The idea of sharing a bed with Maria again was… spectacular.
It was comfort and it was home, and it was the first time, in six years, that everything felt… right.
But she insisted on taking the couch.
Something about not moving too fast, something about not wanting to assume that she could just waltz back into Maria’s life and occupy the same position she once did.
Something about getting to know each other again.
But she was also still having those nightmares, and she didn’t want to burden Maria with them.
The ones she’d assumed would stop once Talos had unlocked smatterings of her old memories.
But no.
No, they hadn’t stopped, and now, if anything, they were worse.
Because now she could see the mentor whose blood ran through her veins murdering her mentor whose integrity and courage ran through her soul.
Now her dreams were a landscape of Lawson, Mar-vel, taking her last breath over, and over, and over again.
And she saw, now, the man who was actually responsible, stalking toward her through the smoke, through the ruins of a life once lived.
In some particularly horrific versions of the nightmare, now, her brain tried to process old memories with Maria, even while it was trying to process Lawson’s death and her kidnapping.
These were the ones she’d wake up from with yells and protective flails, sitting bolt upright and panting until she reminded herself that Maria was safe, Maria was here. That Monica was safe, that Monica was here.
“Hey, soldier, you’re safe, you’re here. You’re safe, Carol. You’re home with me, with Monica. Everyone’s safe. Hm?”
Carol nodded distantly, but her eyes were still wild. “Hey. Where’s your head at?” Maria whispered, her eyes watching Carol’s, watching her whole body. Her hands stayed to themselves, but it looked like she wanted them all over Carol. Holding her, soothing her, like Carol had for her all those years ago.
But Carol was still mostly asleep, still in the throws of her nightmare.
And apparently, she’d yelled in her sleep enough to wake Maria, all the way in her bedroom.
Again.
She hoped Monica was still sleeping.
“Sorry. I’m alright. I am, I’m good. Nightmare, is all.”
“Same one?”
“Variation.”
“You yelled.”
“You’re a light sleeper.”
“You’re a loud screamer.”
They both gulped and averted their eyes at the accidental implication. Maria nodded to herself, then, like she was deciding something.
“Alright, up.”
“Gonna make me drop and give you fifty?” Carol blinked and tried to rub the wakeness of this world back into her eyes.
“No. Gonna make you come to bed with me.”
Carol was wide awake, now. Her eyes sparkled.
“Are you now?”
“If I’m just gonna come out here every time I hear you having a nightmare anyway, might as well make the trip shorter for me.”
“So, you want me to sleep in your bed to make your life more convenient.”
Maria glanced at the ceiling like she was considering Carol’s logic.
“Yeah. Basically.”
“Anything to help make your life easier.”
Maria rolled her eyes, but she smiled when Carol took the hand she offered.
Her breath hitched when Carol easily, familiarly, intertwined their fingers as Maria led her to the bedroom she knew so well.
“Still prefer the left side?” Carol asked.
“Still prefer hogging all the covers?” Maria returned.
Carol scoffed, a look of mock offense all over her face. “Duh?”
Maria laughed as she laid down, as she held a tunnel of blankets open for Carol to crawl into.
“Wanna talk about it?” she asked as Carol settled in, eyes on the ceiling, both their hearts racing.
“About being in bed together or about my nightmares?”
“Either. But I meant your nightmares.”
Carol turned so they were face to face, chest to chest.
She reached a slow, tentative hand out to Maria’s face. She asked a question with her eyes, and Maria nodded in response.
They both sighed with long awaited relief as Carol’s fingers caressed Maria’s cheek, tucked a stray bit of hair back into her scarf.
“It’s like my brain’s processing my memories, but jumbling them in the effort. You weren’t there, in the crash. But now my brain keeps putting you there, and it -”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. You needed me.”
Her voice was small, and her eyes, even smaller.
Carol felt her heart break.
“No. I’m glad you weren’t. He would have… no. No.” It’s her turn to cup Maria’s face with her hand. “No. You were exactly where you needed to be. With our - your - with Monica.”
“Technically I was on comms, on base.”
“Yeah, but you got to come back home to her because you weren’t in the crash.”
“But I am? In your nightmares?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just, a replay. Like, a loop. Lawson bleeding like that, shuddering like that.” Carol shuddered herself, and Maria scooted closer to her.
“I’ve got you, you hear me?” she whispered, and Carol nodded, because she knew how true it was.
“I’ve got you, too,” a small voice sounds from the doorway. “Did you have another nightmare, Auntie Carol? I know Mom’s got it under control, but I thought I’d check.”
“You wanna check by snagging the warmest part of the blankets between your mom and me, don’t you, Lieutenant Trouble?”
“You remembered!” Monica beamed as she scampered toward the bed, crawling into the exact spot Carol had specified. Her constant pride and excitement whenever Carol remembered another little tidbit from their past together glowed in both Maria and Carol’s hearts.
“I sure did.” She lets Monica snuggle directly under her chin, just like she did six years ago. She was smaller, then, but it felt just as familiar, now.
“You okay?” Maria mouthed over Monica’s head, and Carol nodded softly.
“Perfect,” she mouthed back, wrapping her arms around Monica until they draped over Maria as well.
Maybe something good could come from those nightmares after all.