The One Where Steve Returns
“Tony.”
Tony freezes where he’s hunched on the floor of his lab, tinkering with an Ironman gauntlet. After a moment, he begins working again, but he’s no longer focused on the gauntlet.
“JARVIS, I told you to lock down the lab.”
“I’m afraid the Captain’s override code is still functional, sir.”
Tony scowls at the gauntlet, muttering about how he should have disabled that override.
“How long’ve you been down here, Tony?”
Tony can’t ignore the presence behind him any longer, “I don’t believe that’s any of your business, Cap.”
And there it is. Admittance. Steve is there, he’s right behind Tony, and Tony knows it, feels it. But he refuses to turn around- he can’t look at him, not yet. He can’t.
“It’s my business if you’re not going to take care of yourself. You’re a part of a team.”
Tony scoffs, “Am I? I thought that was broken up- and, if I remember right, you played a big part in that.”
“That’s not fair, Tony.”
Tony can’t stop himself- he stands and whirls, pointing at Steve, “No- you know what’s not fair? You know what’s not fair- you. You getting on my case about keeping things from the team, then turning around and doing just that.You lied to me. How could you-“ He laughs, “How could you keep something like that from me? Y’know, if you’d told me from the start, ‘Hey, my best friend is a brainwashed assassin working for HYDRA who kinda killed your parents,’ I’d have some sympathy. I would have helped- but no. No, you had to wait until Zemo showed me a video of him killing my mother- and even then, you didn’t own up!” Steve opens his mouth, looking sad, “Tony- I would’ve told y-“ Tony glares, “When? When would you have told me? You had all the time in the world, Steve, and you didn’t.You didn’t say a damn thing- you never even told us that you were looking for Barnes! If you had just-“
“Tony, please-“
“If you had told us, we could have helped! That’s what a team fucking is, Steve! We WORK TOGETHER! We don’t run around, doing secret missions behind each other’s backs! This could have been avoided if you had listened to your own fucking preachings! Now look at where we are.”
Tony pauses to take a breath, voice softening. He looks at Steve with desperation, “We’re not a team, not anymore. Half the universe is wiped out, and- the- the kid is gone. Thanos won. We lost. And that’s all there is to it, now.” Tony turns back and bends down to pick up his gauntlet, falling silent.
“Can I speak?”
Tony shrugs one shoulder, turning the gauntlet over in his hands. Steve takes this as a yes.
“Bucky’s my friend- and I wanted to tell you, I really did- I was going to. Please, you gotta believe me, I was just trying to protect you-“
And that was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Tony whirls and launches the gauntlet at Steve, who barely dodges it in time. The next flying object narrowly misses him, too, though this time, it’s a screwdriver.
“DON’T BULLSHIT ME, ROGERS-“
He launches whatever object he can grab into the air, expression furious. Steve deflects them, eyes wide in shock, “Tony, stop!” Tony reaches for a wrench on his work bench, lobbing it at Steve, who ducks.
“Admit it! Just fucking- Say it, Rogers. You didn’t care- didn’t care what happened, so long as fucking Buckygot away- he mattered more than the team- more than me-“
“Tony, please-“
“YOU LEFT ME TO DIE-“
“Stop it, Tony-“
Tony turns to grab something else to launch at Steve, and in that split second, Steve lunges toward and captures Tony’s wrists, stilling his hands. He holds steady while Tony tries to wrench away, still screaming curses at the captain. Now that he’s closer, Steve can see that Tony’s started crying, can hear the breaths catching in his throat, the barely contained sobs that must hurt to hold back. After a few moments- and the realization that he can’t break free- Tony falls silent and glares up at Steve, but under the murderous expression, Steve can see the hurt in his eyes and feels the full impact of what he’s done. Steve frowns, releasing Tony’s wrists, only to quickly pull him into a hug. He feels Tony tense, body rigid against Steve, to the point he’s trembling. Steve simply reaches a hand up to sink into Tony’s hair, cradling his head against his own chest while the other arm remains wrapped around Tony’s shoulders. When he speaks, his voice is soft but heavy, weighed down by the sorrow and remorse that’s been crashing over him since Siberia.
“I’m sorry, Tony.”
He can feel Tony’s breath catch with another stifled sob, but he continues anyway.
“I know that doesn’t cut it, and I’m sorry for that, too. I just-“ He cuts off, because nothing he says will repair the damage he’s inflicted on the man he holds in his arms. His voice drops to a whisper, “I’m really, really sorry, Tony. If you can’t believe anything else I say, at least believe that.”
At that, Tony loosens a little, lifting his arms to wrap around Steve’s waist while he buries his face in Steve’s chest. He’s still trembling, and Steve realizes that he’s still crying, so he holds Tony that much tighter.
“You left for two years, Steve. Two years.”
“I know- I’m sorry.” It’s all he can say. Tony shifts a little, sniffling.
“I can’t forgive you- not- not yet. Not for awhile.”
“That’s okay. I don’t expect you to.”
Tony sighs, closes his eyes, murmurs, “Take me to bed. No funny business- I’m just tired, and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in two years, and I just-“ Steve shushes him softly, planting a kiss in his hair at the top of Tony’s head before scooping him up. He carries Tony from the now-messy shop, stepping over debris carefully. When they’re in the elevator, he presses another kiss to the top of Tony’s head, swaying ever so gently. Once the doors reopen, Steve is quick to step out and make his way to the bedroom, but he pauses once he’s inside, looking around. Everything was the same.
Tony is looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes, “Kept hoping you’d come back. Then, it just got too hard to look at. So I slept down in the shop, or in the living room, or in the spare room.” When Steve looks closer, he can see a thin layer of dust that covers most surfaces, and feels a pang shoot through his heart. He doesn’t dwell on this, though, simply steps forward and sets Tony on the bed before turning to rummage through some drawers, pulling out pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt, handing them to Tony. Said genius changes clothes quickly, tossing the dirty set in the hamper and slipping under the covers, closing his eyes.
Steve hovers halfway between the bed and the door for a few moments before he decides, turning towards the door with a soft, “Goodnight, Tony.” What he doesn’t expect is the muffled, “The hell do you think you’re goin’?” The blond turns back around, confused. “I was- I was gonna let you sleep?” Tony lifts a hand out from under the covers and beckons Steve over. When Steve obliges, Tony’s hand darts out to snag his shirt, pulling him down. Steve lets out a soft ‘oof!’ when he lands on top of Tony, who replies with a muttered, “Stay,” and an even softer, “please.” Steve hesitates, but nods before standing and removing his shirt, tossing it into the hamper before sliding into bed behind Tony. He’s uncertain of where the line is until Tony scoots back to press himself against Steve, and Steve realizes the line is where it’s always been, and that he really is being given a second chance. He wraps an arm around Tony’s waist and pulls him a little closer, breathing in his scent. He could cry right now- sure, Tony had thrown a few things at him earlier, and screamed a few unpleasant things- but this. This is what Steve loved about Tony. He wasn’t ready to forgive, but he wasn’t going to let Steve go without a second chance.
A few minutes pass, and Steve thinks Tony is asleep until he hears him whisper, “Please- never leave me again.” Steve holds him tighter, planting a feather-light kiss in his hair.
“Never.”