Breaking Iron Will

Peter had left the Avengers with the promise he would try his best to make the time heist a reality. He had gone straight home and to his lab pulling out long forgotten notebooks that he had stashed in an old dented workbench.  Leafing through the pages Peter took a moment to run a somber hand over his dad’s faded handwriting. His dad had been a genius with this type of science and even though Peter was no slouch himself this wasn’t exactly in his wheelhouse. Who better to learn from than his old man. Peter smiled as his eyes scanned over the aged paper and the dots began to connect.  Snapping the book shut Peter walked over to his hologram projector and tapped the screen to wake the machine up.  The room was filled with the sound of his fingers tapping against the monitor as he typed in his dad’s formula.  “Even in death you are still taking me to school.” 

~ 1 Hour Later

“Ok Karen, run one last simulation in the shape of a mobius strip inverted.” He flipped the model calculating the data in his head. Peter scrubbed a weary hand over his tired face as he stared at the holographic model hanging above him.  

“Processing…”

So far so good.  Peter grabbed for his fifth cup needing the sweet relief of caffeine to perk up his lethargic brain. He sipped at the liquid as he watched the processing model when an idea popped into his mind.  “Ok, I can value that particle factoring in spectral decomposition.”

Karen evaluated his suggestion and reported in a happy voice. “Model rendered.  Model Successful.”

Peter dropped his coffee to the table and collapsed in his chair. “Shit!” He honestly hadn’t expected this to work and if he was being honest with himself, he was banking on it to not work. Peter leaned on his knees as he buried his hands in his hair, indecision flowing through him.  He could bury this research in a box and sink it into the ocean. No one needed to know that he had created time travel.

 If no one knew nothing needed to change.  Right?  He had a good thing going, he had money, a career, and a purpose, he couldn’t think of much more that he needed.  

“ I shouldn’t be alive, unless it was for a reason, I know what I have to do, and I know it is right.” Tony’s voice echoed through Peter’s head, drawn up from a long-repressed memory. Peter had heard the stories from Pepper many times. His father had finally decided to take actions against his corrupt company and those words had convinced her that being Iron Man was something he had to do.  The first time he had heard that story it had stirred up his own desire to be a hero and give his life a greater purpose.  Somewhere he had lost that desire to fight for really anyone but himself but now that annoying little voice was telling him otherwise.

Peter groaned and sat up straight in his chair, his eyes finding the framed photo of his dad that sat on his desk.  Grabbing the photo, he ran a gentle finger over Tony’s face.  Time had done little to ease the lonely ache in his heart.  He couldn’t help but wonder what his dad would say and do or how he would have handled Thanos.  “This is all your fault you know; I could turn back now and never look back if it wouldn’t be for you.”  Peter could practically hear his dad’s amused snort followed by some kind of witty retort.  “I know, I know.” Peter conceded, setting the frame down and pulling out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found the Captain’s number and sighed.  “You’d never let me rest until I did.”

He hit call.
~
Natasha sat in the observation room deep in thought, her eyes trained on Clint as he prepared for the first-time travel run.  Natasha could see the misery that shrouded her friend and how his grief had practically transformed him into entirely new person.  She had heard the chattering and seen the reports, Clint was working outside the law and killing criminals.  At first Natasha had been angry, she couldn’t understand how Clint could follow in Peter’s footsteps.  She didn’t want to believe her friend had that kind of darkness inside him, but the evidence was impossible to ignore.

“I see you found him.”

Natasha jumped at the unexpected voice behind her.  Peter stood in the doorway holding a bundle of wiring with a slight smirk on his face. “You knew where he was the entire time, didn’t you?”
Peter shrugged before he tossed the wires aside and picked up his computer.  “Of course, I did.  I know where all my employees are at any given time.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

Peter blinked.  “Cause you didn’t ask.” He stated as if it was obvious.

Natasha gaped at the man’s indifference.  “Do you take anything serious anymore?”

Peter paused for a moment as if he was considering her question a finger pressed to his lips.  “Nope!” He announced with a pop to the p. 

Natasha crossed her arms and hugged herself.  She needed to tuck her hands away to resist the urge to punch the man in front of her.  “Sometimes I swear you are more monster than human.”

Peter cocked his head as his eyes pinned the assassin where she stood. It was true that not much in the world could make Peter feel anymore.  He took pride in having very little emotional connections, it made life easier.  Logically he knew that Natasha’s words should make him angry but all he felt was acceptance.  “I am a product of my environment, it’s as simple as that.”

The assassin shook her head.  “You kill because you can and with no remorse. How can you be so nonchalant about that?”   
Peter blinked slightly irritated.  “You call me inhuman, yet I agreed to help you, I didn’t have too. Don’t forget that there is nothing really in this for me, I have no one waiting for me.” Natasha’s face tightened but Peter pretended not to notice.  He grabbed his forgotten USB cord and held it up.  “Can’t time travel without this.”

“Peter wait…”

Peter held up a hand to stop a half-hearted apology, he really hated those.  “A little advice, don’t kick the psychopath that’s helping you.  It’s a little counterproductive don’t you think?” With a quick wink Peter stepped lightly out of the room and closed the door, leaving Natasha to contemplate his words.
~
Peter heard the click of the observation rooms door but didn’t bother to acknowledge Natasha’s arrival.  He had a job to do and the sooner it was finished the sooner he could leave these annoyances in his rearview mirror.

“Alright Clint, I will be sending you back four years.  You’ll be gone approximately five seconds here, but it’ll feel longer to you.” Peter tapped on his tablet as he explained.  

Clint walked into the center of the humming platform pulling at the neck of his tight red and white suit. “Get in, get out, gotcha.” Pressing the button behind his ear allowing his mask to crawl over his face.  Clint flashed Peter a thumbs up when he was ready, and Peter began the countdown.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

The room flashed bright forcing the heroes to cover their eyes.  “He’s gone!” Steve announced in awe. Peter ignored him instead counting the seconds in his head.

“Preparing for return in 3, 2, 1.”  Pressing the button his time machine rumbled back to life and a second later Clint flashed back into the room.  Cool it actually worked!  Steve and Natasha instantly ran to their kneeling friend. 

“It worked.” Clint huffed out.  Peter could see him clutching a child’s baseball mitt to his chest.  Peter recognized the mitt from a family photo Clint carried.  It belonged to his daughter.  Crap.  He had only been about 50% sure this would work and now there was the proof staring him directly in the face.  This was real now; they were actually going to do this.  Peter’s thoughts drifted to the stones the music instantly surging to the forefront of his mind. The only good thing with this working out would be getting rid of the stupid music box in his head.  Fine, I’ll answer your stupid call.
~
After much discussion and a few mental breakdowns, the team was able to pinpoint what time period they needed to return to.  Peter was part of the recon team that was headed to the tower, Natasha and Clint were headed to Vormir, Rocket and Thor would collect the Ether, Rhodey and Nebula would find the Power Stone, and Bruce would retrieve the Time Stone.  No problem, it would be totally easy.

Peter stood with the others in a large circle and pulled at the neck of his suit, wishing to be wearing anything else.  The other members wore the exact same suit, Peter really hated the matching game, but Scott had insisted saying it will protect them during the time travel.  Whatever, he felt ridiculous. 

“Alright, we’ve went over the plan. We’ve got one shot.”  

Peter rolled his eyes.  Oh, great here comes the pep talk. “Really Cap? You’re laying it on a bit thick.”

Rocket nudged Scott excitedly.  “Hey you were right! He’s amazing at this!”

“I know right!”

Steve ignored all of them and stuck his fist out into the middle of the circle.  “Whatever it takes.”

The other members followed his lead.  “Whatever it takes.”

Peter had long since spaced from the group and was startled back when Thor nudged him. “What?!”  All eyes were on him and he noticed the fists in the center of the circle.  

“You need to put your fist in the circle.” Thor whispered unhelpfully.

“Oh, you’re serious.  We’re really doing this.”  Peter sighed and halfheartedly flung his fist out and completed the circle. “Whatever, let’s just get this over with.”  They stood there for about thirty seconds, which was thirty seconds to long for Peter.  “Are we waiting for the dramatic music to play or can we go now.”
Rocket snorted as the rest of the team groaned, the moment was effectively killed.  The heroes split into their teams as the machine began to whirl to life.  “See you all in a minute!”  Natasha smiled before her mask flowed over her face.

Peter’s sarcastic retort died in his throat when he looked at her.  The space around Natasha glowed, golden tendrils danced of her skin like sun rays.  She was almost blinding to look at but what bothered him the most was no one seemed to notice her shining like a star.  

“3, 2…” 

Peter panicked and lunged forward as he tried to stop her. Unfortunately, he never got the chance because in the next second they were zapped away.   
His vision snapped to black and his gut tightened into a massive knot.  Just when Peter thought for certain he was dead the world around him exploded into color.  Before he had time to take in his surroundings Peter felt himself get yanked harshly to the side.

“Hey!”

A large chunk of concrete pummeled the spot where he had just been standing. Steve eyed him pointedly as he released his arm.  “You’re welcome.”
Steve walked away to join the other’s leaving Peter to take in his surroundings.  The sound of terrified people and screaming aliens echoed throughout the city.  The air was heavy with the smell of blood and dust from the collapsing buildings. Peter remembered watching this battle from the safety of the airplane. He had been so young and terrified.  He remembered gripping Pepper’s hand like it was a lifeline as he sobbed in terror when Tony had flown the bomb into the wormhole.   Standing in the streets and experiencing the battle was completely different than watching it on T.V. but he wasn’t a little kid anymore and death wasn’t a foreign concept anymore.

“Peter, did you get all that?” Cap called, pulling Peter from his thoughts.

“Of course, good to go.”
~
“Alright Cap, things look to be wrapped up.”

“Ok, I’m headed to the elevator now.

Peter let go of his web and gently tiptoed through the broken glass window of the tower.  Casting a quick look around he darted behind the pillared wall so he would be out of sight from the past Avengers.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’ll have that drink now.”  Peter heard Loki say quietly.  He could see the Avengers standing over the beaten and bruised demigod.  He had heard about this battle so many times, but it was surreal to know be a witness to it.

“Alright, get him to his feet.  We can all stand around posing up a storm later.”  Tony smirked, turning away from the demigod.  Peter felt his heart drop to the floor, there was his dad in the flesh, alive and well.  He wanted nothing more than to rush forward and gather him into a hug, he wanted the man to run his hand through his hair while singing his favorite Italian lullaby,  and tell him it was over and there was nothing more to be afraid of.  But he couldn’t do that, this Tony didn’t know this Peter, his Peter was currently on a jet with Pepper.  Peter swallowed thickly and blinked rapidly against the tears that were threatening to spill.

“What’s the status Peter?” Steve buzzed through the coms.

Peter cleared his throat.  “Nothing other than I just realized that suit did nothing for your ass, Cap.”

Peter could practically feel Steve blush through the coms.  “Well no one asked you to look.” He said almost defensively.

Scott laughed from Peter’s shoulder.  “You look great Cap, as far as I’m concerned that is America’s ass!” The tiny man said with a salute to the Captain.

The elevator ding alerted Peter to more incoming.  He could see Rumlow and other hydra agents exit and head over to Natasha.  

“I’ll take that for you.” Rumlow offered.  

Natasha smiled and handed over the scepter gladly.  “Be my guest.”

Peter clenched a fist to control his anger; he had almost forgotten that Hydra was still under the disguise of Shield.  It was hard to see the team be so buddy-buddy with this people when he knew the trouble that they would cause them. The agent took the scepter and swiftly placed it into a sliver briefcase.  He continued to watch as the team gathered up what they needed and headed to the elevator. 

“You ready Scott?”

The tiny man on his shoulder was bouncing from foot to foot.  “Oh yeah, I was born ready!  Give me your best shot!”

“You asked for it.”  Peter grinned as he lined up his hand and flicked Scott as hard as he could.  The Ant Man soared over the room and appeared to land squarely on the briefcase that his father was currently sitting on.

“Made it!”  Scott called over the coms allowing Peter to take a breath of relief.  One down and one to go.

Peter put a hand to his ear.  “Ok Cap, Scott is in position. They are in the elevator headed down.  Be aware that the hulk is taking the stairs. I’m going after the Mind Stone.”

“Copy that, be careful.”

Peter rolled his eyes at that.  “Thanks mom, I’ll do my best.”

Peter glanced at the elevator to check the floor numbers and mentally calculated the best floor to meet the hydra agents on. Great now he would have to take the stairs too.  Ripping the door open Peter sprinted down 6 flights conscious of the fact that if he missed this elevator, he would miss his best chance at the stone.  As soon as his foot hit the landing Peter flew through the door and skidded to a stop at the elevator door and punched the button.

He closed his eyes and waited.  Peter focused to slow his breathing and find his calm.  He allowed his mind to travel to its peaceful place, the place he always went to distract himself from the horrible things he was about to do. He curled and uncurled his fingers and shook out his legs.  This fight would be quick the hardest part would be to walk away without killing them.

The elevator chimed and his eyes flew open.  The agents didn’t know what hit them, as soon as the doors slide open Peter was on top of them.  His webs pinned the front to agents to the wall and a quick kick to their faces left them unconscious.  Peter roundhouse kicked Rumlow and sent him flying into the wall denting it in the process. He grabbed the tazer that he had lifted off Nat and stuck it to the fourth man’s throat leaving him a shaking mess on the floor.  

The man with case struggled to pull out his weapon but Peter was on him before he could so much as remove it from his holster.  Peter grabbed his arm and twisted until the bones in the man’s wrist snapped.  The man howled in pain the sound bringing a grin to Peter’s face. Grabbing the suitcase, he viciously swung it up clocking the man in the chin.  The man crumpled to the ground along with his unconscious teammates.  The elevator came to a stop and Peter exited.  He turned to survey his opponents and snorted when he saw them in a crumpled heap. “Hail Hydra.”  

Gripping the case Peter took off at a run to the designated rendezvous. “Cap, I have the scepter and I’m on my way.”

“Copy that, we will meet you as soon as possible.  Hold tight.”

Peter continued down the block until he saw the white car.  He quickly glanced over his shoulder to make sure that he wasn’t followed, once he was satisfied that he wasn’t Peter hurried to the car and climbed inside.  He sat for a moment and drummed his fingers on the side of the case.  The melody in his head was louder than before and he knew the stone was calling to him.  What would it hurt if he opened the case and look at the stone?  He was by himself so now would be the perfect chance to try and understand what this song was about.

“Don’t bitch out now Stark.”  Peter grumbled to himself. Gripping the buckles Peter swiftly unlatched the locks and popped open the lid.  There it was ,the Mind Stone.  Peter gasped at the beauty of the stone. It glowed with an ethereal light that matched the mystic melody playing in his head.  An instinctual urge commanded Peter’s shaky hand to reach out and touch it but as soon as he did his mind was plucked out of this reality and shoved into another.
~
Peter sucked in a harsh breath to ease his screaming lungs as he opened his eyes, he noticed the surroundings were clear and bright.  He was back in the tower, but it wasn’t the tower he remembered. Everything was overly defined and obnoxiously bright.  “Well Toto, I don’t think he are in Kansas anymore.”  Peter muttered the hair on his arms standing straight up.  He walked down the hallway that would lead to the living room as he rounded the corner his stomach dropped to the floor.

“Peter, what are you doing?! Peter stop!”  Tony yelled.

Peter could see his dad yelling at another Peter.  That version of himself was dressed in a venom suit that was smeared with blood and gore.  The dark Peter had Tony on his knees Tony’s face covered in blood and bruises while Peter was smiling clearly enjoying this moment.

That Peter reached out gripping Tony by the hair cranking his head to the side.  “I won’t stop, I won’t ever stop, not until my job is finished.” Tony whimpered as another punch cracked against his cheek. “What’s wrong daddy-o, are you to weak to fight me?”

“Stop it!  What are you doing?”  Peter yelled as he tried to rush forward but his limbs were frozen in place.  He couldn’t move to intervene and neither that Peter nor Tony turned to acknowledge him.  He was just a witness to this vision and Peter was terrified to see what it had in store.

Tony spit out a glob of blood before turning his large sorrowful brown eyes to his son. “I guess I am.  I’m just sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
Peter let out a deep laugh.  “Can’t you see I don’t need any protection.  I am more powerful than I have ever been!  I have everything I could ever need!”

Tony sighed as a tear tracked down his abused face.  “And that’s how I know I failed you.”

 Peter’s eyes narrowed and he kneed his father in the chest.  “What do you mean by that old man?”

Tony wheezed as his chest tightened, he could feel his heart stutter at the abuse.  “It doesn’t matter anymore; I know what you came here to do, and I won’t stop you.  Just do it but no matter what happens know that I love you.”

For a moment Tony could see the mask on Peter’s face falter but he wasn’t foolish to think his son would change his mind.  Peter raised his fist and Tony locked his eyes with Peter’s.  “What is it you say? Hail Hydra.”  

Peter shrieked as he watched the other version of himself bury his fist deep in his father’s chest and rip out his dad’s heart.  The blood dripped steadily from his hands as the organ stuttered out a few last weak beats before stopping all together.  Dark Peter released his dad and Tony slumped lifelessly to the floor.  

“Did you like the show?”

Peter raised his horrified eyes to see his evil twin grinning at him.  “You killed him! How could you?”

The other Peter shrugged before carelessly dropping the heart to the floor.  “He was a means to an end.  His death secured my position of power, no one will dare question my loyalty now.”

“You’re loyalty? Are you insane?” Peter screamed in rage.

Other Peter raised a questioning eyebrow wiping his hands on his suit.  “Oh please, you can’t be this surprised.  You kill people for a living, you and I aren’t that different.  You run your organization and I am a head of Hydra; you could make the argument that we are the same person.”  

Peter wanted to vomit as the other version of himself laughed darkly.  “You’re a liar, this is nothing more than a horrible vision and I want no part of it!”  

Dark Peter’s laughter cut off and before Peter could blink, he was thrown roughly to the floor with his doppelgangers foot planted painfully on top of his chest.  “You’re wrong! I am you; I am the version of you that you have been flirting with for years.  You could easily become me if you don’t listen!”

Peter struggled under his dark twin’s weight.  “I don’t know what you are talking about!  You killed him!”

Dark Peter removed his foot and pulled Peter to his feet.  “No Peter you are killing him. You are killing him every day you ignore me.” Peter’s mind whirled in confusion and he was just about to deny his crazy twin when he felt sticky moisture on his hands.  He screamed as he saw his bloody hands gripping his father’s heart that had been torn in two.  He quickly dropped the heart and vomited.

“Stop fighting your true nature Peter Stark or all of this.” The doppelganger lifted his hands and motioned to the blood and gore in front of them. “Will come to pass.  Our own anger creates our own worst fears.” 

Peter stood and  brought his fist back to punch the other Peter but before he could Dark Peter clapped his hands together.  Thunder rolled and when Peter opened his eyes again, he was seated in the back of the abandoned car again.  He cursed and dropped the mind stone back in the case and snapped the lid shut.  His heart hammered as he rubbed at his hands trying to erase the feeling of his father’s blood dripping from them.  Fuck the stones and fuck the music in his head, he was never living through that kind of hell again.
~
As soon as Peter’s feet hit solid ground, he ripped his helmet off and bolted down the stairs.  He was desperate to put as much distance between himself and those accursed Stones.  He couldn’t shake that vision of himself murdering his father of his hands buried deep in his father’s chest.  He remembered the feeling id his father’s still beating heart in his bloody palms that would haunt him forever.  If that is what the stones wanted to tell him they could go stick it.  Peter wanted no part of it.

Before Peter could make it all they way out of the room a sad question stopped him in his tracks.  “Clint, where’s Nat?” 

Clint knelt on the metal floor his shoulder quaking with unspoken grief. “She’s gone.  She traded her life for the stone.”  Clint uncurled his fingers to reveal the bright yellow stone.  Tiny rays of luminescent light danced within the orb giving it an ethereal presence.

 “A soul for a soul.” Peter whispered to himself. He thought back to right before they left, and he saw Natasha glowing in gold.  That must have been a warning of her upcoming sacrifice.

Clint stood on shaky legs.  “This better work or she died for nothing.” He tossed the stone to Peter.  “Time to make our own gauntlet.”

Peter’s reflexes reacted before his brain could scream at him to stop.  As soon as the stone landed in his hand his body was flooded with warmth. Visions of Natasha and a green woman, Gamora, and other people he didn’t recognize but he knew all their names, flashed through his mind.  It was like all these people were in his mind, he could feel their presence, no that wasn’t right, he could feel their souls.  Each soul pulsated within in the stone, eager to share their story with Peter.  Images of their deaths crowded his mind; he couldn’t handle all the pain and betrayal.  The immensity of their emotions felt like a ten thousand weight that was crushing.

Peter pulled back from the vision with all his strength. Snapping his eyes open he found Bruce and quickly tossed him the stone. “Here take this.” 

Bruce easily caught the stone tossed his way.  “Peter are you ok?” You look a bit pale.”

“I’m fine.” He quickly reassured. “I’ll see you in the lab.”  

The team watched Peter rush out of the room with slight confusion.  “What’s with him?”  Scott asked.

Steve shrugged.  “We ran into Tony during the mission.  He didn’t say much but I know it affected him.”

“Maybe you all can better understand what he’s going through.  You’ve all lost loved ones and you are doing whatever you can to get them back. He’s not as crazy as you all make him out to be.” The archer left the room leaving the rest to ponder his words.