Tony Stark and King T'Challa of Wakanda are on their way to a massive UN peace summit. While T'Challa had offered the use of Wakandan tech, Tony had politely declined, and insisted they take Stark Industries fastest and newest jet. All would be well, except "the kids," as Steve Rogers has taken to calling Shuri and Peter, had begged to come along, using the claims that it would be "educational and a lesson in how world politics and foreign policy operates."
Tony couldn't refuse the puppy dog eyes.
The only problem is that for the past hour, Peter and Shuri have been giggling madly to themselves, heads bent over Peter's phone, a pair of headphones shared between them. Tony has no idea what they're watching, but every now and then he'll catch fragments of words or phrases, and it's like a completely different language, and never has Tony been more aware of the age gap between his generation and Peter's.
T'Challa remains impassive, sitting on the other side of the jet, calmly looking over some documents. He seems to have completely tuned out his sister and Peter in favor of getting some work done.
All of a sudden, there's a discontented sigh from the teens. "My phone's dead," Peter announces sadly, beginning to dig around in his bag for a charge cord.
"Like Miss Keisha?" Shuri asks.
"Nah, man, she fuckin' dead," Peter says casually.
"Language, Peter," Tony admonishes, completely baffled.
"Sorry, Mr. Stark," Peter apologizes quickly. Shuri giggles.
"If you wanted to learn about our foreign policies, Shuri," T'Challa says in his quiet way, "why don't you and Mr. Parker read these through for me and tell me what they're about?" It's more an order than a suggestion, and as he passes the papers over to the kids, Tony catches a hint of a smirk on Peter's face. "Can you read this for me, Shuri?" T'Challa asks and neither kid misses a beat.
"What up, I'm Jared, I'm nineteen, and I never fuckin' learned how to read," they both announce in unison.
There's a solid ten seconds of silence, while Shuri grins at the blank expression on her brother's face. Tony feels a little bit of his soul die. It's a vine. Of course it's a fucking vine. Peter conned him into watching twenty minutes of "Vines that water my crops" once and he's never going to get that time back.
"Shuri," T'Challa finally says, rolling the R in his little sister's name, "what kind of nonsense is this?"
"Don't you mean 'Wakanda' nonsense is this?" Peter practically hollers at the king of an immensely powerful nation.
T'Challa turns dark, impenetrable eyes on the teenager, and Peter wilts. "I mean, Mr. T'Challa King sir."
"Peter," Tony finally says, "please stop with the vines. Otherwise, I will be forced to throw myself from this plane."
Peter looks at the floor, and Tony feels gratified. The kid is listening. When Peter finally looks up at beat later, however, it's with a torn expression. The kid clearly has something he wants to say, but he doesn't want to get into trouble.
"What do you want to say, Pete?" Tony asks. T'Challa leans back in his seat, and raises an eyebrow at Tony.
"Mr. Stark," Peter begins slowly, the faintest vestiges of a shit-eating grin beginning to show on his face, "are you saying that if I make one more vine reference-"
Peter pauses, and T'Challa drops his head into his hands, clearly knowing what's coming next.
"Are you saying that if I make one more vine reference," Peter finishes, "you'll yeet yourself out of this plane?"
Tony has no words, no comeback, nothing to say. The kid has won, and there is nothing Tony can do about it. He sits back in his seat, and stares blankly out the window.
"Peter," Shuri says quietly, "when will you learn that your actions have consequences?"
Tony can actually hear Peter's megawatt grin from here.