“And that's our show...I want to thank..."
Tony Stark chortled at Rhodey's Russian jersey, echoed minutes later on the TV set when he turned around to display the President's name and a 45 on the back.
He changed channels to CNN, eagerly awaiting the talking heads to dissect this week's episode of SNL.
Rhodey wasn't pleased with the current administration. For that matter, neither was Tony, although he had voted Independent that election year. Not only did the current President support the Accords, he wasn't shy about enforcing them with the ATCU, painting all non-signatories with the same brush as he did the Inhumans. God, he was sorry about ever opening that can of worms. The President had even threatened T'Challa when the world realized where Steve and the others had been hiding. T'Challa had merely raised an elegant eyebrow back at him and continued on doing whatever he was doing.
Guess who came off second best? Again...
Tony had resigned from the federal commissions he was on once he saw the writing on the wall. Now it was just a matter of regrouping, holding out until the primaries and...
The phone buzzed.
Tony swung his head towards the Fedex box that he kept Steve's phone in. It was silent and still. So it wasn't Rogers trying to get his attention. Not that Rhodey's participation was in any way, shape or form of an olive branch to the rest.
Ohno.
It buzzed again, insistently, and Tony leafed through the scattered papers. He came across an old flip phone that he was certain hadn't been there when he came in. It was a clunky thing, vibrating on his desk, offending his senses. He reached out with one finger and gingerly prodded it open, hoping the outdated tech wouldn't cling to him. He saw the number on display and his eyebrows rose in surprise.
Huh. It looked like the second part of that shot didn't miss either.
He hit Answer and put it on speakers.
"Well now," he drawled, "Wasn't expecting you."
There was silence on the line. Finally an indrawn breath.
"Stark..." the voice said warningly.
"What, Agent? It's been what, five years?"
"Six, almost." admitted Phil Coulson. "When did you find out?"
"A lot of things came to light when SHIELD fell, Agent. Including the files on one Pablo Jimenez and his team. Who Natasha spent quite a lot of time trying to track down, by the way. She was very annoyed...probably still is, come to think of it. I'd avoid Wakanda if I were you."
"Thanks for the advice."
Silence fell.
"So, what do you want, Coulson. My time is valuable...."
"I heard you had more of it on your hands these days."
"Yeah, well, that can happen when your friends all turn on you and you find that the man they elected to head the whole show is an ass..."
"You called for us, Tony."
"Excuse you, I never..."
"Can it, Stark. The whole cross-network shoutout to AgentsofSHIELD. A minor reality show about the people working for the ATCU, tracking down Inhumans and other threats. It was a blip on Mace's radar, then the President decided to push it through while we were...away. Headed towards cancellation, no one really knew about it...then last night. There was no real reason for that mention unless someone needed us. Col. Rhodes’ jersey just confirmed who it was. Especially when you think about the tongue lashing he’s going to get from his superiors tomorrow."
Tony swirled his drink and said nothing. Rhodey said he didn’t care, but still....
Damn it. It had been six years. How did Agent still know which buttons to push?
"Come on, Tony."
Coulson's voice was...gentler now? A note that he had never heard while he knew the man.
"You wanted the real Agents of SHIELD's attention. You got it. And my time is, in fact, limited. Apparently we're all still wanted alongside Captain Rogers and his crew. What do you need from us?"
Tony swallowed his drink. Time to do this.
"Come in, Phil."
A bark of laughter.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. I need your help."
A pause.
"Tony Stark admitting he needs help. Never thought I'd live to see it..."
"He's compromised, Coulson. And it's not Russia."
"Those are strong words, Tony. Can you prove it?"
"No. Not yet. That's why I need you. I need the real SHIELD to put these puzzle pieces together."
"Puzzlepieces..." came a reflective sigh. "I've heard that before."
"I can protect you..."
"No...if we decide to do this, you'll need to stay out of it. ALL the way out of it."
"But..."
"Consider this a last request."
"I don't like the sound of that."
A humourless chuckle.
"Trust me, I don't like living through it either."
Tony slumped in his chair as he considered the implications of that statement.
"Then come in...let me do what I can. Let me protect your people, at the very least."
"I don't want..." objected Phil.
"Where do you want to meet?" came a female voice.
"Oh, no. Don't you DARE, Agent Johnson..."
"You have no standing to talk, Phil." another female voice, distinctly unimpressed.
"May..." came a return growl.
Tony grinned.
"The infamous Quake and Melinda May. Finally, people I can deal with."
"I don't need a tazer to deal with you, Stark." May growled.
"Charming as ever, Melinda. So, Baby Agent...been watching you.."
"Back off, Stark, or I WILL use it on you." threatened Phil.
"Overprotective much?" Tony asked sweetly.
"You have no idea." Daisy sighed. "So, where do you want to meet?"
"Absolutelynot..."
"Hey, you put ME in charge of this whole thing, remember? I get to make the call. And I'm making it. Stark?"
Tony grinned as he activated his nanobots.
"This is going to be the beginnings of a BEAUTIFUL friendship, Agent Johnson."
Phil sighed.
"I am going to regret this."
3monthslater
The Skrull looked up in shock. This wasn't in any of the intel their Terran puppets had handed over. He had Terran military authority, this man, above all people, should be obeying him. Instead, they were headed to back to base with a team of TERRANS on board. All of them glaring at him.
"But...but you're with SHIELD!" he tried, craning his neck to get a look at their leader.
"SHIELD?" the leader replied, finally turning around to face him.
"Never heard of it."