Fractured Halves, part 2
Bruce
“Asgardian clothing is actually really comfortable,” I admitted, awkwardly adjusting the sleeves of the robe to cover my bandages as Natasha pushed me down the hallway.
“I should snag myself an outfit. Wearing Tony’s sweatpants is getting old.”
I tried to laugh, but my body wouldn’t cooperate, tensing up as we approached the place where the others would be. I wasn’t ready to face them, or anyone, really. I could smell the meal preparations wafting over from the adjoining kitchen, but the aroma only turned my stomach.
“Can we leave the wheelchair here?”
“The chair was part of the deal,” Nat reminded me. “Besides, you’re the one who insisted on getting Helen involved.”
I shrugged uncomfortably. “She doesn’t have to know.” She said nothing, but continued to push the chair. “Please, Nat, I—I can’t—I can’t go in there like this.”
Nat pulled up at the door with a huff. “Fine. We’ll leave it outside. But I’m sticking close to you.”
A spark jumped between our fingertips as she reached out to help me to my feet. I flinched. “Sorry about that. I don’t know if it’s a result of being ruled by Thor or what, but everything around here seems really static-charged recently.”
A loud crash sounded from the other side of the door, followed by raised voices.
Nat swore under her breath. “They’re early.”
Tony
I could feel my blood pressure rising as I stared down the men on the far side of the table. “You had no business bringing him here.”
“You asked for my team, I brought it.”
“Well you can take it back and shove it right up your—”
“Steve? Tony?”
A quiet voice interrupted my outburst. We both turned to see Bruce standing in the doorway, haggard and pale, but walking. Natasha was right behind him.
“Good, I need some backup here.”
“Tony, I think you should sit down,” Bruce said calmly. He started to walk toward me, barely avoiding the shards of my coffee mug on the floor. “Take a deep breath, we can work through this.”
I was anything but calm. “This man killed my parents! He has no right to be here.”
Steve’s jaw clenched. “He has as much of a right as you do, Stark.”
Fury rose up inside me. I saw red. “Is that how it is? I wasn’t supposed to walk out of Siberia, was I. Wanna give it another go?” I thumped my chest angrily, marking the spot the arc reactor had cracked against my ribs. Bruce tried to put a hand on my arm to steady me, to draw out some of the restless, festering energy welling up within me, but I pulled away.“This time maybe you can put the shield all the way through my heart instead and finish the job!”
The crack of splintering wood rang out through the great hall. Steve slowly withdrew his clenched fist from where the shattered chair had stood seconds early.
“Dammit, Tony, I didn’t want to fight you.”
“Language,” I snapped back with a mirthless chuckle. “Oh how the mighty have fallen. Not so righteous now, are you?”
Sam held his hands out placatingly. “Tony, I promise you, we are only here to help.”
“Flyboy, you’re on real thin ice.” I rounded on Steve. “Speaking of ice, I almost froze to death in that cave. I thought I was dying. I nearly did die.”
“Tony—“
“I’m not the one who went into the ice to die, Rogers. We should have left you there.”
Even as the words exited my mouth, a worm of regret clawed inside my gut.
Bruce
Steve looked like he had been slapped. Tony backed off from the table a few paces, seeming to realize he’d gone too far. I just stood there, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the grief separating them. I had a knack for getting stuck in the midst of the unfixable. Nat took a step towards Steve, but he waved her away. He pulled out a different, intact chair and sank into it, resting his forehead on his clenched hand.
“I’m sorry, Tony. I truly am.”
Tony froze.
“I shouldn’t have left you in that cave. I should have told you about your parents. I should have made sure you were safe before I left.”
Tony turned back towards us, unshed tears glittering brightly in his eyes as he fought to keep them from falling. Anger mixed with grief. “I can’t do this.” He gestured towards the silent, stoic man who had been hanging back behind Steve and Sam, avoiding the confrontation though the tension in his jaw suggested he was struggling to sit out the battle playing out before us.
“You told me the universe needed every fighter we could get.”
“He’s a murderer.”
“Bucky,” Steve said slowly, emphasizing the name, “was tortured, brainwashed, and reprogrammed by Hydra. He was forced to kill your parents.”
“Their blood is on his hands,” Tony exclaimed angrily. “They died because of him. And you still think you can show up here, defending my parents’ killer to me?”
“He’s my friend,” Steve pleaded. “The only family I had left. I'm not going to throw that away because Hydra did unspeakable things to him.”
“He’s a monster.”
Pressure built up against my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I struggled not to dissociate, curling the fingers of my hand behind my back, curling and flexing. Nat, seeming to read my emotional battle, appeared behind me and silently took my hand in hers, steadying and grounding me.
“Am I?” I choked out.
Both Tony and Steve looked at me as if they had forgotten I was in the room. The words popped the tension like a bubble, and the build-up towards blows suddenly halted.
“What?” Tony asked.
“Am I?” I repeated, trying to slow my heart rate and stay in the present, not in the myriad of places my mind was fighting to drag me.
“Are you what?” Steve questioned.
My focus was on Tony as I pulled away from Natasha’s steadying grip. “Am I a monster to you.”
“Bruce, I—”
I shook my head. “Forget it. I know what I am, and I wasn’t brainwashed. I remember it. The snap of bones. All the different sounds bodies make when they hit concrete, grass, stone, metal. Breaking everything I touch. The thrill of destruction.” I jabbed at my chest. “The anger that I can never get rid of because it is a part,” jab, “of,” jab, “me.” Jab. The sleeves of my long Asgardian robe were riding up, but I didn’t care anymore.
“Bruce—” Nat tried to interject, but I wasn’t listening through the roaring in my ears.
“Thanos is coming, and the universe needs every defender we can give her. I know what a monster looks like, and that—” I gestured towards Bucky, “isn’t it.”
Just as quickly as the words had begun to surge out of me, they dried back up. I turned and fled the room.
Steve
For a moment, everyone stood there in stunned silence.
Tony snapped out of it first. “Shit.”
“I have to go.” Natasha made a beeline for the opposite door.
Suddenly the room emptied out around me. “What the hell?” I asked out loud to the nearly empty hall.
“I’m sorry, Steve.” Bucky looked at me ruefully. “Maybe it would have been better to leave me in Wakanda.”
I shook my head, clapping an arm around his broad shoulders. “This isn’t your fault, Buck.”
“Did we miss the fight?” An unfamiliar voice sounded disappointed. I whirled around to see a woman with big eyes and what appeared to be antennae, and a strange, cerulean, bare-chested man covered in ochre markings staring back at me.
“How long have you been there?” I demanded.
The strange man shrugged. “Long enough.” He raised a kernel of popcorn to his mouth and munched it, unfazed.
“I am Mantis and this is Drax,” the woman piped up again. “You are Captain America.”
Drax stared at me. “What kind of ship?”
“What?” I was thoroughly confused. None of this was on the list.
“You are a captain.” Drax repeated. “What kind of ship do you fly?”
Bucky chortled beside me. My heart ached from how much of a relief it was to hear that sound, after everything we’d been through together. I shot him a playful glare, but it only broadened the smile on Bucky’s lips.
“I’m… I’m not that kind of captain,” I tried to explain. “Actually, it’s great to meet both of you, but I think I should go after my team and find out what is going on.”
“They are out looking for the man who is two,” Mantis offered.
Bucky echoed the phrase. “The man who is two?”
“Banner,” I realized out loud.
Drax nodded and ate another piece of popcorn.