”
“Oh.”
“Exactly,” Abbie muttered, crossing her arms, “Nothing new.”
“Nothing new except the fact he’s not eating.”
“He’s not eating?” Miles leaned forward, his brow furrowing, “How long has that been going on?”
“I’m not sure,” Tony admitted, shooting a look at Abbie who seemed more annoyed than anything.
Abbie huffed, “He just started not eating. It's really not a new thing he skips meals all the time.”
“Right,” Miles said slowly, raising a brow at his friend, “But is this really what he should be doing when he’s in this state?”
“No,” Abbie deflated, muttering, “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Getting him to take care of himself,” Tony told the two of them, “Should be our priority number one.”
“No,” Harley’s voice echoed around the room, bitterness laced into the words, “You should be focusing on how to get everybody back. That should be your priority number one.”
Tony blinked at his son, standing up as Harley walked in the room, “Kid-”
“All of are effort should be going to finding a way to get them back,” Harley kept talking, acting like he hadn’t heard Tony, “We should be focusing on finding Thanos and taking back the reality stone.”
‘We don’t know if that will work,” Tony told him, coming to stand near Harley, “And we need to talk.”
“About?”
“How you’re not eating,” Abbies voice was louder than she probably intended, “Or sleeping. Or doing anything but meticulously planning about something we don’t know about.”
Harley look at his sister, “Abigail, don’t start.”
“Why not?” Miles flinched at the sharpness in Abbie’s voice. Whatever weird thing was going on between the siblings, Miles was not enjoying the snappiness between them, “Why not expose the fact that you’re slowly killing yourself?”
“I am not-”
“You’re literally wasting away!”
“I don’t care,” Harley was shaking, his entire body rattling, like the breath in his lungs, “I don’t care. I just want to fix this.”
“Harley-”
“Tony,” Harley’s voice was a warning bell, “I don’t care.”
Abbie stepped towards her brother, “But you need to take care of yourself!”
“I don’t care!” Harley was shaking his head, “You guys don’t get it! He can’t be gone! They can’t be gone! None of them! And if I could just figure out where they are then we could figure out a way to bring them back! If we could just-”
“Harley,” Tony’s voice was soft and his brow furrowed, “We don’t know if there’s a way to bring them back.”
“There has to be one!”
Tony shook his head again, “There might be one. But you can’t waste away trying to find it.”
“But I need to find it,” Harley’s voice was shaking, “I need to find it. I need to find a way to bring them back- to bring him back!”
Miles suddenly understood.
He understood Harley Keener. He understood what Harley Keener needed.
He stepped forward, taking Harleys hand in one smooth moment, “But what happens if when he gets back he sees you like this?”
The room went silent, Harley’s wide eyes searching for what Miles ment. Miles took a breath, “Do you think, that if Peter gets back, he’s going to be happy seeing you like this? Seeing you so broken down and destroyed?”
“Miles-”
Abbie held her hand up, to stop Tony from talking to him. Miles shot her a grateful look, before turning his attention back to the shaking Harley.
“He would be so upset to see you like this,” Miles told him, “To see you not sleeping. To see you not eating. To see you hurting. It would kill him, and you know that. He loved you, so so much, Harley. He loved you more than words can describe, and you know that. You know he loved you. So please, you have to take care of yourself.”
“I need to-” Harley was choking on his own words, “I need to get him back.”
Miles shook his head, “But we don’t know if you can get him back. If any of us will get our loved ones back. But I know one thing. I know that if my dad was looking down at me from heaven, he wouldn’t want me to waste away. He would want me to keep eating, and to keep sleeping, and do things to take care of myself. And Peter would want you to take care of yourself too, Harley.”
“Peter once asked me,” Miles swallowed, his eyes stinging, “He once asked me to look after you if he ever died. If something every happened to him. And I’m so sorry, that I haven’t been able to help you, to keep my word to him. But Harley, you need to take care of yourself. You can’t throw yourself into this idea of another world where Peter is alive. You need to focus on the here and now. You once told me we don’t have time to think about the what if’s. We don’t have time to think about what if Peter was alive, because we need to be thinking about how to keep the world we’re living in alive.”
“I need him back,” Harley’s voice was a whisper, and he allowed Miles to pull him into a hug, “I need him back.”
“I know you do,” Miles assured the only other mentor figure he had ever known, “But killing yourself with what if’s won't bring him back.”
“I need him back,” Harley was crying, Miles realized, “I need him back. I just want him back.”
“I know.”
Miles understood.
He understood how deeply Harley and Peter truly felt for each other. How good they were for each other. He understood why Peter had asked him to look after Harley. Peter had known this would happen. Had known that if he died, Harley would go through so much trying to bring him back even if he couldn’t be brought back.
It broke Miles’ heart.
Not as much though, when Harley heaved a sob and choked out, “I just want my Peter back.”