Chapter 1
''No, Dina you don't understand,'' You sobbed, the girl's hand slowly patting your shoulder as you both sat on her bed, ''Both of us screamed and it was bad! I- just... ugh she probably hates me now!.'' You continued. Dina mindfully passes you another napkin to wipe your tears. After storming out on Ellie after your argument, you immediately went to Dina's, seeking her judgment of the situation. ''It was about Cat.. again. I guess she'd seen us together after patrol, talking. You know how Cat is, always touchy and all that.'' You tried smiling up at Dina. ''I tried explaining that it meant nothing obviously, I really did try, but Ellie... she just kept findings ways to continue arguing and screaming.'' You hated arguing with Ellie more than anything. Neither of you knew when or how to stop, so it always escalated until someone, usually Dina, ended up involved. Just as tonight.
Dina met your eyes again, sympathy leaking from them, ''I don't want to come off harsh, but maybe it's time you two take a break. I love you both, but you've been almost constantly arguing for weeks, and it's obviously affecting your duties.'' Her words sounded vile but you knew where she was coming from. The last few weeks had been rough between you and Ellie. With Cat returning to Jackson and Joel leaving, she'd been a mess, but that wasn't a reason to treat you like shit... right?
You wrapped your trembling hands around Dina, searching for comfort in your best friends' embrace. ''I...no... Dina, I can't leave her. You two are all I have...'' You muttered. There was no way you could leave Ellie. It wasn't right. Not fair to just leave the second things got difficult. Dina sighed, finally hugging you back carefully as if you were porcelain on the verge of shattering.
The calm moment was interrupted by a loud, hard knock on Dina's door, and you let go of each other. ''I'm busy! Who is it?'' Quickly getting to her feet, Dina walked over to the door. ''Ellie.'' The voice said, just as Dina was about to open the door, freezing in place at the word. ''Please.. please let me in, Dina. I- I fucked up bad and I have no fucking idea what to do.'' The voice continued after a few seconds of silence. You could tell by her voice she had definitely been crying. You and Dina stared into each others' widened eyes, searching for an answer on what to do. Another knock, calmer now. ''Dina, I'm seriously begging you. You're the only one who knows her good enough to help me fix this. Please.''
Dina had now taken a few steps back from the door, still refusing to say a word. ''Fuck- Dina, I think.. I think I'm in love with her. I know.. I know with everything going on at the moment we've been distant and...often arguing.. but I just-'' Her voice broke off, turning into a shallow laugh, ''I can't lose her. Not like this, not over something this stupid. Just please, Dina, help me.''
The tears you'd tried so hard to suppress had broken free, falling from your eyes. Barely understanding what you were doing, you clumsily crawled out of the comfort of Dina's bed toward the dark door. Dina gave you an approving, encouraging smile. You now stood face to face with Ellie, just the wood hiding your faces from each other.
With shaking hands, you slowly twisted the cold doorknob, pulling the door open a few inches. Enough to let the cold winter air slip through, still leaving Ellie on the other side. Sucking in a breath as deep as possible, you pulled the whole door open. Two teary-eyed, clearly sleepless lesbians were now staring at each other in mutual disbelief. It took less than two seconds for both of your lips to find each other. You could taste the salty tears on her lips. Without even realizing it, your arms had wrapped around Ellie's neck, only pulling her more into you. Her cold fingertips quickly rose to hold your face. Your knees getting weak and you wished you could stay here forever, simply melting into each other.
The sudden cough pulled you apart as Dina stared at the two of you, ''I think you should talk. Talk about what happened. I'll give you your privacy.'' She smiled, gently closing the door, locking you and Ellie out on the porch. ''Okay, mom...'' Ellie uttered, and the two of you shared a laugh that soon enough morphed into the silence around you. ''So....'' You started, fidgeting with your hands, ''I'm really sorry for tonight. It was childish and immature for me to just leave like that, I just- just didn't want to say anything I'd regret.... sorry.'' you spoke, doing everything possible to avoid eye contact as you felt Ellie's gaze on you. ''I um.. I'm sorry as well. I was just scared of the chance of Cat stealing you away from me.. I know that it's no excuse but I really don't think I could do this without you. I hate fighting with you, babe.'' The pet name sent shivers down your spine as you nodded at her words.
''I- I love you.'' You quickly said, finally looking into her infinitely green eyes as they widened at your words. ''I love you, too,'' She uttered, ''Fuck, I love you so much.'' she smiled and before you knew it, Ellie's tongue was down your troath again. Pressing you up against Dina's front door, Ellie had just started leaving hickeys on your neck when the door shot open, revealing a smiling Dina again. ''Please don't have sex on my porch, and go home now.'' She remarked, jokingly gesturing for you two to leave. You wrapped her into a tight hug, your way of thanking her for everything. ''Okay, okay, I get it!'' She chuckled, freeing herself from your arms and with another smile disappearing behind the door.
Glancing over to Ellie with a smile, you took her cold hands into yours. On your slow walk back home, you refused to peel your eyes away from her as she looked unbelievably beautiful in the moonlight. ''I love you, Ellie.''