Chapter Two
Carina returned from the store in less than thirty minutes. She got everything she needs, gatorade, soup, more medicine, and popsicles to help with Maya’s sore throat.
She got it all.
The roads weren’t the best, which made for a longer trip than she originally anticipated. Although, walking through the front door, the warmth that is their apartment brings a familiar sense of coziness.
Walking straight for their bedroom, she pushes open the slightly cracked door, frowning when she notices that Maya’s not in bed.
She quickly leaves the room, searching the whole apartment, until she remembers the basement. More importantly, what’s in the basement.
Walking down the stairs, her smile is quickly wiped off her face at the recognizable sound that fills the room like a slap to the face.
Around the corner at the bottom of the stairs, Carina immediately sees what she was looking for. The treadmill is on. Someone is running. And that someone is her sick wife.
As soon as Maya looks up and meets Carina’s eyes, she jumps back, having not realized that she’s already home.
“You’re back,” Maya points out as a useless distraction while she turns off the treadmill, feeling a wave of nausea and dizziness pass through her body once the machine comes to a stop, causing her to grab onto the handlebars for more support.
The firm glare Carina gives her as she crosses her arms in annoyance is enough to make Maya cower at her gaze.
“What are you doing, Maya?” Carina asks angrily as she drops the bags from her hands, walking closer to her side. “Are you crazy? You’re sick! You could’ve hurt yourself!” Carina shouts as Maya immediately bursts into tears.
“I’m sorry. My thoughts were too loud and I couldn’t sleep and I kept having nightmares. I thought the only way they would go away was if I ran,” Maya explains in one breath as Carina struggles to follow her words.
Before Maya can say anything else, she rushes up the stairs and towards the bathroom, falling to her knees in front of the toilet as she empties her stomach, losing her fight against keeping her food down.
Carina followed her, pulling Maya’s hair into a makeshift ponytail to keep it out of her face, gently rubbing her back.
She could feel Maya’s hot skin against the palm of her hand, assuming that she’s most likely throwing up because of overheating or dehydration, maybe both.
Carina wants to scold Maya for making a stupid decision to run while having a high fever, having trusted the blonde to take care of herself while she was gone, but she knew that Maya has a heartbreaking past and she’s still trying to remind herself that she can rest and take sick days.
She also figures that Maya’s already being tortured enough between the mix of vomiting and having a sore throat, a bad combination.
That’s enough of a punishment.
“Do you want some water?” Carina asks as softly as she can manage, even though she’s still upset with the blonde.
Maya nods as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, moving her thumb and pointer finger to massage her painful lymph nodes.
Carina dropped Maya’s hair as she went to the bedroom, grabbing the cloth from earlier, along with the cup of water before returning to the bathroom.
She hands Maya the water, placing the cloth on the back of her sweaty neck.
Carina gives them a moment of silence to not only calm down, but to think through what she walked in on.
“Why were you running and how long?” She asks more calmly after a few minutes as Maya moves to lean against the wall, a few coughs escaping.
“My thoughts were too loud,” Maya repeats what she said earlier during her fast ramble. “Around ten minutes.”
“Thoughts about Lane?” Carina asks quietly as Maya simply nods, twisting her wedding band around her ring finger in a nervous habit.
“Yeah,” Maya whispers as a confession, avoiding Carina’s eyes as she stares down at her hands in her lap.
Carina slides over to Maya’s side, leaning against the same wall as she takes one of her hands into her own, giving it a soft squeeze.
“What did your thoughts say?” Carina carefully questions, wanting to give Maya the opportunity to share what was on her mind.
“It was my dad’s voice telling me that i’m being lazy and weak for laying around all day,” Maya answers. “I’m sorry for running. I knew you would be disappointed in me.”
“Not disappointed,” Carina sighs, thinking through all of her thoughts. “Just sad for you. Protective, I guess is the better word.”
Those words cause Maya to smile. Protective. No one has ever been protective over her. Not even her father through his own methods of showing his love.
He was controlling, not protective.
She has someone in her life who loves and protects her and even after all these years, it’s still a foreign concept.
Maya leans her head against the wall as she closes her eyes, feeling like she might pass out.
“Are you okay?” Carina asks worriedly as she turns her body towards her wife’s, removing the cloth from Maya’s neck and placing it on her forehead instead, seeing the beads of sweat start to form there.
“I feel dizzy,” Maya mumbles as Carina nods, even though she can’t see her with her eyes being closed.
“You ran when you aren’t supposed to. It’s probably making you feel worse,” Carina explains. “That’s a sign from your body telling you that you need to rest.”
Carina leaves the bathroom to grab the thermometer, walking straight over to Maya’s disheveled figure, seeing how much more pale she looks compared to this morning.
She brings the thermometer to her forehead, pressing the button to reveal yet another red screen.
103.7 °F (39.8 °C).
“Mio dio,” Carina mumbles as she begins to feel herself panic. “Okay, bellina. We need to get you into bed,” she says softly, trying to keep Maya calm, the woman who looks completely out of it.
Carina rises to her feet, helping Maya up as the blonde leans heavily on her for support. She guides her towards the bed, helping Maya on top the mattress.
She completely strips the bed of its blankets, watching as Maya shakes. Despite it being freezing outside, Carina turns on the overhead fan, much to Maya’s annoyance.
“Cold,” Maya practically whines amidst shakes that take over her whole body, causing her to fold into herself to help warm herself up.
“I know, bambina, but you need to bring your fever down or else we have to go to the hospital,” Carina states as she hands Maya some more water. “Drink.”
Maya brings the cup up to her mouth, taking a few sips as the nausea swells in the pit of her stomach, making her start to regret the decision of running.
Carina disappears out the bedroom door, leaving Maya alone as she goes back into the basement to collect the bags full of the items she got from the store.
She places the drinks and popsicles into the fridge, leaving the soup cans on the counter. Carina dumps out two pills of the Tylenol, hoping Maya will be able to swallow the medication this time.
She brings the medicine back into the bedroom, going straight over to Maya’s side of the bed. “I brought you some Tylenol,” she announces as Maya doesn’t make a move to sit up.
“Shouldn’t we be going to the hospital if it’s strep throat?” Maya asks, something that Carina takes notes of, knowing that Maya would try to avoid the hospital like the plague.
“The roads are really bad so i’m trying to treat it here to the best of my ability until the roads clear up,” Carina explains as Maya nods. “Can you take this?” She asks, gesturing to the pills in her hand.
“I feel like i’ll throw up if I move,” Maya admits.
“I know but the medicine might help with your sore throat and nausea,” Carina states, trying to convince the blonde to take the medicine, desperately needing her temperature to go down.
“Fine,” Maya sighs as she slowly forces herself up, coughing as she does so.
Carina can easily tell that the running took just about everything out of her.
Maya holds out her hand, leading Carina to hand over the pills, along with the cup of water to help wash it down.
She eyes the pills before bringing them to her mouth, quickly swallowing them to avoid changing her mind or having to bear the excruciating pain of her throat if she takes it slow.
Taking medicine goes against everything she was grown up to believe. She still remembers when she was twelve and had a bad case of the flu.
“Time to get up,” Lane shouted from down the hall. A warning. Meaning, you better be up before I walk into your room.
However, Maya’s body had other plans. Her muscles ached, and not the familiar ache after a long workout session that she completed the day before. This was an ache that settled deep within her bones.
Her head was pounding, making the simple task of opening her eyes impossible without the sharp pain that accompanied it.
Her body felt like it was on fire, a sign that she definitely has a fever.
And as much as she wants to get up to avoid being yelled at, she just can’t.
Her dad barges into the room without a mere knock, his fake smile instantly fading to a glare at the sight of Maya still in bed, eyes closed, resting on her stomach.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Lane firmly questions.
“I think i’m sick,” Maya replies quietly, her body rigid, not moving a muscle in hopes that she will somehow be able to convince him that she really isn’t feeling well.
And maybe, just maybe, he will let it slide and allow her one day of rest.
“You think you’re sick?” He asks impatiently.
“I know i’m sick,” Maya rephrases. “I need medicine,” she declares quietly, not wanting to set her father off.
“Come on, Maya. Toughen up. Only weak losers need medicine. Last time I checked, you aren’t weak,” Lane states, arguing in the way he usually does. Trying to give her a slight ego boost so she will do what he wants.
“You need to get up. Your times were horrendous yesterday. You won’t ever win with those times. The last thing you need is to be laying around,” Lane declares angrily. “You have five minutes to get dressed and meet me downstairs.”
With those final words, Lane marches out of the room, slamming the door on his way out.
Maya can easily tell that he isn’t playing around, not like he does anyway.
Forcing her exhausted, sick body out of bed with a groan, Maya feels even more sick than she did laying down. The dizziness is more apparent.
She scrambles to throw on a t-shirt and athletic leggings, tying up her running shoes, attempting to ignore how weak her body feels. How every little move is taxing.
She can push through. She’s strong.
Maya remembers running three miles that day, practically passing out on the track once the delirium and overexertion kicked in her ill body.
“Maya?” Carina questions cautiously when she notices that her wife has been spacing out for quite some time. “Is everything okay?”
“Just thinking,” she answers before laying back down on her side, back facing Carina.
The brunette lays down on her side as well, throwing her arm around Maya’s waist and holding her tight, wanting to do anything she can to comfort her.
Carina knows exactly what Maya meant when she said just thinking. She’s aware that it was probably a memory from her childhood since the blonde tends to space out whenever she’s remembering something from the past.
It’s the same empty look on her face every time.
“I love you and i’m here,” Carina reassures, hoping that Maya knows she’s not alone. That Carina will be here for every step of the way.
A sickness is a sickness to everyone else, but it’s so much more to Maya, that Carina knows.
It means lack of control, unwanted memories from her childhood being brought up again, and resting when she’s sick is also unfamiliar.
Carina’s here to help teach Maya that taking a sick day is not a bad thing. That she can rest without having to be scared of any negative consequences that used to come her way when she was sick as a kid.
A phone rang in the midst of darkness, waking Maya up from a deep sleep. Between her brain feeling foggy and the black of the night outside her window, Maya assumes that she slept all evening.
Noticing that Carina’s also asleep, arm still wrapped around her stomach, Maya reaches for the phone in question, realizing that it’s her own.
It’s not exactly a call, but one of her texts alerts, telling her that she got called in to work.
It’s not a fire, but apparently the station is so backed up from helping citizens amidst the snow storm that A-shift got called in.
Maya feels absolutely awful, but she figures that she got enough rest for the night, deciding that going into work would be the best option.
Then maybe she can actually be of help to somebody instead of wasting her time sleeping.
Glancing at the arm resting tightly against her body, Maya gently takes Carina’s wrist and somehow maneuvers herself from out of her wife’s hold.
Maya slips out of bed, tiptoeing her way to the closet and pulling out clothes that are suitable for work, using the flashlight on her phone to illuminate the closet.
With all the noise amidst the silent room, Carina pats the empty space next to her, quickly realizing that she’s alone.
Maya’s no longer in bed, once again.
Fighting the grogginess, Carina uses her hands to hold her body up as she sees Maya frantically searching through their closet.
“Maya? What are you doing?” Carina asks, her voice raspy with sleep.
“I got called into work,” Maya states in a whisper like Carina just asked the most stupidest question known to man.
“Bambina, you cannot go to work,” Carina states, her tone a little more stern, wanting her words to sink in. “You’d be a danger to not only yourself, but your team.”
The brunette makes her way out of bed, walking straight for the closet, seeing Maya still sifting through clothes to find an outfit.
Carina places a hand on Maya’s shoulder, causing the blonde to slightly jump, making Carina assume that Maya’s in her own little world and wasn’t even listening to a word that she said.
“Let’s go back to bed, tesoro. You’re too sick to be working right now,” Carina says softly, trying to remain patient as Maya’s not totally grasping the idea that she should only be resting.
“I’m fine, Carina,” Maya snaps. “People could be injured or even dying. They need help.”
“They have the rest of your team. You are no help to them, Maya. You have such a high fever that i’m on the verge of bringing you to Grey Sloan,” Carina declares as Maya crosses her arms over her chest.
“I can’t just sit here and do nothing while people are dying. I should be out there, helping them. That’s my job,” Maya argues and Carina nods in agreement.
“That is your job, but you ran earlier and almost passed out. I don’t think you could even put on your turnouts because of how weak you are,” Carina explains, attempting to keep her voice calm, knowing that the second she starts shouting, Maya stops listening.
Maya doesn’t say anything to argue, but instead looks down at her feet, giving Carina the time to continue.
“If you go out there, you could get more sick and be out of work for even longer. You need to do the resting now so you can heal,” Carina adds.
“I can’t do this, Carina. I feel lazy and weak and I just need to do something,” Maya confesses on the verge of tears as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed.
“I know, bellina. I’m sorry that this is so hard,” Carina says tenderly, placing a small kiss to the top of Maya’s head, feeling the skin burning up. “I think your Tylenol is making its way out of your system. Do you want to take a bath?”
Maya merely shakes her head no. The flashbacks are already bad enough and she would rather not subject herself to even more if she were to come into contact with the cold water.
“Do you want more medicine? Maybe a popsicle?” Carina suggests, smiling when she sees Maya’s eyes light up at the mention of popsicles.
She wonders if Maya ever had them as a child when she wasn’t feeling good.
Probably not.
“Popsicles at three in the morning?” Maya questions with a small eyebrow raised, causing Carina to chuckle softly.
“There’s no rules for popsicles. Not here,” Carina replies. “I think I want one too.”
“Okay,” Maya agrees.
Carina takes Maya by the hand, leading her towards the kitchen. She opens up the fridge, pulling out the popsicle box.
“What color?” Carina asks as Maya shrugs.
“Surprise me,” Maya responds. Popsicles were a rare treat throughout her whole life. She hasn’t had the icy dessert enough to know which flavor is the best.
Carina pulls out one red and one orange, handing Maya the latter. They open the wrapper up, discarding it into the trash.
“Couch or bed?” Carina asks and Maya thinks about her question.
“Couch,” Maya answers, thinking that maybe a change of scenery will be good.
“Okay. Go take a seat and i’ll get your medicine,” Carina instructs and Maya goes to do what she’s told.
The brunette is glad that the popsicles were a good enough distraction from the fact that Maya got called into work. She’s relieved that they avoided a possible panic attack as well.
She knew that this whole situation is hard for her wife, especially since dealing with sicknesses lack control. Carina just has to be as patient and understanding as possible.
Grabbing another dose of Maya’s tylenol, along with making a trip to their bedroom to get Maya’s phone, Carina rubs her tired eyes, willing the dark bags underneath to go away.
Carina unlocks Maya’s phone, turning it on and selecting Andy’s contact. She presses the call button, waiting for the woman on the other end to answer.
“Hey,” Andy greets on the other end, her tone laced with exhaustion as she was most likely in a deep sleep before being called into work, just like they were.
“Ciao Andy. It’s Carina. I’m just calling to let you know that Maya won’t be going to work today…and probably the next few days,” Carina declares as the line goes silent for a moment.
“Is she okay?” Andy asks cautiously.
“Maya’s sick with what I assume to be strep throat. She’s going to be okay, but she’s taking a few days to rest,” Carina explains, although that doesn’t help with Andy’s confusion.
“Maya’s resting?” Andy questions, completely stunned.
“Sí,” Carina simply replies, nodding, even though Andy can’t see that part.
“And you didn’t have to hold her down?” Andy jokes as Carina chuckles lightly.
“Not with force. It took a little convincing but everything is okay,” Carina reassures Maya’s friend, and really hers too.
“Okay,” Andy sighs. “Tell Maya that I hope she feels better.”
“I will,” Carina responds.
“Also, it’s probably going to be a long shift but if you need anything, just call,” Andy states.
“Grazie Andy. Be safe,” Carina smiles appreciatively.
“I’ll try. Bye,” the firefighter says.
They say their final goodbyes before Carina ends the call, placing the phone down on the kitchen counter. She brings her own popsicle back to her mouth as she heads for the living room in search of her wife.
And the sight that she’s met with made her heart ache.
Maya was laying in the corner of the couch, wrapped in a blanket as shivers traveled throughout her entire body. She was trying to enjoy the soothing feeling of the cool popsicle against her scratchy throat, but she was too tired to care.
“I brought you some medicine,” Carina states softly as she hands Maya the pills, alongside a glass of water.
Maya takes them with no complaints, just desperate to feel better.
“Can I join you?” Carina asks as Maya nods, secretly hoping for the comfort that she knows her wife will provide.
They finish their popsicles in silence, Maya leaning her head on Carina’s shoulder before the brunette persuaded her to lay with her head in her lap.
“How long does strep usually last?” Maya mutters and it’s clear for Carina to see that she’s starting to become aggravated that she’s still not feeling well, even if it has been only a little over twenty four hours.
“A few days, maybe a week,” Carina answers as she brushes blonde hair with her fingers, gently massaging Maya’s scalp to help her tense body relax.
Maya huffs in disappointment, just wanting to feel better already. She wants to get back to her normal life and go on calls with the rest of her team.
Not just stuck on the couch, barely able to move.
“I’m sorry if I get you sick. This sucks,” Maya mumbles as Carina holds back a laugh at her bluntness.
“I have a great immune system,” Carina states.
“I’m jealous. Teach me your secrets,” Maya replies as Carina giggles.
The blonde breaks out into a fit of coughs, it taking a second for her to catch her breath, causing her to quickly sit up in hopes to gain better control of her breathing.
Carina brings the palm of her hand to Maya’s back, rubbing circles as she finally finishes coughing.
Carina’s secretly starting to think that this might be more than just strep throat. She’s aware that having a cough usually isn’t a symptom of that particular disease, but having a cough this severe is even more strange.
However, she didn’t want to bring that to Maya’s attention, not wanting to scare her even more. Though, she’ll have to monitor it to make sure her wife remains safe before the snow clears a little, giving them an opportunity to go to the hospital safely.
Maya settles back in the previous position with her head in Carina’s lap. Her fingers find Maya’s hair once again.
“Do you want to watch tv?” Carina asks, hoping to continue distracting her wife as to not have to worry about the anxiety of wishing she was working.
Maya wordlessly nods, a signal for Carina to grab the remote that was placed on the coffee table. She turned on the tv, choosing a random cooking channel.
Over the course of a half an hour, Maya twisted and turned, unable to get comfortable.
Her chest was hurting, which she thought was pretty strange given that Carina practically diagnosed her with strep. Maya kept quiet about it though, hoping that the feeling will be relieved once her medicine kicked in.
Regardless of Maya’s hopefulness, she felt winded all of a sudden, leading her to abruptly sit back up, placing a hand on her chest as she deeply coughed.
“Are you okay?” Carina asks worriedly, her hands hovering around Maya’s body, not knowing if she should touch her or not.
“I-I can’t breathe,” Maya claims between breaths, the coughing beginning to come to a stop. Yet she still couldn’t seem to get enough air down to her lungs.
“You’re okay,” Carina calmly states as she moves off of the couch, kneeling down in front of her wife as she sets her hands on her thighs. “Follow my breathing-“
“No, Carina,” Maya interrupts with a firm tone to get her attention, but Carina could also see the fear written across her face. “N-Not anxiety. I really can’t breathe.”
And oh.
It clicks within Carina’s mind that this sickness must be a lot worse than she originally thought. With her medical knowledge, her mind spun with possible diagnoses.
She was sure Maya had strep, but maybe she was wrong.
Although, Carina’s also aware that the infections from strep could cause other infections. And she knows that many of those illnesses are terrifying.
It could be pneumonia.
Maybe bronchitis.
Possibly even meningitis or sepsis.
She’s spinning out, but she attempts to remain calm, knowing that Maya got vaccinated for these type of infections, making it extremely rare for her to get sick with any of them.
Though rare isn’t impossible, and the thought scared her.
“Carina,” Maya says firmly, trying to get her wife’s attention, who’s seemingly dozing out. “We have t-to go to the hospital.”
Maya even bringing up the idea of going to the hospital reminded her of the severity of the situation, knowing that she would never willingly go unless something was really wrong.
“Right, sí,” Carina nods, standing up from her knees as she practically runs straight for the window. Looking outside, she’s met with a dark view of the early morning. She squints, seeing that it’s no longer snowing.
It doesn’t matter anyway. They have to go to the hospital no matter what.
She goes back over to Maya’s side, seeing the tears welling up in those blue eyes that she loves so much. Carina’s scared and she’s not the one having trouble breathing.
Maya must be terrified.
“Okay, my love. Let’s go. It’s going to be okay,” Carina reassures, trying to ease her wife’s nerves, hoping that what she’s saying is true.
She doesn’t want to think the worst until she hears it, but with Maya’s particular symptoms, Carina just knows in her gut that this has to be some type of infection.
However, she pushes the thought to the back of her mind, aware that she has to be in charge now. She has to be the brave one and get Maya to the hospital.