Please don’t go
Tony stared at Pepper.
He didn’t know if he was hearing that right.
“Switzerland? I can’t go to Switzerland and leave Peter… he needs me here. No. You deal with it.” Tony wasn’t going. There was simply no way he could go, it just wasn’t possible since he had a responsibility at home to take care of his kid.
Pepper looked at him with sad eyes. “Tony, I’m sorry. I found out this morning and I’ve been trying everything I can to get you to do the work from home or for it to be done in the tower but it can’t. I’m sorry but you have to go.”
Tony took a seat on the chair.
He stared straight ahead and tried to think it over in his head. He had to leave for Switzerland in a few days, without Peter and stay for a week. No way. It just wasn’t going to happen.
Peter wouldn’t be able to function. It was as simple as that.
“I don’t know what to do, Pep. I can’t bring him and I can’t leave him.” Tony had his own separation anxiety from Peter but his was tolerable. He was an adult and he knew how to handle it. Peter didn’t.
“Tell him tonight and explain to him what will happen.” Pepper suggested but Tony shook his head. That wouldn’t work.
“No. Can you come with us? You can stay in the hotel with him and watch him until I’m done. Then I’ll be back for bedtime.” Tony asked her desperately. It was his only option. He couldn’t leave Peter with the team either.
For a few hours, sure, but not for a full week.
“I would if I could but I have three meetings in New York scheduled for when you’re supposed to leave and the next day.” Pepper said.
Tony sighed and tried to decide what to do. “Okay. What if he stays with you and then after your meetings, you guys can fly to Switzerland?” The more Tony thought about it, the more he thought it could work. “So that way he’ll just be away from me for one night and two days.”
It was still a long time but… Tony didn’t have any other choices.
Sometimes he had to put his work first and sacrifice a lot.
Pepper thought about it. “If I watch him for those two days, I’ll have to get Steve to stay with him while I’m at my meetings.”
“Yeah.” Tony nodded. “I’ll talk to Steve but that’ll work.”
Tony really hoped this worked. It was just two days and one night Peter and him had to be separated.
They could do this… Tony hoped they could.
Now, he just had to tell his kid. “I’ll go tell him. He was supposed to start school this week but… once again, it’s getting pushed back.
Tony stood up and sighed. “Am I a bad father? I mean, I keep pushing back him starting school. I know he’s smart but I still don’t want him falling behind or having to repeat grade nine.”
“The fact that you’re worried about it, proves that you are a good father. Don’t think otherwise, Tony. You love Peter with everything you have.”
That felt good to hear. Tony hated doubting himself at times.
“Well… now I gotta be a bad father and tell Peter.” With that, Tony left the room and walked down the hallway to tell Peter the awful news.
Peter was squatting down in front of the tv and sucking on the empty yogurt drink that Tony gave him a few minutes ago. He looked towards his dad when he walked in the room. “Can I have another one of these? It’s good.”
Tony walked towards Peter. Looking at the yogurt spilt all down his shirt. “Did you get any of it in your mouth, kid.”
Peter stood up. “Yeah. I want more.”
“You can have more later but I want to talk to you about something for a sec.” Tony walked towards the couch, waiting for Peter to follow him but Peter stayed where he was. “Come sit.”
Peter shook his head. “No. What is it?”
Tony figured that Peter already knew… or at least had some idea. “Just come sit and I’ll tell you-”
“No! Tell me now. What is it?” Peter felt the anxiety multiply in his body. “Dad.”
Tony sighed. Time to rip the bandage. “I have to go to Switzerland for a week and you can’t come with me.”
He watched as all the colour drained from Peter’s face and Tony felt awful. “I’m so-”
“No! No no no no no no! You-you’re not going and leaving me! Nooo!” Peter stumbled into Tony’s arms, crying violently against him.
Tony expected this but it still broke his heart. “I’m sorry. I know but I have to go-”
Peter pulled away and started shaking his head. “No, no. Don’t go. Don’t go, please.” He broke off into a fit of sobs so Tony sat down, pulling Peter onto his lap.
“I know you’re scared but it’ll be okay and it’ll go by-”
Peter arched his back to get out of his dad's arms and sank to the floor. “Don’t. Don’t go.” He started coughing, choking on his crying and getting himself too worked up.
Tony knew he had to calm Peter down so he didn’t make himself sick over the crying. “Take a breath, Peter. You’re okay.” Tony stood up but that only had Peter crying harder so he lifted him up. “Can you just breathe for a second?” Peter continued to cry so Tony walked into the kitchen to grab his soft spout water bottle and filled it up with water, hoping to calm Peter down a bit. “Here. Drink it.”
Peter was placed on his feet and took the cup, drinking it to sooth his sore throat from all the screaming. He held onto his dad's shirt, gripping it with one hand so he didn’t go anywhere.
He put the cup down after and rubbed at his eyes. “Don’t go anywhere. O-okay? I-I-I want-want you to stay with me always.”
“I always will but sometimes I have to go-”
Peter was cutting him off again and shaking his head into him. “No. Stay. Stay here.”
“Pepper is going to stay here with you while I go and-”
Peter grabbed onto his dad's shirt and threw himself onto the ground, kicking his legs out while he cried. Tony bent down, trying to get Peter to let go of his shirt. “Peter, you’re okay. It’s just temporary and then-”
“No! It’s not! You’re-you are tryin’ to leave me!” Peter screamed, breaking Tony’s heart.
Tony pulled Peter into a sitting position but Peter refused to bend his body so Tony carefully made sure he didn’t bang his head and just let him lay on the kitchen floor while he sat next to him, patting Peter’s stomach to offer some sort of comfort.
“After two days, Pepper will bring you to Switzerland to see me. It’ll just be two days I’ll be gone for.” That was good news but Peter listened to him then started crying even harder. Tony waited.
He wanted to let Peter cry it out but he knew they would be here all day since Peter didn’t know how to calm himself down when he got so worked up like this. It was extremely dangerous. Tony worried about Peter’s poor heart and how much strain it was under every time he got like this.
“Let’s go sit on the couch so we can calm down.” Tony stood up but when he did, Peter screamed out for him. “Peter, stop. C’mon. I’m right here and you’re getting yourself worked up.”
Tony lifted Peter up, holding him awkwardly as he carried him over to the couch and pulled Peter onto his lap.
“It’s just for a little bit, I’ll be okay and you’ll be okay.” Tony wasn’t so sure about that. He didn’t believe his own words but he hoped that Peter believed them.
They stayed like that for a few minutes. Tony waited for Peter to calm down and continued to rub at his back. “Let’s not think about this right now. How about you go in a bubble bath with your bath toys? Do you wanna do that?”
Peter nodded against Tony, lifting his head up and sliding off his lap.
They walked upstairs and into Tony’s bathroom so he started the bath, making sure it was at a safe temperature before pouring the bubble bath inside. “Grab your toys from under the sink.”
Peter tugged on his shirt with a whine. “It’s stuck. Help.”
Tony would have told Peter to try again if he wasn’t already in an emotional state so Tony pulled his shirt off and tossed it into Peter’s other pile of clothes.
“I want my lego man and the fishing rod.” Peter squatted down to dig under the sink for the toys he wanted. When he found them, he stood up and walked towards his dad, leaning against his leg. “Hold them so I can go in.”
Tony took the bucket of toys from Peter and sat on the edge of the bathtub while Peter climbed in but when he did, he immediately jumped back out and almost fell over if Tony wasn’t there to grab his arm. “Woah, what is it?”
“It’s hot. Ow. My foot is burnt.” Peter collapsed against his dad and tried to lift his foot up to his face to inspect the damage. “Owie.”
Tony stuck his hand in the water, it wasn’t that hot but Peter was extremely extra. “Your foot isn’t burnt. Let me see.” He grabbed Peter’s perfectly fine foot and pushed it away. “You’re okay. Go in now. I put cold water in.”
Peter stuck his foot in it again to test the water and immediately pulled it back out. “Ow! It’s too cold now. You made it all cold.”
Tony stood Peter off of him and dipped his hand into the water. “No, it’s fine. Just… go in the bath.”
“No. I don’t want to anymore.” Peter crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from Tony.
“Now you don’t want to take a bath?” Tony stopped himself from groaning in frustration. Peter pushed him to his limits everyday. “Then you can put your clothes back on and go entertain yourself because I don’t have time for your indecisiveness.”
“No. No no, I want to stay with you. I’ll go in the bath.” Peter was quick to turn around and climb into the bath, squatting down in the water so he wasn’t fully sitting in it but Tony would take it. At least Peter was in the water. “Give me my toys.”
Tony picked them up off the ground but held them out, out of reach from Peter. “Manners please. Don’t say ‘give me’.”
Peter threw his head back. “I want it.”
“I don’t care. Stop being bossy.” Tony sat back and waited for Peter to lose the temper. They both stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of them giving in so Tony stood up and went to toss the toys into the basket but Peter screamed.
“No! I’m sorry! I’m sorry. Please give it. Thank you, please.” Peter rushed out in a desperate voice.
“You really have no idea what you’re supposed to say.” Tony handed Peter the toy, not happy with him. All Peter had to say was please and he was saying all of these words instead, trying to guess what Tony wanted him to say.
Peter grabbed the toy while still looking up at his dad with wide eyes. He slowly lowered it into the water while waiting for Tony to say something else but when he didn’t, he looked away and started to play.
Tony wasn’t mad at Peter, he didn’t think he could ever be mad at Peter but his kid tested him a lot and it was difficult. He took a seat on the bathtub step to see what Peter was up to.
He watched him for a good few minutes, loving Peter’s imagination so much. He wished that he could have the power for Peter to keep his mind young and innocent to stay like this forever but it just wasn’t possible.
Tony grabbed a spray bottle from the bathroom counter and put it in the water to fill it up but Peter was turning around to try and grab it from him. “Mine. I wanna see.”
“Wait, grabby hands.” Tony finished putting the lid on and sprayed Peter in the face, causing Peter to gasp and then break out in a fit of giggles.
“My turn. I wanna spray you.” Peter took the spray bottle and aimed it at Tony, grinning before spraying him. It was only a mist so it didn’t soak Tony but he still didn’t want to get sprayed so he grabbed it back from Peter.
“Mine now.” Tony sprayed Peter again, causing him to break out laughing and Tony fell in love with that laugh all over again. He loved Peter so much. He loved him so much it scared him sometimes.
Peter took the bottle back and sprayed it into his mouth, causing Tony to cringe. “Ew. That’s bath water.”
Peter looked over at him. “No. Not ew because there’s soap in it.”
“Double ew.” Tony laughed at his own comment and grabbed the shampoo bottle. “Time to wash your hair. Dip your head in to wet it.”
Peter giggled and sat up on his knees to crawl onto the ledge behind the bathtub, near the window. It was impossible to see in but Peter didn’t need to know that. “Hey, sit down before all of Manhattan sees your bubble butt.”
“Oh well.” Peter laughed and pressed his butt up against the window, leaving bubbles dripping down it. “Look. Bubble butt. Take a picture.”
Tony doesn’t know who raised Peter to be like this but then he remembered that he did and he raised one hell of a funny kid. “I don’t even have my phone. Can you sit back in the bath? You’re making me nervous up there.”
Peter shrugged. “Why?”
“Because I feel like you’re gonna slip and fall in or something. At least sit on your bum.” Tony felt around his pockets for his phone but he has no idea where he put it. “FRIDAY, take a picture of Peter’s art on the wall. Thank you.”
Peter smiled and got back into the water, wetting just hair so Tony could wash it.
When bath time was over and Peter was wrapped in his towel and lying on the bed, Tony walked back into the room after quickly cleaning up the bathroom and cooing at Peter’s adorable face.
“You look so comfortable.” Tony pointed out but then Peter sat up and tried to crawl towards Tony but he was undoing all the hard work Tony put into wrapping Peter up tightly. “No. Stay there.”
Peter stopped moving but looked at Tony. “I wanna move now.”
“No. Let’s just sit for a bit. Do you wanna watch tv?” Tony sat on the bed and grabbed the remote, turning on Peter’s cartoon. He had to leave tomorrow night, well, extremely early the next day so he wanted to enjoy this time with Peter while he could.
Peter pulled his arms out of his towel and reached over for his water bottle on the nightstand table but it was old. “That’s like three nights old. You don’t even need one right now.”
Tony grabbed the glass of water from the table and handed it to Peter who pushed his face away. “No, I don’t want that one.”
“It’s the same thing.” Tony placed it back on the table because he didn’t understand Peter sometimes. All the time actually but he still loved him more than anything.
Peter kicked his towel off for the fluffy blanket at the bottom of the bed. “Wrap me in it. But do it tight like you did with the towel.”
Tony was quick to wrap Peter up, holding him like a sack of potatoes in his arms. “You wanna go downstairs then?”
“I want to go to your lab.” Peter said, trying to wrap his legs around his dad’s waist but the blanket was wrapped too tightly around him. “Make it looser.”
Tony wasn’t even going to try but it was hard to carry Peter with nothing really to hold onto so he unwrapped the bottom so Peter could wrap his legs around him. “We can’t go down to the lab unless you wanna get dressed.”
Peter shyly hid his head in Tony’s neck. “No. I like my blankie.”
Tony thought so.
He placed Peter on the couch and took a seat next to him. “What do you wanna do?”
“Ummm…” Peter thought about it. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, just hanging out with his dad was fun enough. “I want you to tickle my feet.”
Tony playfully rolled his eyes as he grabbed Peter’s tiny feet, placing them on his lap. He didn’t know why Peter wanted his feet tickled since he was extremely ticklish. “Five little piggy’s on this foot, let me check the other one.”
Peter watched his dad, giggling at the tickles to his foot. He laid down against the pillows on the couch and watched his dad. “Count the big piggy. He’s the biggest one.”
“Hmmm. I don’t see any big toes here. It’s all baby toes.” Tony held up Peter’s foot, pretending to take a bite out of his toes which had Peter screaming just as Pepper walked down.
“What are you guys doing?” She asked and took a seat on the couch.
Tony covered Peter with the blanket and held his foot up. “Just counting all the pigs. Making sure they’re all there.”
He observed Peter’s toenails and he was only noticing how long they were for the first time. He had never cut Peter’s nails before but as he thought about it, he had never seen Peter cut his nails. “Your toenails are extremely long, Peter.”
Peter just stared at him.
“Do you cut them? Let me see your fingernails.” He grabbed onto Peter’s hand and looked at the ridiculously long nails but two fingers were chewed. “Why are these so long?”
He had never cut Peter’s nails before but there was no way they were growing since he got Peter last year.
“I don’t know. They’re just growing.” Peter said then pulled his hand away from Tony and looked at him.
“Well… did you cut them before because I sure didn’t?”
“Before what?”
Tony rolled his eyes. “Before now?”
Peter grabbed the blanket to start chewing on the corner of it like he always did with his towels. “No, I don’t know how. I don’t cut my nails, May always did it for me when I got out of the shower.”
Tony felt incredibly guilty now. That was his responsibility to do and he failed at that. He looked over at Pepper and cleared his throat. “Okay. Let’s go upstairs and I’ll cut them for you.”
Peter shook his head. He hated getting his nails cut and he was fine not getting them cut for months. “No. I’ll stay here.”
“I’m not cutting your nails on the couch. Up up.” Tony tried again but Peter shook his head and lowered himself down into the couch more. “Peter. Let’s go.”
“No. Nooo. I don’t like my nails getting cut. No.” Peter whimpered and tried to roll onto his stomach to get away but Tony was grabbing him which had Peter crying so Tony immediately stopped.
“Okay. I’ll stop.” He thought about how to get Peter upstairs to do this. Part of him wondered what May did and if she had the same problem. “I’ll give you a bowl of ice cream after.”
That had Peter stilling. “Chocolate?”
“Deal. Stand up.” Tony grabbed Peter’s arms and pulled him up, fixing the blanket around his shoulders as they walked past Pepper and upstairs.
Peter immediately made a dash for the bed while Tony stood there, trying to decide where the best place to do this would be. He decided to sit Peter on the bathroom counter and do it there.
“Come, Pete. Hop up on the bathroom counter so I can cut your toenails.” Tony walked into the bathroom with Peter running in after him but he grabbed onto his arm, pulling him back out. “No, put underwear on first. I’ll wait.”
Peter dumped the clean laundry basket out and looked for a pair but he couldn’t find one so he turned to Tony. “I don’t have any.”
Tony was glad he didn’t fold any of those clothes since Peter dumped it all out. “That’s because you barely wear underwear anymore.” He bent down and grabbed pyjama shorts even though it was the end of February and cold out. “Put these on.”
Peter was quick to put them on and followed Tony into the washroom, grabbing onto Tony’s electric razor so Tony grabbed it from his hands. “Don’t touch.”
While Tony was grabbing the clippers, Peter grabbed onto Tony’s aftershave and accidentally dropped it, spilling it all over the countertop. “Oops.”
“Hey,” Tony was quick to pick it up and wipe down the liquid but he didn’t appreciate Peter’s grabby hands right now. “Stop touching things. Just stand there for a second so I can grab something.”
Peter turned around to face the mirror and started making faces into it. “I want to shave my eyebrows off.”
Tony chuckled. He covered Peter’s eyebrows up with his fingers and laughed. “You’ll look too funny.”
“So would you.”
“Hop up.” Tony patted the counter for Peter to hoist himself up before continuing. “Well… I’m not the one saying I want to shave off my eyebrows.”
Tony grabbed Peter’s foot. It was awkward to find a position at first since he had never cut anyone’s nails in his lifetime before. It was going to be very hard. And new.
Another thing to check off the dad list.
As soon as he went to cut the first nail, Peter pulled his foot away and screamed. “No! I don’t want you to cut them.”
Tony wasn’t expecting that. He reached for Peter’s foot again. “I have to.”
That only had Peter screaming again and turning to slide off the counter. “No! I don’t like it.”
“You can’t keep your nails this long. How did you get them short before?” Tony asked, curious, but he had an idea since Peter often had his fingers in his mouth.
“I bite them off. And I’ll do that again so leave me alone.” Peter went to run out of the bathroom but Tony grabbed his arm to stop him from going anywhere.
“That’s disgusting, Peter.” Tony tried to pick Peter up to lift him back onto the counter but Peter made his body go straight as a rod, making it impossible for Tony so he carefully laid Peter on the floor so he could do what he wanted. “We’re not doing anything until you let me cut your nails, kid. I can wait all day.”
Peter rolled onto his stomach and laid his cheek on the cold bathroom marble floor. Tony sighed and took a seat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting until Peter made his choice.
Tony watched him.
Peter was playing with some piece of fluff on the floor and slowly made his way over to the cabinet so he could grab his bath toys but Tony was quick to grab them from him. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not playing. Stand up.” Tony threw the basket back under the sink and walked into the bedroom, he would have to vacuum the carpet later but he wasn’t worried about that.
Peter followed Tony into his bedroom and leaned over the bed. “Tv time?”
“No.” Tony eyed him. Peter really didn’t think he was being serious. He quickly decided how he was going to do this then he decided to have Peter lie down so he could easily cut his toenails. “Lie down.”
Once Peter laid down, Tony pulled his legs so he was closer to the end of the bed then Peter was looking towards the box on the floor. “Pull-ups?”
“What? No. Clippers. Don’t move.” As soon as Tony grabbed the nail clippers and grabbed onto Peter’s foot, Peter started crying and tried to crawl away so Tony had to sit on the bed to pin Peter’s leg between his arm and side. “It’s not that bad, kid. Why are you crying?”
He paused to look over at Peter who was rubbing at his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip once Tony looked at him. “You’re so dramatic, Pete. I’m not even hurting you.”
Peter tried to sit up. “Yeah. You are. I want-I don’t want you to cut my toes.”
“I’m cutting your nails, kid.” Tony fondly rolled his eyes but finished cutting all twenty finger nails. It was a lot harder than he thought and once he was done, Peter immediately sat up and wiped the fake tears off his face.
“I’ve cream?” He asked.
Tony was already making his way out of the room. “As promised. Let’s go.”
.
.
.
Peter was sound asleep.
It was just past four in the morning and Tony had to leave for the airport soon. He spoke to Peter before he fell asleep and explained to him that he wouldn’t be there when he woke up but he would see Peter in two days.
Peter insisted on being woken up to say goodbye and as much as Tony didn’t want to, he didn’t want to betray Peter’s trust.
So, he slowly began waking Peter up. “Hey, baby. Wake up.”
Peter rolled onto his back and rubbed at his eyes. “Hmmm.”
“You wanted me to wake you up before I left. Can I have a hug goodbye?” Tony waited a bit more for Peter to wake up but when he did, Peter’s face scrunched up.
“Don’t leave. Stay with me.” Peter sat up and laid his head on Tony’s lap, looking up at him with desperate eyes.
Tony ran a hand through his curls. “Remember what we talked about? I’m gonna see you soon when you come with Pepper.”
Just then, Pepper walked into the room holding one of Peter’s water bottles filled with milk. He looked at her and waved his arm at her, angrily. “I don’t want to stay with Pepper! I want to come with you.”
Tony sighed. Why did he promise he would wake Peter up? “I know, and I’ll see you soon. Pepper’s gonna stay with you now. Try to go back to sleep.”
Tony wanted to make it downstairs without Peter chasing after him. He pressed a kiss to Peter’s forehead and stood up but Peter was grabbing onto his arm and not letting go. “Noooo! No! Don’t go! Daddy!”
“Peter, I’ll see you so soon. It’ll be okay.” Tony felt awful. He felt like a horrible father for letting Peter’s separation anxiety get so bad and also for leaving Peter when he was full on begging him to stay. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Peter.”
Pepper took a seat on the bed and tried to pull Peter off of Tony but Peter simply wouldn’t let go. Tony gave in and picked Peter up, letting him wrap his legs around his waist and bury his face in his neck.
“What’s the first thing you wanna do when you get there?” Tony asked, trying to put some positive thoughts in Peter’s mind.
Peter whimpered but stopped crying as he tried to think about it. “Swim.”
Tony took a seat on the bed. “That sounds fun. We could swim under the stars. Like in Miami?”
Peter nodded with a sigh. “Yeah.”
The father held his hand out for Peter’s nuk bottle that Pepper handed him. He easily transitioned Peter so he was lying down on his pillow and held the water bottle to his lips until Peter grabbed it.
Tony brushed the curls off his forehead a bit, smiling at Peter. He wanted to try and put Peter back to sleep but he knew it would take too long and he had a plane to catch.
He continued to run his fingers through Peter’s curls, both not wanting to leave his kid and also hoping it put Peter to sleep so Pepper didn’t have to deal with it by herself.
To his surprise, Peter’s breathing slowed down and his head rolled to the side so he slowly and carefully stood off the bed, grabbing Peter’s bear and putting it behind his back to try and give Peter the impression that he was still there.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow night.” Tony grabbed his phone and gave a quick kiss on the cheek to Pepper. It was going to be longer than tomorrow night but Tony didn’t want to think about all the hours spent away from his kid. “Thank you for watching him. I love you for it.”
“He’s your kid, Tony, of course I’m gonna take care of him but I also love him too.” Pepper admitted to him.
Tony got the sense that Pepper realized she loved Peter after he got hurt and almost died.
“I know. Good luck with him, I’ll see you guys soon and I’ll call to help put him to sleep tomorrow night.” Tony didn’t know how much help he could be from the other side of the world but he had to be there for Peter.
Pepper grabbed her book and made herself comfortable on the bed next to Peter. She planned on reading for a few minutes before going into her own bed to at least get some sleep.
She didn’t know how Tony did it. Now that Peter was fully her responsibility and no one was there to help her out, she really didn’t know how Tony did it.
After Pepper went to her room and went to bed, Peter woke up an hour later.
He rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up, looking around for his dad or anyone since he hated waking up alone. He suddenly remembered that his dad was on a plane leaving him. Peter let out a sob and slid off the bed, walking down the hallway to go to Pepper’s room.
He doesn’t remember ever going in her bedroom but he didn’t want to be alone so he pushed the door open and walked over to her side. “Pepper? I’m sad. Pepper?”
She immediately sat up and looked at him. “Oh. Peter, what’s wrong? Why are you awake?”
Peter leaned against her bed, wanting to lie down with her but she didn’t say he could yet. “I can’t sleep alone. I miss dad.”
She sighed and patted the spot next to her. “Oh, honey. Come here.” Peter didn’t hesitate to climb onto her bed and bury himself under the blankets, leaning his head against her chest and wrapping an arm around her stomach, much like he did with his dad.
Although Pepper wasn’t nearly as comfortable. It was like she didn’t know where to put her hands so Peter sat up and grabbed one of her hands, putting it in his hair.
He sighed. He wanted his dad.
Both of them didn’t get much sleep. Peter kept moving around and sitting up in bed, whining about something and Pepper didn’t know how to help him so she just watched him.
By the time the sun came up, Pepper got out of bed and went into the bathroom to get ready for the day while Peter continued to lay in bed, twirling his hair with one hand and watching her move around the room.
She took a seat on the edge of her bed and rubbed his foot. “Do you want to try and sleep some more?” A shake. “Are you hungry?” Another shake. “What do you want to do?”
“Want dad.” Peter whimpered, his bottom lip sticking out. “I-I wanna go see him. I want him.”
“I know and we’re going tomorrow morning. I have a meeting at eight and we’re going straight after that.” Pepper felt bad. If she didn’t have these meetings, she could have gone with them to watch Peter while Tony was at his meetings.
Peter rubbed at his eyes and began crying. “I want my daddy. Give him to me.”
“Aw, honey. I’m sorry. Soon, okay? Then… we’ll get on a plane to go see him.” Pepper said, feeling bad for the boy.
Peter kicked all the blankets off of him and screamed in frustration.
All Pepper could do was watch. She didn’t know what else she could do.
Peter lifted his head up once he stopped his crying and looked at Pepper, holding an arm out to her because he needed some comfort to calm himself down. “I need a hug.”
That was a relief to hear. Pepper sat on the edge of the bed and hugged Peter, feeling him hiccup against her. “It’s okay. We’ll see your dad in no time.”
Now that he was being held and the comfort was there, Peter started to fully cry and let himself break down. He was too tired to really think about it before but now that he was awake, he was being smacked with the realization that his dad, his best friend, his salvation was on the other side of the world and he couldn’t breathe.
He gripped onto Pepper tighter and sobbed. “I wan’-I want my dad!”
Pepper felt hopeless. “I’m sorry. He’s in Switzerland right now but we’re going to see him soon.”
Peter shook his head. He didn’t like that answer. “When soon?”
Pepper didn’t want to say it. It was the furthest Tony had ever been away from Peter so it wasn’t like she could call him and tell him to come home if Peter was too hysterical.
“Soon. Let’s get dressed and then we’ll go eat some breakfast.” Pepper pulled away from Peter which resulted in Peter throwing himself face first onto the bed with a whine.
She didn’t understand what he wanted and it annoyed him. His dad always knew without him having to even say it. He kicked the air. “No going pee or getting dressed.”
Pepper debated on calling Tony but she could do this on her own. “Let’s go downstairs and get something to eat. We’ll start there.”
Peter didn’t want to go but he wanted to at least try and keep his mind busy so he wasn’t thinking about all the possible ways his dad could die while he was in a different country, leaving Peter completely and utterly alone.
He barely ate breakfast. He wasn’t hungry and every bite made him want to vomit so he pushed his plate away.
Steve watched him for a few hours and during that time, he managed to convince Peter to get dressed and use the bathroom although Peter only got dressed in clean pyjamas.
The anxiety was eating away at him. He laid on the couch in the living room while Pepper was at her second meeting, he didn’t know and honestly didn’t care.
The tv was on but Peter couldn’t make out what anything was saying. It was just muffled background noise.
It felt like he hadn’t seen his dad in weeks when it’s only been a day. He felt sick. He wanted his dad.
He pictured Tony pulling him into his arms and he broke. Sobs wracked his body and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
There was a hand rubbing circles into his back so he opened his eyes, seeing Pepper dressed in a fancy outfit with her hair up in a tight ponytail. He didn’t want to pull her away from her meeting but he also wanted her to stay.
He turned to face her. “Want dad. I wanna go now.”
She caressed his face. “I know. We’re going to go on the airplane first thing tomorrow morning. Just a few more hours.”
Peter cried harder at that. He grabbed her hand then reached for her phone with his other hand. “Wan-wanna talk to my dad.”
“Okay. My phones upstairs so we can go get it-”
Peter shook his head, bringing his knees to his chest. “I-I don’t want you going for your meeting. Stay.”
She nodded. “Oh, Peter. I’m all done. I have one more meeting tomorrow before we leave but it’s nine at night. Time for bed.”
Peter sat up, wiping at his tears. He hadn’t realized how late it was but he didn’t want to go to bed without talking to his dad. “I wanna call him.”
“Okay.” Pepper stood up. “Okay. I’ll get my phone.”
Peter was standing up and following her. “No, it’s okay. I can use my phone so I can talk to him all night until I see him tomorrow.”
Peter knew he wasn’t going to sleep tonight, he barely slept last night as well so he walked with Pepper into his dad’s room and opened up his nightstand table, knowing his dad had his phone in there.
To Peter’s surprise, it was fully charged but he didn’t know how since he hadn’t been on it in weeks, possibly even a month.
Peter wasted no time in hitting the FaceTime button and waited eagerly for it to say connecting.
When it did and he saw his dad’s face, a huge smile broke out. “Daddy! I miss you. I wanna see you right now.”
Tony was in a bedroom, Peter could see the large bed in the background. He assumed he was on the tv since he could see his dad’s hands and he wasn’t holding the camera.
“I miss you too, my baby. One more night. Are you being good for Pepper?”
Peter stuck his bottom lip out. “No. I’m not so you should come back now.”
“Oh, baby. You’re coming to me tomorrow.” Tony said, trying to sound happy for Peter but he was miserable and missed his kid.
Peter flopped onto the bed with a whine.
“How about you go shower and get ready for bed.” Tony suggested but it was more of an order.
Peter shook his head and picked the phone back up, leaning his head on Peppers leg. “I’m not sleepy. I want you, dad.”
“Baby, I know.” This was painful for Tony. “But you have to sleep. Go brush your teeth.”
Peter shook his head, burying his face into Peppers leg then he got an idea to stay on the phone all night. “I gotta go poo!”
“I’m gonna come back to tuck you in when you’re done.” Pepper told Peter but Peter was too focused on his dad right now.
Peter placed his phone on the counter so he could still his dad’s face then tugged his pants down and sat on the toilet, swinging his legs back and forth to waste time. “Is your bed comfy?”
Tony knew what Peter was doing but he would play along with it for a little bit. “Yeah, it’s really comfortable. You’ll see tomorrow night.”
Peter couldn’t wait. “How-is the ocean outside your window?”
“No, baby. I’m in Switzerland. Not Miami or Malibu.” Tony couldn’t help but smile. He missed Peter so freaking much. It was like he needed Peter like a drug.
He wanted his kid in his arms.
Peter pretended to think about it. “Oh. What’s your view out your window? Can I see?”
“I’m FaceTiming you from my tv so I can’t turn you. You’ll see when you come.”
“Like a surprise!” Peter exclaimed followed by a yawn. He wanted his dad so badly.
Tony could see Peter was exhausted. He knew Peter didn’t get any sleep last night, at least not after he left. It was going to be another full night before they could see each other so Tony really needed Peter to sleep.
“Yeah, baby. You don’t need to poop, okay? Go brush your teeth and get your pyjamas on.” Tony took a sip of his coffee and checked the time. It was late for him but he didn’t care. Peter was supposed to be in bed.
Peter stood up, grabbing his phone and sliding his feet across the floor until he reached the bedroom, then he climbed onto the bed and pulled the blankets back, all while giggling.
Tony was happy to hear Peter so happy but he knew it was only because Peter thought he was going to stay on FaceTime with him. He didn’t have any more meetings today but he also was only on FaceTime to help Pepper get Peter to sleep.
“Brush your teeth, mr. otherwise all your teeth will fall out of your mouth.” Tony tried to make Peter laugh, he wanted to be at home so badly.
Peter stopped giggling to get comfortable under the blankets. “I already did. This morning I did but it was more like the afternoon so I don’t have to do it again.”
“Okay. That doesn’t count but we can’t win them all.”
Peter placed the phone on his dad’s pillow and whimpered. “Yeah. Come home. Please, daddy.”
“I’m gonna see you tomorrow, baby boy. I promise, but you have to go to sleep first. Put some clean pyjamas on.” Tony suggested but he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.
Peter rolled onto his stomach and kicked his legs. “No! I’m already… I’m already wearing pyjamas, dad.”
“You’ve been wearing the same ones all day.” Tony pointed out.
Peter stopped whining and kicking his legs to look at the screen. “How do you know?”
“I’ve been watching the cameras all day.”
Peter snapped his head up to the ceiling but he couldn’t see any. “I don’t see any anywhere. Not ever. Not even downstairs. Are you watching me now?”
“I don’t need to because I have you on FaceTime. Pyjamas. Now. And I’ll take you swimming in the pool when you get here. Did you wear a pull-up last night?” Tony couldn’t remember. All the days and nights seemed to be mixing together now.
Peter shook his head. “No. Not last night… I’m gonna put one on now.”
“Okay.” Tony watched Peter grab the phone and slide off the bed, onto the floor. “Where’s Pepper?”
Peter dug in his pull-up box, looking for the one he wanted to wear. “In her room maybe.” He found the one he wanted to wear and showed his dad. “This one!”
“Good choice.”
Peter slid it on and continued to look in the box as Pepper walked in, looking surprised to see that Peter was wearing one again. “What happened to your pyjama pants, Peter? You don’t need those.”
“I do.” Peter looked up at Pepper. “Even dad says so.” He picked up his phone and spotted his water bottle Pepper had in her hands so he held his hand out for it, putting it in his mouth once Pepper handed it to him.
“It’s fine, Pep.” Tony said through the phone. “Just in case. I’m not there so I don’t want you to have to deal with anything more.”
Pepper sighed as she sat on the bed and automatically reached out to place her hand on Peter’s outstretched leg. “I don’t mind, Tony. I think this is encouraging him to use it. Don’t make him depend on them.”
Peter knew what they were talking about. He was lying right there but he didn’t care.
“He won’t.” Said Tony. “Close your eyes, Pete. I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”
Peter shook his head. He knew that wasn’t the truth. “Not first thing. Like… sixth thing. I want first thing.”
“I know, baby.” Tony didn’t know how to put Peter to sleep like this. He was too far.
“Do you want a hug, Peter?” Pepper asked him and Peter didn’t hesitate to drop his water bottle and throw himself into her arms, making himself comfortable.
He shut his eyes, trying to imagine it was his dad but it didn’t work. Pepper wasn’t holding him right, his dad always knew where to put his hands and always made him feel like he was in the safest cocoon in the world.
His dad was magic.
He pulled away from Pepper, grabbed his phone, his bear and his water bottle then ran down the hallway, straight into Pepper’s room.
“Where are you going?” Tony asked him.
Peter hugged his bear against his chest. “To Pepper's room. I’m gonna sleep with her tonight if you aren’t coming home!”
“Pete,” Tony felt awful. “I’m not coming home. You know that. Go back to my bed and I’ll help you fall asleep.”
“No.” Peter threw the phone against the wall and screamed through his teeth. “It’s our bed!”
Peter couldn’t hear his dad talking. He didn’t know if he broke the phone or even the wall but he couldn’t hear his dad and he thought he hung up on him so he got out of the bed and ran towards his phone, picking it up. “Dad?”
“I’m here.”
Peter sighed in relief but it came out as a sob. He fell onto the floor, dropping the phone beside his head and, crying rolling around on the floor as if he were on fire but it felt that way by how much it physically pained him to miss his dad.
He didn’t want to live like this anymore. He hated living like this… like he was going to die if he wasn’t with Tony. He couldn’t live without the man and he was doing somewhat okay all day, by not crying, he still felt like he was dying but he didn’t cry mostly because he felt empty, he felt numb and he didn’t want to live that way anymore.
“Peter. You’re okay. I promise I’ll see you to-”
Peter picked up the phone and screamed into it. “I hate you!” He then hung up and threw it at the doorway, nearing missing Peppers head.
“Peter, oh, Peter.” She kneeled down by his head and rubbed at his back. “Oh, Peter. Just breathe. You’ll see him tomorrow.”
Peter hated his dad. He hated him so much for making him crazy. He hated his dad for… everything.
“I’m dying!” He screamed, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He lifted his hands up to rub away the tears but they kept on coming.
“You’re not dying. Just breathe.”
Peter sat up on his knees. “I am! I am… I’m dying.”
“Don’t be silly, how will you see your dad tomorrow if you die, Peter?”
Peter didn’t care. He hated him. “I won’t. I-I-I need…” He needed his father. That’s what he needed but he couldn’t have him right now so he leaned forward so his head was on the carpet and he cried and cried and cried.
He didn’t know how long he cried for but Pepper managed to get him on her bed and then she was handing him his water bottle so he shoved it in his mouth, already feeling his eyes start to close.
He was hiccuping every so often but he wasn’t crying anymore which he was grateful for. He didn’t want to feel like he was dying again.
Pepper held him, it wasn’t his dad but it was physical contact with someone so he’d take it.
Peter didn’t know how much time had passed. He finished his milk a while ago but was continuing to suck on the spout of it while he played with his hair and slowly fell asleep.
He felt vibrating coming from next to him but he was too tired to care what it was. Pepper answered her phone as quietly as she could.
“How is he? Can I talk to him?” Tony asked, panicked into the phone.
Pepper glanced down at Peter beside her. “He just fell asleep, Tony.” She took a quick picture and sent it off to Tony.
“Ah fuck. I’m screwing everything up. He said he hates me. That’s the last thing he said to me, what if that’s the last thing my kid ever says to me. Wake him up. I wanna talk to him.”
“Tony. I’m not waking him up. It took me so long to actually calm him down and put him to sleep so no. I’m not waking him up.” She whisper yelled into the phone. “You guys will see each other tomorrow and then you seriously need to fix this separation anxiety, Tony.”
“I know-”
“No. You don’t know. This is getting worse and worse and it’s your fault. You aren’t doing anything about it and Peter is in pain because of you-”
“Alright! Enough. I get it.” Tony yelled. He knew very well he was fucking up Peter’s life.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean it-”
“But you do mean it. It’s fine. It’s the truth. I know.”
“Tony. I’m sorry. It’s just, I want Peter to stop feeling this way every time you leave. It would be different if he cried saying goodbye and a few minutes after you lift but this is all the time. Hours after you’ve been gone.” Pepper looked down at Peter. Even in his sleep, she could see how sad he is.
“Don’t you think I know that. I’m trying. I’m doing everything I can but it’s not as easy as it seems. Peter is… he’s stubborn. And fucking difficult.” Tony didn’t love Peter any less, it physically wasn’t possible for him to love Peter any less. He loved that boy with every fiber of his being but Peter was Peter and he really struggled being a dad at times.
“I know.” Pepper wiped away her tears. “I know, Tony.”
“Just…” On the other end of the phone, Tony wiped at his own tears. “Tell him I called after he fell asleep to tell him I love him.”
With that, Tony hung up the phone.