Tear Me To Pieces

His face was pressed against Tony’s shoulder, so he slowly pulled away in an effort not to wake the sleeping adult.

He gazed at his surroundings, finally finding the time to actually look at the room he was in. It was at least three times the size of Peters, with a little sitting area to the far right of the bed area. There was a doorway that Peter assumed lead to a bathroom to his left. The room was coloured in shades of grey, just like his own. It brought a modern, business-like vibe to each room rather than a homey one.

He sat up, pushing multiple blankets off himself to reveal his Spider-Man suit. He thought about how he must’ve forgotten about it the night before.

That’s what crossed Peters mind next, the night before. He instantly felt guilt override any other emotions swirling inside his head.

He kicked his blankets the rest of the way off, turning so that he could swing his feet over the side of the large bed. This awoke Tony.

“Morning kid.”

Peter turned to look Tony’s way, his eyes were sleep heavy and he smiled gently in Peters direction.

“Morning Mr. Stark.”

Tony propped himself up on his elbows, taking a look at his bedside clock. He sighed and laid back down.

“It’s early.” Said Tony. The clock read 7:25.

Peter shrugged, “I probably need a shower, and definitely some food.”

Tony didn’t argue, watching as Peter stood from the bed. He found his way to the door, turning back to look over his shoulder.

“Hey, Mr. Stark?”

Tony looked up again, “What’s up?”

“Thank you.” Said Peter, turning away and slipping out the door. He pushed it shut behind him and began a slow walk toward his bedroom.

As Peter trekked across the compound to his room, he admired the light that shone in from the early morning sun. He thought about how May always loved the sunrise, how she would open all the blinds in the house at the earliest sign of sunlight. He felt his heart grow heavy and he sighed, his shoulders drooping slightly.

Peter began to explore his thoughts of the accident, and the news segment that had covered it. If the news had info, there had to be some things he could find out for himself. He thought about that night, and it dawned on him how most intersections in Queens had security cameras.

Peter would have to get some help, but maybe he could access the security feeds. He thought about contacting the police, but if they had any info there was no chance they would give it to Peter if they hadn’t already.

Peter made it to his room, he gathered his clothes and headed for a shower. Once he was finished, he went to the kitchen to get himself something to eat. He stepped in through the doorway, and was met with a tired looking Bucky buttering some toast.

Bucky looked up at the sound of footsteps, distress flashed across his face.

“Hi.” Said Peter. His mind did somersaults, he didn’t know what to say.

Bucky offered him a tight lipped smile, and Peter spoke again.

“Hey, listen, about last night-“

A new voice entered the room, “Good morning Peter, Buck.” It was Steve.

Peter saw relief cloud Bucky’s expression, and as Peter turned to greet Steve, he escaped the room with his toast.

Peter sighed, but ended up smiling as Steve was standing in his pyjamas, and that was definitely not something Peter was used to.

“How was your sleep, Peter?”

Steve’s eyes were soft, and Peter remembered being carried past Steve in the hallway the night before. He momentarily felt embarrassed, but he disregarded it.

“It was okay.” Peter said. He watched Steve calculate his next words, and thankfully for Peter, he chose not to address the night before.

Peter turned back to the kitchen and went to the fridge. He opened it to rummage through for something to eat as Steve poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Peter, could you pass me the milk?”

Peter grabbed the carton out of the door of the fridge and held it out so Steve could grab it. Peter settled on grabbing a yogurt and he made his way across the kitchen for a spoon. Once he had his utensil, he sat himself down at the dining table.

Steve joined shortly with his cup of coffee. He sat across from Peter.

“How are you doing?” Steve asked, his eyes held concern but in an almost fatherly manner.

Peter shrugged. “Better, now that I’ve seen you in your pyjamas.”

Steve smiled at Peter, and for the first time it wasn’t gentle, it was genuine. Peter smiled back, chuckling slightly.

“Are you finally settling in?”

“I think so,” Said Peter. He glanced out the window, it was sunny, and it seemed like any snow they had gotten over the weekend hadn’t stuck.

Peter finished his yogurt in silence, and once he was done he made his way toward the lounge of the compound.

In the lounge, he found the coffee table pushed off to the side. Bruce and Natasha were standing on two yoga mats, and Natasha was explaining a pose.

Rightfully, this took Peter by surprise. Two of the worlds mightiest heroes were doing yoga together at eight o’clock in the morning on a Wednesday.

“What...” Peters voice trailed off, and Natasha turned to look at him.

“Oh, hey Peter.” She greeted, sending him a smile. Bruce nodded his hello.

“What are you guys doing?”

“Yoga, Peter.” Bruce looked at him as if he should already know the answer to his question.

Peter stared at them, confused. “Yeah but..why?”

“It’s good for us, and it’s good stress relief.” Bruce explained, and Peter said “ah.” He held himself back from making any hulk-related comments.

He was still kind of weirded out, first Steve in his pyjamas with a cup of coffee, now this? Peter knew moving into the compound that he should have expected some normal-people-behaviour from the Avengers, but for whatever reason the domesticity of it all still thoroughly shocked him. He had to admit, though, it was kind of comforting knowing that they acted as a family rather than just a team of superheroes. It made him miss home a little less, knowing that he could potentially grow to one day call this place home.

Peter was about to say something when Bucky and Sam entered the room. Peter wanted to talk to Bucky, but he was in the middle of a conversation with Sam.

Bucky spotted Peter, and the two of them made eye contact. Bucky turned away and Sam lead them back out of the room, leaving Peter with a mouthful of unsaid words.

Peter sighed, wondering when he would get a chance to apologize, if ever. Bucky didn’t seem too eager to exchange any words with Peter anytime soon.

“Hey, Natasha,” Peter started. She turned again to meet his eyes. “I was just wondering...”

“What is it Peter?” She asked, her eyes curious.

“You have a lot of experience tracking people down, right?”

Natasha raised one eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Peter fiddled with his hands, “I was hoping you’d help me hunt down the guy who killed my aunt?”

Natasha’s eyes went wide, and Bruce was suddenly responding to Peter rather than Natasha.

“Whoa, Peter, what?”

Peter shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I just wanna talk to him.”

Natasha scoffed, “Peter...hunting somebody down is not the same as talking to them.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “You know what I meant.”

Her face grew concerned, and she stood up, taking a few steps toward Peter. “I’m not sure I do.”

He met her eyes, feeling a small amount of annoyance bloom at the pity that shone in her gaze.

“We’re suppose to stop bad guys, aren’t we? This guy’s a bad guy he’s-“

“Peter.” Natasha said, stopping him. She put her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

“We’re the Avengers, we’re suppose to avenge people!”

“We don’t go around killing people, Peter.”

Peter huffed. “I never said anything about killing him.”

Natasha thought about this for a moment, “You’re right, you didn’t. I just don’t want you to do anything you might regret.”

“I know. I just...never mind.“ Peter said, giving up. “Thank you anyway.”

Natasha nodded comfortingly at him. She offered him a smile that he didn’t return, and he turned away.

Peter headed down the hallway, stopping short as Bucky and Sam were blocking the hall.

“Hey, Bucky,” Peter started, jogging down the hallway toward them.

Bucky looked away, “Hey, um, I actually was just about to-“

Peter cut him off, “Can I just talk to you for a minute?”

Bucky shook his head, “Later, okay?” He turned away, walking quickly out of Peters line of vision. Peter sighed dramatically.

Sam was still standing in the hall, watching Peter with curious eyes.

“I literally just want to apologize to him.” Peter complained, not to anybody in particular. He slouched his shoulders over dramatically and stomped his way back to his room.

Peter made it half way across the compound when he ran into Tony.

“What’s up kiddo?”

Peter launched into speech, explaining to Tony how Bucky was obviously avoiding him and how he only wanted to apologize for the night before.

“I don’t think he’s avoiding you because he doesn’t want to talk to you, Pete.”

“Well why else would he avoid me?”

Peter saw Tony smirk, and he grew curious.

“After we left the gym, Cap gave him a pretty long talking to.”

“What?” Peter felt the edges of his mouth perk up.

“He told Bucky he’s not allowed to bother you, and that he’s disappointed in him.”

“Seriously?” Peter let out a small laugh, the first genuine one he’d had in days.

Tony nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. Peter smiled too. He felt his smile grow wider, and he started to laugh. The thought of Steve telling Bucky he’s ‘not mad, just disappointed’ brought amusement to Peters heart.

Tony grinned, feeling relief that Peter was actually smiling. He seemed happy, and Tony was content, even if Peter was only happy for the time being.

+

Peter was going out.

He knew that the Avengers thought it was better that he stayed at the compound, but he had made the decision that he would be going back to Queens, alone.

Peter was standing on the steps outside of the compound, not having left the property yet. Tony wouldn’t be notified of his departure until he stepped off the property.

He was wearing his suit, his mask in hand and he turned his head to make sure there was nobody behind him. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he slipped his mask over his head and bid Karen a hello. He stepped off the property and went on his way.

About three minutes after he had left the compound, he had an incoming call from Tony.

“Mr. Stark is calling.” Said Karen, and Peter instinctively rolled his eyes.

“Block any incoming calls.” Peter instructed. He shot a web at a nearby tree and catapulted himself into the sky.

It took Peter just over an hour to get back into New York, as his personal transport was much faster than a car would have been.

He headed toward Midtown Tech, planning to find Ned. He’d much rather avoid his high school, but Ned wouldn’t be at home at this time in the middle of the week, so he continued on his way to the school.

Peter stopped across the street, planting himself on the rooftop of the building parallel to Midtown. He pulled out his phone, checking the time.

It was nearly noon, so Peter sent a text to Ned, instructing him to meet Peter out front once he was let out for lunch. Peter waited about twenty minutes before he spotted Ned looking confused on the steps of the high school.

Peter jumped up and set on his way. He landed on two feet in front of Ned, who immediately looked beyond shocked.

“Spider-Man!” Somebody yelled, and Peter groaned.

Peter grabbed Ned’s arm and pulled him down the front steps of the school and into the street.

“Peter?” Ned said in a hushed voice, and Peter nodded.

“I need your help.”

Ned was nodding before Peter had finished, and Peter filled him in. “I’m gonna take you to Mays apartment, I need you to hack into the street security footage from Friday.”

“Okay, yeah. Sure.” Ned was a bit flustered.

Peter walked Ned to the apartment, where he told Ned to go up and wait for him. Peter didn’t have any keys on him, so he climbed himself up to his former bedroom window, and entered that way. Once he stepped in, he felt himself grow sad, and as he entered into the living room of the apartment he noticed there were a few boxes laying around. The bookshelves were half empty. Clear signs that people were emptying the apartment unbeknownst to Peter. As Peter went to the front door to unlock it, he wondered who Tony had sent to pack up the apartment. Probably Happy or Pepper.

Once Ned was inside Peter locked the front door and pulled his mask off. Ned was talking a mile a minute.

“Everybody at school is gonna know that I know Spider-Man! That is so cool! But what if they ask who you are? Oh, whatever. It’s still cool.”

Peter smiled halfheartedly.

“You can use Mays old laptop, I just need to scan the footage from that night.” He told Ned the street corner they had been on, and he went to retrieve Mays laptop from her bedroom.

When Peter entered the room he felt his heart sink. The bed was stripped of its covers, and most of the floor space was taken up by closed boxes. Her laptop still sat on her dresser, where the pictures of Peter and his family had been removed. He felt hurt swell up in his chest, and he registered the now familiar prick of tears behind his eyes.

He blinked it away and snagged her laptop, shutting the door behind him.

Once Ned was set up and began to work, Peter walked around the apartment quietly, noting everything that had been touched.

The fridge was empty, and Mays favourite coffee mug was no longer in the cupboard. The sink was free of dishes, and all but one of their fridge magnets had been taken down. The one magnet left was one Peter had gotten made for May two years prior for her birthday. It was a photograph of the two of them from when Peter was young. He was sitting in her lap, a big grin on his face as he was laughing at something he no longer remembered. He had to be close to age six then, and she was looking down at him with a smile on her face.

Peter felt his heart clench, he didn’t know why this magnet had been left. He pulled it off the fridge and held it in his hand, he would keep it.

It took Ned hours to access any type of security footage, and he kept complaining that he was missing school.

“I’ve missed the last three days, you’ll be fine.” Peter offered. He sat next to Ned on the couch, watching as Ned’s fingers flew across the keyboard.

Ned turned to look at him, “You have a reason. I’m skipping. My moms gonna kill me.”

“Just tell her I needed you to help me, okay?”

Ned rolled his eyes, but he continued on with his typing.

The sky was starting to grow dark by the time Ned got the footage Peter needed. Peter had started to fall asleep on the couch. Ned reached over and smacked his shoulder, Peter jolted awake.

“I’ve got it.”

Peter sat up, wide awake now.

Ned looked concerned, “Are you sure you want to watch this?”

Peter nodded, taking the computer from Ned. He placed it in his lap and clicked on the screen, watching as it came to life.

Peter instantly spotted Mays car, and he watched numbly as it moved into the center of the intersection. There was a glare on their windshield, and Peter was thankful that he didn’t have to see May or himself on the screen. A smaller, black car came toward Peters side of the car, slamming into the back half of the car and sending them spinning off the screen. Peter watched as the black car reversed, turned away, and sped off.

He played the footage again. He watched with tired eyes. He paused it when he could clearly see the front of the car.

“Look,” Said Ned, pointing at the screen. “You can kinda see his face.”

Peters mask was sitting on the coffee table, and he leaned forward to put it on.

“Karen, identify this guy for me.” He leaned toward the screen and watched as his suit scanned the man in the drivers seat. A few faces popped up, as the photo Peter had was extremely pixilated. The photo changed a number of times until it landed on one of a very average looking, middle aged guy.

“His name is Wesley Stubbs, he has a criminal record as well as an address in Brooklyn.”

A description flashed on the screen, and Peter read that he already had two DUI’s, the jerk.

“I found him.” Peter said, looking at Ned.

Ned still looked concerned. “What are you gonna do, Peter?”

“Hunt him down.” Peter shrugged.

“What? You’re not thinking of killing someone, are you?”

Peter rolled his eyes “Not exactly planning on it. But this guy killed my aunt, Ned. I deserve some revenge.”

Ned stood up. “Peter, I think you should think about this a little bit more first.”

Peter shut the laptop and placed it beside him on the couch. He stood up, too.

“Why?”

Ned looked away. “I just don’t want you to do something you might regret.”

Peter scoffed. He’d heard that phrase one too many times that day, and he felt it light a small fire inside his chest.

“Whatever, Ned. I can handle myself just fine. This asshole deserves to die.”

“Whoa, Peter.” Ned reached forward, grabbing Peters arm. “No, he doesn’t.”

Peter laughed disbelievingly, “Are you kidding? Yes he does!”

“Peter. You save people, you don’t kill them. I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt-“

Peter cut Ned off, his voice raised. He yanked his arm from Ned’s grip. “Yes Ned! He did mean to! He chose to get behind the wheel in a drunken state, and you know who had to pay for it?! I did! I had to pay the price because my entire fucking family is dead! I had one person left Ned, one, and now she’s gone because of this son of a bitch named Wesley who chose to go out and murder an innocent person!”

Peter had lost his breath, and his chest heaved to catch it. Ned looked at him with wide, shocked eyes. He spoke quietly.

“I understand that you’re hurting, Peter, but there are other ways to deal with this-“

“No.” Peter said stubbornly. “I don’t need you to be just another person getting in my god damn way.”

Peter spun around, he headed across the room to the window and pushed it open, slipping out and leaving Ned alone in his old apartment.

Peter felt angry as he headed toward the compound. This time, his return trip was slower. He felt guilt weighing his shoulders down, and he stopped outside of the city in a park.

Karen spoke, “Mr. Stark has overridden my call block procedures.” Tony’s face was suddenly appearing in front of Peters eyes.

“Where the absolute hell are you Peter?”

Peter didn’t respond, he felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion overcome him.

“I have been trying to contact you all afternoon. I called your goddamn high school. For christ sake, Peter.”

“I’m on my way back to the compound.” Peter said glumly.

“Well where are y-“

“I’m fine, Mr. Stark.”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to you.” Tony said, his voice harsh.

Peter groaned.

“And don’t groan at me.”

“I’ll be back soon.” Peter offered. “End call.”

Tony’s face disappeared just as he was about to say something, and Peter continued on his feet through the park. Once he reached the road he swung himself up onto the top of an oncoming truck, and he continued on his way.

He reached the compound not too long after, and he pulled off his mask once he reached the front doors.

Peter dragged his feet like a little kid as he walked in. He slumped through the foyer and toward the stairs. Peter stopped as he spotted Natasha ascending the stairs toward him.

“Hey, Peter. You don’t look so good, everything alright?”

Peter sighed, “Just leave me alone.”

”Okay, no need to-“

“Ugh, seriously. Can’t you all just leave me alone for once?!”

Natasha looked at him, a hardness in her eyes.

“You know what, Peter? It may not be my place to tell you this but you need to quit acting like a child. We’re here to help. We’ve all had our fair share of loss and we know better than anyone what it feels like to go through this type of grief. But you, acting like a whiny little kid, is never going to help you feel better.”

Peters mouth went dry, and he watched as Natasha set off in the opposite direction, her head held high.

He felt hurt bloom in his chest, and he frowned. He continued walking, but he went toward Tony’s workshop, rather than his bedroom.

Peter tapped weakly on the door, and pushed it open.

“You have a lot of explaining to-“

Peter felt tears wet his eyes, and he looked up at Tony.

Tony’s voice died off at the sight of Peters teary eyes, and Tony walked toward Peter. He enveloped him in a hug.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything, I guess.”

Peter snivelled, he shrugged his shoulders weakly.

“Please don’t run off on me again, and if you do, at least let me know where. You really worried me, Pete.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark.”

“It’s okay.” Tony slid his hand over Peters back, rubbing calming circles into his suit material.

“It’s gonna get better with time, kid. I promise.”