I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I’m sorry I’m not what you would have wanted in a partner, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy. I held my love for you close to my heart, you made me so incredibly happy and I’m sorry I couldn’t do the same for you. Im sorry I’m only letting you know now, I didn’t have the courage to get shot down or lose you. I love you Tony, with all my heart.
-Stephen Strange
He sat there and clutched the note.
This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair.
He rocked back and forth, sobs racking his body. He screamed, he screamed loud enough for everyone else to hear him. He didn’t care.
His face was covered in tears saliva and mucus. He sobbed for hours clutching himself as if trying to keep from falling apart.
He was distant the passing days, no longer his snarky sassy self. No light behind those brown eyes.
He cried himself to sleep every night. If only he’d let him know, things could’ve been different they could’ve been happy together, gotten married, had a family, grown old together.
He could’ve prevented this he should’ve been there should have protected him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He stood on the edge of the cliff the note clutched in his hand.
Just one step one step and he could be with him. Only one.
Tony smiled “I’ll be with you again soon”
He took a breath and stepped forward.
He should’ve felt scared, but he felt at peace for the first time in a while. Soon it would be over he’d be with the person he truly loved. He felt the wind whip at his face as he fell,the smell of the ocean water becoming stronger as he neared it. He closed his eyes finally he’d be happy.
He waited for what he’d thought would be some sort of pain,an acknowledgement from his body of what happened but nothing came.
He tried to take in as much as he could without opening his eyes. The sound of the waves crashing together and on the rocks was gone. Instead replaced by low murmurs of a voice he couldn’t place immediately. The temperature had changed to a warmer one and instead of a falling sensation it was more of a suspended one.
He opened his eyes, already brimming with tears.
A man came into view “stark”
Tony lowered his head “why would you stop me wong?”
The man sighed “why would you attempt such a stupid thing?”
Tony sniffed he couldn’t help the steady stream of tears now. “I-i. I can’t do this. He’s gone. He’s-“ he choked on his tears “I miss him. I ca-n’t st-o-o-op miss-ing him”
Wong scrubbed his face and gave the man a sad look. He lowered Tony so he wasn’t floating in the air.
“Stark.. Anthony. I know how difficult it is but... but this isn’t a solution. The world still needs you.”
“The world needed him!” Tony shouted, face red and wet. “Why couldn’t it have been me” he slapped his chest “the world needs him more, he deserved to live! It’s not fair!”
Wong closed his eyes. “The world is not fair, it plays out in mysterious ways and we must figure out how to move on and push forward”
Tony wiped his cheeks “I don’t want to” he sounded like a child and he knew it but he didn’t care. “He died! He’s gone and he thought I didn’t love him! He died feeling sorry, that he wasn’t good enough!” Tony choked on his words a bubble forming in his throat. “Why? Why would he think that? He was so much more, I- I can’t do this without him.”
Wong hung his head and stepped closer wrapping his arms around the other man to console him. “Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. It will hurt I won’t lie but it will be ok”
Tony’s body began to shake.
“It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair”