Son

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pw7fHCEnE8
(Track 1 - Main Titles - Duration: 3:07)

2019

They say that the universe is too vast and too ancient to have a concept of time. The years are mere seconds in the never-ending clock of reality. It ticks away endlessly, never ceasing, never beginning and never stopping. And the moments that define our lives-- a tenth of a second. And for that tenth of a second, in the big wide universe, was a perfect reality. For those that know the value of time and hold it in the palm of their hand like a precious jewel, comes bittersweet happiness.

Peter flipped through an old photo book, the pages stiff under his fingers. Smiles and laughs flashed by as he flipped them, back and forth, trying to capture in his mind an age gone by-- trying to live it, if only through a snapshot of a second in time. He flipped through photos of his parents’ wedding-- his father dipping his mother on the dance floor as onlookers smile happily. In some of the photos, they stare out at him, as if to say ‘we’re still here.’

At least, that’s what he liked to think. Some bitter part of him only saw their absence, and what could have been if they just hadn’t gotten on that plane that day. If Ben hadn’t been home, where he was shot. If he had stepped up and saved him. If he could somehow trade his life for his. If only.

Another part of him wants to believe what they said-- that they were always with him, in his heart, watching over him. All of those Sundays and Christmases and Easters spent at church, a place where they honored the dead as if they were standing right beside their families, praying with their heads down and going home to sleep and eat and play. . .

To live.

Instead, they could only bear the weight of their souls as they walked out of the church, leaving a previous life behind them as they looked towards the future. They always told you, to look towards the future and to never look back-- that, somehow, that makes everything okay.

So why do people have photo albums?

Perhaps it was because they didn’t want to let go-- they didn’t feel ready. They wanted to remember what that person looked like, in that tenth of a second, small and insignificant yet so beautiful in the universe of endlessness.

The universe had no shape and no center. The day that they discover the center of the universe is when they discover what we’ve been searching for all this time-- the souls of the forgotten and lost, forever memorialized in photos and videos.

Because the day they discover the center of the universe is the day they discover heaven.

As he flipped through the pages, pictures of his childhood passing by, he took in details that he otherwise couldn’t remember. The chocolate cake smeared all over his face during his first birthday party, the costume he was wearing during his preschool Christmas play, the countless piggy-back rides, Peter smiling wide in every photo.

What was most striking, however, was the look of pure adoration on his parent’s faces in every photo.

Sometimes he caught May or Tony looking at him like that-- a gaze that he had come to recognize as love and pride. He had come to trust it. And now, sitting on the floor in front of his closet, he saw it in his parent’s faces.

He wondered why he couldn’t remember them looking like that.

He scanned a page with several pictures from him and May dipping Easter eggs before realizing why. He had almost no memory of that day in April, or that Christmas play, or any of it. His most vivid memory of his parents was the day that they left, as cruel as it was.

He can only remember what their faces looked like when they were teary-eyed and had such an air of sadness. The pictures showed them happy and well and alive, but his memories betrayed his perception of what they’re supposed to look like.

Maybe holding on isn’t such a bad thing after all.

-----

2005

As Richard chased Peter through their backyard, Mary reclined back in the shade on the bench beneath the old oak tree. Sunspots danced all around, a slight breeze tickling the branches as birds sang. The earth was at peace.

In that tenth of a second, everything was perfect.

“I’m gonna get you!” Richard yelled as he chased the four year old around in circles. Peter was giggling madly, his arms failing as he tried to escape his father.

It was late summer, the heat cooling down, enough so that Mary could wear a sundress and a light cardigan. Richard was in khaki shorts and a t-shirt, and the small boy was adorned with overalls and a red shirt stained with popsicle juice. His light brown curls stuck wildly in all directions, his smile wide and his eyes crinkled as he laughed. A face that the woman would remember forever-- the face of pure, unadulterated joy.

The boy turned to try and run onto the concrete porch, but fell on his knees. He promptly started to cry, his bloody knees wobbling. Richard rushed to him, scooping up the crying child.

“Hey! Let’s go inside and get your favorite dinosaur band-aids, huh?” said Richard, and Mary stood up, rushing over to them and opening the back door.

It wasn’t long before the boy was sitting on the dryer, the window propped open and allowing a small breeze to grace the house. He stuck his fingers in his mouth as Mary cleaned his knees with disinfectant as Richard tried to make him laugh. Some well-placed funny faces and he didn’t feel a thing. Mary picked up a tissue and wiped her son’s face, and he scrunched it up in protest. She chuckled, “Sorry, baby. Do you want some lunch now?”

“Yeah!” He nodded eagerly, reaching out for her to pick him up. “Can I have the peanut butter? With no crusts?” He said it in such a small voice that Mary’s heart broke.

“Of course, baby.” She attacked him with kisses, and he giggled and tried to push her away. “Mommy, stop it!” He said. Richard attacked him too, peppering his cheek with kisses so he screamed with laughter.

As they sat on the kitchen counter, Peter munching away happily on carrot sticks, bananas and peanut butter and jelly squares, she contemplated her little family. Richard sat next to Peter, trying yet failing to shush him long enough to eat his food. She smiled at the interaction. He cared so much about their son that it made her chest ache with love. She had gotten used to the feeling. A family-- a life of your own-- does that sometimes.

They sat like that for a while, Peter eating his lunch and occasionally trying to feed his father. The man only chuckled and accepted his third baby carrot. “Thanks, bud.” Peter nodded happily as he munched, scraped knees not bothering him in the least as he knelt on the kitchen stool.

It wasn’t long after lunch that the boy passed out on the couch while watching Spongebob, snoring lightly. Mary watched him, content, at home. At peace.

Which was quickly interrupted by the ringing of the home phone. She cursed under her breath as Peter shifted in his sleep, face contorting in annoyance.

She quickly picked it up, the ringing silencing as she greeted the caller “Hello, this is Mary Parker.”

“Agent Fitzpatrick,” called a familiar voice from the other end. She froze. “Meet at the rendezvous point in eight hours.” They hung up.
Mary put the phone down with shaking hands, contemplating the words of one Nick Fury.

-------

Mary sat on her bed in her bedroom that night for what she felt might be the last time, folded clothes on her lap. They belonged in the suitcase next to her, but somehow her arms were no longer working.

“I don’t want to leave again,” she said quietly. Richard leaned against the closets door frame, studying her solemn expression.

Both of them had been agents of SHIELD for almost ten years. Neither of them had shied away from a difficult challenge, but everything changed when Peter was born. They still did missions here and there in addition to their jobs at Oscorp, but hurried home as soon as possible to their baby boy.

“I know,” he replied, just as quiet. He sensed her hesitation. This would be their most dangerous mission yet. They were being sent out to Germany to take down the Red Skull-- the head of HYDRA itself. On the way, they would be delivering Richard’s genetic research to the UN headquarters in London. This made for a dangerous trip-- precious cargo and a mission that could go wrong in so many ways.

It didn’t help that the inner circle of people who knew about the Red Skull mission were limited to five people. Nick Fury, Richard, Mary, and two pilots who would be dropping them over the base who were confined to secrecy.

Mary packed away the rest of her clothes, sighing as it clicked shut. Richard did the same, glancing out at the window, where it was currently storming after a day of summer heat. The sun usually set around nine, but because of the clouds it became much darker much faster at eight o’clock. “Do you think they’ll let us cancel? Doesn’t look like good flight weather.”

“I doubt it,” she heaved her suitcase up, “Besides, Malik’s in position. We need to catch him off guard, and this is the time to do it.” She paused, staring out at the window with him. “I’ll go wake Peter up.”

Richard fixed her with a sad stare. “I wish we didn’t have to do this to him.”

“I know, baby,” she wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Me neither.” They shared each other’s space, then, for a few minutes before pulling apart, Mary’s touch lingering on his shoulder before she walked down the hall to Peter’s room.

She quietly opened the door to see the boy sleeping peacefully, his chest rising and falling quietly. He was sprawled awkwardly across the bed, one leg sticking out from under the sheets, where she could see the band-aid from earlier on his knee.

She sighed, knowing that, someday, if he ever became like his parents, he’d be getting far more than cuts and bruises.

Mary moved quietly through the room, careful to avoid any of the colorful toys littered on the floor, and stood over his bed, not wanting to disturb his slumber. She kissed his forehead and lightly shook him awake.

“Mama?” He questioned, rubbing at his eyes with his tiny fists.

“Hey baby,” Mary cooes, “We have to go to Aunt May and Uncle Ben’s house, okay? You’re gonna have a sleepover!”

The boy’s eyes light up despite his groggy state. Mary looked sad as she watched his oblivious stare. He was so young. So innocent. So pure.

“Honey? We have to go.” Her husband’s hushed voice and a gentle hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts.

“Right.” She picked up the suitcase they almost always kept packed for Peter, putting in a few stray things before clicking it shut. Richard picked the boy up, and the family of three were on their way.

The drive to Ben and May’s house was short. It always was. Mary held Peter close instead of putting him in his carseat, and he was already drifting back to sleep, snuggling into her embrace. Mary held him tight, caressing his hair as she tried to forget what they were about to do.

They made it there relatively quickly, and they ran into the apartment building as fast as they could, rain pouring.

Once they reached the floor they were looking for, Ben was already there and waiting.

“Hey bud!” Ben greeted after they had walked into the apartment, setting a now-awake Peter on the ground to take his Uncle’s hand. “Let’s go sleep on the couch, huh? You can pick out a movie if you want!” The little boy nodded excitedly as they headed over to the living room.

May stayed with her brother and sister in-law, giving them both a hug and a kiss and saying their goodbyes. Richard and Mary acknowledged Ben with hugs and then walked over to where Peter was sitting, and crouched down to his level. “Hey, Pete, your mom and I have to go, but we’ll see you soon, okay?” Peter nodded dutifully. “We love you so, so much.” Richard hugged him and placed a kiss on his forehead, Mary moving in to do the same, holding onto him longer than she should have, because he began to squirm. She chuckled, “We love you baby. See you soon.”

“I love you too, Mama!” He said, squealing. He gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek before she got up and walked over to the door. Her eyes were sad, yet all the same pretended that all was right with the world as they walked out the door.

“We’ll be back in a couple of days at the most,” said Richard.

“I know you will,” said Ben, “See ya later, you jerk.” He smiled and the brothers embraced.

As they walked down the steps of the old apartment building, Mary looked at where their window was with wistful longing.

She couldn’t know, however, that their perfect world was near shattering to pieces.