One move and the game’s over. Sigma eyes Osamu from across the table. Osamu knows he’s won. The deliberating is fake, Sigma can see as much. Osamu catches Sigma’s eye and grins.
“Looks like you’re out of luck,” Osamu moves his stupid knight forward and puts Sigma in checkmate.
“Per usual,” Sigma replies with a sigh. “This seriously isn’t my thing.”
“You say that every week! You have to keep your mind sharp, Sigma, that’s why I’m teaching you,” Osamu lectures, like Sigma needs to hear it.
Sigma flicks a pawn at Osamu, hitting them square in the forehead.
“Tell me about your day, now that we’re done,” Sigma demands.
Osamu reaches up to rub at his forehead.
“Way to break my heart,” Osamu leans forward, clutching his chest. “I wanted to see you win, I really did!”
“You one hundred percent did not,” Sigma counters.
“You truly have no faith in my integrity, huh?” Osamu whines.
“I do, where it counts. Not in chess,” Sigma says with a contented smile. “Now for the love of god, Osamu, tell me about your day,”
“I spent all day with stupid Chuuya,” Osamu admits.
Sigma’s face doesn’t move at all.
“At least pretend to be shocked!” He cries. He hits his hands on the table, knocking around a few chess pieces. Sigma diligently picks them up and places them back where they belong.
“There’s no way I could even fake it,” Sigma tells him.
“Well either way,” Osamu plops his head down on the table, knocking even more chess pieces over. Sigma pulls the board out from under their head, folding it up. They start to collect the chess pieces scattered about on the table. “I think I’m starting to like her company.”
Osamu says it like it’s an awful thing, like Osamu doesn’t talk about her like they’re already dating most days, like Sigma doesn’t know so much about Chuuya because he just can not keep her name out of his mouth.
“Does starting to like her company mean you’re dating, or are you still in denial?” Sigma places the box beneath her chair, looking at Osamu with raised eyebrows as she does.
“Ew! Sigma!” Osamu wretches. Sigma rolls their eyes.
“You are so contradictory; you’re doing this on purpose,” Sigma accuses. “What are you trying to get me to say?”
Osamu blinks. Then, he deflates.
“I just don’t know what to do, Sigma!” He wails. “Me and Chuuya are so complicated ,”
“No. You’re not. You’re just really bad at being forward,” Sigma says. “Like just a second ago.”
Osamu deflates even more, somehow, and Sigma almost feels bad for him. They reach out across the table and put a hand on his shoulder.
“You’re so mean…” Osamu pouts. Sigma pulls their hand back.
“Why don’t you just ask her out on a date or something?” Sigma tries. “Chuuya doesn’t seem all too opposed to being with you constantly, anyway,”
“What?” Osamu lifts their head. “No! Do you even know how romance works?”
Sigma gives Osamu a blank look.
“I don’t. You’re asking for advice from your one completely aroace friend,” Sigma rubs the bridge of their nose, the action contradicting their amused smile. “I have no idea what I’m talking about. Or what you’re talking about, for that matter. What’s wrong with asking her on a date?”
“You have to let the tension build! It needs to be the right time!” They’re gesturing vaguely with their hands.
“You haven’t built enough?” Sigma gawks. “You’ve been dancing around her for eight years,”
“It needs to be ten, obviously,” Osamu retorts.
Sigma laughs, waving him off.
“Why are you coming to me with this, anyway? What about Fyodor, Mykola?” Sigma cringes the moment the words come out of her mouth. “No. Ignore that. My point is, don’t you have other friends? Who feel romantic attraction, specifically?”
Osamu pauses to think. Then, shakes his head.
“Sorry. I was thinking about Chuuya. What’d you say?” Osamu has a horrible grin on his face. Sigma feels their eye twitch.
“Oh my god,”
Next week, Chuuya is at their table, and Sigma can’t bring themself to be surprised.
“Hello,” Sigma says. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” They sit down, noticing the lack of the chess set on the table.
“Sorry, this idiot over here takes up all of my goddamn time,” Chuuya shoots a glare towards Osamu, who’s grinning like she just complimented him.
“It’s fine. It just means Osamu spares me the chess game that he makes me play to feel good about himself,” Sigma sees Chuuya eye them.
“Don’t make me look so bad! The only reason I don’t make Chuuya play is because I don’t really think it’s up to her speed,” Osamu looks at Chuuya for her reaction, which based off the widening grin on their face, is the one they were hoping for.
“Shut up, mackerel,” Chuuya hisses.
“Anyway! I don’t think you two have ever properly sat down and spoken before!” Osamu does not shut up.
“Once again, it’s because you occupy all of my space, wanted or not,” Chuuya replies. “Even now.”
“Why is everybody so mean to me?” Osamu covers their face with their hands, pretending to cry.
Chuuya rolls her eyes. She grabs one of Osamu’s wrists and pries it off of her face and slams it onto the table.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” She tells him.
“That is literally the only thing I’m good at. Don’t you know me at all, slug?” Osamu retorts with a tug, just to see if he can pull away his arm, which he can not.
“I know you’re a real pain in the ass,” Chuuya releases her grip on Osamu’s wrist.
Sigma wonders, somewhere in the back of their head that actually is having any coherent thought besides sheer confusion, if this is their weird way of flirting. It sure is making Sigma uncomfortable, in any case. And then Sigma wonders why the hell they’re here.
“Sheesh! What I was trying to say is: I wanted to formally introduce you to my kitten, Sigma!” Osamu revels in the varied responses.
“Your fucking what ?” Chuuya shouts, absolutely too loud.
“What in the hell goes through your brain, Osamu?” Sigma grits at a tone that’s basically a whisper in comparison to Chuuya’s yell.
“What? What was I supposed to say?” Osamu asks Sigma, leaning in and whispering like Chuuya can’t hear him.
Sigma pushes Osamu away. “I’m his queerplatonic partner,” Sigma clarifies to Chuuya, choosing to ignore whatever it is Osamu is saying.
“Oh,” Chuuya says brilliantly.
“There’s a reason I didn’t tell her, Sigma,” Osamu says, gesturing to Chuuya. “She obviously doesn’t know what that is.”
“I do! You’re such an asshole,” Chuuya defends, crossing her arms petulantly.
“You tried to make her jealous,” Sigma says as they’re walking Osamu home.
“It’s just too easy,” Osamu chirps.
“If you know she’ll get jealous, you know she likes you, ask her out,” Sigma puts her hands on her hips.
“No way! Didn’t you hear what I said about ten years?” Osamu deflects.
“You should have seen her face when I called you by your given name,” Sigma lets out a short laugh.
“Chuuya’s natural scowl is beautiful, isn’t it?” Osamu fawns.
Sigma walks ahead of him. Osamu doesn’t notice for a moment. When he does, he stills completely.
“Sigma,” He says.
Sigma keeps walking.
“Sigma!” He says again.
Sigma pauses, and then, slowly, she turns.
“I am so fucking smart,” He says. “I do not know how I can’t figure this out.”
Sigma walks back over to Osamu, grabbing them by the sleeve and dragging them along. Osamu lets it happen.
“Nobody can figure you out, Osamu,” Sigma links their arms together. “Chuuya’s not gonna say anything if you don’t, because nothing you say makes any sense. You’re unpredictable, and that scares normal people.”
“That’s not–”
“If everything you do is a convoluted plan, or an ulterior motive, or anything like that, it stops being special. Just go be stupid and awkward and tell Chuuya you can’t stop thinking about her scowl,” Sigma flicks Osamu’s forehead.
“Stop going for my forehead!” Osamu swats their hand away.
“Ask that girl out!” Sigma retorts.
“Maybe I will!” Osamu huffs, which is the closest Sigma’s getting to a yes.
“Good. Then let’s hurry and get you home already so you can convince me to play chess with you,” Sigma gently tugs Osamu to indicate they’re picking up their pace.
“I was not!” Osamu lies.
“You were,” Sigma smiles.
He was, and they did. Sigma loses, as they usually do. There’s not much improvement from Sigma either, mostly because Osamu was too distracted to go easy on them. That doesn’t bother Sigma in the slightest. It only means Sigma finally broke through that surprisingly thick skull of his.
“What’re you gonna tell them?” Sigma asks, putting up the board and its pieces as they typically do.
The scariest part is, Osamu doesn’t immediately answer. Sigma raises her eyebrows in shock when she isn’t met with a quip the moment the words leave her mouth.
“That I like her scowl?” Osamu jokes, though the tone is flat, and he drops his head onto the table, obscuring his expression with folded arms.
“Being honest really is tiring you out, isn’t it? Sucks to be normal with normal people problems,” Sigma sighs fondly. They jostle Osamu by the head, ruining his hair, which barely means anything.
“Yes! It really is!” Osamu whines.
“Still, I really don’t know how to help you. I’ve gotten you one step further, but really, I don’t know anything about the… More complicated details. It isn’t my department,” Sigma makes eye contact with Osamu as he raises his head from his arms. There’s a big frown on his face that makes Sigma laugh.
“Uh oh,” Osamu deadpans.
“ Uh oh , indeed, Osamu,” Sigma nods.
Chess with Fyodor goes as Osamu expected it to. They played, just for a bit, until Mykola showed up, as planned, and completely interrupted everything. Fyodor shoots Osamu a knowing look, but Osamu ignores it as they greet Mykola.
Osamu is the one picking up the board and putting away the pieces, trying to mimic Sigma’s elegance in the process.
“It seems Sigma finally got you up to the inevitable,” Fyodor finally says, surely having known the point of this the entire time.
Mykola puts their hands on their hips and looks at Fyodor. She puffs out her cheeks and leans down to where it’s sitting, glaring at her girlfriend.
“Tell me what’s going on before you do the evil grin!” Mykola demands. Fyodor nods.
“Dazai’s…” Fyodor gestures vaguely, something that arguably makes less sense to Osamu than the inevitable , but Mykola seems to get it then, because he straightens up and claps.
“I thought you’d just die before this day!” Mykola cheers.
“Thanks. So did I,” Osamu replies airily.
“So you want our advice, right? Because we’re dating?” Fyodor asks, very clearly amused. Osamu narrows his eyes.
“Yes,” Osamu says shortly, eyeing Mykola who is definitely revving up to say something insane.
“Try to kill her!” Mykola shouts, probably turning some heads. Osamu can’t help but giggle.
“Honestly? Not a bad idea. I think she’s always wanted to kick my ass,” Osamu raises their hand up to their chin.
“I tell you,” Mykola grins. “It works like a charm every single time,”
“Truly. Every murder attempt had me falling harder and harder,” Fyodor pitches in.
Osamu realizes that this is not the right approach.
“Sigma, Fyodor and Mykola were no help,” Osamu complains into his phone.
“What in the hell made you think that they would be?” Sigma cringes.
“You suggested it!” Osamu shoots back.
“Absolutely not. I took it back as soon as I said it. They’re crazy, and even more insane together,” Sigma shudders.
“Yeah…” Osamu agrees.
Chess at Atsushi’s is surprising. Atsushi actually nearly beats them, funnily enough. Atsushi doesn’t seem all too surprised when she loses. Atsushi takes to putting away the board when they’re finished. Osamu presumes it’s to keep their hands busy.
“Say,” Osamu begins. Atsushi glances up to acknowledge Osamu. “How are things with Akutagawa?”
Atsushi hums. “Good,” She replies. “They’re the reason I almost beat you just now, actually,”
“Figured as much. Guess they’re a better teacher than me,” Osamu says.
“You just don’t want anyone to beat you,” Atsushi gives them a sideways glance that makes Osamu laugh.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Osamu nods. Atsushi raises an eyebrow.
“Okay, that’s weird, why aren’t you deflecting? Are you sick?” Atsushi gapes. Osamu tries to flick a stray chess piece at Atsushi like Sigma does– It doesn’t work. Atsushi plucks the chess piece off the table.
“I’ve been trying to… Stop doing that,” Osamu sounds pained saying it. Atsushi squints. Osamu has never felt so embarrassed in his life. So, reluctantly, he adds: “For a girl.”
Atsushi is so caught off guard that she snorts. Their hand flies up to their mouth. Having to explain the situation outright, since Atsushi can’t just stare into his brain, makes Osamu truly consider jumping out the window right by them.
“That makes more sense,” Atsushi giggles. “Chuuya, right?”
Osamu blinks.
“What?” Osamu stands up in his chair. “Atsushi, what? ” Atsushi has the gall to laugh again.
“It really is shocking it’s taken you longer to confess to her than it was for Ryuu to confess to me, honestly,” Atsushi is failing to cover up her laughter spectacularly. “If it’s any comfort, Ryuu has to deal with Chuuya’s end of this,”
Osamu feels like he’s astral projecting.
“Akutagawa has to… Chuuya’s end?” Osamu prods. Atsushi raises their hand to their mouth again, mimicking a zipper.
In Osamu’s head, they hear Sigma’s words.
If you know she’ll get jealous, you know she likes you, ask her out.
Somewhere in the back of Osamu’s mind, he’s known. Yet for whatever reason, he’s chasing the confirmation that it’s true. Somewhere else, he knows the only real confirmation he could get would be from…
Just go be stupid and awkward and tell Chuuya you can’t stop thinking about her scowl.
Osamu clambers away from the table, still looking at Atsushi. Atsushi’s smile is wide enough that Osamu can spot a sharp canine peeking through.
“I would say good luck , but you don’t need it. Just a spine,” Atsushi teases, which earns a playful glare from Osamu.
“I’m leaving now!” Osamu huffs out. He speedwalks toward the door.
“Be safe!” Atsushi calls out. Osamu makes a disgruntled sound in response.
When the door closes, Akutagawa walks into the room from the kitchen.
“Do you think they’re actually going to do it?” They ask.
“No, not really,” Atsushi chuckles.
Osamu sends a quick text to Chuuya.
[4:23 PM] O. DAZAI: chuuya
[4:23 PM] O. DAZAI: are you in your apartment
[4:23 PM] slug <3: not that it matters because even if im not youll literally go anyway but
[4:24 PM] slug <3: yeah
He smiles at the immediate response. They pick up their pace.
When Osamu arrives, through the window, might he add, because he’d never dream of using the door, Chuuya rolls her eyes and helps him through.
“What’s on the agenda for breaking and entering today?” Chuuya huffs, still holding onto Osamu’s wrist and shoulder respectively, despite Osamu having already gotten through the window.
“You!” Osamu shouts, red in the face from the borderline running and general embarrassment.
Chuuya flusters immediately, heat rising to her face.
Just go be stupid and awkward. To themself, Osamu thinks, Great start.
It’s a good sign Chuuya hasn’t shoved him yet, though.
“I went to like– Four different people, just to talk to you about this, and my entire monologue just got ruined because I’m staring at you in the face, and you’re really, really pretty–” Osamu runs out of breath, just for a moment, before gasping and continuing, “And I totally fucked that up, so we’re just running with whatever comes out of my mouth now–”
“–Which is usually totally stupid, yeah–” Chuuya chimes in, her face beet red.
“–Which is usually totally stupid, yes!” Osamu agrees without thinking. “But I need to tell you that I love you, because I suck at being straightforward, and my friends keep making fun of me, because apparently I’m super obvious? Anyway, yeah, um, totally in love with you, and have been for ages, and I think you are too? Not in love with yourself, I mean me, that’s obvious though, you’re not stupi–”
Chuuya lets go of Osamu’s wrist and shoulder, and for a moment Osamu is afraid that they’ve messed up. He finally tries to meet Chuuya’s eyes, only for her to grab his face and bring him in for a kiss.
Osamu fumbles for a moment. Then, he leans into it, his hands moving up to hold onto Chuuya’s shoulders.
Chuuya pulls away. She glares straight at him, which has no effect on Osamu’s slush brain.
“I am in love with you,” They say with a furrowed brow.
Osamu’s brain takes a few seconds to process that.
“For real?” Osamu’s eyes glisten. “I mean, obviously I knew that, but–”
Chuuya kisses him again.
After Osamu completely lies about what happened twice over the phone to Sigma, Chuuya snatches it from Osamu’s hand and puts it on speaker.
“He jumped in through my window, started rambling nonsense, and I kissed him,” Chuuya says. Sigma’s laugh rings through the phone.
“Yeah, that’s about what I was expecting. I’m happy for you two. It feels very good to stop pretending like I’m not embarrassed by your weird way of flirting,” Sigma replies.
Osamu’s face burns.
“I was so much cooler than that, Sigma, you have to believe me!” Osamu cries dramatically.
“Not a chance, Osamu,” Sigma retorts, amused.
Osamu lies to Fyodor and Mykola about it too, but Chuuya doesn’t have to swipe away the phone.
“You totally blew it, huh?” Fyodor chuckles. Somewhere in the background, Mykola says something incomprehensible.
“I didn’t blow anything if it worked!” Osamu shoots back.
“I thought that was the idea, though?” Mykola, now much closer to the phone, says.
Osamu hangs up.
Atsushi once again surprises Osamu.
“Wait. You actually did it?” Atsushi gawks.
Though, despite the offhanded reaction, it wasn’t Atsushi who really shocked him.
“I fucking told you!” Laughs, truly laughs, Akutagawa. Osamu can hear Atsushi sigh from the other end.
Chuuya can’t help but laugh as well. And in the end, Atsushi ends up laughing too, and then there’s just three people laughing at Osamu. He hangs up and glares at his newly-dubbed-girlfriend.
By the time Osamu is playing chess with Sigma again, Osamu has singularly heard the laugh of every person they know. And Sigma beats him at chess. As it typically plays out, Sigma is putting away the set with elegance.
“For someone who’s been trying to beat me for a while, you don’t seem too excited about it,” Osamu posits.
“I’m delighted. But I’ve already been ahead of you in one aspect,” Sigma replies easily.
Osamu leans forward, waiting for Sigma to continue.
“You’re the smartest woman I know. You’re steps ahead of everyone else constantly, including me. Break that down… And you’re just… Human,” Sigma smiles.
“Did… Did you make me get with Chuuya to win at chess?” Osamu’s eyes widened, like he believed it.
“No. But it helped,” Sigma places the last piece of the set into the box.