Daisy Stark

It had all started when Nat had seen Daisy fight those watchdogs after training and the spy had felt her heart beat in her throat when she saw the other woman take a hit. Logically Nat knew that Daisy had been through worse, but Nat had still been worried.

Nat didn’t do feelings, so she had been confused at this all happening. When they were on their way back however, the adrenaline having left her body completely, Natasha realised that she was in love.

To be quite frank, it scared her. Not enough to stop her from asking Daisy on a date. But enough to keep her from telling Daisy about how she felt, she had tried multiple times and got scared every time.

There was a reason Natalia Romanova didn’t do love. Love made people weak. Love made people vulnerable. It gave you a blind spot. Such a spot was not affordable in her line of work.

Now she was too late from blocking it all out though, so she had two options, ignore it, or tell the woman she cared about so deeply about that she did.

Every time that Nat tried to tell Daisy, the words got lost. The feeling was odd, unfamiliar. Nat wished she could say it made her wary, but the opposite happened. Before, the closest thing she had had to a friend had been Clint, and even they were not as close as all other friends she had known. They had trusted each other enough, each others abilities enough, that they wouldn’t feel worried when the other was off on a mission without them. Now, whenever Daisy left the compound Nat was so worried she barely slept.

Natasha knew this feeling to be love, but it was so strange.

Then Daisy had started going on missions that took longer. It had started happening more frequently once she’d met that Ghostrider. Robbie. It had been a mission to destroy a watchdog headquarter in LA, but afterwards, she kept running into her old team, and their missions had started to overlap. Daisy hadn’t told her about it at first, but once Nat had gotten a mission in LA as well, and they shared the apartment, Daisy had opened up.

Nat was worried that Daisy might be hurt by her old team. She still cared a lot, but from what Daisy had told her, Daisy’s old team felt like they’d been betrayed. Especially that ‘Fitz’ seemed to not understand Daisy’s motives for leaving.

Daisy had been teaching Nat some hacking tricks, claiming that those were things every hacker or spy should know. Nat had to admit it came in handy.

Especially now Nat was undercover again she realised how useful it was to be able to hack into servers within a few minutes, so she didn’t have people returning to their office before she was done.

She’d been busy for a week now, and was almost done. Only a few more days until she had everything she needed to bring this guy to justice. The undercover work had been hard, especially since she was no longer the most secretive person in the world. The guy she had to bring down was undeniably a piece of work. He was a misogynistic arse, which made the job easier for her, but also worse to do.

She’d need a serious dental check from all the times she’d gritted her teeth during this mission.

Just another thing on her to-do list. On top of which: Finally telling Daisy that she loved her.

It had taken her way too long already. She needed to do it now. She couldn’t stall it any longer.

‘Daisy? Are you home?’ Nat walked into the apartment. It was late already, so the Avenger had expected Daisy to have returned already. Then again, her housemate had no idea she’d return, so perhaps she was still on a mission or decided to go outside.

Then she looked closer, a thin layer of dust had started to form on the coffee machine. One thing both the Starks shared was their love for coffee. There was no way that Daisy had just skipped coffee for a day.

Where was she?

Maybe she had left a note? No, that it would be on the table or something. Natasha frowned. Then she saw her phone on the couch. Clicking the power button she couldn’t help but tremble slightly. Goddammit emotions, they were just in the way. Tapping with her foot impatiently she waited until she could finally fingerprint activate it. Other phones didn’t yet have that feature, but it was almost outdated for Starkphones. Daisy had rolled her eyes saying it was still hackable, by her then, she seemed to come from 3016 instead of 2016.

Thinking of the devil. There had been a voicemail left on her phone. One from Daisy.

The first emotion Nat felt was relief at seeing the voicemail. Then the voice whispering ‘you don’t know yet what it’s gonna say.’ decided to join in. ‘Come on Nat, the only way you’ll know what it says is by listening to it.’ Nat muttered to herself. She dialled the number for voicemail.

Daisy’s voice spoke through her phone, but she sounded sad, like she was ending something. Nat forced herself to pay attention. ‘Hi Nat. (a long sigh) I don’t know how to tell you this but I’ll have to. I’m returning to S.H.I.E.L.D., I missed my old team to much, which I didn’t realise until I ended up doing a mission with my old team. I know you won’t hear this until after your mission has finished but when you do, please call me. I wouldn’t want to lose our friendship. Besides, I won’t rest anyways until I know you’ve returned in one piece.

I’m not certain how long you’ll stay in LA, but feel free to keep living in the apartment, or in the compound when you return. Turns out my father put both on my name. Take care of yourself. (another silence.) I need to force myself to say goodbye, but here it is… Bye’

No. No. Nononono. This couldn’t happen. Nat was supposed to tell Daisy she loved her. How could it be that the first time she fell in love, the first time she allowed herself to fall in love, she was too late?

Nat listened to the message again. And again. And again and again and again. Again until she could talk along with the words. Until she had memorized them. Then she took a deep breath and called Daisy back. Voicemail.

‘Hi Daisy, I got your voicemail. I finished my mission safely, don’t worry. I’ll be returning to New York tomorrow. Of course, you won’t lose our friendship. If you need me just call. Bye Nat.’

When Nat finished recording the voicemail she felt the tears rolling over her cheek. Friendship. She’d keep Daisy as a friend and if one day she would join a mission at S.H.I.E.L.D. and happened to walk into Daisy then that’d be great. They might not end up lovers, but they’d keep their friendship.

Natasha promised herself that she wouldn’t walk away from Daisy. Perhaps one day she’d tell Daisy how she truly felt, but she couldn’t do it now. Not now she was returning to her team.

Natasha didn’t have many friends, she’d always seen them as a liability, the closest this she had to a friend had been Clint.

Maybe she could try to open herself up, allow herself to grow close to the other Avengers, make new friendships, form more trust.

Maybe, when she and Daisy would meet again, face to face, she would no longer be scared, and maybe, very maybe, she and Daisy could have a future.

Maybe.