The first time Carol saw Maria outside the little strip airport, she'd taken her breath away. She still had the image saved in her mind twenty years later. She didn't need a camera to remember the way she'd looked that afternoon; skin glowing in the golden light, short hair being blown astray by the breeze, curves that could knock you over and make you beg for mercy. She made the ugly green flight suit look like high fashion, and Carol couldn't take her eyes off her the rest of the day. Nearly got her in trouble right in front of Dr. Lawson.
It had been three weeks before Maria said yes to Carol asking her out. The first time she asked her out, Maria had come back to the ground after a perfectly-executed nosedive.
"Great spin!" Carol had commented. "Why don't we go out to a bar and drink about it?"
Maria had shaken her head and laughed. "Can't! Gotta study."
The second time, she'd gotten up her courage to sit next to her at lunch. Maria had already finished her portion of oatmeal and an apple, so Carol offered her half of her own. They got to talking about things, mainly the disgusting quality of Air Force university food, and Maria had said that her favourite food was Chinese.
"I love Chinese too! Hey, I know this great little place a few miles from here, wanna go Friday?"
"Sorry, I'm hanging out with friends that night. Maybe next time!"
Carol had really been starting to think that Maria just wasn't interested, but the third time was the charm. They graduated top of their class, side-by-side with sparkling grades. After the picture was taken and they'd both shook Dr. Lawson's hand, Carol turned to Maria.
"Wow, I can't believe we're finally in the Air Force! Let's celebrate."
Maria had begun to speak, but stopped herself to laugh. Carol was confused for a moment. "You must be missing the part where you're a girl and I'm a girl and we're now in the U.S. Air Force."
Carol knew then she'd won. She stepped closer to Maria. The brunet was a good two inches taller, but Carol didn't let it put her off. "No way. That's my favourite part, honey."
Maria had laughed and given Carol her number, and from that moment on it had been the two of them against the world. It had only been the two of them when all their friends and family exiled them. It had only been the two of them when Carol was discharged from the army after a long ordeal of dubious justification. And Carol was damn well glad it was only the two of them when Maria had screamed in frustration that she wished they could just run away to Iceland and raise sheep.
So for her birthday the next month, Carol surprised her with the news that there was a piece of property for sale (with sheep) in Myvatn, Iceland, and they could sell everything they had and fly out there in Maria's jet and be there in 10 hours.
It had only been the two of them when Carol attended veterinarian school to get her second degree, and Maria had managed the finances of their little farm until things finally started to turn around and their small flock managed to show quite a profit. It had been glorious and perfect, just the two of them, right up to the day that Maria came into the bathroom while Carol was brushing her teeth and announced "I want to adopt."
"What?" Carol said, spitting and rinsing the paste down as she eyed Maria in the mirror.
"I said, I want to adopt. We both always wanted kids. I think we're doing well enough now that we should get one."
Carol said on the edge of the counter and tied her hair up in a ponytail. "Okay..." she began. "Boy or a girl?"
"I don't care," Maria started. "But a girl, of course."
Carol laughed. "Of course. Black or white?"
"Oh, I don't care, Cary. Can't we talk about the specifics later?"
"I suppose- I just... what was it that you wanted to talk about now?"
"Well..." Maria fiddled with her hands. "I wanted to make sure you want one, too."
"Maria." Carol stood from the counter, went to the treshhold and kissed Maria's exposed shoulder. She was wearing one of Carol's old XL Nine Inch Nails t-shirts, and it hung off her left shoulder, leaving her chestnut skin exposed. "You are the love of my life, and you would make an excellent mother. I couldn't think of anyone else in the world I'd rather raise a child with. Of course I want one."
Maria sighed in relief, but she still sensed hesitation. "...But?"
"Well, but, are you sure you want to adopt? Have you thought about a sperm donor, or something?"
Maria made a face. "I don't think I'd want to be pregnant. Besides, I don't really want to bring any more children into the world, you know? Let's care for one that's already been born."
Carol pondered for a moment. "Sure, but aren't adopted kids kind of troubled sometimes?
Maria laughed. “Who isn’t?”
Carol couldn’t argue with that. Maria said that she should have some time to think about it before they started the process. The next few days, it was all that was on her mind, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what an incredible mother Maria would be. One night, she even had a dream about her hypothetical future child. When she woke up, she knew it was what she wanted, too.
A few weeks later, they had their first appointment with the National Adoption Center to answer some questions. A week after that, they were approved, and then they went back to meet Monica.
Maria fell in love with her first. They walked into the back room together. The walls were light blue, with decorations of whimsical ducks and rabbits dancing. She was sitting on the floor drawing a picture of an octopus in space.
“I like your drawing,” Maria said.
Monica looked up and her face broke into the cutest smile Carol had ever seen. “Thanks! There wasn’t any blank paper, so I just drew on the back of this.” She turned the page over to reveal a torn-out illustration from a colouring book portraying Maximus from Tangled.
She reached for a blue crayon that was just out of her reach on the table. Carol was closer, so she picked it up and handed it to her. “Don’t you want to colour in this drawing?” Carol asked.
Monica scrunched up her face. “Nah. They always give me princess books. I like princesses, but I wish there was a princess in space.”
Maria laughed. “Well, you know, Leia is a princess. And she’s in space.”
“No, Leia isn’t a princess. She’s a general,” Monica corrected.
Carol burst out in a laugh, too. That’s when she fell in love with Monica.
In the months that made up pre-placement, Maria dealt with most of the paperwork. Carol was preoccupied with the farm and some other side projects. She felt bad that Maria was doing most of the work, but the taller woman assured sure that she was happy to do the work.
Still, Carol couldn’t help but feel like she was being unfair, and she could count on one hand the amount of times they’d had sex in the past week. Or rather, she couldn’t; the times being zero.
They were lying on the kitchen floor. Maria was eating a bowl of pho, and Carol was drafting a more efficient jet engine on her computer. It seemed like the first quiet moment they’d had together in a couple of days, and Carol felt that it was a good time to voice her concerns.
“Hey,” she said, nudging Maria’s foot with her own. Maria was wearing mismatching socks, a habit that drove Carol insane. “Do you ever worry we’ll be like one of those couples who get a kid and then never have sex again?”
Maria laughed, expertly picking up a slice of hard-boiled egg with her chopsticks. “No way.” She bit into it, seeming to give no more thought to Carol’s question, and she almost got back into her drawing when she spoke again. “Why, do you?”
Carol shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s just that…”
“You mean ‘cause of the past week? We’ve been busy, though, I feel like this isn’t typical.”
Carol nodded. “I know, but think of how much busier we’re gonna be when Monica’s here. And when are we even gonna find a chance to be alone?”
Maria laughed. “You know elementary school exists, right? We’ll always make time for the things that are important to us. I’m not worried.”
Carol smirked. “You mean, like making time for making time to remember lunch?”
Maria rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “I was busy! I’m eating now, I’m fine.”
Carol put a hand on her forearm. “I don’t want you to skip meals because you don’t have time. Seriously, if there’s too much paperwork, I’ll help.”
“No, it’s not that. You know how I am, I just got caught up, that’s all. I can handle this, really.” She gave Carol a kiss to reassure her.
Carol stole a noodle from her pho, dodging Maria’s chopstick attack.
The next morning was Saturday. Carol had to leave early to meet with someone who was selling a part she needed, but she left a heartfelt text for Maria to wake up to.
Hey beautiful ;)
Sorry I missed you this morning. I would’ve woken you up but you looked so comfy.
There’s leftover waffles in the freezer for breakfast. DON’T forget to eat something for lunch, too.
I should be home by 6pm. It’s a long drive, but hopefully it won’t be for nothing.
About a half hour away from her destination, Carol’s phone vibrated with a response from Maria. She pulled over to read it.
Hey you! The waffles were delicious, thanks.
Also, Bucky asked if I wanted to go out tonight to see that new movie and get some food afterwards. Do you mind?
Not at all! Carol replied. Have fun! Text me when you have lunch.
Pain in my ass, Maria’s quick response came.
Carol chuckled. Love you.
Love you too. Have a good day
Satisfied, Carol silenced her phone and continued onward.
The part turned out to be exactly the right size, and the man even let her have it for 15% off, since she went through all the trouble of driving to get it herself. She’d packed herself a ham and cheese sandwich in the cooler, knowing that there wouldn’t be many places to get food along the way, and then set back home on for the last 5 hours of her drive.
A little after 1, Maria texted her with a picture of alfredo pasta leftovers. Having lunch!
Carol got home and just managed to miss her. Maria texted her right after the movie, though, raving about how scary it was. She sent Carol a few pictures at the restaurant they’d gone to, too.
I told Bucky about that artisanal buffet place we love and he just HAD to take me.
First he steals my girl and then he takes her to our favourite restaurant, Carol joked. What’d you get?
Maria sent her a picture of three plates covered in various delicious organic and deconstructed foods. Everything.
Carol smiled and went out to the garage to work on her engine a little more. She had a problem with finding the correct sized chain to connect her new belt to the alternator, but after a little while and some improvising, she solved it.
Her phone buzzed in her back pocket with a text from Maria.
Ugh I’m STUFFED she exclaimed, along with a photo of four empty plates.
Carol must’ve really been missing her, because sparks instantly raced down her spine, the familiar lightning coiling in her core. She was suddenly very interested in just how much food Maria had eaten.
Wow, that’s a lot. What did you get?
Like two things of lamb. And cod stew. A side salad, some of their hakarl, and some skyr for dessert. And then I gave Bucky a run for his money with the brennivin.
Carol knew firsthand that Maria could beat just about anyone in a game of brennivin shots. Anyone except for her, of course.
God, I feel like I could pop.
Show me, Carol said, in a strange display of absolutely zero self control. She almost felt weird about it, after Maria read it but didn’t respond. She didn’t want Maria to feel like she had a monopoly on all her time, asking her for pics even when she was with friends. And weird pics, at that. Who asks for belly pics? Carol wondered.
Saving her from overthinking too much, though, a moment later a picture from Maria came through. The backward was the familiar tile of the bathroom, and the main subject was Maria, wearing her red button-down crop top that Carol loving. Peeking out underneath that and out of the flaps of her unbuttoned high-waisted pants was her very full belly.
Carol felt like her insides had been set on fire.
I thought you were adopting, not getting pregnant, she sent back.
Oh fuck you xD Maria responded.
Maria was in good shape. She was extremely strong. On many occasions, she’d picked Carol up and tossed her around. They’d both been quite muscular when they were serving in the Air Force, and as Carol continued to work with the sheep and her own engineering projects, the physical tasks kept her in shape. However, Maria was more disposed to taking care of more sedentary tasks, her body had softened. As she’d passed 40 last year, it had become apparent that her metabolism was not as youthful as it was. But her appetite didn’t slow down at all- not that Carol would have wanted it to.
But this was a different side to Maria. Carol really did worry about her forgetting meals sometimes. It was reassuring to know that she was getting enough to eat, and maybe a little bit more. And Carol couldn’t explain it, but there was something so exciting about seeing her that way… belly swollen and firm, packed with food, struggling to digest it.
After 9, Carol was too tired (and frustrated) to work anymore. Her eyes were starting to cross, and she figured a break would be more useful than exhausting herself. She went inside and read a little, and about a half hour later, Maria was home.
“Hi!” she exclaimed, all smiles and cheer. Maria was a little more extroverted than Carol, and spending time with others always put her in a good mood.
“Hey you!” Carol rose from her chair to embrace her lover. “Have fun?”
Maria giggled. “Yeah! Man, you should’ve seen Bucky’s face when I beat him at shots.”
Carol was glad that Bucky had picked her up and dropped her off. “Oof, somebody’s going to have a hangover tomorrow.”
Maria scoffed as she walked into the kitchen. “Who, me? Nah. I’ve got a liver of steel.”
Carol chuckled, sitting again on her rocking chair. She heard the freezer open, although she couldn’t see Maria with the wall in the way. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for ice cream,” came Maria’s muffled reponse.
“I thought you already had dessert,” Carol stated, before she thought better of it and stopped herself.
Maria’s head appeared around the wall. Her hair was windblown and out of place, which shouldn’t have been half as endearing as it was. “Yeah, just yoghurt. That hardly qualifies.” She disappeared again.
“Ah. Carry on, I suppose,” Carol responded with a smirk.
A moment later, Maria plopped down on the floor in front of Carol’s legs with her half gallon of mint chocolate chip, completely ignoring the other furniture in the room. “Mind if I put on something while you read?”
“No, go ahead.”
Maria picked a show Carol wasn’t familiar with, and she became engrossed with the plot. After a moment or two, Carol completely gave up trying read, instead watching the excited face of her lover. She loved how expressive she could become while watching something; her whole face was open and easy to read, and her eyes reacted as every feeling was painted across her face. She had her knees drawn up to her chest, and was perching her tub of ice cream on them, habitually spooning herself a bite every few moments. Carol was sure she didn’t realize it, but Maria was well on her way to finishing the entire container.
The show ended, and Maria looked down to the nearly empty carton in her lap. Carol couldn’t gauge her expression from where she was sitting. “Might as well finish it,” she remarked, tipping the container back and swallowing the melted remains. Carol’s breath caught in her throat and she felt her face heat up. Maria turned off the TV and stood, ostensibly to throw the ice cream away, and she saw how Carol was looking at her. Carol wanted to speak, but she couldn’t get her lips to move.
“I should probably mention,” Maria began. She swallowed, throat clicking audibly in the silent cottage. “I gained some weight.”
Carol felt fire in her spine once more. She wanted to touch Maria, to place her hands over her sepia-brown skin, tangle her fingers in her short ebony hair. She wanted to confess something, kept deep and still inside her, something rising like a new sapling that she’d only been made aware of.
“Come here,” is all she said.
Maria smirked anyway, like she knew everything Carol couldn’t articulate. She left her ice cream container on the ground and straddled Carol’s lap, loosely wrapping her arms around the blonde’s neck. “Hey you,” she whispered, and Carol could taste the mint in the air.
“Hey,” she whispered back, and then their mouths met in a tender kiss. Carol explored her lover’s mouth, tasting the chocolate, and that scent of honey and spring breeze that was all Maria.
“Do you mind?” Maria asked against her lips, after they’d pulled away for air.
“What?” Carol asked, a little breathless, a little lost in her head.
“That I’ve gained weight,” Maria clarified. Her voice was confident and clear, but Carol knew that she often spoke like that when she was feeling the opposite. Carol didn’t want her to ever feel anything less than completely at home in her body.
“No,” Carol shushed, involuntarily moving her hips up to get friction against Maria. “No, I don’t mind at all.”
“Didn’t think you would,” Maria responded. Her eyes were wide and sparkling in the dim light. “Just wanted to check.”
Carol stood with Maria still wrapped around her, surprising the taller woman with a gasp. She could still left her well enough; she was heavier than the last time she’d picked her up, but Carol didn’t care at all. If lifting heavier weights was the price she’d have to pay to continue picking up Maria, she’d pay it with happiness.
On the way to the bedroom, she rested Maria against a wall, hastily kissing down her neck and into the neckline of her shirt. Maria freed her hands from around Carol’s neck to undo her buttons, casting the shirt onto the floor to reveal her strappy bralette.
“Is this one new?” Carol asked, stopping for a moment to appreciate the floral patterns, forest green lace on brown skin.
Maria moaned in what might have been a vague affirmative before she undid the clasp at the back, letting the bralette fall away so her breasts were exposed for Carol.
Carol licked over one nipple, raising her higher on the wall with her arms so she could get a better angle. She leaned away from the wall, gathering Maria into her arms and collapsing toward the bed. Maria lay beneath her, in between her arms, looking like a goddess and a gift to mankind.
She lowered herself down until she was over Maria’s waist, and she braced herself on the bed with her left arm, gently touching Maria with her right hand.
This territory was entirely new to Carol. Where there had once been a flat plane of muscle, now there was the gentle swell of a soft belly, rising up into a convexity even when Maria was laying back. It was entirely thrilling to have been with her for twenty years and still have surprises. It couldn’t have been much more than 25 pounds, but Carol secretly hoped it was the first of more to come.
“Carol,” Maria moaned. “Please...”
Carol loved in when she begged.
Her shorts were still undone, but Maria lifted her hips as Carol eased them down. She pressed a kiss to one hipbone before diving in with her tongue, licking a stripe from Maria’s taint to her clitoris. Maria gasped and tangled her fingers in Carol’s longer hair. Carol swirled the tip of her tongue around her clit before going inside, burying her face in Maria’s folds while she tasted her. Maria was already dripping wet, and her scent surrounded Carol. She rocked her head, moving herself with her shoulders, flexing her back muscles just a little because she knew Maria loved her back. She licked up, curling her tongue up against the ribbed roof of Maria’s vagina until she found her g-spot, focusing her attention there.
Maria was moving all around her, hips bucking up against her mouth, hands sweeping over her hair and back, thighs moving around her ears and pressing into the sides of her head.
Maria shouted something that might’ve been Carol’s name, but the softness of her thighs were pushed against Carol’s ears, effectively deafening her.
A moment later, her headlock tightened as she came, squirting into Carol’s mouth and then relaxing into a spread-eagle position.
Carol came back up to her mouth to kiss her, letting Maria taste herself.
She rested her head on the brunette’s chest, catching her breath for a moment and absentmindedly stroking her hand over Maria’s arm. After a moment or two, Maria’s breathing evened out, and Carol looked up at her face to realize she was asleep.
Carol chuckled as she pressed a kiss to her temple. “Pillow princess,” she whispered fondly, curling up next to her and drifting off to sleep with on hand on her soft belly.
Monica came to stay with them at the end of summer. Post-placement was a whirlwind; they had so many things to get in order before school started. Carol found that Monica had the worrysome habit of forgetting to eat when she was focused on a task as well, and she often had to remind both of her girls to have at least three meals a day. She took up cooking- before Monica, Maria and Carol would often cook meals for themselves and eat together, or order out. On the rare occasion one of them actually made a home-cooked meal, it was usually Maria, and it usually ended up in a various state of burnt or undercooked inedibility. Carol had previously focused her talents on mechanics and engines, but after buying a few cookbooks on Amazon and trying her hand at casserole, she found that cooking wasn’t all that different from mechanics. Also, as her skills grew, it added the extra ability of learning how to bake desserts and feeding Maria most of whatever pastry she’d made after Monica went to bed. Leftovers didn’t last long in the Danvers-Rambeau household, and looking at Maria, it was easy to see why.
Carol had been right about Maria’s small gain of the month before; the first 25 had only been a hint of what was to come. Fall came to Myvatn, the days grew shorter and the nights were colder, and Maria would wear (once) oversized chunky knit sweaters and huddle near the fire with a cup of cocoa. Her figure had softened into pear-shaped beauty, with larger breasts atop her soft and dimpled stomach, and wide thighs that supported her round bottom. With the last 10 pounds, her face had begun to round out as well, and Carol found it absolutely irresistible. Monica liked it too, commenting once that Maria was much more “warm and motherly” now. Carol had to agree. They looked like a family, the three of them. And Carol needn’t have worried about becoming frigid after adopting; when they fell into the routine of the private school shuttle picking up Maria at 5 every morning, their daily adventures came not much long after.
Carol’s favourite day of the whole weeks, surprisingly, were Sundays. That wasn’t to say that she didn’t adore the weekdays when her and Maria were alone for hours with no one to disturb them; but she loved Monica’s company. The eleven-year-old often had such funny and unexpected things to say, and Carol and her became fast friends.
Their friends were all very supportive of their decision to adopt (especially Bucky and Steve), and Maria had been asked a few times if she was pregnant, or if they’d been considering a sperm donor. The first time, it had caught Maria off guard and made Carol angry, but after it had occurred a few times, Maria reassured Carol.
“They don’t mean anything by it, I’m sure. It probably has more to do with my weight gain than our family.” And she was right, Carol knew. It wasn’t hard to see how someone could mistake Maria as pregnant, with her large belly and weight gain. Carol just didn’t want Maria to feel uncomfortable.
But she never did, shaking off the comments with ease and responding that one child was enough. She seemed happy, and as long as she was, Carol was too.
Still, Carol had doubts, and she liked everything to be laid out plain and simple. She loved the way Maria looked. She always had. But, there was something special and different about this much more, and she wanted Maria to know that.
One night when Monica was having a sleepover at a friend’s house, Carol debuted her chicken salad. She’d grilled the chicken and smoked it with applewood, and then spread it over a baby kale salad with alfalfa sprouts, pine nuts, cauliflower, pomegranate seeds, shredded carrots, and chickpeas, doused in her own raspberry vinaigrette. The harvest had offered them more produce than what was usually on hand, and Carol felt that it rung in a nice last taste of summer.
“Thank you, honey,” Maria commented while Carol set down the bowl at her place. She inclined her head up and Carol bent over so she could kiss her. “Salad? You tryin’ to put me on a diet?”
Carol swallowed nervously. “The opposite, actually. I wanted to talk about that.”
Maria patiently waited while Carol took her seat before she began with the meal. She had an expression Carol couldn’t quite gauge; something between pride and expectation.
Carol took a bite from her own bowl. She was worried that so many toppings might have been too much, but in her opinion, it was the best salad she’d had.
Maria echoed her thoughts. “This chicken is great, sweetheart. The salad too. I hope you kept the recipe.” Carol was thinking of an apt response, but Maria saved her from that. “What was it you wanted to bring up?”
“Well… your weight.”
Maria nodded. “Do you want to know how much I gained?” Carol nodded. “Forty-two pounds. I weigh 187 now.” Carol took a sharp breath. “Are you happy with the way I look?”
Finally, a question she could answer. “Yes, god yes, you’re so beautiful. I’d love you at any weight, you know that. But-”
“But you like the way I look now.” Carol nodded again. “Would you like it if I gained more weight?” Carol nodded for a third time, very enthusiastically. Maria smiled. “Good. ‘Cause I would, too.”
Carol let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Thank god. I mean, I’m glad you’re happy. I want you to be happy.”
Maria took her hand across the table. “You do. You always have. You always put my safety above everything, and you make sure I’m happy, too. I told you I wanted a child, and you listened to me and treated the problem seriously, and now we have one. I gained forty pounds and you never once looked at me differently. I couldn’t be more happy, Carol, I love you with my whole heart,” Maria told her.
Carol smirked. “So you don’t regret running away from the U.S. Air Force with me?”
Maria grinned. “No way.” She squeezed Carol’s hand, and she knew she meant it.
After dinner, Carol brought out dessert (chocolate mousse pie). While she was cutting it in the kitchen, Maria came up behind her.
“No, go sit down,” Carol urged. “I’ll bring it out to-”
“I was thinking we could have it in the bedroom,” Maria interrupted.
Carol’s throat went dry. She followed her in, opting to bring the entire pie rather than a slice.
Maria sat against the headboard. She was wearing a cozy sweater and wool knit leggings, and her legs were spread wide to allow her belly space to rest between them. It didn’t sag much, and wasn’t even heavy enough for an overhang, but when she was full like this she needed to lean back and offer her belly all the space she could.
Carol sat between her legs and ignored the divisions of the pie altogether, feeding her forkfuls straight from the tin.
When she was almost halfway done, Maria motioned for her to stop. “It’s excellent, really. I just don’t think I can… oof… finish it.”
Carol put it aside. “Of course. Thank you, by the way. For making this so easy for me.”
Maria smiled, cupping Carol’s cheek with one hand. “We’ve had enough hard times. We deserve things to be easy now.”
Carol matched her smile, leaning forward over her belly to kiss her. She couldn’t agree more.