Chapter 7
Bucky dashed out of the restaurant, too embarrassed to look back. Steve had called out to him, but he didn't want to turn, he didn't want him to see his face, and wasn't sure he wanted to see Steve's either, terrified of how he might have reacted. He was at their apartment in a minute, locking the door and leaning against it before he realised that Steve lived there too, that he couldn't hide there. But he was breathing hard, and knew he couldn't run further, not before he caught his breath. He decided the best thing to do would be to pretend sleep, knowing Steve wouldn't try to wake him up until morning.
---
He woke up before the sun rose the next morning, desperate to avoid his roommate. He left the apartment, trying not to make a noise. Heading in the opposite direction to where they usually went in the morning, he looked around trying to find someplace open, not wanting to spend hours walking aimlessly. After eventually giving up, realising that there was nowhere to go, Bucky headed back towards the apartment to talk to Steve, with a sudden burst of courage that surprised himself. But when he rounded the corner of their street, and saw a blond head coming out of the building, he ran back out of sight. He realised he wasn't ready to face Steve yet, and wasn't sure when he would be. He found himself a few blocks away from the Tower, buying a late breakfast from a small cafe. He walked out, distracted, not noticing the voice calling his name. Someone tapped his shoulder, and he glanced over his shoulder, blanching, worrying that it was Steve. It took him a moment to realise that he wasn't looking at Steve, he was looking at Clint. 'How hard is it to hear someone yelling at you? Going deaf in your old age?'
'If you make one more age joke...'
'What? You'll kill me? Considering your, er, history, that actually holds weight, so you can't say that!'
He glared at Clint for a second, before his face lifted into a smile. 'Who says it'd be an empty threat?'
'Wow.' Clint said, slightly surprised. 'You know, sometimes I'm surprised that your best bud is Captain America, personalities seem to clash a little.' He said it lightheartedly, expecting a laugh, or maybe just an eyeroll, but Bucky immediately stopped smiling when he mentioned Cap. When he noticed Clint looking at him, head cocked to the side in confusion, he quickly regained a somewhat forced smile.
'What's wrong? Something happen between you two?'
'You could say that. But I thought you'd know, it surely would've been mentioned at training.'
'Training? Who goes to training before 11? I'm not like you guys who have nothing to do other than train, I have other interests.'
'Yes, of course. You need to spend half an hour drinking coffee before you can even think about training, don't you? And I suppose archery doesn't need the athleticism the rest of us do.'
'Excuse me? Just cause you're not able to fight aliens with weaponry barely designed for fighting trained people doesn't mean you have to be salty about it.'
'Well, I gotta complain of the hypocrisy. You go on and on about me being ancient, and yet you use a weapon that's hundreds of years older than me, and seem to be proud of it.'
'So?' He paused, waiting for a response that didn't come. 'Anyway, I was on the way to training, wanna join me?'
'Don't think I'll go to the tower today.' Bucky's reply was blunt, trying to make sure Clint wouldn't argue. But, of course, he did.
'You look like you need company, come for that even if you don't do anything. Not like I was gonna do much anyway.'
'I dunno,' he said reluctantly. He did want company, but he didn't want to run across Steve.
'Come on. This time of day, everyone'll be in the training room, if you're avoiding Cap just don't go in there.' He paused for a moment. 'I'm not taking no for an answer.'
'Fine.'
---
He had to admit, he was glad for the company. He hadn't thought about the previous night for an hour, but it all suddenly came back to him when Tony walked past. 'How was last night?'
Bucky stood, shocked. 'You don't know? Hasn't he told you?'
'No...' Tony was worried, looking at Bucky's face which was quickly turning red, and Clint's shock behind him.
'Wait, this has something to do with Tony too?' Clint asked, before saying to Tony, 'I don't think you should've brought that up, I dunno anything about what's going on, but it isn't good.'
'Isn't good? Ya think?' Bucky was livid. 'What did you think was going to happen Stark? I thought you were supposed to be smart!'
'What happened? You can't just tell with no explanation.' He was trying to keep calm, trying to lessen the tension, but it didn't seem to be working. And when he concentrated, he realised Bucky's was embarrassed.
'I made a mistake. A big one. And it's gonna ruin everything,' he said softly.
'Wait, I thought this was Tony's fault? Why are you blaming yourself?'
'You ok with him knowing?' Tony asked, trying not to do anything that could annoy Bucky. He gave a slight shrug, which he took as confirmation. 'I set Bucky up on a blind date, as you can see it didn't go great.'
'Isn't Cap supposed to be involved in this somehow?'
Tony hesitated, realising how badly it sounded when he was being blunt. 'Er... Yeah, that's who I set him up with.'
'What?! Even I can see that's a bad idea!'
'Well, apparently Nat couldn't, so seems you're the only one.'
'Nat as well? What's going on with you guys, all out of your minds? But Bucky, feel free to continue yelling at Tony, I'll do it for you if you don't.'
'Wait, no. Before you start yelling, please tell us what this huge mistake was?' Tony asked, hoping Bucky was just overreacting.
'Umm...' he hesitated, not wanting to say, but knowing that he had to. 'I kinda kissed him?'
---
The floor below, Steve and Natasha were having a similar conversation. 'He kissed you? I didn't see that coming.'
'Neither did I.' Natasha realised that there was the slightest smile hidden beneath his anger.
'Wait, are you... happy about that?'
'My best friend has disappeared into thin air, just after I'd found him after thinking he had been dead since '45. Why'd I be happy?'
'Because there's a smile hidden beneath all that?'
'Ok, fine. It made me realise that I love him, that I always have. So yeah, I guess I'm kinda happy. But that doesn't stop me from being pissed that you did this with no warning, and have probably ruined everything.'
'Steve... If you kissed him back he'd have to have realised.'
---
'It's not like you know how he felt about that.' Clint said, breaking the silence.
'He just did nothing, was completely still the whole time. I almost feel like he moved in again after I learnt back, but I'm probably just imagining things. I doubt he actually did.'
---
'Oh. Well, that makes it harder. You tried talking to him?'
'Yeah, I was just going to talk to him, when I have no clue where he is.'
'That didn't stop you before.'
'It's not like I was even near succeeding last time.'
---
'Talk to him, maybe you can work things out.'
'And what do I do when he asks why I did that?'
'You tell the truth.'
'Don't listen to Tony. He got you into this mess, but it won't be him getting you out of it.'
'Oh yeah? You just watch.'
'Anyway, what you gotta do is try and figure out what Cap's thinking, and well, I dunno, pretend you were drunk if he isn't interested.'
---
'But what if he was not thinking clearly? He'd had so much to drink, it could have just been a huge mistake. I dunno what I'd do!'
'Was he acting drunk?'
'Well, no... But what if?'
'Listen, you just gotta talk to him, and it's gotta be you. I'm sorry I started this, I wish I could do more to help.'
---
'Talk to him. Avoiding him will just make things harder. Better to bring it up now than later.'
'Can't you do something to help Tony? You started this, I know I've gotta end it, but can you at least try to get me there?'
'You've seen how this went. I don't think that'd be a good idea.'
'Well, you have to try!'
'Ok, ok, I will.' He left the room, thinking he'd talk to Steve, try to figure out what he was thinking, give Bucky a heads up. But the training room was empty. He noticed the hook for the punching bags was broken. 'Yikes,' he said to himself. 'Cap's not too happy.' He worried, equipment broke all the time (the others were sure lucky he was a billionaire), but that had been made to last.
'Cap?' he called out, 'You still here?' He heard footsteps behind him, and turned around to see Natasha, who was visibly upset.
'Why did I agree to this? Why did you have to suggest this?' She sighed. Her voice was quiet, but it was said with the force of a yell. 'I've never seen him so broken.'
'Listen, I never thought,' he stopped, trying to decide how to put it, 'That what I thought I was seeing would be true.' There, he'd said it. Too bluntly, but he'd admitted that he'd thought this might happen. He just hoped Natasha wouldn't tell anyone else.
'You,' she paused, 'You're telling me you suspected Bucky might... feel that way?' She was mad, but there was a slimmer of hope in there too. Maybe that meant it hadn't been a mistake, as Steve half-believed.
'Yes.' He searched Natasha's face, looking for anything other than anger. He thought he saw something else flash over her features, but couldn't quite tell. A moment later, it was gone.
'You're telling me, that when I was trying to pick a date for him that wouldn't destroy the relationship he is currently in, you suggested one that you thought might work out?!'
'I don't know what I was thinking. And if you were so desperate not to ruin anything, why did you agree to it?'
'I thought you'd thought it through! I thought it'd just be a laugh! But no, now Steve's all upset because who knows what's gonna happen, who knows if Bucky actually kissed him on purpose or not! And we're to blame. We're to blame for possibly ruining a friendship that survived decades, that survived mind washing for God's sake!'
'Did he want Bucky to have kissed him accidentally?' Tony asked, quiet. 'Does he think things can go back to how they were if it was?'
'What?' Why was Tony suddenly calm and collected? Hadn't he heard what she'd just said?
'The answer to this is all in Steve's reaction. We can fix it that way. But to do that, you need to tell me.'
'No,' she replied, 'He loves Bucky, you can't really see how happy he is under all his worry about what's gonna happen, but he is.'
Tony grinned. 'Well, that makes it easy, no one has to lie, everyone lives happily ever after, the end. Except that there'll be a bunch of monsters trying to kill us all cause you know, superheroes.'
He raced back to tell Bucky that he had a chance. He decided against straight up telling him Steve loved him, thinking that Steve should be the one to say. But when he returned to the room they had been in, it was empty. He searched the Tower. Not a trace of Bucky. Turning to Clint, who had been in the kitchen making coffee, he asked, 'Where's Bucky?'
'He left,' he said casually, not understanding why Tony got so infuriated.
'Did he say anything about why?'
'Something about needing some space to think. Apparently an almost empty skyscraper isn't roomy enough.'
'He'll be back?'
'Reckon he was making an excuse to run off. Might not be long, hopefully just a couple of days.'
'And you let him? If he had waited just a few minutes, if you had delayed him, all would've been good, but no, you had to let him run off.'
'Wait, you could've fixed this?'
'I dunno if I can anymore. But I'm going to try.'