September 1936
Bucky followed Steve into the apartment, making sure to return the spare key under the brick for the next time Steve misplaced his.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at my place tonight? My folks wouldn’t mind. I think they’d be mad if I didn’t ask you.” Bucky leaned against the couch in the middle of the apartment, “You don’t have to stay with us after that. Just one night, Stevie.”
“If I say yes to one night, I say yes for the rest of my life. Your folks will never let me leave.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Bucky tried to lighten the mood with a small chuckle, “I heard them discussing the possibility of adopting you; had to remind them you’re eighteen— you’re an adult. And, well, I can’t marry my brother.” Bucky placed his hand on Steve’s cheek.
“Can’t marry you anyway,” Steve walked away and left Bucky standing alone.
“Not the point,” Bucky stated, “So what’s wrong with staying with me, Punk?”
“Told you, Buck. I don’t need your help.”
“You think you can pay for this apartment by yourself?” Bucky asked.
“I don’t see why not,” Steve argued, “I can hold a steady job.”
“Stevie, you spend half the winter sick. Abled body men aren’t finding jobs these days. If you moved in with me I could help.”
“It’s September. Mom left me some money. By the time it runs out I’ll have found a job.”
“Okay, Stevie,” Bucky was done arguing. He moved to the kitchen and sat down at the small table, tipping back in the creaking wooden chair.
“How long do you plan on staying here, Buck?” Steve asked, placing his suit jacket on the back of the couch and tugging at the tie around his neck.
“As long as you need.”
“I don’t need you to stay Buck. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. I don’t expect you to be. No one does. And I know you don’t need me to take care of you. But I need to be here, for my sake.”
“I told you before, I want to be alone.”
“Alone to do what, Punk?” Bucky asked, “Wallow in your own misery?”
“My mother is gone, Bucky!” Steve snapped, “She died! What am I supposed to do? Not be sad? Just move on? Act like everything will be fine? She was the only family I had left, Bucky! I have nothing now!”
Steve shut up when the kitchen chair clattered to the floor and his face was pulled into Bucky’s chest; his head being held there by a strong hand. He didn’t have it in him to wrap his arms around Bucky; even though he was dying to do so.
Bucky pressed a kiss to his head before pulling away to look into Steve’s eyes, “You’ll never have nothing as long as I’m around. I’m your family, remember?”
Steve was surprised at the tears he felt running down his cheeks but did nothing to stop them, “What would I do without you, Buck?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Bucky assured, pulling Steve’s head back to his chest “There will never be a day in your life that I won’t be around.”
Bucky wanted to add that he should be the one to worry— not Steve. Steve wasn’t the glowing picture of health he pretended to be every time he tried to punch some thug in every alley and parking lot in Brooklyn.
He had been sick enough in the past to make Bucky wonder if he was going to bury his best friend. Now he’s had household contact with tuberculosis. A strain that had recently taken down one of the strongest women they’d ever known.
Bucky expected that one day he’d live in a world without Steve Rogers. Since the day they’d met, he knew Steve would get crushed in the real world. And Bucky was reminded every time he’d found Steve being beaten in every alley and parking lot in Brooklyn.
None of this he would ever tell Steve. Wasn’t gonna crush him with the reality of his own mortality.
“What if we lived here?” Bucky suggested.
“What?” Steve asked, lifting his head to look at Bucky.
“I know you don’t need my help, Stevie, I get it. You’d do fine without me. We’ll keep each other company. We could stay in this apartment. Together. Think ‘bout it. Nobody’ll suspect a thing. Just two pals helping each other after a parent’s death.”
“What’ll your folks think?” Steve asked.
“They’ll be thrilled that you’re being taken care of and my sisters will be thrilled that they no longer have to see me every day.”
“So… we’d be roommates?”
“As long as you take out the trash.”