Clint Thinks Looking Inside of His Boyfriend's Body is Gross and Steve Goes to Pride
IV.
Clint swung his legs back and forth. Bucky had asked him to come down to Tony’s lab, and Clint was an amazing boyfriend so he went to the lab. Bucky was decidedly not an Amazing Boyfriend, and left out the fact that they were going to the lab so Tony could mess with his arm. Which was gross. When the shoulder panels were open Clint was positive he could see Bucky’s bone.
Gross.
(Clint wanted it on the record, however, that he fucking loved Bucky. The arm was part of Bucky and so he even loved the stupid Russian star on the shoulder that had branded Bucky as property. It was fucking normal, though, to not want to look inside the Star Light of Your Life™’s body. Nazi rogue science division war crime technology or not.
It wasn’t like Bucky had been thrilled when he’d had to stick his finger in Clint’s chest when he’d been shot.)
Fortunately for Clint, though, the shoulder had remained closed this time. They were working with the fingers. Which made sense, Clint had overheard him telling Steve that one of his fingers was moving of its own accord. Not a great thing for a sniper.
He did look amazing in that black tank top. Big fan.
“He’s just so self-righteous.” He heard Tony tell Bucky and knew who he was talking about even without other context clues. They were in for another round of Tony and Steve being too dim to know they were in love. Awesome. “How do you even put up with that?”
Bucky shrugged and glanced over to Clint. He was thinking the same thing. “He has to make up for me.”
“It’s disgusting, that’s what it is.” Tony shot back, likely not having even heard Bucky’s response – which had been objectively hilarious, Clint thought. “Thinks he’s better than everyone else because Howard slapped an American flag on his chest.”
It wasn’t worth it to correct Tony when he was revising history. At least when Howard was involved. Howard had been a touchy subject anyway since Steve had ratted Bucky out about sleeping with Howard anyway. Which had been wholly unnecessary and was just another symptom of Steve being stupid in love, Clint thought.
“It is really irritating how he won’t let me kill people.” Bucky agreed, shrugging his flesh shoulder.
“I know, right!” Clint interjected and was ignored.
Teams of superpowered people – and Clint – weren’t traditionally sent in to keep everyone alive. Killing people made the jobs they were sent on so much easier. There were only so many non-lethal arrows he could come up with, and Bucky’s body was generally just lethal. Steve was crippling the team by telling them to keep the goons alive. They had made their bed by becoming goons.
“So, I shot a couple of nameless Hydra idiots,” Tony waved the tool in his hand around and rolled his eyes, “they’re Nazis. The world is better off with them dead.”
Bucky nodded. Bucky was always down for killing Hydra.
The tool went back into Bucky’s palm (gross) but Tony had turned around to face Clint. Seemed unsafe, but Clint wasn’t the scientist. “He came down here to tell me basically everything I’ve ever done wrong because I shot to kill.”
“Nazis.” Clint agreed. “He never gives anyone else shit for killing Nazis.” He added, knowing Tony didn’t have the emotional intelligence to realize it was flirting.
“Sometimes I rag on Clint for using trick arrows instead of real ones when we fight Hydra.” Bucky jolted forward and frowned at Tony. He snatched the tool out of Tony’s hand and pulled it out of his hand. “Watch what you’re doing man. I can feel this shit.
Tony rolled his eyes and turned away from Clint. “That’s because I’ve got a metal scalpel inside your body, genius.” He pulled the tool away from Bucky’s hand, “Clint can do it next time if you want to complain about how I do it.”
Clint shook his head. He was absolutely not going to mess with Bucky’s arm. That was the stuff of his nightmares. The arm could go inside Clint, but Clint wasn’t going into the arm. He had rules.
“There’s a rage monster, three assassins, and me on the team. There’s gonna be death.” Tony brought the conversation back to Steve in a way that impressed even Clint. That meant he was really fired up. This was a chance for Clint to try and nudge the odds in his favor though, so he supported it. “I’m not putting rubber bullets in the suit.”
“Rubber bullets are shit.” Bucky frowned.
“Isn’t he kinda cute when he’s riled up though?” Clint asked, glancing over to see Tony opening the panels on Bucky’s wrist. That seemed unnecessary, but Tony had a hardon for the arm so…
“No.” Bucky frowned at the same time Tony let out an emphatic “yes.” Clint smirked, staring directly at his boyfriend.
Tony looked up at Bucky, shrugging a bit before pressing the tool into Bucky’s wrist. All of the metal fingers curled. “I got a competence kink, don’t judge me.”
Gross.
No one needed to know about Tony’s kinks.
It did make sense though.
Bucky stared at Clint, frowning slightly. He hadn’t cheated so Bucky could deal.
“Steve’s sexually attracted to competence.” Bucky offered casually, and that made sense as well. Peggy, Tony, Natasha. That weird time he had a crush on Peggy’s great-niece. Bucky had let him know that wasn’t acceptable though, so that had put an end to it.
Fortunately, Bucky had a thing for human disasters. At least he seemed to be, based on Clint’s knowledge of his dating history. Howard had been a hot mess. Natasha threw a crimp in that theory though. Bucky had been brainwashed during that though.
Natasha didn’t count, Clint decided. Bucky was sexually attracted to dumpster fires.
He needed to never meet Matt Murdock.
“Makes sense.” Tony mused, opening another panel. “I guess Wilson’s mostly capable.”
Bucky snorted. “Steve isn’t with Wilson.” Good, Clint thought. Bucky wasn’t dedicated to the bet enough to let people think Steve was sleeping with Sam.
Clint was pretty sure Steve had attempted flirting with Sam when they’d met. He’d seen videos Natasha had taken on her phone. It was embarrassing. It fit the pattern.
Tony hummed as he picked up a bigger metal tool. He stared at it, weighing it in his hand. Clint thought he looked relieved at the new information. “Maybe you should just talk with him about it?” Bucky offered, leaning back slightly. He stared down into his own wrist and sighed. “Nothing is getting solved by you two being at each other’s necks.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “Wow, can’t believe I didn’t try that.”
Bucky rolled his eyes back. Tony was being a child. “Go to couple’s counseling then. Clint and I went once.”
That wasn’t entirely accurate, Clint thought. They had been forced to go to a therapist in order to convince her their relationship wasn’t going to keep them from being effective at saving the world. They hadn’t had to attend more than one session because they’d been assembled, and Clint had made the responsible decision to save a child instead of Bucky after Bucky’d taken a knife to the neck.
He could do his futzing job. Boyfriend or no.
“Tony Stark doesn’t do counseling.”
“Tony Stark apparently needs it if he talks about himself in the third person…” Clint mumbled, but knew he needed to let it drop. So he did.
He and Bucky had things to do once the arm was fixed up.
V.
Bucky slid his hand into Clint’s back pocket, smiling softly over at him. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Steve checking over his shoulder, and sighed. “This is Pride, Buddy.” He turned back to Steve, pulling Clint up against his side. “It’s going to be fine, I promise.”
Clint nodded, his eyes locked on Tony and Wanda throwing rainbow confetti at passersby. It was her first Pride as well, but she was handling it far better than Steve. And she was from a socialist disaster of a country.
Steve had spent years lying for Bucky so he could get off with strange men in alleys. He should have been used to it Bucky thought.
“It’s just a bad habit, Buck.” Steve gave a wry smile. “You made me look out for fifteen years. It was my job to keep an eye out for cops, so you didn’t get carted off.”
Bucky supposed that made sense. Bucky had never cared about the police, but Steve had been forced to pick up the slack on that one. At least in regards to Bucky’s safety.
“Remember that time you got cracked over the head with a billy club?”
Bucky shook his head. He did not, in fact, remember that ever happening. He did remember the police having wooden clubs they used to terrorize people, but that was it. “Try to enjoy yourself. Tony said it’s the biggest party of the year.
Steve shrugged his shoulders, watching Tony and Wanda. His shoulders drooped as Wanda was pulled into a twirl with a passing woman decked in rainbows. She let out a bright laugh and Tony tossed more confetti on her. “You know it’s not that I’ve got a problem with this, or anything…” He muttered, and Bucky nodded.
“I got it, man.”
Clint glanced over and smiled at Steve, “go play with Tony. He’ll show you how to have a good time.” At the very least, Bucky thought, Tony’s antics would distract Steve from the discomfort. The last thing they needed was someone posting an article about Steve being uncomfortable around gays. The United States government has wiped out any record of the week Steve had spent in jail for attacking a man with a crowbar after seeing him punch a man coming out of a gay bar.
Even angry little Stevie Rogers had possessed the clarity of mind to lean into the club and announce the pending arrival of the police.
Tactical genius, indeed.
“What are you two going to do if I do that?”
Clint grinned brightly. “We’re gonna recreate the bad old days. Public indecency laws are lax during Pride. Buck’s gonna go down on me in that alley over there.” He cocked his thumb towards the nearest alleyway.
Bucky grinned and nodded his head. Exhibitionism made Clint happy, and making Clint happy made Bucky happy. Besides, it was somewhat thrilling knowing they could get caught. Especially if they weren’t going to go to jail in the end. “Clint’s into doing shit in public. He’s a performer at his core.”
Steve frowned. “That’s illegal Buck.”
“So was shooting the 35th president in the head, but I already did that shit so…” He shrugged and Clint had to stifle a laugh at the eyebrows of disappointment. Steve always got his panties in a knot when it came to the Winter Soldier.
Clint said it was better that way, otherwise Steve’s competence kink would have gotten a hardon just thinking about Bucky’s mad skills. Whatever that meant.
“That’s probably way more illegal.” Clint agreed, leaning in to press a kiss against Bucky’s cheek. “I think Tony would really like your company. Here at Pride. You two could have a dance. It wouldn’t even be a big deal. It’s Pride.”
They all glanced over to see Tony taking photographs with scantily clad men, a huge smile on his face. It had taken all of Pepper’s skill to keep Tony from using the Iron Man suit to launch confetti over the crowd. Bucky’d really wanted to see that though.
Steve sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly. He had never actively attempted to keep Bucky from getting laid as far as Bucky remembered. It didn’t seem he was going to start either. With a small smile he grabbed the replica shield Tony had made him (adamantium was so cool, Bucky thought) and reached behind him to attach it to the magnetized bracers.
“Rainbow shield, so cool.” Clint grinned
Bucky leaned against the wall, pulling Clint along with him. With a hum, he wrapped his arms around Clint’s waist and held him close. “We’re gonna have to do it for them.” He muttered.
Steve came to a stop next to Tony, brows furrowing as the latter threw some confetti in his direction. “Yep.” Clint nodded, leaning back against Bucky. Clint said he was a surprisingly effective big spoon despite being nine inches shorter. Even Hydra couldn’t kill Bucky’s charm.
Tony swayed closer to Steve, his eyes locked firmly on Wanda. Part of Bucky wanted to go make sure she wasn’t being kidnapped by the group of lesbians she was dancing with, but she was the Strongest Avenger so she’d be fine.
While his attention was on Wanda, Clint let out a soft gasp. He pointed towards Steve and Tony. Bucky turned his gaze back to their friends and saw that Steve had wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulder.
“Tell me what they’re saying!” Clint hissed, leaning back further against Bucky. This was way less thrilling than debauching each other in an alleyway, but it was their life.
“’Bucky and Clint said we should have a dance, I’m not much of a dancer.’ Fuck. He’s got no game.” Bucky whispered into Clint’s ear, doing his best to make sure Steve didn’t catch them. “Tony says, ‘don’t worry, it’s just about having a good time.’ I thought he was good at this shit.”
“He’s good at getting people to bed.” Clint shrugged, tilting his head to watch the disaster unfolding. “Howard was kinda like my dad, Tony’s a bit weird with emotions.”
Bucky could see that. Howard had been stunted in the emotions department. Bucky apparently hadn’t even rated a mention in the 45 years after his death. It made sense that he wasn’t a great dad.
Tony leaned into Steve’s side, flashing a peace sign for a passing camera. That would get attention online. Hopefully Steve didn’t look like an idiot. “If they don’t figure it out today, let’s just tell them?” Clint offered, watching as the two separated again.
“Yeah, okay.”
V + I
“I’m not good at this shit.” Tony dropped down into the chair next to Steve. His gaze remained on the rest of the team, milling about the space he’d set out for their team building party. Bucky and Clint were being nearly indecent against one of the walls. Clint got handsy when he drank and Bucky lived to please.
Steve glanced over at Tony. “You throw swell parties.”
“Swell, he says.” Tony chuckled softly. “I mean talking about shit. Being honest.”
Steve nodded, turning his gaze back to the party. Everyone else seemed to be having a banner time. Even Bruce seemed relaxed. “I’m not either.”
Tony reached out and took Steve’s hand into his own. He squeezed it gently and nodded. “So, yeah.”
Steve smiled softly and squeezed back. “So, yeah.”