If you ask shatterstar now, he'll tell you that it happened after the benjamine russell incident. So basically he'll lie.
When he first realised it, was pretty soon after meeting rictor...he just never had a name for it before said incident, but admitting he had those feelings before his so called awakening, will result in questions he just dosent have answers for. The point is he remembers,vividly the moment it happened, he dreams about it sometimes. He suposes becuse the moment was so cinematic its all but seared inside his brain.
He remembers...a cold night, rictor's restlessness, his need to dance,watching him turn on the radio
the sound of rain and musical beat playing..the song seemed sad..but happy...emotions still caused confusion
It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
these words were so strange yet powerful within him
his thoughts were interupted, "dance with me"not a command, said with a nervousness that was surely catching
he...knew how to dance, really he did..but this didnt feel like danceing, with star's arms around rictor and his around star...just holding eachother..and swaying
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway
At that moment their eyes met he wanted to look away,..but he didn't..he was lost
I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you
faces close,bodies leaning in as if to share a secret..when it happened...the kiss..it was everything television told him to expect, and at the same time he was still woefully unprepared for the tidal wave of feelings that came with.
He would later come to understand that feeling very well..
I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life
This was the moment..the moment he knew what this feeling was even if he couldn't put a name to it..becuse he did need rictor more than anything in his life,he did want him more than anything,he...he did miss him more than anyone ...he might even..
thoughts interrupted by a rough shove
...He dosent like to remember this part.
The point is he knows without a shadow of a doubt that was the moment...it ended badly but...it dosent change the outcome, or the aha moment he had,
knowing and understanding these feelings even to such a small degree released some axiety, he just wished it had the same effect for rictor.
So if you ask him when he fell in love with rictor,the honest answer...he just always knew