You can't help but cry
Endings are always going to break you
┏┈┈┈☾┈┈┈┓
A human soul is a treacherous place
Beneath the mask, we wear a dark and twisted labyrinth
Secrets locked in 'cause it's closed
┗┈┈┈☽┈┈┈┛
A/n: Hola humans, It is I, updating this a year and a bit later because I’m stupid and my ADHD got me distracted. Anyway, enjoy it.
Tessa’s POV:
The noise hits me first, loud and painful, making my head pound with the start of a throbbing headache that makes me want to go back to sleep to escape it, but it’s too late for I have woken up and must face the pain head-on.
The headache doesn’t last too long and I slowly gain the energy to open my eyes, blinking a few times to clear the fog clouding my vision as I look around seeing my guest room at the compound, being the same as when we left, with nothing of mine in it, not even one thing changing besides the chair beside my bed, like in a hospital room for visitors when visiting someone sick.
Am I sick? I push the thought away, instead choosing to focus on the unbearable pounding in my skull, threatening to break a large hole through it and destroy it completely.
I know something is wrong, it would be impossible for me not to notice. It’s a sense of tranquillity that washed over me for just a moment upon my awakening, even though it faded ever-so quickly it still left me disoriented and wanting it back desperately.
Maybe I’m going crazy, assuming the worst never meant someone was sane. As assumptions never get me anywhere but deeper into the problem, I have created which creates the panic attacks that love to grace me with their despicable presence that I never wanted nor needed.
I sigh audibly, trying to think back to what I last remember, even just something small would help with this sense of anonymity that I don’t want to feel or have. It comes back in flashes, the battle, explosions of blue light, and someone almost dying.
The memories start to rush back faster and faster, I gasp as each new one enters my brain. Tony almost died…. Did I save him? I take multiple deep breaths trying to process all of this in an instant.
After a while, the overwhelming recalling of memories passes and I can think straight again, “Woah” I whisper, as the last 24 hours finally sinks in. “No wonder I have a headache,” I shake my head in a fetal attempt to shake the ache lose, but to no avail, it just comes back ever so stronger packing a harder punch.
“God I could go for Advil right about now,” I mutter flopping face down onto the pillow I was sleeping on. The headache was only getting worse and showed no sign of even thinking about diminishing the pain it was causing me, only showing to be getting even worse as time continued.
“Your wish is my command.” An unrecognizable voice says from somewhere above me. I gasp startled by this new voice because it makes my headache worse and I didn’t expect it. I stay face down on the pillow and mutter “God?” and the new voice laughs, “Not even close sorry. No miracles today, maybe Friday though,” I laugh wincing at how it makes my head hurt.
“God, Gimme drugs please,” I beg and the voice chuckles. “I’m Clint by the way.” I nod at his introduction and roll over onto my back to face him, “I’m still going to call you God either way.” He laughs and tosses the bottle of Advil at my head and I catch it, fumbling slightly.
“It’s what Jesus would have wanted.” He solemnly replies nodding at the ceiling as though acknowledging Jesus themselves, then shooting me a wink as he flips himself somehow back into the tiny vent he had used earlier.
I laugh at the interaction marking it as the weirdest one in a while that wasn’t with Peter or Wanda. I sigh as I feel the meds kick in, happy to have a break from the painful pulsing in my brain.
“Hopefully I can get new clothes soon, hospital clothes aren't a look,” I mutter rolling over to look at the amazing view from the window, It was magical, seeing all of the New York skylines as the birds flew by and the sun painted a warm glow across my face.
It’s peaceful, in this hospital room, which I know won’t last long, but for now…. I think I’ll try to enjoy the peace that I have.
__________________________
Peter’s POV
It’s been 11 days, 19 hours, 10 minutes and 16 seconds since we all defeated him and his vile army, everyone is shaken even with the time that has passed, Some have yet to leave their rooms, others dropped off the face of the earth, to either deal with their experience, or out of guilt for those who didn’t get to return alongside us.
It's a heavy burden we carry, knowing we got to live, while others didn't.
I pity them, the ones who can pretend to move on, it wouldn’t even be a choice for some of us.
Tessa has been asleep for those 11 days, Shuri and I have been taking shifts hoping she wakes up, praying she wakes up.
She can't be another name on that damn list. She doesn't belong on the list, because she will wake up, she must wake up.
The compound is quiet for once, which is a nice change but not really a welcomed one as it highlights how we will never get back to what used to be normal, because something will always be missing, be it a person or a memory.
I wish everything could come back to normal, I miss hearing the team laughing uncontrollably in the kitchen because Steve burned the pancakes while bickering with them, I miss Tony smiling as he and Bruce debated quantum physics.
I just want that feeling to come back. Uncontrollable happiness seems impossible when all we can do is carry the weight of those who can’t laugh with us, those who will never experience another inside joke, those whom we will never see again.
It hurts so much.