Chapter 1
Steve was pretty sure someone was trying to break into his apartment.
There was a faint scratch of metal against metal, interrupted only by the occasional rattle of his doorknob. The sound had started five minutes before, and didn’t give any sign of stopping soon. When he shuffled closer to the door, he could hear a muffled cursing coming from the other side.
Someone was doing an exceptionally bad job of breaking into his apartment.
Briefly, Steve considered just waiting them out. If they hadn’t picked the lock by then he wasn’t incredibly confident in their ability to do it, well, ever. Maybe they were new at it though. Maybe this was the first lock they’d ever picked and they just needed time to perfect their technique. Steve wasn’t really interested in giving them that time, while he sat around with his hands under his ass.
He didn’t think it through any more that that, moving as silently as possible towards the door, and then wrenching it open as quickly as he could. He was hoping to catch them by surprise, or maybe scare them into running away.
Instead, the person on the other side fell forward, coming at him so fast that for a moment, Steve thought he was being rushed. He barely had enough time to reach out and catch them before they fell completely onto the floor.
The smell of alcohol was coming off the man in waves, enough to make him choke on it. Steve did his best to right the would be intruder, and even with his help it took a solid minute to get him standing even relatively straight. That feat was only managed by leaning him heavily against the doorframe.
Finally able to take a step back, he took a second to look the other man over. He was mumbling to himself, too quiet for Steve to make out. Pulling at his clothes in what must have been an attempt to straighten them, but that seemed to be a battle already lost. Everything about him screamed dishevelment; hair long enough to touch his shoulders and unkempt, his face showing the beginnings of stubble. The sleeve on his left side was knotted at the shoulder.
Steve only had a moment to take this in before the other man started talking, pulling him back to reality like a slap in the face.
“What’re ya doin in my apartment?” He slurred, as he squinted at Steve, brow wrinkled.
Steve opened and closed his mouth, in what was probably a pretty good impression of a fish, but didn’t really work for an answer. His brain couldn’t even begin to process that question (or anything else that had happened in the last three minutes,) let alone come up with an answer to it.
It didn’t matter though, because before Steve could say anything the other man must have decided that he didn’t really care. Pushing his way past, he stumbled into the apartment.
Steve, still trying to process what had already happened, did nothing to stop him.
Standing in his doorway, mouth still gaping open like an idiot, he was momentarily unable to move. His brain couldn’t seem to figure out what the hell was happening, let alone what he wa supposed to do about it.
In a desperate bid to at least do something, Steve poked his head out into the hallway. He wasn’t really sure what he was looking for. Maybe cameras, some evidence that none of this was really happening and it was all just some dumb prank. Maybe just someone to see what was going on and assure him that yes, it was absolutely fucking insane.
Of course the hallway was empty.
He was still in the middle of that crisis when he heard the crash behind him, reminding him of the much bigger crisis currently in his apartment.
Fuck.
By the time Steve pulled his door closed and turned around the man had made it significantly farther into his apartment than he would have thought him capable. He stumbled down the hallway, occasionally knocking into the walls and furniture along the way.
“Hey, uh, I think maybe you’re confused.” Steve tried dumbly, as he followed after the man.
“No, you.” He mumbled back, and continued on.
Steve was caught up to him by that point, and he grabbed at his arm in an attempt to stop him from going any farther into the apartment. “If you’d just stop-”
“The fuck’re you touchin’ me for?” He slurred, turning so he could pull his arm out of Steve’s grasp.
The motion seemed to be too much for the man’s coordination, however, and Steve had to reach out and stop him from crashing into the wall.
“Whoa, just...slow down alright?”
“Gotta piss.” He said, as Steve righted him.
“Uh,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Yeah, uh, the bathroom’s just down there.” He pointed dumbly down the hall, because what the fuck else was he gonna do. At that point, Steve wouldn’t have put it past him to just pee right in his hallway.
“Course it’s there.” The man stumbled slightly as he turned back down the hallway, but managed to continue on without anymore help.
When he tried to follow him into the bathroom, the man shot him a glare. “What? Gonna hold it?”
Steve wasn’t wild about the thought of leaving him alone in his apartment, but turned and walked out of the bathroom anyways, face red. He could hear the man peeing before he was even five steps down the hallway, bathroom door still wide open.
What the fuck was he supposed to do? He could call the cops, but obviously the guy was in a bad way and it wasn’t like he was hurting anyone. Being a complete nuisance, yeah, but that wouldn’t kill him. He probably just needed to sleep it off, and he’d be fine. He wasn’t really confident in the man's ability to get somewhere safe if he turned him out though.
Steve had wandered out to his living room, pacing as he tried to think of the best solution, and was still pacing when he heard the opening door.
He hurried down the hallway, arriving just in time to find the man falling into his bed.
“Hey, buddy. You can have the couch, alright?”
He got an incoherent mumble in reply.
“I mean it, this is my bed.” Steve tried again, moving closer into the room to give the man a shake.
Just more mumbling.
Which was great, just fucking great.
Looking at the man making himself comfortable in his bed, thinking about how he was definitely going to have to wash the sheets in the morning, Steve felt the fight drain out of him. Really, what the hell was he even supposed to do?
At the very least, he supposed he should take the man’s shoes off.
He groaned when the first shoe was pulled from his foot. “You tryin’a get me naked?” The question was mumbled into the pillow, and Steve was just barely able to make it out.
“I’m taking your shoes off, seeing as how you’re sleeping in my bed.” Steve snapped back, and pulled at the other.
The only response he got was the other man taking it upon himself to shimmy out of his pants.
Steve took that as his cue to leave.
Shutting the door behind him, Steve headed back out to his living room, grabbing a guest blanket on the way. He still wasn’t too sure about what had just happened, and he was pretty sure that if he thought about it anymore, his head would explode.