Peter Pan
He can still feel the arms, the hands, the fingers down his throat, forcing him to become re-acquainted with the food he had so foolishly tried to smuggle past the man.
The faceless, looming man who took off his belt and beat him, forcing scars into his skin which still lingered long past the other cuts.
He tries to shout, he tries to call for his Dad, his Aunt, someone, someone to save him, but all he gets is another slap across the face, another welt in his back.
Asking for help meant pain, so Peter stopped asking.
Anything to stop drowning, drowning in the hits, in the shouts, in the verbal abuse. Anything to stop drowning in the fact that no one loved him, no one cared enough for him to come and save him.
He was alone.
All alone.
Al-
“Peter!” A voice shook Peter out of his daze, his head shoot up from his desk.
“Present.” Peter said, to no one in particular.
“Thank you Mr. Parker but we established that during registration. The question I asked was: Name one biological cause for schizophrenia.”
Before Peter could speak, another voice interrupted him. “I know Sir, it’s the faulty Caudete Nucleus.” Flash smirked at Peter, a smug glean in his eye. However, these fell quickly when the teacher called out his mistake.
“Actually Mr. Thompson, you’re thinking of the biological explanation for OCD. Now Mr. Parker, if you could tell us the correct answer, I’m sure we would all be grateful.” Mr Reid said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“Um, uh, the dopamine hypothesis? Too much excess dopamine causes increased activity in the brain?” Peter said, his brain still trying to shake away the image he had been dreaming of; actually, a nightmare would be more accurate.
“That’s correct.” Mr Reid said as Flash gave him a death glare. “Mr. Leeds, give me a piece of supporting evidence.”
“Donnelley et al Sir.” Ned replied, casting nervous glances over to Peter. He looked scared, but of what Ned couldn’t work out. Flash never usually rattled him like that.
“You’re dead Penis Parker.” Flash said under his breath, and Ned pretended not to notice the small flinch Peter gave in return. Ned caught up with Peter after class, almost sprinting to catch up with how fast Peter was walking.
“Peter, dude are you okay?” Ned asked, eyes filled with concern as he grabbed onto Peter’s shoulder, attempting to slow him down. That was a mistake. Peter’s breathing began to get shallower, his whole body tensing up as the hand made contact with his body.
A strong hand on his shoulder, pushing him away from all he loved.
Hands on his shoulder, pushing his small body into his bed, smothering him.
Peter almost fell to the floor, catching himself at the last minute and taking off into a sprint, running through the onslaught of students pouring out of the classrooms like molten lava. He needed to get out. He needed to leave. It was all too much…
You can’t escape Peter. No one even knows you’re here. Your dad is dead, just like a lowlife like you should be. No one is coming to save you.
Come on Einstein, you don’t want May to hear you do you?
It’s never been this bad. Never the both of them. They usually came in his nightmares, why were they here now? Peter collapsed against a trash can, not caring that the smell was probably seeping into his clothes. He couldn’t breathe, he tried to shout, to scream, but no sound came out. It was like his world was closing in, fading into darkness until it was just him and the voices. Him and the memories. His hands clutched at his curls, pulling them, trying to focus on the pain. The pain can ground him.
Somewhere, someone is saying his name.
“-ter! Peter can you hear me? I need you to take deep breaths okay?” Peter identified the voice as belonging to Ned. Slowly, he lifted his head and opened his eyes, wincing at the light which flooded them. “Peter can you name 5 things you can see? Can you do that for me?”
“Th-the sky, um, you, the playing fields, clouds, and my shoes.” Peter replied in between breaths, still finding it hard to breathe.
“Okay, good, well done. Now can you tell me 4 things you can feel?” Ned asked, concern dripping from his voice.
“Um, the ground, the trash can, my jacket, and um, um, I don’t know, oh god I don’t know.” Peter’s breathing quicken again, and his eyes bulged wide in fear.
“That’s okay Pete, don’t worry, just keep taking nice, deep slow breaths for me okay?” Ned demonstrated, and Peter did his best to follow. “Tell me 3 things you can hear.”
"Your voice, the birds, and cars.” Peter answered more confidently this time.
“This is a bit harder, but 2 things you can taste.”
“Um, gum, and um blood.” Peter said, lifting his hand to his lip, realising that he must have bitten it in his panic.
“Feeling better?” Ned asked, sliding down the trash can to sit next to Peter, as Peter rested his head against his best friend’s shoulder. Peter nodded minutely, breathing finally back to normal. “What happened?”
Peter sniffled, rubbing his sleeve over his nose. “I don’t know. It was weird. It was like I was in this strange kinda limbo. I kept hearing all these voices and I could feel all these hands on me.” Peter shuddered at the memory.
“Was it you know who again?” Ned asked carefully, not wanting to have to mention his name.
“Ned, you can say Skip, its okay.” Peter said quietly. “And no it wasn’t. Well, it wasn’t at first, but then he kinda joined in.”
"Who was it at first then?” Ned asked, freezing as he felt Peter tense up beneath him. “You don’t have to tell me you know Peter, I don’t want to force you into anything.”
“No, no it’s okay. Truth is, I don’t know who it was. I remember the pain, the feel of the belt, but I couldn’t remember his face. He was just there, this big looming thing.” Peter trailed off, and the two sat in comfortable silence for a minute or two.
“You wanna come to mine after school?” Ned asked, poking Pete in the side. “We could build my new Lego death star!” The boy’s brown eyes filled with excitement, but it didn’t last long.
“I have the Stark internship Ned, sorry…” Peter lied. He had to go out and be Spiderman. Be the person he never was, and make sure what happened to him never happened to anyone else. Peter Parker got hurt, got abused, but not Spiderman. Spiderman was strong, Peter Parker was not.
“You’re always at that internship!” Ned protested, moving so that they were sitting opposite each other.
“Yeah well, maybe it will turn into a real job one day.” Peter said, not looking up from his hands which were currently entwined with each other, a nervous habit Peter never got rid of.
“That would be so cool!” Ned laughed, trying to get Peter to focus on him. “They’d be all like – Good job on those spreadsheets Peter, here have a gold coin.” Peter looked at him, a slight smile gracing his features. “Okay I don’t know how jobs work.” Ned confessed, and Peter finally laughed.
“That’s exactly how jobs work.” Peter joked back, resting his head once again on Ned’s shoulder despite the awkward position.
“Do, do you think he knows he’s your dad?” Ned asked softly, earning only a soft sigh from Peter.
“I hope not. If May said I was taken away for a reason, it must have been a pretty good reason. Sometimes I think it has something to do with the man... Maybe the faceless man is Mr Stark?" Peter trailed off, letting his question hang in the air.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The media have it all wrong when they assume the worst day of Tony’s life was when he was kidnapped. Though the evidence of torture made a very convincing point, the worst day of Tony’s life was reserved for one day, and one day only.
The day he walked into a hospital room and saw his son, starved, beaten and basically dead wasn’t as bad as his worst day.
The worst day was when his son was dragged, kicking and screaming by May out of the room, out of his home, and flown across the country to start a life which he wouldn’t be in.
The worst part of the worst day of his life? Tony could have stopped it, had he not been such a blind idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Pepper?” Rhodey’s voice sounded through the phone. It sounded like he had been crying.
“No? This is Peter, Pepper let me have her phone.” Peter said innocently, stumbling over a few words. Speaking had never been his strong point. That had always been science.
“Peter sweetie, can you go and find Pepper?” Rhodey asked, causing Peter to furrow his brow in confusion. Rhodey never called him Sweetie.
“Okay.” Peter replied, putting down his LEGO and the circuit board his dad had given him to work on while he was away and headed towards the study Tony had set up for Pepper, getting distracted by the video Pepper appeared to be watching.
Pepper’s hands were covering her mouth, which seemed to be stuck in a permanent gasp. The man on the screen was shouting at another man, who had a bag over his head. Peter thought it must be a very strange TV show Pepper was watching, until the bag got pulled off to reveal his father. He was covered in blood, and clearly had been unconscious.
“My Daddy!” Peter shouted as he ran into the room, eyes fixed on the screen, where his father was now being beaten. Peter flinched at every hit, remembering all the similar abuse he had received. Tears began flowing down his face and he began to wail whilst Pepper quickly picking him up and ushering him out of the room. “Pepper! Where’s my Daddy?” He cried, his tears staining her blouse.
“Peter I don’t know honey, I’m sorry, but we are gonna find him, I promise.” Pepper said, as she rubbed his back.
Peter suddenly started to kick and punch at her, pushing her away, trying to get the hand off his back. The hand which was rubbing over three years of abuse, etched into his skin.
“Get off me! Don’t touch me!” Peter shouted, running as soon as Pepper let him down, ignoring the shouts coming from behind him. He tried to ignore Pepper running after him, tears blinding his eyes so much he didn’t realise there was someone in front of him until he ran into the hard body.
Obadiah smirked down at the 5 year old, who was now staring up at him with pure terror on his face. “Seems like someone just can’t stay away, can he?” Peter’s bottom lip trembled, and the tears which fell for his father, now fell out of fear.
“Peter!” Pepper said, coming up behind the small boy and taking his shaking frame into her arms. Peter turned and cried into her shoulder, sobbing louder as a large hand landed on his shoulder.
“Pepper,” Obadiah said, fake concern dripping from his voice. “Peter is in danger. I got a message from the people who have Tony, they want to use Peter a bargaining chip, Pepper they wanna hurt him.” Pepper looked at the small boy in horror, unaware of the fact Obadiah was lying through his teeth. “They’re coming here now – Pepper we have to take him somewhere else.”
“Of course, I’ll take him, or I’ll give him to May, they won’t know about her.” Pepper said, already pulling out her phone. Anger flashed through Obadiah’s eyes before once again being replaced with the fake concern.
“No Pepper, it’s too late, and not to mention too dangerous for you and May.” He lied. “I’ll take him. I have a house further out in the state, it’s private. They won’t think to look there.” Obadiah smirked once again as Peter began to cry softly, not wanting the older man to notice. Pepper nodded tightly, eyes glancing back to the room where the video was playing on repeat.
“Peter, go and grab one toy to take with you. You’re gonna be staying with Uncle Obie for a while, just until your dad comes back okay?” Pepper asked softly.
Peter’s face began to scrunch up again as he said “I want to stay with you!” Pepper simply sighed and kissed Peter on the head, beginning to walk back towards the room she had come from.
“We are going to have a lot of fun, aren’t we Pete?”